The Sexology Lab

What actually happens when actors film a sex scene—and who makes sure intimacy is choreographed, communicated, and consensual?In this episode of The Sexology Lab, intimacy coordinator and intimacy director Jamie Monahan takes us behind the scenes of intimate storytelling in film, television, theater, and audio. Jamie shares how her background as an actor and director led her into intimacy coordination, what the job really involves, and why the role is about much more than preventing something from going wrong.We also dive into Jamie’s work with Quinn Audio on Ember and Ice, featuring Heated Rivalry actors Connor Storrie and Hudson Williams. Jamie explores how intimacy can reveal character, why consent and aftercare matter on and off screen, how audio erotica creates new opportunities for immersive storytelling, and why better representations of intimacy in media can shape the way audiences understand sex itself.KEY TAKEAWAYS:Filming intimacy is far more technical than it looks. An intimacy coordinator is both a creative collaborator and an advocate. Intimate scenes can tell us something important about characters. Consent on screen matters off screen, too. Intimacy coordination isn't only about stopping harm.SHOW SUMMARY:00:00 – Why an Actor May Still Need an Intimacy Coordinator00:27 – Meet Jamie Monahan01:20 – Jamie's Most Unexpected Fun Fact01:45 – What Filming a Sex Scene Really Looks Like03:00 – What Is Quinn Audio?04:00 – Behind Ember and Ice04:40 – Romance, War, and the Intimacy Arc06:05 – When Romance Fandom Crosses Into Audio Erotica06:55 – Are We in a "Smut Renaissance"?08:20 – Sex Scenes Should Tell Us Something09:20 – What Heated Rivalry Does Differently10:30 – Consent as Character Development11:35 – Media Is Sex Education, Whether We Like It or Not13:10 – From Actor and Director to Intimacy Coordinator14:00 – The Sexual Assault Scene That Changed Her Career14:40 – "Your Body Doesn't Know the Difference"15:00 – Discovering a Brand-New Profession16:20 – Following Curiosity Into a Career17:30 – What Does an Intimacy Coordinator Actually Do?18:40 – Why This Role Became Necessary19:20 – No More Surprise Nudity on Set20:00 – You Can't Remove Power Dynamics20:45 – What If an Actor Doesn't Want an Intimacy Coordinator?21:05 – One Bad Experience Doesn't Define an Entire Profession22:00 – When the Bigger Star Says, "I Don't Need One"23:00 – "I Know He's Not a Creep" Misses the Point24:00 – Making Intimacy Coordination Standard PracticeRESOURCES MENTIONED THIS EPISODE:The Sexology Lab is powered by Sexual Health Alliance, the premier global hub for sexology certifications, evidence-based continuing education (CE/CEU), and an expansive international network of therapists, healthcare providers, educators, and sexuality professionals.Learn directly from industry pioneers and leading voices in modern s//xual wellness:Explore the Community: ⁠https://sexualhealthalliance.com/⁠Certifications: https://sexualhealthalliance.com/get-certified-allcertifications⁠Join Us at AMPLIFY this October 2026!As millions turn to digital media, social platforms, and modern culture for guidance on sex, relationships, and identity, clinicians and educators must shape conversations that are inclusive, evidence-based, and representative.Secure your conference pass: ⁠https://www.sexologylab.com/amplify⁠Resources, people, and projects discussed in this episodeJamie Monahan: https://www.imdb.com/name/nm5536708/ Ember and Ice: https://www.tryquinn.com/series/ember-and-ice Heated Rivalry: https://www.instagram.com/heatedrivalrycrave/?hl=en Chala Hunter: https://www.chalahunter.com/ Intimacy Directors and Coordinators (IDC): https://www.idcprofessionals.com/ If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe and leave a review! 🎙 Thanks for tuning in to The Sexology Lab. See you next week! https://www.sexologylab.com/

Trauma doesn't stay neatly contained in the past—and it doesn't stay outside the bedroom.In this episode of The Sexology Lab, we sit down with Amanda Jepson, SHA-certified and AASECT-certified sex therapist and trauma specialist, to explore how trauma can shape desire, pleasure, trust, touch, attachment, communication, and relational safety. Amanda explains why trauma-informed sex therapy often requires slowing down, building safety first, and helping clients reconnect with their bodies and sexuality at their own pace.We also talk about affirming care for erotic minorities, the risks of clinician bias, how Amanda chooses between modalities like EMDR, CPT, narrative therapy, CBT, and DBT, and what good care actually looks like for queer, kinky, non-monogamous, disabled, larger-bodied, and otherwise marginalized clients. Plus, Amanda shares how current political realities are showing up in the therapy room—and why community, supervision, curiosity, and ethical self-reflection matter more than ever.KEY TAKEAWAYS:Trauma can affect sexuality even when the trauma itself wasn't sexual. Trust, nervous-system regulation, desire, touch, vulnerability, attachment, and orgasm can all be impacted.Trauma-informed sex therapy moves at the client's pace. Safety and stabilization come first, followed by trauma processing and then deeper reconnection with pleasure, sexuality, and relationships.Clinicians have to examine their own bias. Erotic minorities can be harmed when professionals pathologize, judge, minimize, or over-romanticize identities and behaviors based on their own beliefs instead of listening to the client.SHOW SUMMARY:00:00 Trauma & Sexuality00:42 Erotic Minorities01:54 Origin Story04:00 Fluid Labels04:32 Sensate Focus05:48 Overcoming Bias06:58 Clinical Gaps: OCSB08:26 Taboo Porn & Guilt12:35 EMDR, CPT & CBT18:12 Safety & Stabilization20:21 Fight or Flight vs. Orgasm23:54 Somatic Coping25:38 Ready for Reconnection28:28 Kink, BDSM & CNM Trauma31:52 Polyamory Affirming Care36:56 Therapist Humility38:22 LGBTQ+ Across Politics45:28 Ethics: Community & Military46:53 Post-Traumatic Growth47:54 Rapid Fire Myths & Skills49:45 SHA ExperienceRESOURCES MENTIONED THIS EPISODE:The Sexology Lab is powered by Sexual Health Alliance, the premier global hub for sexology certifications, evidence-based continuing education (CE/CEU), and an expansive international network of therapists, healthcare providers, educators, and sexuality professionals.Learn directly from industry pioneers and leading voices in modern sexual wellness:Explore the Community: https://sexualhealthalliance.com/Certifications: https://sexualhealthalliance.com/get-certified-allcertificationsJoin Us at AMPLIFY this October 2026!Modern intimacy is evolving. As millions turn to digital media, social platforms, and modern culture for guidance on sex, relationships, and identity, clinicians and educators must shape conversations that are inclusive, evidence-based, and representative.Secure your conference pass: https://www.sexologylab.com/amplifyResources and concepts discussed in this episode include:Amanda Jepson: https://colorfullifetherapy.com/ Sexual Health Alliance: https://sexualhealthalliance.com/ EMDR: https://www.emdria.org/ Tell Me What You Want by Dr. Justin Lehmiller: https://www.sexandpsychology.com/books/ SUBSCRIBE AND REVIEW:If you loved this episode, please take a moment to subscribe and leave a review. Your support helps us reach more people with thoughtful, evidence-informed conversations about sex, relationships, trauma, and human behavior.🎙 Thanks for tuning in to The Sexology Lab. See you next week! https://www.sexologylab.com/

Today in The Lab, we sit down with Dr. Nazanin Moali, licensed clinical psychologist, certified sex therapist, and host of the Sexology Podcast, to unpack one of the most common concerns in modern relationships: low desire. Dr. Moali explains why so many people mistakenly believe something is "wrong" with them when they aren't spontaneously in the mood, and how understanding responsive desire can completely change the way we think about intimacy.We also explore the hidden factors that quietly erode desire—including chronic stress, nervous system dysregulation, emotional safety, body image, mental load, relationship dynamics, and the myth that great sex should always happen effortlessly. Plus, Dr. Moali shares practical strategies couples can use to reconnect, communicate about sex, and cultivate desire over time instead of waiting for it to magically appear.KEY TAKEAWAYS:Most people experience responsive desire, meaning desire often follows arousal—not the other way around—and there's nothing broken about that.Stress, emotional safety, mental load, and disconnection have a profound impact on desire, often more than libido itself.Great sex isn't effortless—it requires communication, curiosity, and intentionally creating the conditions where desire can thrive.SHOW SUMMARY:00:00 - 00:44 – Debunking the Myth of Spontaneous Libido vs. Responsive Desire01:48 – Dr. Nazanin Moali on Clinical Sex Therapy and Modern Intimacy04:16 – Hollywood Misconceptions: Understanding Responsive Desire in Relationships06:16 – Nervous System Dysregulation, Burnout, and Low Sexual Drive08:45 – Polyvagal Theory, Somatic Movement, and Regulating Stress for Pleasure11:21 – Building Emotional Safety, Healing Trauma, and Overcoming Bodily Disconnection12:48 – Overcoming Long-Term Relationship Predictability with Erotic Novelty13:56 – Mapping Your Erotic Template and Using an Erotic Journal16:56 – Cortisol Overload, Body Image Issues, and Navigating Sexual Shame17:59 – Libido Killers: Antidepressant Side Effects and Perimenopause Hormonal Shifts18:43 – Practical Insights from the Sexology Practice Guide19:43 – Managing Desire Discrepancies and the Myth of Effortless Intimacy21:18 – Sexual Communication Strategies: Sexy Happy Hour and Intimacy Menus22:24 – Domestics Resentment: Chore Inequity and the Parent-Child Relationship Dynamic27:12 – Rebalancing the Mental Load and Sensory Overload for Caregivers and Moms27:42 – Dr. Nazanin Moali’s Journey Founding the Sexology Podcast31:16 – De-stigmatizing Taboo Intimacy Topics, Kink, Pegging, and Sexual Education32:45 – Content Creation Tips for Aspiring Sexual Health Podcasters34:11 – Why Sex Feels Like a Chore: Shifting from Goal to ExperienceRESOURCES MENTIONED THIS EPISODE:The Sexology Lab is powered by Sexual Health Alliance, the premier global hub for sexology certifications, evidence-based continuing education (CE/CEU), and an expansive international network of therapists, healthcare providers, educators, and sexuality professionals. Explore the Community: https://sexualhealthalliance.com/Certifications: https://sexualhealthalliance.com/get-certified-allcertificationsJoin Us at AMPLIFY this October 2026Modern intimacy is evolving. As millions turn to digital media, social platforms, and modern culture for guidance on sex, relationships, and identity, clinicians and educators must shape conversations that are inclusive, evidence-based, and representative.Secure your conference pass: https://www.sexologylab.com/amplifyMore from this episode's guest at: Dr. Nazanin Moali: https://oasis2care.com/Sexology Podcast: https://sexologypodcast.com/The Erotic Mind by Jack MorinSUBSCRIBE AND REVIEW:If you loved this episode, please take a moment to subscribe and leave a review! Your support helps us reach more people who need these insights.🎙 Thanks for tuning in to The Sexology Lab. See you next week! www.sexologylab.com

What kind of relationship actually works for you—and how much of that answer comes from what you genuinely want versus what you've been taught a relationship is supposed to look like?In this two-part conversation, we sit down with Dr. Eli Sheff, sociologist, certified sexuality educator, longtime researcher of consensual non-monogamy, and Director of Sexual Health Alliance's Advanced Certification in Consensual Non-Monogamy. Drawing on more than 25 years of research, Dr. Sheff takes us beyond the stereotypes surrounding polyamory and into what people's relationships and families actually look like.In Part 2, we turn to Dr. Sheff's groundbreaking longitudinal research on polyamorous families with children. After decades of following these families, her findings challenge one of the biggest assumptions about consensual non-monogamy: that unconventional relationship structures inherently create instability for children. Instead, her research highlights resilience, emotional intelligence, strong support networks, and the importance of what she calls polyaffective relationshipsKEY TAKEAWAYS:Dr. Sheff's long-term research challenges assumptions that children raised in polyamorous families are inherently confused or unstable; the families in her research demonstrate significant stability, resilience, emotional connection, and social support.Strong polyamorous families often rely on polyaffective relationships—lasting emotional bonds that can remain important even when sexual or romantic relationships change. The quality of relationships, communication, consent, and support may tell us far more about a family's well-being than whether its structure fits conventional expectations.SHOW SUMMARY:00:00 - 02:56 - Common Mistakes in Consensual Non-Monogamy & Navigating the Unicorn Hunters Phenomenon02:56 - Unpacking Threesome Dynamics: Deconstructing Male Fantasies and Pornography Expectations06:13 - The Evolution of Consensual Non-Monogamy in Academic Research and Psychology11:00 - Debunking Myths About Polyamorous Families: Resilience, Emotional Intelligence, and Child Support Networks16:50 - How Children Form Relationships with Parental Partners in Polyamorous Homes20:05 - Overcoming Societal Stigma and Understanding Boundaries in Polyamorous Parenting23:53 - Lightning Round: Media Representation, Pop Culture Portrayals, and the Reality of Non-Monogamous Lifestyles27:51 - A Message for the Next Generation: Releasing Shame and Embracing Sexual Health and Relationship DiversityRESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:The Sexology Lab is powered by Sexual Health Alliance, the premier global hub for sexology certifications, evidence-based continuing education (CE/CEU), and an expansive international network of therapists, healthcare providers, educators, and sexuality professionals. Learn directly from industry pioneers and leading voices in modern sexual wellness:Explore the Community: www.sexualHealthAlliance.com Certifications: www. sexualhealthalliance.com/get-certified-allcertifications
Join Us at AMPLIFY this October 2026!Modern intimacy is evolving. As millions turn to digital media, social platforms, and modern culture for guidance on sex, relationships, and identity, clinicians and educators must shape conversations that are inclusive, evidence-based, and representative.Secure your conference pass: https://sexualhealthalliance.com/sha-annual-conference-2026More from this episode's guest and topics discussed:Dr. Eli Sheff: https://elisabethsheff.com/ The Bonding Project: https://www.bondingproject.com/ Sexual Health Alliance Advanced Certification in Consensual Non-Monogamy: https://sexualhealthalliance.com/consensual-non-monogamy-certification SUBSCRIBE AND REVIEW:If you loved this episode, please take a moment to subscribe and leave a review! Your support helps us reach more people who need these insights.🎙 Thanks for tuning in to The Sexology Lab. See you next week! ⁠www.sexologylab.com⁠

What kind of relationship actually works for you—and how much of that answer comes from what you genuinely want versus what you've been taught a relationship is supposed to look like?In this two-part conversation, we sit down with Dr. Eli Sheff, sociologist, certified sexuality educator, longtime researcher of consensual non-monogamy, and Director of Sexual Health Alliance's Advanced Certification in Consensual Non-Monogamy. Drawing on more than 25 years of research, Dr. Sheff takes us beyond the stereotypes surrounding polyamory and into what people's relationships and families actually look like.In Part 1, we explore the many ways people build relationships, from monogamy and polyamory to swinging and other forms of consensual non-monogamy. Dr. Sheff introduces the Bonding Project, explains how to determine which relationship structure might work for you, breaks down common mistakes people make when opening relationships, and tackles everything from unicorn hunting to couples privilege.There is no single relationship structure that works for everyone. Monogamy, polyamory, swinging, and other relationship styles come with different expectations around emotional intimacy, exclusivity, autonomy, and commitment.Before trying consensual non-monogamy, it's important to consider not only how you feel about having additional partners, but how you would feel about your partner having those same opportunities.SHOW SUMMARY:00:00 – Non-traditional Relationship Models and Cornerstone Needs00:21 – Introduction to Dr. Eli Sheff and Consensual Non-Monogamy01:14 – Guest Icebreaker: Dr. Eli Sheff's Background in African Dance01:54 – Overview of The Bonding Project Relationship Test03:56 – Audience Compatibility and Romantic Bonding Archetypes05:59 – Inspiration and History Behind Creating The Bonding Project08:10 – Relationship Diversity, Stigma, and Fluid Expectations09:58 – Paid Results Expansion and Managing Polycule Expectations11:49 – Sponsor Segment: Sexology Practice Guide Promotion12:28 – Defining Consensual Non-Monogamy, Open Relationships, and Polyamory13:47 – Emotional Intimacy vs. Couple's Privilege in Polyamory and Swinging16:12 – Identifying Personal Alignment with Monogamy vs. Polyamory19:07 – Structuring Relationship Boundaries, Open Arrangements, and Alone Time21:33 – Sociological Differences Between Polyamory, Polygamy, and Polygyny22:56 – Socioeconomic Requirements of Polyamory and Women's AutonomyRESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:The Sexology Lab is powered by Sexual Health Alliance, a global hub for world-class certifications, cutting-edge education, and a thriving community of professionals. Many of the show's guests also share their expertise at their events.Join them at: www.SexualHealthAlliance.com More from this episode's guest and topics discussed:Dr. Eli Sheff: https://elisabethsheff.com/ The Bonding Project: https://www.bondingproject.com/ Sexual Health Alliance Advanced Certification in Consensual Non-Monogamy: https://sexualhealthalliance.com/consensual-non-monogamy-certification SUBSCRIBE AND REVIEW:If you loved these episodes, please take a moment to subscribe and leave a review! Your support helps us reach more people who need these insights.🎙 Thanks for tuning in to The Sexology Lab. See you next week!https://www.sexologylab.com/