Life With Grief Podcast | Grief Support Podcast

Has anyone ever told you “at least she’s still here” while you were quietly losing her, piece by piece, right in front of you? In this episode, I sit down with Caroline Shelby, founder of Grief Clarity Labs and author of Living Beside the Leaving. Caroline lost her godmother, the family dog, a dear college friend, and her mom, Linda, to Alzheimer’s all in 2024, after more than 10 years as a caregiver alongside her sisters. We talk about anticipatory grief, the grief that shows up long before a death, and what life looks like when caregiving suddenly ends and you’re left wondering who you are now. In this conversation, we cover: What anticipatory grief is How compounding grief feels when four losses land in a single year What it’s like to grieve a parent who is still alive The guilt of moving a parent into memory care How to cope while you’re still caregiving Why it’s okay to put your grief down for a minute Why pet loss and friend loss deserve to be grieved How Caroline started Grief Clarity Labs just six months after losing her mom How your identity shifts after loss Two simple mindset shifts for anyone in the thick of anticipatory grief If you’re in the middle of caregiving, watching someone you love decline, or feeling lost now that the caregiving has ended, I hope this conversation reminds you that you are not alone. Connect with Caroline: https://www.griefclaritylabs.com/ https://www.instagram.com/griefclaritylabs/ 00:00 Welcoming Caroline 01:58 Caroline Losses and Calling 03:48 Compounding Grief Day to Day 09:59 Healthy Outlets and Letting Grief Out 17:05 Bereavement Leave and Workplace Gaps 19:24 Caregiving Alzheimer’s and Anticipatory Grief 22:00 Guilt Role Reversal and Memory Care Decision 27:51 Pop Culture and Empathy 29:39 Turning Grief Into Work 36:16 Identity Shifts After Loss 41:49 Advice for Anticipatory Grief 46:26 Where to Find Grief Clarity Labs Connect with me: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lossesbecomegains/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lifewithgriefpodcast/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/losses.become.gains Website: https://lossesbecomegains.com/ Letters of Light: https://lossesbecomegains.com/letters Life Beyond Grief Substack: https://taraaccardo.substack.com/ Shop the LBG Daily Journal: https://lossesbecomegains.com/journal Support the podcast: https://buymeacoffee.com/lifewithgriefpodcastBy accessing this Podcast, I acknowledge that the entire contents are the property of Tara Accardo, or used by Tara Accardo with permission. Except as otherwise provided herein, users of this Podcast may save and use information contained in the Podcast only for personal or other non-commercial, educational purposes. No other use, including—without limitation—reproduction, retransmission or editing of this Podcast may be made without the prior written permission of Tara Accardo, which may be requested by contacting [email protected] podcast is for educational purposes only. This podcast is not intended to be a substitute for any necessary therapy or counseling to address deeper, past-focused traumas. We don’t attempt to give answers, fix, diagnose, or treat grief. The host claims no responsibility to any person or entity for any liability, loss, or damage caused or alleged to be caused directly or indirectly as a result of the use, application, or interpretation of the information presented herein. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this episode, I’m answering a question I hear from grievers constantly: why does grief make even the smallest decisions feel overwhelming? Short answer: grief is a major stressor on your brain and body, and it leaves far less mental energy for everyday choices. I’m breaking down what’s going on and sharing small, gentle ways to feel steadier with decisions again. We dig into: Why simple choices like what to eat, what to wear, or how to answer a text can feel impossible after a loss What “grief brain” is and how stress, mental overload, and decision fatigue play a part How losing a decision-making partner, a plan, or a piece of your identity makes choosing harder Why you may not trust yourself to decide right now, and why that makes sense Nine small, practical ways to rebuild decision-making confidence, from shrinking the decision to setting a five-minute timer How to know when a big decision can wait, and when to lean on someone you trust How to talk to yourself with more compassion when you freeze If everyday decisions feel huge right now, I want you to know you’re not broken, you’re not alone, and this won’t last forever. Press play and let’s make sense of it together! 00:00 Welcome to Life With Grief 01:02 How Grief Disrupts Decisions 03:36 The Science Behind Grief and Decision Making 04:35 Grief Stress Response and Brain Fog 06:50 Grief Decision Fatigue 09:28 Identity Shifts After Loss 11:14 Gentle Tools to Decide Again 25:50 Practice Small Wins 27:40 Rebuilding Trust and Your Voice Connect with me: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lossesbecomegains/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lifewithgriefpodcast/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/losses.become.gains Website: https://lossesbecomegains.com/ Letters of Light: https://lossesbecomegains.com/letters Life Beyond Grief Substack: https://taraaccardo.substack.com/ Shop the LBG Daily Journal: https://lossesbecomegains.com/journal Support the podcast: https://buymeacoffee.com/lifewithgriefpodcastBy accessing this Podcast, I acknowledge that the entire contents are the property of Tara Accardo, or used by Tara Accardo with permission. Except as otherwise provided herein, users of this Podcast may save and use information contained in the Podcast only for personal or other non-commercial, educational purposes. No other use, including—without limitation—reproduction, retransmission or editing of this Podcast may be made without the prior written permission of Tara Accardo, which may be requested by contacting [email protected] podcast is for educational purposes only. This podcast is not intended to be a substitute for any necessary therapy or counseling to address deeper, past-focused traumas. We don’t attempt to give answers, fix, diagnose, or treat grief. The host claims no responsibility to any person or entity for any liability, loss, or damage caused or alleged to be caused directly or indirectly as a result of the use, application, or interpretation of the information presented herein. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

What happens to your grief when the person you lost is still alive, and when the whole world knows who they are? I’ve spoken with so many people about grief after death, divorce, estrangement, and the loss of a life they thought they were living. But I had never sat across from two people with an experience quite like this one. In today’s episode, I’m joined by Melissa Moore, whose father (Keith Jesperson) was arrested in 1995 and became known as the Happy Face Killer, and her writing partner and friend, award-winning editor Michele Matrisciani. Together they wrote Killer in the Family, a book that goes far beyond true crime to explore what the families of killers actually go through: the shame, the media storm, the fractured memories, and the grief that almost nobody names. In this conversation, we talk about: How she lost her dad the day he became “the Happy Face Killer” How the loss of someone’s identity is its own form of grief Why Melissa and Michele say the “before and after” is universal for every griever, What Killer in the Family includes: nine families, nine perspectives What it’s like to have the media show up on your doorstep with no playbook, no privacy, and strangers writing your story for you How families can grieve the same loss in completely different ways The delicate balance of honoring your own grieving process without hurting the victims’ families How Melissa and Michele both lost a parent during the six years of writing and interviewing Melissa’s experience meeting the son of one of her father’s victim The ethics of true crime documentaries and podcasts Killer in the Family is out now wherever books are sold, and you can connect with Melissa at https://www.instagram.com/melissag.moore. Connect with me: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lossesbecomegains/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lifewithgriefpodcast/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/losses.become.gains Website: https://lossesbecomegains.com/ Letters of Light: https://lossesbecomegains.com/letters Life Beyond Grief Substack: https://taraaccardo.substack.com/ Shop the LBG Daily Journal: https://lossesbecomegains.com/journal Support the podcast: https://buymeacoffee.com/lifewithgriefpodcastBy accessing this Podcast, I acknowledge that the entire contents are the property of Tara Accardo, or used by Tara Accardo with permission. Except as otherwise provided herein, users of this Podcast may save and use information contained in the Podcast only for personal or other non-commercial, educational purposes. No other use, including—without limitation—reproduction, retransmission or editing of this Podcast may be made without the prior written permission of Tara Accardo, which may be requested by contacting [email protected] podcast is for educational purposes only. This podcast is not intended to be a substitute for any necessary therapy or counseling to address deeper, past-focused traumas. We don’t attempt to give answers, fix, diagnose, or treat grief. The host claims no responsibility to any person or entity for any liability, loss, or damage caused or alleged to be caused directly or indirectly as a result of the use, application, or interpretation of the information presented herein. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

What happens when the floor drops out from under you, and then it keeps dropping? Dana Killian knows that question in her bones, and I am so grateful she sat down with me to talk about it honestly. In this episode I’m joined by Dana, an author and trauma-recovery voice who lived through a devastating eight-year stretch of loss: discovering her alcoholic husband’s secret double life, losing her mother to pancreatic cancer, divorcing, caring for her father until he died, moving across the country where she knew no one, and losing her oldest son, Alex, to a fentanyl overdose. We talk about grieving a marriage, a parent, and a child, and how to keep a wound from becoming lifelong suffering. We dig into: Why grieving a betrayal or the end of a relationship is a real loss How to process the question “Was our love real?” when someone you trusted lived a double life What Dana calls the “story of why” and how to use it to find closure Why creating a story of why isn’t lying to yourself How laughing at the absurdity of life can be a healthy coping tool in grief Grieving two parents years apart, and why each loss can feel completely different What it’s like to caregive for a parent while your own life is falling apart Starting over in a new city where you know no one after multiple losses Losing an adult child to fentanyl The nightly mantra that became Dana’s first step toward healing Dana’s tough-love message for anyone letting the past run the present Dana’s book, Becoming Unbreakable: A Big Sister’s Guide to Trauma If you’ve ever felt like your grief doesn’t fit neatly into one box, or you’ve been waiting for time to do the work for you, I hope this conversation meets you right where you are. You are not stuck, you are not behind, and you are so not alone. Connect with Dana Website: https://www.danakillion.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dana_killion_author/ 00:00 Welcome Dana to Life With Grief 01:25 Eight Years of Loss 03:51 Discovering the Secret Life 08:06 Finding Identity After Betrayal 21:34 Parents Timeline and Caregiving 25:05 Numbness and Isolation 31:33 Divorce and Relocation 34:19 Losing Alex to Fentanyl 38:26 Identity and Inner Work 41:15 Breaking the Suffering Loop 51:03 Tough Love and Closure 52:47 Becoming Unbreakable Book Connect with me: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lossesbecomegains/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lifewithgriefpodcast/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/losses.become.gains Website: https://lossesbecomegains.com/ Letters of Light: https://lossesbecomegains.com/letters Life Beyond Grief Substack: https://taraaccardo.substack.com/ Shop the LBG Daily Journal: https://lossesbecomegains.com/journal Support the podcast: https://buymeacoffee.com/lifewithgriefpodcastBy accessing this Podcast, I acknowledge that the entire contents are the property of Tara Accardo, or used by Tara Accardo with permission. Except as otherwise provided herein, users of this Podcast may save and use information contained in the Podcast only for personal or other non-commercial, educational purposes. No other use, including—without limitation—reproduction, retransmission or editing of this Podcast may be made without the prior written permission of Tara Accardo, which may be requested by contacting [email protected] podcast is for educational purposes only. This podcast is not intended to be a substitute for any necessary therapy or counseling to address deeper, past-focused traumas. We don’t attempt to give answers, fix, diagnose, or treat grief. The host claims no responsibility to any person or entity for any liability, loss, or damage caused or alleged to be caused directly or indirectly as a result of the use, application, or interpretation of the information presented herein. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Here’s something nobody warns you about: somewhere down the road after loss, the unknown (and the uncertainty that comes with it) might not scare you the way it used to. And you might not know what to do with that. In this Mourning Sips & Soul Shifts episode, I’m talking about how grief and loss change the way you handle the unknown, and why so many of us end up more comfortable with uncertainty after loss. This conversation was inspired by a voice note exchange with my friend and fellow grief coach, Nicci Scimone. We both lost our dads, and we realized that those of us who know grief also know discomfort, unwanted change, and not knowing what comes next. I’m six years out from losing my parents, so I’m also getting real about how awful the unknown felt in the beginning, and why you don’t have to feel strong or comfortable yet. In this episode, I’m sharing: Why people who know loss often become more adaptable, and how grief works your resilience muscle How bracing for losses we see coming forces us to plan for the unknown, and why unexpected losses carry their own complex uncertainty Why adaptability is never a “reward” for loss What to hold onto if you’re in the early days of grief and the unknown feels terrifying Four perspective shifts for living with uncertainty after loss Five reflective questions you can journal on, voice note to a friend, or think about on your next drive If you’ve ever thought “I don’t know how I got through that,” this one’s for you. You may be more equipped to handle the unknown than you think. Press play, and then share this with someone who knows loss too. 00:00 Welcome to Life With Grief 00:54 Grief and Discomfort 01:28 Resilience Through Loss 05:51 Time and Perspective 08:05 Why There Are No Silver Linings 09:57 Mindset Shift One 12:35 Mindset Shifts Two and Three 16:20 Reflective Questions Connect with me: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lossesbecomegains/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lifewithgriefpodcast/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/losses.become.gains Website: https://lossesbecomegains.com/ Letters of Light: https://lossesbecomegains.com/letters Life Beyond Grief Substack: https://taraaccardo.substack.com/ Shop the LBG Daily Journal: https://lossesbecomegains.com/journal Support the podcast: https://buymeacoffee.com/lifewithgriefpodcastBy accessing this Podcast, I acknowledge that the entire contents are the property of Tara Accardo, or used by Tara Accardo with permission. Except as otherwise provided herein, users of this Podcast may save and use information contained in the Podcast only for personal or other non-commercial, educational purposes. No other use, including—without limitation—reproduction, retransmission or editing of this Podcast may be made without the prior written permission of Tara Accardo, which may be requested by contacting [email protected] podcast is for educational purposes only. This podcast is not intended to be a substitute for any necessary therapy or counseling to address deeper, past-focused traumas. We don’t attempt to give answers, fix, diagnose, or treat grief. The host claims no responsibility to any person or entity for any liability, loss, or damage caused or alleged to be caused directly or indirectly as a result of the use, application, or interpretation of the information presented herein. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.