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NOBODY LIKES ONIONS
NOBODY LIKES ONIONS
Author: Patrick Melton
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© PATRICK MELTON
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For over FIFTEEN YEARS, Nobody Likes Onions has been making audiences laugh at the absurd, the obvious, and the wrong. Comedian Patrick Melton, along with other entertainers from around the world, gather around microphones three times a week to present their unique observations and opinions about current events, pop culture, and real-world experiences in their personal lives.
854 Episodes
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Stuttering John has challenged Rocco to a boxing match, and Rocco has accepted. But in this world people are constantly challeging each other to fights that never happen. Will this be different? Summer Sinclair is cranking away at her comedy career and it’s time we checked in on her. Mersh is done with the Dabbleverse and it looks like resident grandpa Schmuel Buckman has triggered yet another streamer. Karmic isn’t doing well after his recent “accidental” reveal that he is traveling with Felicia Gillespie. Let’s also watch on of the latest Chad’s Wet Brained Follies courtesy of the one and only Chad Boozemock!
Why don’t you duck-walk your silly ass on over here an plant one on me, Sally!
Chad Zumock is having a rough time between his tiny apartment being revealed, harassing deliveries during his show, and now his fake girlfriend breaking up with him and his dreams of being a homeowner evaporating. Matt Mead still hasn’t learned damage control and continues to make things worse for himself. Aaron Imholte is doing great, crushing the haters and making us feel! Mersh thinks Patrick plays dumb for content, but on this show Patrick plans to play even dumber!
Is Matt Mead the biggest simp you’ve ever seen in your life? Or is he just a complete idiot? You be the judge! Karmic gets cryptic about his life and wherabouts while revealing even more about his life an whereabouts. Scarlett continues her parade of shows while completely alienating her original e-Daddy Mersh, who completely loses it on her for her appearance on Ethan Ralph’s show. Aaron Imholte spent the weekend neglecting his kids again to go out on the streets and play news man, and he still can’t hit a goal.
With the lowest numbers he’s ever had, and hypocrisy galore, things just keep getting better for Steel Toe! Join Patrick, Karl from WATP, and Moody as they discuss the hilarity of the week from Aaron Imholte and his Steel Toe Morning Show. The man who refuses to get a job never ceases to captivate while ratcheting up his lies and sperg-sessions for our amusement.
Patrick has put out an offer for Stuttering John to come to Hackamania, but just like a bunch of buffoons before him, he’s handled in the wrong way! Felicia Gillespie has a track record of being completely nuts when it comes to relationships. Michael Ray Bower is trying to make the most of the new year, but will it stick? Chad Zumock does another walk and talk stream where he reveals how much his loyal fans really mean to him. Plus we check in on some of our favorite nuts in the NLO goof troupe!
KarmicX is living at Felicia Gillespie’s place again, because he can’t be alone with his own thoughts in the frozen Minnesota north. But it doesn’t seem like he is finding peace and happiness in his newfound old relationship, and the cracks are already forming in this simple man’s facade. Kevin Brennan doesn’t understand anything, and the meltdowns lately have been amazing. Watch as dementia-adjacent KB continues his crash outs for all to watch. Kitty Pineapple, one of the belles of the Las Vegas comedy ball, is back making content and laughs for us to dig in to.
Chad Zumock admits he has no skills and talent while rehashing what went wrong with his life, but still blames other people for his shortcomings. Let’s watch Chad learn about the internet in real time as he discovers his very own Pizzagate. Kevin Brennan is still obsessed with the numbers. Michael Ray Bower has a chance to start over, but what does that mean for the once super-successful and beloved child actor? Crazy Joe is still battling demons as he attempts to get his show off the ground eleven years after we found him. Karmic explains his 90-day probation plan with Felicia Gillespie. This time it’s gonna go great!
Kevin Brennan is living the dream. Sure, his Patreon numbers are down, but he’s not going to let that bother him. As a matter of fact, he’s playing a joke on all of us because he’s making up the money elsewhere. Don’t worry about him. He’s doing fine. You’re all just Melton trolls, anyway. Keanu Thompson may be growing tired of her husband as he inches towards sixty years old, constantly gets drunk on stream and embarrasses himself, and can’t stop repeating his broken-brain chants about a flu and dragging her in to his fights. Is the honeymoon over?
Chad Zumock spent another weekend drunk in the tiny apartment he claims is only a temporary housing situation. Watch as he tries to confront Scarlett about her issues while his daddy Kevin uses her for chuckles. Ashley Cummings needs the Dabbleverse even though she claims to be tired of it. She can’t cash her $20 checks fast enough! Aaron Imholte leaves his basement and gets more views than ever while prancing around St. Cloud and pretending to not be a racist!
With the lowest numbers he’s ever had, and hypocrisy galore, things just keep getting better for Steel Toe! Join Patrick, Karl from WATP, and Moody as they discuss the hilarity of the week from Aaron Imholte and his Steel Toe Morning Show. The man who refuses to get a job never ceases to captivate while ratcheting up his lies and sperg-sessions for our amusement.
KarmicX reveals why he flip-flopped on Hackamania on Monday, despite not being offered anything – he’s back together with Felicia, the woman he complains controls his life and his show to his own detriment. Watch as this poor simpleton reckons with his own decisions in real time. Chad Zumock has been revealed as a fraud, with the recent revelations of his tiny apartment and imaginary girlfriend sending shockwaves through to Dabbleverse. To make himself feel better, the wet-brained buffoon has decided to buy himself a car, and has already been caught lying about it. Ray Devito made some money in November and now can’t stop taunting people about his wealth. Stuttering John is coming to Hackamania and has Rocco on the run!
It’s a new year, but the same old ghouls are running around arguing about nonsense! Ashley Cummings and Keanu have been clashing over their fallout, and it’s hard to tell which one of them is more redacted. Keanu spills a secret about Ashley and the passive-aggressive battle is one you won’t want to miss! Scarlett Hampton is getting close to Karmic and it appears he’s ready to throw Felicia away for a chance at love with the midwestern strumpet. Mersh is mad at Haley for making a hunchasaurus voice for some reason. Supertip is causing battles in these streets!
Join Patrick and Tookie as they talk about the old, ring in the new, and celebrate with fans as we head in to the Dabbleverse in 2026! What will this insane world have in store for us in the coming year?
Kevin Brennan can’t stop terrorizing Patrick! First he calls the iRS to report the fearless Onion leader, and now he’s calling The Plaza hotel to waste employees time for no payoff. Pluperfest in Las Vegas was a tremendous success! As long as you don’t know what success is and you enjoy spin! Patrick wasn’t going to talk about it, but it seems Blade and Karl are fighting over what happened two weekends ago in Sin City. Chad Zumock has been drinking his way through the holiday season, and lots of juicy info is coming to light. Let’s explore Chad’s stolen credit card saga and find where the truth meets what’s going on in Wet Brain’s head. PLUS we finally know where Chad lives, and nothing will prepare you for this, but Chad has been lying to us!
Patrick has been sick for almost a week – full of aches, coughs, wheezes and sneezes. But it’s wearing off. Let’s see if he even still remembers how to do any of this. Come for a special late night hang out where the only thing on the menu is uncertainty. Enjoy!
With the lowest numbers he’s ever had, and hypocrisy galore, things just keep getting better for Steel Toe! Join Patrick and Moody as they discuss the hilarity of the week from Aaron Imholte and his Steel Toe Morning Show. The man who refuses to get a job never ceases to captivate while ratcheting up his lies and sperg-sessions for our amusement.
Patrick has been busy with the launch of the new Supertip system, and now you and your favorite show can sign up to use the system! Kevin Brennan is losing his mind! Watch as a 65-year-old man tries to figure out how to bring his enemies down with his old dumb brain! Karmic can’t stop spiraling after the loss of his simpleton comedian girlfriend, and everyone is catching his anger. Chad Zumock, after losing his imaginary girlfriend, is bored and has brainstormed a new event for the Dabbleverse that could RUIN anything Melton and the puppet are trying to do in Atlantic City!
Scarlett Hampton is mentally ill and as dumb as they come, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t deserve to be happy. She is surrounded by people without her best interests in mind, including her friend Keanu who seems to be turning a blind eye to her living situation with an apparent chronic abuser named Matt Mead. What unfolded on a recent stream seems unhinged and building towards a nightmare scenario. Michael Ray Bower has thoughts on the Dabbleverse and seems to hint that Patrick may be the one who sent him highly illegal material.
There’s been a lot of little things going on outside of just the Karmic and Felicia drama, so let’s do a show to catch up on what’s been happening. Keanu and Geno have been spinning gold while striking channels, apparently Dick Masterson and Vito are fighting about Hackamania again, , Chadboozemock kills it with another Wet-Brained follies, and Mersh is mad at boomers or something. Come join Patrick for a show that could be anything!



