Wired Divergent: Unmasking, Confidence & Regulation for Autistic Adults

This is a 10-minute tracking practice for autistic and AuDHD adults, built for anyone who has tried somatics (noticing body sensations) or mindfulness and come out more dysregulated than when they started.If sitting down to watch your thoughts or scan your body for sensations has ever left you feeling worse, this is another way in, another way to try this out.I guide you through noticing a series of different things without deciding whether any of them is good, bad, pleasant, or unpleasant. We start somewhere other than a body sensation, because that's a hard place to read for a lot of us, and move through thoughts, sounds, energy, and a colour, scent, picture, or words. Every indicator can be external or internal, and "I don't know" (or even "whatever, Jen") is a completely valid answer throughout.CHAPTERS:0:00 Safety note and who this practice is for2:52 The practice begins7:04 Coming back to the room8:05 OutroAbout Audio and VideoThis show is available as a video on YouTube. Some audio you are hearing is taken from the video versions that are recorded outside, and why there are some changes in the microphone quality.NEURODIVERGENT RESOURCES FROM JEN:AuDHD and autistic coaching (1:1): https://jendehaan.com/Regulation Practice Library (free!): https://jendehaan.com/wired-divergent/practices/Newsletter signup: https://jendehaan.com/newslettersWired Divergent videos: https://youtube.com/@jendehaanResources and blog posts: https://jendehaan.comSupport the showWe love our podcast host Capitvate.fm! Contact to ask me anything, anytime. Sign up with Captivate here: https://www.captivate.fm/signup?ref=yzjiytzWe have our newsletters on Kit.com. Sell products, get tips, and a newsletter too. Easy, and they don't take a cut! https://partners.kit.com/ijdkivtf8nddTranscriptions by MacWhisper. I use and love the Pro version (subscription free! Local!) - you can get it too using this link: https://gumroad.com/a/20303251/ivpqkRun Coaching or Courses? Absolutely love ClarityFlow. Seriously. Ask me anything, or sign up here.AboutThis podcast was created, written, and is hosted by Jen deHaan. Jen has certifications related to healthy communities (Tufts University Friedman School of Nutrition Science and Policy), nervous system regulation, and she is a trauma-informed certified coach. She is working towards her board certified coach (BCC) credential, and has a BFA in teaching creative arts to adults. You can find her full bio here.This podcast was made in British Columbia, Canada by Jen deHaan.I respectfully acknowledge that I live and work on the unceded traditional territory of the Coast Salish peoples, and honour the homelands of the Qualicum First Nation and the Snaw-naw-as First Nation, as well as the ties of the Snuneymuxw and K'ómoks First Nations. I would like to express gratitude to these and all First Nations for their continued stewardship of these lands and waters where I create these episodes.DISCLAIMER:Wired Divergent is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or therapeutic advice. If you're in crisis or need clinical support, please reach out to a qualified professional.Crisis & Support Resources: https://jendehaan.com/mental-health-resourcesFull Disclaimer: https://jendehaan.com/disclaimerThis podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: OP3 - https://op3.dev/privacy

Autistic unmasking is a healthy thing, and it can still get you read as a jerk, intimidating, or angry when you never meant any of that. In this episode I talk about what happens when you unmask as an autistic or AuDHD adult and other people misread your intention.A lot of us hear the same words from other people. Intense. Blunt. Too direct. Intimidating. I get into how that connects to the way autistic communication actually works, what the research says about the misunderstanding, and why it shows up so much in autistic and AuDHD social life. I share a personal story about growing up knowing my brain worked like my dad's, a worry I carried for years about being a certain kind of person because of it, and a therapy conversation after he died that half-answered the question.This one is part teaching and part storytelling, for anyone doing the slow work of being more themselves around other people.WHAT YOU'LL LEARN:Why unmasking can get your intentions read as jerk, angry, or intimidatingWhat the research on autistic communication says about misunderstandingsThe therapy conversation I had about being like my dadThe intention versus impact questionHow to think about masking and unmasking as choices you get to makeCHAPTERS:0:00 Unmasking is good, and you can still be read as a jerk0:57 What this episode covers, and what unmasking really is2:28 The misreads autistic and AuDHD adults keep hitting3:54 Why autistic communication works fine with the right people6:03 The time someone told me I was intimidating7:29 Growing up knowing my brain was like my dad's10:59 The concentrating face that gets read as anger14:34 The pop psychology take on intention17:15 The choices on your unmasking journey19:56 Where to find moreAbout Audio and VideoThis show is available as a video on YouTube. Some audio you are hearing is taken from the video versions that are recorded outside, and why there are some changes in the microphone quality.NEURODIVERGENT RESOURCES FROM JEN:AuDHD and autistic coaching (1:1): https://jendehaan.com/Regulation Practice Library (free!): https://jendehaan.com/wired-divergent/practices/Newsletter signup: https://jendehaan.com/newslettersWired Divergent videos: https://youtube.com/@jendehaanResources and blog posts: https://jendehaan.comSupport the showWe love our podcast host Capitvate.fm! Contact to ask me anything, anytime. Sign up with Captivate here: https://www.captivate.fm/signup?ref=yzjiytzWe have our newsletters on Kit.com. Sell products, get tips, and a newsletter too. Easy, and they don't take a cut! https://partners.kit.com/ijdkivtf8nddTranscriptions by MacWhisper. I use and love the Pro version (subscription free! Local!) - you can get it too using this link: https://gumroad.com/a/20303251/ivpqkRun Coaching or Courses? Absolutely love ClarityFlow. Seriously. Ask me anything, or sign up here.AboutThis podcast was created, written, and is hosted by Jen deHaan. Jen has certifications related to healthy communities (Tufts University Friedman School of Nutrition Science and Policy), nervous system regulation, and she is a trauma-informed certified coach. She is working towards her board certified coach (BCC) credential, and has a BFA in teaching creative arts to adults. You can find her full bio here.This podcast was made in British Columbia, Canada by Jen deHaan.I respectfully acknowledge that I live and work on the unceded traditional territory of the Coast Salish peoples, and honour the homelands of the Qualicum First Nation and the Snaw-naw-as First Nation, as well as the ties of the Snuneymuxw and K'ómoks First Nations. I would like to express gratitude to these and all First Nations for their continued stewardship of these lands and waters where I create these episodes.DISCLAIMER:Wired Divergent is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or therapeutic advice. If you're in crisis or need clinical support, please reach out to a qualified professional.Crisis & Support Resources: https://jendehaan.com/mental-health-resourcesFull Disclaimer: https://jendehaan.com/disclaimerThis podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: OP3 - https://op3.dev/privacy

This is a 10-minute grounding reset for autistic and AuDHD adults, a follow-along practice for after a long day of masking. If you've masked all day at work, at an event, or out running errands, and you've come home depleted, in a crash or a shutdown, this practice is for that thing.I guide you through settling in and then a gentle check-in with a few places masking tends to leave tension. You can do the noticing externally or internally, whichever one you have access to, so it works whether or not you get clear signals from inside your body. There's no fixing here, just noticing what's already there, and neutral is a completely valid result. CHAPTERS:0:00 Safety note and who this practice is for2:08 The practice begins8:13 Coming back to the room9:05 OutroAbout Audio and VideoThis show is available as a video on YouTube. Some audio you are hearing is taken from the video versions that are recorded outside, and why there are some changes in the microphone quality.NEURODIVERGENT RESOURCES FROM JEN:AuDHD and autistic coaching (1:1): https://jendehaan.com/Regulation Practice Library (free!): https://jendehaan.com/wired-divergent/practices/Newsletter signup: https://jendehaan.com/newslettersWired Divergent videos: https://youtube.com/@jendehaanResources and blog posts: https://jendehaan.comSupport the showWe love our podcast host Capitvate.fm! Contact to ask me anything, anytime. Sign up with Captivate here: https://www.captivate.fm/signup?ref=yzjiytzWe have our newsletters on Kit.com. Sell products, get tips, and a newsletter too. Easy, and they don't take a cut! https://partners.kit.com/ijdkivtf8nddTranscriptions by MacWhisper. I use and love the Pro version (subscription free! Local!) - you can get it too using this link: https://gumroad.com/a/20303251/ivpqkRun Coaching or Courses? Absolutely love ClarityFlow. Seriously. Ask me anything, or sign up here.AboutThis podcast was created, written, and is hosted by Jen deHaan. Jen has certifications related to healthy communities (Tufts University Friedman School of Nutrition Science and Policy), nervous system regulation, and she is a trauma-informed certified coach. She is working towards her board certified coach (BCC) credential, and has a BFA in teaching creative arts to adults. You can find her full bio here.This podcast was made in British Columbia, Canada by Jen deHaan.I respectfully acknowledge that I live and work on the unceded traditional territory of the Coast Salish peoples, and honour the homelands of the Qualicum First Nation and the Snaw-naw-as First Nation, as well as the ties of the Snuneymuxw and K'ómoks First Nations. I would like to express gratitude to these and all First Nations for their continued stewardship of these lands and waters where I create these episodes.DISCLAIMER:Wired Divergent is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or therapeutic advice. If you're in crisis or need clinical support, please reach out to a qualified professional.Crisis & Support Resources: https://jendehaan.com/mental-health-resourcesFull Disclaimer: https://jendehaan.com/disclaimerThis podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: OP3 - https://op3.dev/privacy

I've taken a lot of courses on nervous system regulation, and most of them left out autistic and AuDHD brains with alexithymia and low interoception. And never a very clear idea about what so-called "regulation" truly even means. In this episode I talk through how I build my own "regulation" system, one that fits the way my brain actually works and doesn't involve trying to figure out what is regulated and what isn't!When neurodivergence came up in these courses at all, the model being discussed stayed the same and the activities stayed the same, so anyone with a different wiring still had to figure it out on our own (or realize their models were still harmful despite having a "neurodivergent" component).I explain what interoception and alexithymia are, and why they make a lot of standard somatic and regulation advice hard to follow. I go through the idea of a personal baseline and how you can move away from it depending on where you are and who you're with. I also cover why aiming to stay calm as much as possible might not be realistic or healthy for some of our brains. Finally, I talk about why every person's reactions and baselines are normal and specific to them, and I walk through a simple way to start building a system that fits your own needs. This is the approach I use myself, and it lines up with established models like the CRM HelpNow skills, just ... improved?... so it works for a wider range of brains.WHAT YOU'LL LEARN:Why so much standard regulation and somatics advice leaves autistic and AuDHD people outWhat you can notice even when you can't feel clear sensations in your bodyHow to work out your own baseline, and why it changes with contextWhat the goal of staying calm all the time can cost some of usHow to start building a regulation system from your own specific needsCHAPTERS:0:00 Why standard regulation and somatics courses left me out1:55 When courses mention us but change nothing5:58 What you can notice when body sensations aren't clear8:44 Why staying calm all the time might not be the goal14:05 Why everyone's reactions and baselines are normal and their own16:25 The suggestion: build a system that fits you18:29 How to actually start, one situation at a timeRESOURCES:Neurodivergent Somatics by Nyck Walsh (book) https://wwnorton.com/books/9781324082910Nyck Walsh's Neurodivergent Somatics practitioner course About Audio and VideoThis show is available as a video on YouTube. Some audio you are hearing is taken from the video versions that are recorded outside, and why there are some changes in the microphone quality.NEURODIVERGENT RESOURCES FROM JEN:AuDHD and autistic coaching (1:1): https://jendehaan.com/Regulation Practice Library (free!): https://jendehaan.com/wired-divergent/practices/Newsletter signup: https://jendehaan.com/newslettersWired Divergent videos: https://youtube.com/@jendehaanResources and blog posts: https://jendehaan.comSupport the showWe love our podcast host Capitvate.fm! Contact to ask me anything, anytime. Sign up with Captivate here: https://www.captivate.fm/signup?ref=yzjiytzWe have our newsletters on Kit.com. Sell products, get tips, and a newsletter too. Easy, and they don't take a cut! https://partners.kit.com/ijdkivtf8nddTranscriptions by MacWhisper. I use and love the Pro version (subscription free! Local!) - you can get it too using this link: https://gumroad.com/a/20303251/ivpqkRun Coaching or Courses? Absolutely love ClarityFlow. Seriously. Ask me anything, or sign up here.AboutThis podcast was created, written, and is hosted by Jen deHaan. Jen has certifications related to healthy communities (Tufts University Friedman School of Nutrition Science and Policy), nervous system regulation, and she is a trauma-informed certified coach. She is working towards her board certified coach (BCC) credential, and has a BFA in teaching creative arts to adults. You can find her full bio here.This podcast was made in British Columbia, Canada by Jen deHaan.I respectfully acknowledge that I live and work on the unceded traditional territory of the Coast Salish peoples, and honour the homelands of the Qualicum First Nation and the Snaw-naw-as First Nation, as well as the ties of the Snuneymuxw and K'ómoks First Nations. I would like to express gratitude to these and all First Nations for their continued stewardship of these lands and waters where I create these episodes.DISCLAIMER:Wired Divergent is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or therapeutic advice. If you're in crisis or need clinical support, please reach out to a qualified professional.Crisis & Support Resources: https://jendehaan.com/mental-health-resourcesFull Disclaimer: https://jendehaan.com/disclaimerThis podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: OP3 - https://op3.dev/privacy

This is a 10-minute regulation practice for autistic and AuDHD adults that uses a chosen passion as the resource. If you're generally worn down and looking for a reset, bringing your interest to mind on purpose can do some of that work for you.You don't need to be doing the interest to get something from it, so this one suits the days when you can't get to your passion, and you're welcome to hold an object from it or look at a photo on your phone while we go. It works whether your interest arrives as a clear image, a set of facts, the feeling of being deep in the activity with nothing to see, or something in between those.I also spend part of the practice on permission, since many late diagnosed autistic adults learned early on to hide how much they love their interests, and this is a thing you're allowed to love and allowed to talk about. A neutral result counts as a result, so nothing here depends on you feeling different by the end.CHAPTERS0:00 Safety note and how this practice works2:57 Settling in and starting the practice8:35 Coming back to the room9:36 OutroAbout Audio and VideoThis show is available as a video on YouTube. Some audio you are hearing is taken from the video versions that are recorded outside, and why there are some changes in the microphone quality.NEURODIVERGENT RESOURCES FROM JEN:AuDHD and autistic coaching (1:1): https://jendehaan.com/Regulation Practice Library (free!): https://jendehaan.com/wired-divergent/practices/Newsletter signup: https://jendehaan.com/newslettersWired Divergent videos: https://youtube.com/@jendehaanResources and blog posts: https://jendehaan.comSupport the showWe love our podcast host Capitvate.fm! Contact to ask me anything, anytime. Sign up with Captivate here: https://www.captivate.fm/signup?ref=yzjiytzWe have our newsletters on Kit.com. Sell products, get tips, and a newsletter too. Easy, and they don't take a cut! https://partners.kit.com/ijdkivtf8nddTranscriptions by MacWhisper. I use and love the Pro version (subscription free! Local!) - you can get it too using this link: https://gumroad.com/a/20303251/ivpqkRun Coaching or Courses? Absolutely love ClarityFlow. Seriously. Ask me anything, or sign up here.AboutThis podcast was created, written, and is hosted by Jen deHaan. Jen has certifications related to healthy communities (Tufts University Friedman School of Nutrition Science and Policy), nervous system regulation, and she is a trauma-informed certified coach. She is working towards her board certified coach (BCC) credential, and has a BFA in teaching creative arts to adults. You can find her full bio here.This podcast was made in British Columbia, Canada by Jen deHaan.I respectfully acknowledge that I live and work on the unceded traditional territory of the Coast Salish peoples, and honour the homelands of the Qualicum First Nation and the Snaw-naw-as First Nation, as well as the ties of the Snuneymuxw and K'ómoks First Nations. I would like to express gratitude to these and all First Nations for their continued stewardship of these lands and waters where I create these episodes.DISCLAIMER:Wired Divergent is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or therapeutic advice. If you're in crisis or need clinical support, please reach out to a qualified professional.Crisis & Support Resources: https://jendehaan.com/mental-health-resourcesFull Disclaimer: https://jendehaan.com/disclaimerThis podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: OP3 - https://op3.dev/privacy