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A Gay and A NonGay
A Gay and A NonGay
Author: James Barr and Dan Hudson
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© 2025 James Barr & Dan Hudson
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In a time where we're all threatened by a rhetoric of hate from the people in power; A Gay And A NonGay challenges our differences. No matter who you are, or what you're into, gay's and nongay's can & should be friends.
'Highly Recommended' Guardian
'One of the most fundamentally kind and funny podcasts in Britain' RadioTimes
'A hilarious take on love, friendship and sex' TimeOut
An independent podcast from James Barr (@imjamesbarr) and Dan Hudson (@DanHudson). Find us on Insta, TikTok, Twitter and Facebook @gaynongay
Get bonus content on Patreon, with our super exclusive fan feed
437 Episodes
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James and Dan are back with another chaotic, hilarious episode of A Gay and A NonGay!
This week, Dan’s lost his phone — and apparently his sanity — leading to a deep dive into how impossible modern life is without one (and how long James can last without rolling his eyes).
From there, the pair spiral into a debate about narcissism — is it always a bad thing, or can a little self-love actually be healthy?
James insists it’s a green flag, Dan isn’t so sure, and somewhere between poppers, entitlement, and empathy, they try to work out what the line really is between confidence and arrogance.
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Dan and James are back with more A Gay And A NonGay for a wide-ranging conversation, starting with stereotypes!
Is there such thing as a gay name and a straight name? And what's up with straight men putting their hands down their trousers?
Plus, they talk about the issue of creatively navigating first dates without relying on consuming alcohol and share their experiences attending Solihull Pride.
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Why is it that straight men can seemingly never behave themselves in public? That's the discussion on this episode of A Gay And A NonGay!
James and Dan are looking at two similarly gross incidents: a concert in New York and a burlesque show in Edinburgh, at both men were ejected because they couldn't keep their thing in their pants.
In a debate that ranges from the outrageous to the somewhat facetious, our co-hosts discuss everything from consent to the comparisons between different types of addictions, and whether society needs to be more understanding or whether a line must be drawn.
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We're getting political on this episode of A Gay And A NonGay!
Rylan’s controversial comments on immigration - the episode spirals into a fiery debate about misinformation, far-right rhetoric and the way everyday conversations in the UK are shaped by fear rather than facts.
From England flags mysteriously appearing on lampposts to Pride merch being vandalised, James and Dan unpack what it really means to be "proud" of your country — and how queer and refugee communities get caught in the crossfire.
Plus, the pair take a typically chaotic detour into whether Grindr is basically the Wild West of the internet.
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We're back with a new episode of A Gay And A NonGay! James and Dan are diving into the age-old relationship question: should you share your location with your partner?
Dan reveals he doesn't share his location with his girlfriend of 14 years (despite her sharing hers with him)... which James has some strong opinions about!
Dan also updates on his viral campaign to rename Birmingham Airport after the late Ozzy Osbourne and we explore the power of public petitions!
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James and Dan are back with another hilarious deep dive into gay and non-gay life!
Kicking off with a listener question about what gay people really listen to at the gym, things quickly spiral into a heated debate about whether liking Kylie or Madonna is performative — and whether James is secretly pretending to love Drag Race.
From there, we head to the rugby, where James (fuelled by Sauvignon Blanc) and Dan find themselves surrounded by rainbow flags, drag queens... and straight lads... discovering how queer joy can transform even the most “blokey” of spaces.
Along the way, we get into electric car nightmares, mosh pits at Download Festival and the unexpected shame of eating alone with a newspaper.
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James & Dan's Webby Award has finally arrived... and it's going to cost HOW MUCH to get a second one!? They'll be sharing for now!
On this episode of A Gay And A NonGay, James spills the tea about his recent wedding DJ gig that broke the internet because of the banned songs list he was sent! Is this purely straight behaviour?
Who has the better taste in music (gays or non-gays)? And should James get into DJing more weddings? All is contained herewithin!
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Get ready for a raw and honest conversation on this episode of A Gay And A NonGay, as James & Dan are joined by broadcaster Rich Clarke to talk about being gay in the public eye.
Rich opens up about his decades-long struggle with authenticity - and the breakdown that changed everything. He talks about working on Capital FM in the 2010s and being told he was "too gay"... and ultimately the conversations that led to the deterioration of his mental health.
James, Dan and Rich talk about the psychological cost of inauthenticity, media-enforced heteronormativity in the 2010s, and Rich's journey from shame to acceptance.
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We're here for another Summer episode of A Gay And A NonGay. With James at Edinburgh Fringe, we're focusing on the really big questions in life...
So, after we debate killing a fly or not, James & Dan are talking about regional gays (who even are they?!), why lavender marriages are making a comeback and the bizarre rules around who gets financial support in relationships.
James questions why we don’t just marry our friends, while Dan admits he’d rather be “unstable” than marry a bloke for tax breaks.
Plus, the debate gets heated! Maybe attractive people do have it better after all...
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We have our first guest-free episode of A Gay And A NonGay in ages! We're diving into everything from backpack etiquette to Oasis concerts.
We kick off with a burning question from their straightest friend: Why did we all believe that wearing a rucksack with both straps was gay? Queue a debate about bags, masculinity and school-era social dynamics.
Dan also shares his incredible experience at the Oasis reunion concert, leading to a discussion about whether massive concerts like these serve as "straight pride".
The episode explores themes of accountability, the complexity of community dynamic and the Coldplay concert incident that had everyone talking.
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We're diving in deep with historian and author Harry Tanner on this week's episode of A Gay And A NonGay!
As a teenager, Harry was an evangelical Christian and came to believe homosexuality was a sin. Now, he lives a fulfilled gay life in London where he writes and teaches ancient languages and history.
In his new book - The Queer Thing About Sin - Harry explores how the West invented and weaponised homophobia — tracing its origins from ancient Greece and Rome through to today’s culture wars.
uncover stories of queer love in history, from porn pots in ancient Greece to heartfelt letters between men in 18th‑century Boston. They discuss why queer rights have risen and fallen throughout history and the deep ties between religion, politics and sexuality.
Plus, don't miss a surprising detour into ancient condoms!
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We’re joined by Eurovision royalty on this episode of A Gay And A NonGay — the winner of the 2025 Eurovision Song Contest, JJ!
Fresh from Vienna, JJ chats with James and Dan about everything from broken trophies and bubble wrap fails to navigating unrequited love in the queer community.
They open up about the struggles of dating when everyone seems a little self-obsessed, the importance of listening to your friends’ red-flag warnings and why being true to yourself is key in love and life.
Plus — JJ teases their brand new music following the smash hit Wasted Love, with 29 million plays and counting.
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We have a record-breaker on the podcast this week! It's Eva Echo's third appearance on A Gay And A NonGay, which puts her in a class of her own!
Eva is a trans activity, NHS campaigner and is the Director of Innovation at Birmingham Pride.
On this episode, James, Dan and Eva talk about pride as a protest amid rising transphobia in UK politics, the recent UK Supreme Court ruling on gender identity and the Download Festival toilet controversy.
Plus, the hosts explore the difficulty of self-recognition and appreciation for activists.
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We have pop royalty on this episode of A Gay And A NonGay as James and Dan are joined by actor, singer and famous brother Frankie Grande!
Frankie's new album Hotel Rock Bottom is out now and covers everything from gay joy to his journey to sobriety.
In this conversation, James, Dan and Frankie talk about sobriety in the gay community, the evolving nature of Pride and queer representation and the significance of chosen family.
Frankie also shares amusing anecdotes from his life, including his thoughts on the viral 'Fire Island Chicken Tender' incident and his love for space dance rock pop music.
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On this episode of A Gay And A NonGay, James and Dan are joined by author, comedian and honorary sixth straight guest, Max Dickins!
Max opens up about the inspiration behind his brilliant book Billy No-Mates — a deep-dive into male friendship sparked by the realisation he had no one to ask to be his best man. Together, they unpack the complexities of male friendships, masculinity, vulnerability, and why so many straight men are stuck in a “friendship recession”.
The trio get hilariously real about everything from stag do admin to homophobic hang-ups around hugging, going for dinner (too gay?), and why Nando’s is apparently the safest middle ground.
Plus, James shares his theory around why platonic love after heartbreak might just be more romantic than romance itself.
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We’re joined by Richard Angell, OBE and Chief Executive of the Terrence Higgins Trust, on this week's episode of A Gay And A NonGay!
The Terrence Higgins Trust is at the forefront of the fight against HIV, striving for a future where there are no new cases of HIV, where people living with HIV get the support they need and there is good sexual health for all.
Richard joins James and Dan to talk about the ongoing fight against HIV and the stigma that still surrounds it.
From the legacy of Terrence Higgins, the first known person in the UK to die of AIDS, to the urgent need for better sex education for queer men. Richard shares powerful insights and reflects on the challenges posed by formal faith institutions and how we can push for a more inclusive future.
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If you can't love yourself, how can you love anybody else? On this episode of A Gay And A NonGay, James and Dan are diving into the importance of self-love this Pride season.
From exploring the transactional nature of relationships to discussing how to set expectations and the realities of compromise - we're coming to the realisation that love can look different, and being true to yourself through all of this self-discovery is of paramount importance.
Happy Pride and we'll see you next week for more profound thoughts?!
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We’re joined by the award winning Elf Lyons on this weeks episode of A Gay And A NonGay!
She has literally been listed as one of the 50 Funniest Comedians of the 21st Century by The Telegraph, one of the ’20 Names of Now’ by British Vogue and is a multi-Edinburgh Fringe award winner – so you know we’ve got a good one!
James, Dan and Elf talk about tackling trauma through comedy, embracing weirdness, flat earth theories, finding comfort in your identity and… what is the male equivalent of brunch?
All of these hard-hitting questions tackled without fear!
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On this week’s episode of A Gay And A NonGay, James and Dan are having a long overdue catch-up to chat about the recent goings on in their lives.
From running marathons… to walking through tunnels, and the awkwardness of attending awards ceremonies. James and Dan also reflect on winning the Webby Award for Independent Podcast and give an inside peak into the celebrations!
We’ll be back next week with your regularly scheduled programming!
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Gay love stories? We're here for them - especially when they speak to a broader message about the world we live in. Our guest on this episode of A Gay And A NonGay is an expert in this field.
Jeremy Atherton Lin is the author of the National Book Critics Circle Award winner Gay Bar: Why We Went Out. His essays have appeared in the Times Literary Supplement and the Yale Review, for which he was a finalist for the National Magazine Award.
His new book is Deep House, a queer love story set in an era when gay couples faced significant legal and societal challenges. It is released on June 5th.
On this weeks episode, James, Dan and Jeremy talk about the importance of gay bars, the significance of the historical and political narratives in the new book, and the resilience and creativity of the queer community.
Jeremy shares insights about his relationship, the evolution of LGBTQ rights, and the ongoing fight for equality.
Order Deep House now from all good bookstores: https://www.penguin.co.uk/books/455205/deep-house-by-lin-jeremy-atherton/9780241629789
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in your recent episode "Barbie needs the gays" James said "there's no gays in the Barbie movie" I'm not hating I love your podcasts but there is a lesbian Barbie in the beginning!!! ❤
Because it's not crooked.
What an unbearable nut job James is. He’ll just attack you until you admit he’s right. Poor Dan.
Worthwhile and entertaining! These guys are glorious. I wish they had live shows in America.
So.many. (painfully loud, Radio 1 style) ads I unsubscribed. Couldn't deal with the constant interruptions. Shame, because the content itself is pretty good!
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b mn.