Claim OwnershipClearer, not Louder with Beatrice Kamau
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Description
Clearer, Not Louder (formerly The Self Love Fix) is a podcast by Beatrice Kamau for the whimsically unserious (but serious about life!) girls, exploring discernment, the power of the voice, and what becomes possible when you learn to trust and use your own—without losing your joyfulness along the way.
In a world that encourages constant reacting, overexplaining, performing, and taking everything very seriously, this is a space for getting clearer about what's actually happening to you and around you, saying what you mean, and remaining wonderfully alive while you do it.
Each episode explores the subtle dynamics shaping our relationships, decisions, and inner lives: the moments when something feels off, when we override our God-given wisdom, when "I'll wait and see" quietly becomes self-negotiation, or when we realize it might be time to stop explaining and simply act accordingly.
Through thoughtful reflections, insightful conversations, and a sprinkle of humor throughout, Clearer, Not Louder explores what it looks like to become more discerning without becoming cynical, more principled without becoming rigid, and firmer and more powerful in your voice without losing the playful, curious, and optimistic parts of yourself.
Because growing wiser doesn't have to mean becoming harder—or less fun.
The goal isn't to be louder.
It's to be clearer.
In a world that encourages constant reacting, overexplaining, performing, and taking everything very seriously, this is a space for getting clearer about what's actually happening to you and around you, saying what you mean, and remaining wonderfully alive while you do it.
Each episode explores the subtle dynamics shaping our relationships, decisions, and inner lives: the moments when something feels off, when we override our God-given wisdom, when "I'll wait and see" quietly becomes self-negotiation, or when we realize it might be time to stop explaining and simply act accordingly.
Through thoughtful reflections, insightful conversations, and a sprinkle of humor throughout, Clearer, Not Louder explores what it looks like to become more discerning without becoming cynical, more principled without becoming rigid, and firmer and more powerful in your voice without losing the playful, curious, and optimistic parts of yourself.
Because growing wiser doesn't have to mean becoming harder—or less fun.
The goal isn't to be louder.
It's to be clearer.
271 Episodes
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In this episode, we explore how to express a boundary without feeling controlling, rude, or as though you’re being “too much.” In Part Two of The Loudest Boundaries Are Unspoken, we chat about managing your attention as a form of boundary—and how people can learn what you are and are not available for without you having to spell everything out-- or say much at all.
What you’ll learn in this episode:
The difference between trying to control someone else’s behavior and deciding where your own attention will and will not go.
What to do when you want OUT of a conversation and someone continues talking ON and ON—even after you've given EVERY body cue imaginable
How to decline participation in gossip without delivering a speech, overexplaining yourself, or making the moment more dramatic than it needs to be.
IG: @clearernotlouder
In this episode, we explore the boundaries people can FEEL—the kind that indirectly let people know how to treat you without you having to bark instructions at them. This conversation is especially for the girl who already knows when someone has made her uncomfortable but feels squirmy and uncomfy about calling it out bluntly or directly.
What you'll learn in this episode: The difference between traditional "vocal" boundaries and the boundaries people pick up on without being explicitly told—the kind that make someone think, "For some reason, I better not speak like that around her. Let me adjust myself."
The three subtle cues we all give that people pick up on when determining how carefully and thoughtfully to treat us.
What it can look like to respond to an insult when directness doesn't come naturally to you—no more giggling to make things less awkward, by the way!
IG: @clearernotlouder
In this episode, we explore what it looks like to make friends in adulthood as an ambitious woman—from getting past the beliefs that make putting yourself out there feel harder than it needs to, to finding people who are actually OPEN to connection. We also chat why ambitious women need ambitious friends, beginning again after friendship loss, and a few things I learned from my experience at the Create & Cultivate Festival.
What you'll learn in this episode: The two beliefs that quietly make adult friendship HARDER than it needs to be: that putting yourself out there is a humiliation ritual (it's not!), and that everyone is on a no new friends vibe (they're not)
Tangible ways to meet and genuinely connect with people—even if you're introverted (i've got 7 for ya!)
How to dust yourself off and try again when a potential friendship fizzles and you feel discouraged about trying again.
IG: @clearernotlouder
In this episode we explore how to remain your warm, kind, and whimsical self while being clear and direct (you can be both!). We also discuss why being clear doesn't mean telling people what they can and cannot do and how to be clear and direct sans the fear of being rude, blunt, or "mean."
What you'll learn in this episode: The difference between being clear and being controlling—and why they two are NOT actually related
How to free yourself from the responsibility of how someone processes your directness
How to communicate what you want, what you're available for, and what you will do next while leaving other people responsible for their own choices.
IG: @clearernotlouder
***PSST, NO EPISODE NEXT WEEK SEPTEMBER 10, WE WILL BE BACK SEPTEMBER 17 IN LIGHT OF LABOR DAY***
In this episode, we chat: Why being comfortable and confident setting boundaries with other people might start with getting better at telling yourself no—and what your day-to-day choices can teach you about saying no when letting things slide, minimizing the severity of an issue, or simply going along with it feels like... the easier option.
What you'll learn in this episode:
Why setting boundaries is about more than knowing what to say—and how the way you manage your impulses and emotions in everyday life can show up, positively or negatively, in the boundaries you set with others.
What it looks like to tell yourself no when yes is still an option, and why being able to do something doesn't always mean it's in your best interest to do it.
How to actually begin building the muscle to hold boundaries with others without the guilt, mind-spiraling, and preoccupation with how they will receive what you say.
Book recommendation mentioned: Nonviolent Communication by Marshall B. Rosenberg, PhD
IG: @clearernotlouder
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