900 Things I Hate

Grab your shopping cart and load it up with chocolate-flavored potatoes to replenish your snack collection. Then, head to the bakery section to pick up some fresh Nerds Ropes, and get some radioactive crayons from the Back To School section. Save some money and sniff some cardboard instead of buying a pizza, and ask someone else’s Grandma where to find the hard candy aisle. Hosted by Daylen Turk, Shelby Turk, Neva Gregory and Wyatt Gregory, featuring Beau Willis.Intro/ outro music is 900 Convertible by Duke Hugh, used under Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-Noderivitives Licensinghttps://freemusicarchive.org/music/Duke_Hugh/Beattape_Summer_2010/duke_hugh_-_beattape_summer_2010_-_05_900_convertible

This episode will make you fall out of your seat. Not because of laughter, just because the springs in your chair are unionizing for better pay. Hide the evidence of smoothie cannibalism before the cops show up to arrest you for selling zebras on the dark web. Grab a mattress and a few friends if you want to join the very exclusive 900 Things I Hate fraternity coming soon, where you’ll get fake parents even better than the ones you had. Our mascot is a sea cucumber. Also, who ordered this burrito?Intro/ outro music is 900 Convertible by Duke Hugh, used under Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-Noderivitives Licensinghttps://freemusicarchive.org/music/Duke_Hugh/Beattape_Summer_2010/duke_hugh_-_beattape_summer_2010_-_05_900_convertible

Today is the day to finally fill that gaping hole in your life with an old Hereford cow, or maybe 52 of them. Login to baskinrobbins.gov, where you can learn Hibachi table guy knife tricks and hire a psychic to cleanse you of your demonic tan lines. Try your best to survive the Burger King fistfight after your card declines, then across the street, you can order pizza or brownies, but they’re basically interchangeable.Intro/ outro music is 900 Convertible by Duke Hugh, used under Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-Noderivitives Licensinghttps://freemusicarchive.org/music/Duke_Hugh/Beattape_Summer_2010/duke_hugh_-_beattape_summer_2010_-_05_900_convertible

We’re having a fart-warming party and everyone’s invited! We’re gonna eat 3 loaves of Devil’s Fart bread, see who can swallow the most pills without choking to death, and celebrate Arbor Day. Tell us what your favorite cough syrup flavor is, don’t get offended when we mix the ketchup and ranch, and we will bully you if you don’t bring an inhaler. Hosted by Daylen Turk, Shelby Turk, Neva Gregory, and Wyatt Gregory.Intro/ outro music is 900 Convertible by Duke Hugh, used under Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-Noderivitives Licensinghttps://freemusicarchive.org/music/Duke_Hugh/Beattape_Summer_2010/duke_hugh_-_beattape_summer_2010_-_05_900_convertible

Lubricate your hands and “Phillip” your Hydrogen Peroxide flask in celebration of the death of the Audio Quality Demon. It has been slain, so shake the Unidentified Floating Hands, lower your energy crank to lie there like a dead fish, and accept The Full Lick that is this episode. Hosted by Daylen Turk, Shelby Turk, Neva Gregory and Wyatt GregoryIntro/ outro music is 900 Convertible by Duke Hugh, used under Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-Noderivitives Licensinghttps://freemusicarchive.org/music/Duke_Hugh/Beattape_Summer_2010/duke_hugh_-_beattape_summer_2010_-_05_900_convertible

The Power Haters are here to save you from your hot dog induced 37 minute lifespan degradation and loan you some half chaps. Slide one foot onto a sanding block and the other onto a live castrated cat, shove an entire stalk of celery down your throat during a street performance, take a short car ride to India in a few years, and maybe give your hot History teacher a call. Hosted by Daylen Turk, Shelby Turk, Neva Gregory and Wyatt Gregory.Intro/ outro music is 900 Convertible by Duke Hugh, used under Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-Noderivitives Licensinghttps://freemusicarchive.org/music/Duke_Hugh/Beattape_Summer_2010/duke_hugh_-_beattape_summer_2010_-_05_900_convertible

Strap on a BallBra and an Avatar loincloth, and prepare for the most expensive wallpaper you’ve ever smelled. Enter your pizza-inspired information to access your account, and then equip your BoobVision goggles to shield your eyes from projectile thorns. If unmarried, try not to smile while listening, or else you’re a sinner. Hosted by Daylen Turk, Shelby Turk, Neva Gregory, and Wyatt Gregory.Intro/ outro music is 900 Convertible by Duke Hugh, used under Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-Noderivitives Licensinghttps://freemusicarchive.org/music/Duke_Hugh/Beattape_Summer_2010/duke_hugh_-_beattape_summer_2010_-_05_900_convertible

Dont miss out on this exciting opportunity to try Verizon’s California roll family plan, at just $16 a day with an easy 100,000 step process, and if you are injured for any reason, they’ll cover all of your Tropical Grape-flavored painkiller costs. Celebrate your vibation with this great deal, but the parking lot is only for employees except for one space, so you’ll have to stack your cars on top of each other, or you can simply walk there after getting off the stolen train to Helena. Hosted by Daylen Turk, Shelby Turk, Neva Gregory and Wyatt Gregory.Intro/ outro music is 900 Convertible by Duke Hugh, used under Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-Noderivitives Licensinghttps://freemusicarchive.org/music/Duke_Hugh/Beattape_Summer_2010/duke_hugh_-_beattape_summer_2010_-_05_900_convertible

Prepare to use gunpowder to cauterize your self-inflicted candy wounds, drop kick a demonic doll, and have Goldfish trust issues for the rest of your life. Eat your chunky yogurt very carefully or else a group of flamingos will pop out and murder your family, and learn the truth about Jesus’ powers. Hosted by Daylen Turk, Shelby Turk, Neva Gregory and Wyatt Gregory.Intro/ outro music is 900 Convertible by Duke Hugh, used under Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-Noderivitives Licensinghttps://freemusicarchive.org/music/Duke_Hugh/Beattape_Summer_2010/duke_hugh_-_beattape_summer_2010_-_05_900_convertible

Get ready to commit genocide to save your dog’s life, and after running out of people, you’ll resort to hunting zoo animals on your daughter’s 3rd birthday, but not before becoming magnetically deformed after getting the live Kryptonite vaccine. Buy your bologna sandwich a prom dress or else you’ll choke on Fruity Pebble Milk and a gang of ripped nerds will show up, and their leader, Simone Biles will emerge and stab you with a grape-flavored Great sword, but it won’t be obvious, so the coroner will do an emergency autopsy to establish the cause of death. Hosted by Daylen Turk, Shelby Turk, Neva Gregory, and Wyatt Gregory.Intro/ outro music is 900 Convertible by Duke Hugh, used under Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-Noderivitives Licensinghttps://freemusicarchive.org/music/Duke_Hugh/Beattape_Summer_2010/duke_hugh_-_beattape_summer_2010_-_05_900_convertible

Dive into a world where Padawans soak their hair in a mixture of liquids while Italian gynecologists wax their tattooed scalps under the bridge, and Maybelline is declared the greatest country in the world. Then suddenly, The Sacred Door creaks open, revealing the Podcast God in which we trust. Hosted by Daylen Turk, Shelby Turk, Neva Gregory and Wyatt Gregory.Intro/ outro music is 900 Convertible by Duke Hugh, used under Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-Noderivitives Licensinghttps://freemusicarchive.org/music/Duke_Hugh/Beattape_Summer_2010/duke_hugh_-_beattape_summer_2010_-_05_900_convertible

5ft? 10ft? 100ft? What's the distance you will wait to hold the door open for someone? Chivalry is dead in this episode of 900 Things I Hate as we discuss the inconvenience of holding doors open, why country waitresses need to take it down a notch, and why Wyatt is destined to be the first OF Gamer. Hosted by Daylen Turk, Shelby Turk, Neva Gregory, and Wyatt Gregory.Intro/ outro music is 900 Convertible by Duke Hugh, used under Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-Noderivitives Licensinghttps://freemusicarchive.org/music/Duke_Hugh/Beattape_Summer_2010/duke_hugh_-_beattape_summer_2010_-_05_900_convertible

Another tragic incident has struck the 900 Things I Hate crew, leaving Shelby on a path from Smart car assassin to becoming just another California roll. That wont stop us from talking about things Wyatt hates though! In episode 53 we discuss the practicality of two backpacks, how pseudo silk worms are worthless, why overalls are actually the best ever, and the sayings that just grind our gears. Hosted by Daylen Turk, Neva Gregory and Wyatt Gregory.

Bugs are bugs, insects are insects, all insects are bugs but not all bugs are insects. The more you know! After our heated debate over what bugs are we discuss people with allergies and Daylen's blatant hypocrisy, tell our closest encounters with the dreaded P word that every English teachers warns about, and determine whether smart cars are cool. Hosted by Daylen Turk, Shelby Turk, Neva Gregory and Wyatt Gregory.Intro/ outro music is 900 Convertible by Duke Hugh, used under Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-Noderivitives Licensinghttps://freemusicarchive.org/music/Duke_Hugh/Beattape_Summer_2010/duke_hugh_-_beattape_summer_2010_-_05_900_convertible

Window pain, oranges, diarrhea, what are the limits to Eminem's lyrical madness? According to Wyatt, it needs to stop. In episode 51 of 900 Things I Hate we take a deep dive into the Shakespearean lyrics of Eminem. We discuss the worst possible gifts we could get and determine humans do indeed get fleas and they are the absolute worst. Hosted by Daylen Turk, Shelby Turk, Neva Gregory, and Wyatt Gregory.

Assassins are intense people, but what kind of cars do they drive? We decide this and many other things in episode 50, the first episode of Season 2! It had to start somewhere, why not at 50. Enjoy our conversation about the use of turn signals, or lack thereof, the pros and cons of eyebrows, and why strip clubs are only good if they have large amounts of food. Hosted by Daylen Turk, Shelby Turk, Neva Gregory, and Wyatt Gregory.

We all say things wrong from time to time, but Wyatt can't seem to excape people who expecially say things like winder and exetera. On this episode of 900 Things I Hate we try to discover the practicality of armpit hair and if it actually does it's job, and we debate our favorite chips and answer the question: are Bugles chips? Daylen gets a little angry and we touch base on our irrational anger through the years Hosted by Daylen Turk, Shelby Turk, Neva Gregory and Wyatt Gregory.

You might be wondering: Who has the best mustache or has Morgan Freeman ever had a mustache? Well you're in luck because you'll find those answers here in Episode 48! We determine whether the battle royale game Fortnite is still cool, long hair can be a nightmare, and we discover Wyatt is a liar when it comes to breaking his glasses. Hosted by Daylen Turk, Shelby Turk, Neva Gregory, and Wyatt Gregory.

Do you want a job where you just workout all day and hopefully get sent on a call? Well becoming a firefighter just might be the job for you, according to Neva. Daylen likes firefighters, but everyone else has strong feelings. We also discuss how the cold is not the flu, don't overexaggerate, Wyatt's insane pre-lunch ritual with the seating in the lunch room, and we decide whether a nice toupee is really worth $10,000. Hosted by Daylen Turk, Shelby Turk, Neva Gregory and Wyatt Gregory.

Come to find out, Wyatt is a mortician and he is very passionate about every body that comes through his freezer doors. What he is not passionate about are apple cores, which have seeds of poison inside them. School principals are not ideal, but at least Daylen had a PrinciPal and got to have board game lunches with his. And we come to find out Shelby has apparently betrayed Neva on a scale of unforgivable amount in terms of dental hygiene. Hosted by Daylen Turk, Shelby Turk, Neva Gregory and Wyatt Gregory.