Cthulhu on Parade!

Yes, the rumours were true! Two weeks ago, the Wretched Beast, Stephen, and their friends (of the show) Will M, JJ Hawkins (@JJHawkins on Twitter) and Aaron Fever (@AaronFever) joined together with a dark purpose: to play the roleplaying game Call of Cthulhu. In this session, we attend an auction, and board a train! Featuring: The Wretched Beast as Games Master Stephen as Beauford Loren-Smith, hot-blooded dilettante. Aaron Fever as Arthur Francis Allen, grumpy scholar of the occult. JJ Hawkins as Rebecca Church, stoic private investigator. Will M as Ingrid Hamm, artist with shady connections. Theme music: Kaissa (Karpov Not Kasparov) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0

Join us in fright this Hallowe'en season as we take our first foray into the terrifying depths of an unfamiliar RPG system - Trail of Cthulhu! Specifically, with the scenario "Dr. Grave Dust" from the book Shadows Over Filmland. I was a little tired when running this one. Are the results too on-rails, or simply off the rails? You decide! Also, Al (@PrimitiveManPrd) from The Film Room Podcast (@FilmRoomCast) was on this episode! We literally immediately spoil last Halloween's Wrong Turn/Guestpocalypse episodes, so uh, watch out for that. Part two coming soon! Featuring: Will B as Game Master Al as Sebastian Church, debonair gentleman thief with an eye for adventure. Sam as Sylvia Paris, armed and extremely dangerous private eye. Stephen as Dr. Alex Laborie, a distinguished man of medicine. Will M as Daphne "Igor" Valentino, author of a cult hit series of novels. Theme music: Teenagers Battle The Thing (Various Artists [Chinstrap Music]) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0

It's grim up north as we brave the fierce colds, biting winds and salty sea air to fetch you another exciting episode of Cthulhu on Parade! This time, we played the Fiasco playset known as "Last Frontier" (available here: http://fiascoplaysets.com/home/last-frontier). It was a good time! For reference, "Trent Reznor" is a musician from the band "Nine Inch Nails". Thanks. Featuring: Will M as Daryl Stogely, a mysterious yet ornery hermit and man of the sea. Will B as Jack Bowwer, member of the boat crew cursed with terrible gifts. Sam as Karen, member of the boat crew emerging from the wreckage of a failed relationship. Plus, some other characters! Theme music: Lady Allright (David Szesztay) / CC BY-NC 3.0

A scant ten months (or so) since our last adventure, we're back with an all-new Fiasco episode! It's trouble by the Thames as we play "Gangster London" (available here: http://bullypulpitgames.com/fiasco-companion-gangster-london-writers-edition/). In this episode, we push timeline stability to the limit, and do a bunch of accents of varying quality, including several celebrity voices! Can -you- tell who we're trying to be, or what we're trying to say? Good luck, and enjoy! Featuring: Will B as Gary Nichols, loving husband and secretive businessman. Also, Ace Wellman - and more! Stephen as Jonathan Wellman, a sous-chef with a troubled family. Also, Liz "Leslie" Nichols - and more! Will M as Neville Wilkinson, ambitious restaurant pioneer with a dark secret. Also, Ace Wellman (same one) - and more! Just how many more? Listen to find out! Theme music: Coffee Shop (David Szesztay) / CC BY-NC 3.0

We return to playing "Wrong Turn" from Cthulhu Britannica in this all-new episode! Questions are answered, secrets are revealed! Introductions are made sooner and the game starts practically immediately! By all measures, a true Cthulhu on Parade Classic Episode. Enjoy, and Happy Hallowe'en! Or, other holidays, depending on when you listen to this. INFO UPDATE: Al (@PrimitiveManPrd) from The Film Room Podcast (@FilmRoomCast on Twitter, and check it out here) JJ Hawkins (@JJHawkins) of Mars Needs Podcasts fame (and a couple others over at www.TheWebsiteOfDoom.com and beyond) Oh, and introducing Stephen. Again. Featuring: Will B as Keeper of Arcane Lore. Al as Trevor Green, audiovisual engineer and consummate professional. JJ as Simon Court, producer with a high self-image and a new lease on life. Stephen as Michael Vince, new junior technician and amateur scriptwriter. Will M as Katherine Belmarsh, sent from Head Office to check on the team. Theme music is Burn by Room For A Ghost (http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Room_For_A_Ghost/3_Song_EP/room_for_a_ghost_-__burn)

Yes, in this exciting Hallowe'en Spooktacular/Guestpocalypse edition of the podcast, we return to regale you with much talk of the X-Men (and general Marvel characters), a bold re-imagining of Waiting for Godot as Will M fails to show up, and another guest's bad internet connection results in their banishment to the wasteland (but which one? listen to find out!). We also make a bunch of inside references and talk much of how the sausage is made, podcast-wise. And also, in a manner of spooking, how the dirty pyramid is made as well. Oh, did I mention that we played the scenario "Wrong Turn" from Cthulhu Britannica? Well, we did. This one's a two-parter, so expect the gripping finale soon! Featuring: Will B as Keeper of Arcane Lore. Al as Trevor Green, audiovisual engineer and consummate professional. JJ as Simon Court, producer with a high self-image. Jon as Daniel "Danny" Morris, sound engineer and a man with much to say. Stephen as Michael Vince, new junior technician and amateur scriptwriter. Theme music is Burn by Room For A Ghost (http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Room_For_A_Ghost/3_Song_EP/room_for_a_ghost_-__burn)

Into every generation, an episode of Cthulhu on Parade! is born. Will you pass on the legacy to your own children someday? Perhaps, in the meantime, we may discuss such things as the endless nature of time. Were one to become unstuck in it, what actions would one take? In this frightening grounded episode, we explore the effects of temporal traversal on three brave souls, each hoping that the next leap will be the one that takes them home at last. Also, Will M guest-edited this episode. Oh, wait, and did I mention that this entire thing is a game that our very own Sam made? I guess I didn't, and I know that I didn't, and were I to become unstuck in time, I would surely hope to travel back to the moments before writing this and set right this terrible wrong. But, alas, we must move ever onward in time, and look only to the fantastic fiction of these three strange sojourners, wondering what we would will to existence in their place. Featuring: Sam as GM Stephen as Thomas “Tommy” Quartermaine Chisum, slick-haired, smooth talkin' 50s greaser with an eye on the ladies. Will B as Chester McHaverton, driven former TV personality, erstwhile animal expert (for tigers). Will M as Reginald Foxtington, a very old man with a very young outlook (that is not averse to misdemeanors).

What does the Cthulhu on Parade crew think World War II was like? What do they think venereal diseases are? What accent is anyone doing? None of these questions are answered in today's Fiasco playset: Lucky Strike (available here: http://www.bullypulpitgames.com/wiki/index.php?title=Lucky_Strike). Of note: the term “repple depple” is introduced and found tragically unfunny, Sam gets to add “does rat voices” to her resume and Will rises from the grave. This episode guest-edited by Will M. Also, he wrote this! Well, I wrote this bit acknowledging him. Hi everyone, I'm Will B. How're you doing? You look great, by the way. Is that a new haircut? I love it. Featuring: Stephen as Anthony Tromba, Quarter Master leaving no quarters unmastered. Will B as Red Smoulders, Lifting Weights and loving America. Will M as Martin “D'agony” D'agnieuw, returning character? Sam as Annie Deutschelover, Squire of Sources. Theme Music: “Prince Eugene March” by Bruno Antonio Buike (https://www.jamendo.com/en/track/1033893/prince-eugene-march-bbwv6) Licensed under Creative Commons https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/3.0/

Dance once more upon the stars of madness with our heroic paragons of sleuthery! With strange visitors approaching, are our disastrous duo up to the task of detaining old man Harney Rooger? Will they even make it off the mountain alive? Also, what's a sanity roll? This episode, like the last, was guest-edited by Stephen, so I can only apologise for the extended pre-game chat that has been left in for your listening pleasure. However, it's pretty good pre-game chat, you guys. Okay bye. Featuring: Will B as Keeper of Arcane Lore. Stephen as Deputy Robert Mayor, a detective of extreme verisimilitude. Will M as Officer Opie Plum, who works together with Deputy Mayor, knowing him extremely well, including his name. Theme Music by... Will M?

For many years, mankind has believed itself to be the dominant form of life on the planet, but no more! Yes, on this day in the 1920s (sometime) a shocking revelation was made! In the course of a routine investigation, two cops stumble upon a mysterious happening in a rural locale, but this time, there's teens! And the police work is stellar. INTERSTELLAR? I'm saying that maybe the things involved could be to do with space. I dunno it's a real secret unless you read the name of the episode or the Call of Cthulhu rulebook at any point, but we put a few new spins on the old classic, such as incompetence. Also I called out an iTunes review I was annoyed about, because that's the kind of egomaniac I've become. Featuring: Will B as Keeper of Arcane Lore. Stephen as Deputy Robert Mayor, a detective of extreme verisimilitude. Will M as Officer Opie Plum, who works together with Deputy Mayor, knowing him extremely well, including his name. Theme Music by, uh, original composition by us. Special thanks to LMFAO.

Gentle listeners, allow me to introduce to you another episode of the podcast you have grown to listen to perhaps these many years, perhaps just recently. Maybe this is your first time listening. Or maybe you'll skip this one, in which case, I thank you for your patience in reading this. But suppose you -don't- skip this episode. Suppose, instead, you were to download it, or stream it online? Or purchase it on CD in one of your popular record stores? What could one hope to hear in such an episode as this? Set aside your fears for the future. In this tale, we examine the lives of three promising (sorta) students at an established wizarding school/business college in London, where dark forces are amassing, and there's a shady-looking potions teacher, but it's entirely legally distinct from any other school of a similar nature because it's also a business college and it's called Hogwash. Also there's a bit that I cut from the beginning where I made a mildly offensive attempt at humour which you shall never be permitted to hear, but kinda sets up a whole thing throughout the episode, so... Enjoy that? Anyway, the main good thing is that Sam came back for this so it's great, also secondly we apologize for some audio issues regarding that. Alright, now, enjoy the... Enjoy the episode, I guess? Bye! Featuring: Sam as Alex Lake, emo-haired loner and a rebel without a cause. A whiz kid. Stephen as Ronnie the Bear, technically inept whiz kid with one eye trained on the almighty dollar/pound. Will B as Thomas Quincy Jones, the whiz kid of the bunch, with a future in business. Or magic. Or magic business. Theme Music is Gaslamp Funworks by Kevin MacLeod (http://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1100826)

Book your tickets! A brand new episode of Cthulhu on Parade has risen from the depths to challenge your entire philosophy on update schedules, a bold new artform only matched by the sheer talent on display by our glorious heroes. Yes, the rumours are true and this episode features a brand new player never-before-heard on this podcast. Who will it be? Why, the only way to find out is to listen! Or, scroll down and see on the featuring list I guess. But what will they sound like? So anyway in this episode we played Transatlantic, a Fiasco playset, and referenced Too Many Cooks a lot, to the extent where within a month (this episode was recorded a month ago almost exactly) some things may feel outdated. But also, it's kinda like Titanic? And that's a timeless classic/historical event. My point is that there's layers here. Also it's pretty funny. So, listen to it maybe? This episode was edited by Stephen. Featuring: Sarah as Anastasia Steele, a bold young woman with revenge on her horizon. Stephen as Steven Popkes/Poptarts, steward on the rise, a dangerous man. Will B as Betty Winchester, heiress to an unbelievable fortune. Will M as Daniel Day-Lewis (no relation), a steward with a treacherous past. Theme Music is Row Your Boat by i2b (http://ccmixter.org/files/i2b5k0/31655)

Join us this evening on a four-and-a-quarter hour journey into the soul of man. When colluding forces bring together a band of misfits (eventually, because for the first while it's kinda hard to get them into a room together due to poor planning on my part) – what fine discoveries shall they make in a bold new archaeological dig, which is definitely very interesting? Everyone's talking about this hill. This hill with weird earthworks? You – you gotta listen, man. This hill. You've never heard anything like it. There's all kinds of historical artefacts getting uncovered. And our bold adventurers are gonna uncover them, and – and take a look at them, and like, take a couple guesses as to what might be going on. Then they're gonna go get drunk. All for two pounds a day! This episode is an extra-special GUESTRAVAGANZA, with special guests such as Austin & Al from The Film Room Podcast (@FilmRoomCast on Twitter, and check it out at http://thefilmroom.podbean.com/) to say nothing of returning champion JJ Hawkins (@JJHawkins) of Mars Needs Podcasts fame (and a couple others over at http://www.TheWebsiteOfDoom.com) – and last but not least, a very special guest appearance from a loudly whining dog for much of the last hour, for which I can only apologize. Now get on your listening boots and hear the earth shake, for the newest ever episode of Cthulhu on Parade! (We played The Writhing Hill, from Cthulhu Britannica: Folklore) Oh! I almost forgot to mention, this episode features a staggering lack of knowledge on my part about the geography of basically anything. Uh, sorry? Featuring: Will B as Keeper of Arcane Lore. Al as Garry Trudeau, local law enforcement. No relation. Well, maybe some I guess? Austin as Andrew Whitchurch, professional labourer, if you can dig that. He can. JJ as Marcus Cole, archaeologist with a passion for music. Stephen as Professor James T. Samson, a learned man, well-versed in all manner of Ancient History. Will M as Aubrey Fortescue, who knows a bunch about folklore. Theme Music is The Descent by Kevin MacLeod (http://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1200094)

At last! At long last, we come to the end of our journey in this, the final episode of Mansion of Madness, and the closing of the current cycle of the WADS Detective Saga. With our investigators buried deep into the mystery of Ezekiel Crater's coastal mansion, and their brave officers lost, what shall become of them? And perhaps more importantly, what shall become of the dark stone? As our fearless heroes tread further into the dark night, stuff gets pretty gross this episode, I am not gonna lie. Like, this episode has some pretty grim stuff in it. So, fair warning! Nevertheless, we hope you enjoy. Featuring: Will B as Keeper of Arcane Lore. Adam as Deputy Eli Jackson, hard-working family man who keeps things simple. Stephen as Joseph Channel, war-weary handyman and all-around rough diamond. Will M as Martin D’agnieu, paranormal specialist and wounded war-veteran. Theme Music is Awkward Meeting by Kevin Macleod (http://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1100574)

Our rugged adventurers deal with the fall-out of recent events at the prison, and after tense negotiations, head off in search of mob boss Crater, delving deep into the lion's den of Boston. With the town in chaos, will our heroes be able to restore order? Then, also, some Matrix goofs. Featuring: Will B as Keeper of Arcane Lore. Adam as Deputy Eli Jackson, hard-working family man who keeps things simple, and as as Officer Mark "Butterfly Mark" Mackenzie. Stephen as Joseph Channel, war-weary handyman and all-around rough diamond, and as Detective Moustache "Elliot Ness" Thomas. Will M as Martin D’agnieu, paranormal specialist and wounded war-veteran. Theme Music is Awkward Meeting by Kevin Macleod (http://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1100574)

Well hello again, dear listeners! Yes, we have returned once more from the void to grant you an audience with your eternal band of heroes, this time their spirits darkened by terrible loss. In this time of displaced hearts and new environs, what make of ally shall our so-called protagonists find in these times of hardship? Their desperation forces them to forge bold new relationships with enterprising members of society, but for good or ill? And whatever happened to the cops last session? Featuring: Will B as Keeper of Arcane Lore. Adam as Deputy Eli Jackson, hard-working family man who keeps things simple. Stephen as Joseph Channel, war-weary handyman and all-around rough diamond. Will M as Martin D’agnieu, paranormal specialist and wounded war-veteran. Theme Music is Awkward Meeting by Kevin Macleod (http://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1100574)

Hark! For the cries of destiny are upon you! Once more, the depths of time have been plunged sharply into by the wilful hands of your masterful players, and a tale of dark wretched horror has been birthed unto the night of this new age. Yes, another episode of Cthulhu on Parade's ongoing WADS Detective Saga has come to pass! And yours is the lot of the listener, to traverse these gloomy depths once more as a searcher for truth in the mists. As our heroes explore Pennsylvania, what strange misdeeds shall they uncover? Or, alternatively, what strange misdeeds shall they perpetrate? The stage is set, the senses are heightened, the doors are creaked open, and also at some point fault is found with your benevolent host's past as a player, for which I can only apologize. There's also a brief bit of singing at various points and rap songs are confused for other rap songs. We're human beings. Hope you enjoy, and sorry for the lateness! Featuring: Will B as Keeper of Arcane Lore. Adam as A(a)ron Abra(ha)ms, old-fashioned detective with a nose for clues. Stephen as Joseph Channel, war-weary handyman and all-around rough diamond. Will M as Martin D’agnieu, paranormal specialist and wounded war-veteran. Theme Music is Awkward Meeting by Kevin Macleod (http://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1100574)

Fear not, dear listeners! All your favourite digressions are left intact in this very special episode of Cthulhu on Parade! We come to terms over the recent events and establish that Things Are Weird for the WADS Detective Agency. Resources are gathered and stones are unturned. Meetings are held! Breakfast is eaten! Supernatural times! Plus, witness an electrician's powerful struggle to finish the job he was hired to do! Stay tuned after the episode for a little more on how the sausage gets made. Featuring: Will B as Keeper of Arcane Lore. Adam as A(a)ron Abra(ha)ms, old-fashioned detective with a nose for clues. Stephen as Roger Cross, publicly addicted private dick, and Joseph Channel, war-weary handyman and all-around rough diamond. Will M as Martin D’agnieu, paranormal specialist and wounded war-veteran. Theme Music is Awkward Meeting by Kevin Macleod (http://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1100574)

In this episode of Cthulhu on Parade, our desperate trio forges boldly onwards towards an encounter with the mythical ganglord, Zeke Crater! Will he be willing to divulge his terrible secrets? Or... Not? Time will tell! Your humble host apologizes for the delay in this episode's release. So let's roll onwards and make this thing happen. Also, after the game, a little discussion on some other stuff we've done in other episodes. Featuring: Will B as Keeper of Arcane Lore. Adam as A(a)ron Abra(ha)ms, old-fashioned detective with a nose for clues. Stephen as Noah Worth, reformed small-time crook and general miscreant. Will M as Martin D’agnieu, paranormal specialist and wounded war-veteran. Theme Music is Awkward Meeting by Kevin Macleod (http://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1100574)

When young Andrew Keetling disappears into the Boston landscape, who will step up to the plate and stick out their neck for the little man? Or just kinda go after him in the hopes that he'll be able to point them in the direction of a rock so they can get a wizard off their back? Well, the WADS Detective Agency are such a group! Witness their daring and decisive actions as they traipse across a world gone mad, finding friend and foe in their further investigations. When danger calls, they answer! Also I left a lot of stuff in this episode so hopefully it's not too distracting. Featuring: Will B as Keeper of Arcane Lore. Adam as A(a)ron Abra(ha)ms, old-fashioned detective with a nose for clues. Stephen as Noah Worth, reformed small-time crook and general miscreant. Will M as Martin D’agnieu, paranormal specialist and wounded war-veteran. Theme Music is Awkward Meeting by Kevin Macleod (http://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1100574)