A League of Inches Podcast

Keith’s anger at HOKARR for giving away the Empire Funds finally boils over.Drama over playoff position reaches a fever pitch.The Tim vs. Eric battle comes to a head.Come for the scintillating game recaps, stay for the riveting league-member-sent-in audio!It’s the penultimate week of the regular season, ad we cover it ALL on A League of Inches Podcast! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit aleagueofinches.substack.com

Shit is getting really really real now, as one month remains in the regular season!Can Keith parlay his big SweetGreen into something more? A playoff spot, perhaps? (Probably not.)Tune in to see if Keith has anything to say about beating Tim this week! Also, I hope you like Whitney Houston! We continue to spew garbage as long as you guys continue to listen, so…enjoy!Here are the reports for week 10: This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit aleagueofinches.substack.com

The season is really coming into focus. Only 7 will make it. We know who isn’t making it. So really now, it’s: Don’t be 8th or 9th.Punishment comes down to 3 people also. The other 9 of you can be considered safe.This week was a pretty pathetically mediocre and average week, in an average league, participated in by some pretty average middle-aged guys. But the sum of us is greater than our holes, or something like that. Together, we make this league something special.Instead of doing this show, I should have spent an hour reading the transcript of the brilliant shit-talking war between Eric and me this past Sunday, but instead, I wasted two hours of everyone’s time to create absolutely no new thoughts or knowledge. You’re welcome.Here are this week’s reports: This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit aleagueofinches.substack.com

Jon has heard enough of our whining. He reminds us we are men, then we promptly forget about this and start whining again!New sounds this week! Plus a tribute to a legendary pimp/dicksman!We’ve got the movers, the risers, the fallers, the new league leaders, the new cellar dwellers (well, that’s actually the same.) Find it ALL here on ALOI Podcast!Including THIS:Just two hours? These guys are slipping!Now, enjoy these reports, generated by Keifff, computer semi-genius, and STFU! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit aleagueofinches.substack.com

Well, it’s the thing everyone’s talking about. HJ left the WhatsApp chat, and the fucking world has turned upside down. Enough that we dropped 177-minute podcast to discuss it! New content bursts from every seam, and oozes out everywhere, all over Wil’s birthday cake. OOPS.Enjoy the fact that we did pretty much every segment we can do on this pod. The season is in its prime, so there is much to discuss. Also, enjoy my new reports that I wrote awesome scripts to generate. (below) Why doesn’t Yahoo! just program their site the way that I do? Because they’re dumb fucks, that’s why.If you don’t have a trans-Atlantic flight, this pod may prove difficult to finish in one sitting, kind of like that woman Joshy met at Giant Eagle. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit aleagueofinches.substack.com

The trade frenzy has reached a fever pitch! Who got one, who’s left in the cold? The rich get richer, the poor get poorer. Ned, Prox, and Keiff limp towards halfway with NOTHING to show for 6 weeks of work.Keith unLOADs two new, terrible songs this week… which is less terrible?9 Teams Remain—who will take the crown?If you have 100 minutes to burn, no real threshold for boredom, and two ears, boy do I have a podcast for you! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit aleagueofinches.substack.com

In a heartwarming turn, 2/3 of the holy trinity has returned to Dublin! In other news, the season is over for Ned and Keith, as two men abandon their bids to win, only 33% of the way through the year. 10 men with a chance remain.This week, waivers, name changes and trades came in a blinding flurry of HOT ALOI ACTION! We talk about all of it. For WAY too long.Don’t miss this two-hour tribute to wasting your fucking time!TRIVIA: The ALOI Podcast hit a new high of 54 downloads last week. What is going ON out there? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit aleagueofinches.substack.com

Welcome to a Post-Punishment world. Tim’s win now COUNT, which is as disturbing as the man himself. Keifff gets his first victory, so we can stop listening to him whine, and the Empire is successfully defended! A weird haiku makes an appearance. And perhaps the best show close of all TIMe?Much, much more shit is thrown at your earholes this week! Enjoy? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit aleagueofinches.substack.com

Week 3 is in the books, and it was a brutal one for many owners, with 9/12 owners underperforming projections. 2 of the 3 who did overperform were within 5 of their original projection. Low-scoring week.Can we implement a fucking median, please?Keith wrote a nifty little program to scrape data from the site and calculate numbers and awards. Pretty soon, the podcast will record itself!Now sit back and enjoy a fuckload of Tim content! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit aleagueofinches.substack.com

Week 2 is in the books, and trends are starting to take hold of the league. We discuss it all, with our signature laser focus that allows us to pack 10 minutes of content into 90 minutes every week!Which of the 269 random sex facts do YOU want to hear? Chime in and let me know how you feel about the new official rap artist of ALOI, Ashton Larold! (videos below)It’s all HERE, on A League of Inches Podcast! So leave work, tell your wife you have a late meeting, get in bed and flip on the Sonos, Wil and Keifff are coming in, on, and around your earholes!Al This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit aleagueofinches.substack.com

Keith returns from vacation to find his fantasy season in shambles. Wil gloats like an asshole over his big week 1 win, after beating Keith for the first time in 20 months. We get one of the most cryptic Timmyverse dispatches yet, trades, name changes, all of it happens, as we kick off the season in A League of Inches!We welcome new listener Brian to the fold! Brian, enjoy this week’s plate of hot garbage! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit aleagueofinches.substack.com

It’s our draft review episode! Everything from football to tacos to eggs is discussed! Waste 90 minutes learning things you already know!The season starts in two days, and some of us are completely fucked. Find out WHO is more fucked than the rest! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit aleagueofinches.substack.com

We don’t really have anything to talk about, but we shake the rust off for 90 minutes of time-filling goodness, and it’s great to be back!!In today’s show: draft info, keepers, long-term bets, sound drops, and more!Have fun with our first episode to be published directly on Substack! It’s season FIVE of this shit, and we are SO back! Jump aboard! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit aleagueofinches.substack.com

Eric takes a Neddy bye. Prox blasts me in the eye. HOKARR’s stock drops. Peter drops a deuce, virtually guaranteeing Wil will make the playoffs. In a deadly game of musical chairs between Peter, HOKARR, Josh, Jordan, and Will, who will be left standing? (In this case, standing is bad, you see, because sitting people got a chair and made the playoffs—try to keep up, dummies!)The League heavily desires my players, but can they acquire them? It will take a special keeper to make the final blockbuster move of the season!Blah blah blah, week 11! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit aleagueofinches.substack.com

Happy Thanksgiving, ALOI!!! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit aleagueofinches.substack.com

In the season finale of the podcast, a new champion is crowned! The guys take a retrospective deep dive on the season that was, examine recent history in the Kommon Era (K.E.), and much, much more. Like probably TOO much more. Keith realizes that despite all the self-promotion, that he's trash. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit aleagueofinches.substack.com

On today’s show we will review the playoff and consolation matchups from the weekend, we will take a look at next week’s final, we will chat it up with a league demigod, examine name changes, and we will hand out the kicker of the week.This podcast is your gift from us to you! Merry Christmas, A League of Inches! Hope you like crap!Love,Wil & Keith This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit aleagueofinches.substack.com

In this short pod of only 95 minutes, the boys open up the guest chair to a mystery league member, we talk about the alternate reality of a world in which a median had existed in Yahoo+ (thanks, Eric!), talk about the mostly lackluster playoffs, and generally jerk off, waiting for the season to end. Enjoy? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit aleagueofinches.substack.com

In this landmark 105-minute episode, the guys have fun with Dispatches from the Timmyverse, look on at the 20+ name changes between EDogg and Jordan, discuss the playoff seedings, including Proximo's meteoric rise and the league punishment final. Saddle up and ride to the postseason, as the smack talk and side bets escalate to new heights! And if you read this far, do NOT go fuck yourself, fucking oneself is my wish for everyone who didn't read this entire description! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit aleagueofinches.substack.com

As the season nears its end, upsets throw the league into chaos! The seemingly already decided punishment changes hands at the last moment! Belter, Eternal Champion makes one of the most savvy moves in league history. Joshy Dubs brings a blizzard of points on Monday Night to wreck the commissioner's complexion. All this AND a sexy gorilla mercy-kills an elderly man on playoff life-support...NEXT on a ALOI Podcast! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit aleagueofinches.substack.com