A Night In The ASYLUM

Tech gadget reviews and the frustrations that sometimes drive us crazy!

06/19/2022 - ASYLUM - Happy Daddy Day Darren

Darren questions why Rafi isn't sitting on his lap for Father's Day. Rafi changes the subject and questions what happened to Whiskers (Jen's new pet name). Darren compliments Rafi's work on "The Cookie Jar" and suggests they widen the dimension and do the show live at some point. Darren and Rafi encourage Jen to bring her house guests on (so we can dig for dirt). Darren analyzes why Monotone Mark is following Rafi everywhere (is this love)? Rafi talks about another one his beautiful 3 hour shit shows, playing a DJ, and also the Governor's balls.... err, Ball (music festival). Rafi getting hit on again by girls (blah). Darren reminisces about their previous 3-week host Joe and his wife the Producer (gone). Darren wants to be the next Broadway director for Dear Evan Hansen. Rafi mentions Matilda is coming out as a musical for Netflix (Rafi didn't mention auditioning?). Stranger Things may be over-done for Darren but Rafi's getting married to the show. Darren wants to know why Rafi keeps finding reasons why he isn't into someone. And the subject changes to time sucking TikTok. Darren recommends Breaking Bad on Netflix. Bryan Cranston is now starring in "Jerry and Marge Go Large". Rafi thinks Hempstead is far - try traveling to Texas. Darren wants to sniff Rafi's stink. Darren wants to know how Rafi "does it" and supports himself. The duo compare notes on Yoga and holding positions for a long time (wait isn't Rafi a mannequin expert)? Darren tried Max Challenge and Rafi thinks he's talking about devil acceptance with an ice bucket, and Darren's partner Pat wants his own gym time. Darren talks about the cute straight boy he met to ride at Six Flags. Darren talks more serious about his 82 year old father-in-law breaking his neck but survived. And the show closes with more about smelling Rafi.

07-18
43:08

07/17/2022 - ASYLUM - Pampering Yourself and Squirting

The trio is back to talk about Hair (in the ears, nose, eyebrows) and Nails (dirty black nails at the salon, matte polish pedicures for men). Rafi catches us up with his "Cutting Room" live show, and soon you can catch Rafi in an orgy scene... "Narcissist of New York City"... where nothing happens - be looking for that hit on Amazon VOD/Prime. Darren is headed back to Dallas and San Antonio at the end of August. Earlier tonight Rafi had a nice Italian dinner at a DNR meetup with Rick the Pig, Xtena/Edwin, Wayward Tom, What is Happening Jason & Dan... while Jen and Darren wonder if their invitations got lost. Rafi's headed out for more fun (and gummies?) with the DNR gang somewhere in midtown tonight. Jen and Darren are too lazy to leave the couch, blaming it on work tomorrow. Rafi had a date (or... a meet-up) with monotone Mark in Hoboken where the fireworks were hot and Rafi stripped his shirt off post gummy. Would Darren or Rafi be cool dating a FTM post-op? Darren yes, Rafi... err. The trio need an education on proper trans* terminology post Rocky Horror Picture show. Darren confuses vaping and dabbing/wax. Jen tries to explain the difference. Next week, the DnRnS show?

07-18
42:35

05/22/2022 - ASYLUM - Used Jockstraps

Darren N Rafi return for another duo episode of DNR 3.0, while Jen is partying in Guadalajara. Rafi apparently won't be hitching a ride on the Alaska cruise at the moment due to a misunderstanding of who was potentially paying for the stateroom. Rafi needs to find an older sugar daddy or mommy... Nah that's not Rafi. He really wants old fashioned romance and love. And it's been over a month since Rafi has had any physical attention. Any volunteers? You must like bathroom discos! Rafi talks about his expensive stolen gym shoe, that Bean Bag Boy is back (at least on the job) and Rafi's now ushering at Rugby games. Darren brings up a possible idea to fund Rafi's trip on the DNR European cruise - by auctioning off his used jockstrap. Or each piece of his sweaty gym outfit. Rafi tells us of his new friend he met, a designer for mens lace; both Rafi and Darren pass on any interest - no offense to those who are turned on by lace. Rafi promotes "Pair of Thieves" underwear available at Target - now that's sexy. Rafi talks Bermuda, Charity Walks, and not catching up with the DNR cruisers. Darren talks about his lack of attention while out at the gay bars in Dallas. Darren asks how the Cookie JAR Podcast got started and Rafi sends his kudos to those who encouraged him.

05-23
46:51

05/01/2022 - ASYLUM - Who's the Daddy Now!?

Jen suggests stuffing our next pet and figuring out the best position. Darren serves drinks next to his pet's bones. Rafi's skin gets fried in Miami Beach before his double appearance on Enamorándonos. Look for it on https://www.youtube.com/c/UnimasOficial (not sure if its posted yet) but Rafi gets short-changed with only one option for a date. Rafi didn't know what his potential date looked like until the Producer gives Rafi his Instagram, oh and he's a photographer. Rafi thought he was attractive but he was more attracted to his models. But then discovered he was looking at the wrong date. But what happened to the date? Instead, Rafi falls for a gorgeous cuban Spanish speaking boi, a younger man, 21, at the airport who was giving Rafi his do-me eyes. Who is the Daddy now, Rafi!? Jen wants to know what the gay signals are, when you want someone. Darren switches to his Dolphin Dick history. Jen tells us about her all-night Saturday partying in Miami (minus Rafi!) and her experiences at the Sexy Fish and Fountain Blue where a DJ gets her an Uber ride that's a night club on wheels - disco lights, lasers, surround sound. Next stop at 3am is the political end of the DJ business. The partying went on till Jen and Manuel get to bed at 9am Sunday morning. Darren feels old as his quiet Saturday was spent seeing the Tina Turner musical on broadway with Pat at 2pm then 6pm was Jacobs Pickles with a small pre-cruise DNR dinner group. Rafi ends the show with promo for his new Cookie Jar Show every Friday - see: https://www.facebook.com/CookieJARshow/ - stay tuned for Snicker Doodles!

05-01
43:26

04/16/2022 - ASYLUM - It's the JARF show!

Jen Aczualdez (JA) and Rafi Fuentes (RF) (aka: JARF show) reminisce about their latest NYC party gathering with entertainers at La Pulperia in Hells Kitchen, where Jen discovered Rafi's voice as he serenaded the group. Darren is jealous. Rafi talks about being in Miami getting ready to be a contestant (instead of a translator) on a real life/live TV show: Enamorándonos by Univision! Will Rafi find Love and a new date for his disco bathroom? Or will it end in bean bag disaster? Jen will be in Miami next week! Will JARF meet up in Miami with Rafi showing Jen his dance moves? Jen tells us what it was like to be a guest at a Jewish Seder with not so delicious Kosher Manischewitz wine, which "needs improvement" (more alcohol, less sugar). Darren is home, preparing to leave for Dallas, ready to cruise the bars in Oak Lawn TX, he'll try Rafi's double-look behind. Will there be escalators at the bars? Will Darren get lost and find himself at the closed Electric Lizard? Rafi doesn't know how to open a Tesla. Darren doesn't know who Ja Rule is. Ahh the generation gap. Jen contemplates her next world travels post-miami. And will the three be getting stoned at the American Dream mall in East Rutherford NJ in the future? But Jen has mall-PTSD so probably not. Or now that pot is legal in New Jersey with dispensaries opening soon, maybe she'll have more at her disposal, to calm her down. Recorded on Saturday April 16th due to Rafi & Darren traveling on Sunday.

04-17
44:12

04/10/2022 - ASYLUM - DNR 3.0 - It's all about Rafi

Darren N Rafi (DNR) thought it was going to be just the two of them, but then Jen pops into the episode before Rafi does! Rafi catches us up about his delicious dinner date at the Astoria New York Diner - the Omonia Cafe - complete with pubic hair in his water. Jen tell us about the fingernail that was found in a Wendy's burger when she was flipping burgers at age 17. Rafi invents a new word: "Tigre" = Tired and hungry. Darren is traveling to Dallas and will be staying closer to Oak Lawn, and Jen gives her best advice on other areas of the city to consider: Deep Vellum or Uptown. Darren was on hold with JetBlue chat for over 2 hours, and the treo compare notes about flight shopping sites priceline.com kayak.com skiplag.com (hidden city). Rafi tells us of his new gig - a print ad for Manhattan West (next to Hudson Yard) - a 10 hour job. Then Rafi proceeds to complain about not getting paid for his last gig. The "little guy" is even suing. We learn something else new about Rafi, he has oily eyelids. Superstar Rafi will be signing autographs at the DNR open house on Saturday April 30th before the Bermuda cruise leaves. Is there a listener out there somewhere who will let Rafi stay in your cabin? Darren and Pat are having dinner with a group of 20 on Saturday the 29th at Jacob's Pickles.

04-11
44:55

2022/04/03 - ASYLUM - Darren's hair fire, Rafi's sex[y] videos and Jen likes it swallowable

Darrens niece Heather calls in to report on Darrens hair fire this weekend during the BBQ. Whiskers (Jen) is stuck in traffic so dials into the show. Jen shares her hair story - using her hair as dental floss. Darren shares his post surgery glue peeling in his belly button. Rafi gives us an update on his sexy shirtless videos that did not happen. Then what are we reporting on, says Darren? Rafi shares what his last actual serious show was - A Christmas Carol performed in Lancaster PA at Junction Center. Fast forward to today, Rafi appears as one of the sexy wait staff on Billions Season 6 Episode 10. Jen tells us she likes nut milk and that pineapples make it more swallowable. Jen and Rafi recommended that milk lovers like Darren should try Macadamia milk or Califia's Coconut Almond Milk or Aloha Oat Milk - but with any brand be careful of too much sugar or gross sugar replacements like Stevia. Jen shares what its like to lick a stevia leaf. Darren shares what it's like to down Bai coconut water pumped out of the polluted rivers of Trenton NJ. And Rafi shares his love of baked Pirates Booty. April 19th 10pm ET - prerecording interview with Elisa Hebert - article on Don't say Gay Law and the huge response (see https://bit.ly/elisaflorida)

04-04
43:47

2022-03-27 - ASYLUM - Darrens surgery, Corpse Rafi and Catfish

Rafi catches us up with his latest casting offer - to be a corpse. Jen reads the email notification from the director; Rafi tries but fails to re-enact his emotions while reading the email. Is Rafi now typecast to only play mannequins and corpses? Time will tell. But his Shoeshiner music video shoot shows promise. As do Rafis new boyfriends. Darren is still alive after being cut open with the Da Vinci Xi robot, for his laparoscopic surgery to remove his gallbladder. And Jen talks about how she does not want to use a catfish picture from when she was 30, as her promotional images for Asylum. We also learn where Jens new nickname Whiskers came from. Last, we get a bit political, mentioning the LinkedIn post by Elisa Hebert (see https://bit.ly/elisaflorida) about the Dont Say Gay law. If you want to read the law yourself, see https://bit.ly/dontsaygaylaw

03-30
42:49

2022-03-20 - ASYLUM - Maldives, Rafi's Erections and More!

The trio returns after a long break of mixed vacations and business travel. Darren and Jen start the show with Jen remote on her cell phone, and Rafi connecting soon after via Zoom. Darren shares details of getting to the Maldives on his expensive vacation to the overwater bungalows. Travel times, business class travel on Qatar Airways, international airport experiences, Kuderu resort details, and more! Rafi fills us in on coming SO CLOSE to getting the Jose Cuervo gig - but no cigar. But several other cool jobs are headed Rafi's way... including Rafi as a Doc for Erectile Dysfunction promos! Oh we can't wait. Darren volunteered to be the dad patient in the promos. Jen listens in and interjects where she could, when she could! Tune in to hear more!

03-21
44:56

2022-02-27 - ASYLUM - Haunted Houses, Anal Condoms and Jose Cuervo audition

It's the DnR 3.0 show again with Darren and Rafi, as Jen is too hung over to get to the microphone. Poor Jen. Hear about their trip to West Orange on Friday with all three hosts, to a presumed Haunted House (where two kids were murdered). Nobody really felt anything odd other than Darren was spooked on the third floor in what looked like a large walk-in closet. Rafi talks about getting killed in his past life and the other dimension of life after death. Darren shares his Long Island medium story (no, not Theresa from TV). The new FDA approved anal condom is discussed but then rawly forgotten. Rafi shares his virtual audition details for a social campaign for Jose Cuervo. And super-Rafi-fan Monotone Marc calls in to talk musicals.

02-28
44:38

2022-02-20 - ASYLUM - DNR 3.0, Weed Foods & Bean Bags

Darren and Rafi's first show without Jen! Oh that makes us DNR (3.0?). Rafi tells us about his first two weed foods: his first was a gummy - joyful and laughable. His second was a weed brownie - which resulted in paranoia. Darren's first experience with pot was sitting in a hearse with about 4 other friends, 25 some years ago. Rafi's wildest psychedelic experience was mushrooms. Darren gave a hard pass on the hallucinogenics. But neither Rafi or Darren would rule out ayahuasca retreat. Rafi gives us more details about his first date with Bean Bag Boy and even shows us pictures on Rafi's cell (https://bit.ly/asylumlive). Oh and there's Rafi's latest attempt to pick up a San Fran visitor man in a NYC crosswalk. But no reply back to Rafi (daaaaang). Rafi tells us he's not a gold star gay, because he came out of his mothers canal. On that note! See you next week!

02-21
44:19

2022-02-01 - ASYLUM - Getting to know Rafi

Jen give us an update on her resignation from Company A and how they would welcome her back, if Company B doesn't work out. Darren has many questions for Rafi about what we learned from his DnR appearance last Thursday Feb 3rd (It Takes Two). Rafi graciously said that he and straight (but swishy) AJ are good looking in their own ways. Darren apologizes to Rafi for spilling the beans on Rafi's hidden resume talent, being a mannequin (or corpse, as AJ put it). Darren also suggested that even if it takes Rafi till mid 30's to become famous, some actors such as Lisa Emery (70 year old Darlene on Ozarks) didn't get real acting gigs with speaking roles until their mid 30's. Rafi gives us an update on his shoot for Dazzling Cleaning. And Darren suggests he'd pay Rafi $90 for ... Darren then tries to hook up Rafi with a speaking role as a real bartender for Jen. Rafi starts to take off his clothes, giving us some shoulder on https://bit.ly/asylumlive. We then trail off into Rafi's disco and selfie shirtless bathroom habits with men that he dates.

02-13
49:09

2022-02-01 - ASYLUM - Life Changes or Jen and welcome Rafi!

Jen shares her resignation experience from Company A, while she prepares to move to Company B (VMWare) - and Darren tries to summarize (and clobbers) what VMWare Tanzu is all about. Jen tries to resign from the Asylum but Darren won't let go and shifts the Asylum schedule to accommodate the real talent (Jen). But here comes Rafi our guest host to add some new zest. We learn about Rafi's mannequin skills, his "Romancing the Bathroom Nightclub" experience, and his dating skills on "how to catch a catfish" online. Speaking of skills, Rafi shares his manly hair growth skills and shaving (not waxing) habits. Romaine, how does that chest feel?

02-02
41:21

2022-01-25 - ASYLUM - Darren Cuts the Cord

Jen has returned from her 3 week trip to Spain, Germany, Rome, and more! She shares her experiences trying to find a distiller partner for their Gin, ACZU GIN (see www.drinkgoodgin.com) - plus their vacation in Rome. Then Darren gets to the core Topic: why and how he Cut the Cord - cancelling his $200 Comcast Cable bill, switching to just plain Internet, YouTube TV, Netflix (via his iPhone account) and Amazon Prime. Instead of paying $400 for two locations, he's now paying about $200 for both. Jen compares notes about what she's heard about Sling, Hulu and Spectrum. Listen in to hear our experiences!

01-28
59:15

2022-01-04 - ASYLUM - DNR Crossover Show with Derek and Romaine

Derek Hartley and Romaine Patterson spent the evening with hosts Darren and Jen from "A Night In The ASYLUM". Listen in as they discuss tequila, cruising, gay bars and a few holiday traditions.

12-31
01:00:03

2021-12-28 - ASYLUM - Derek Hartley Guest - Cruising during COVID, and Democracy Under Attack!

Derek Hartley joins the ASYLUM while Jen is missing in action! Darren and Derek talk about their recent experiences cruising during COVID and how the cruise lines are trying to keep everyone safe(r) when traveling aboard a mini-city - and how that compares in safety to something like shopping, theatre-watching and dining in NYC (where vaccination or proof of being COVID negative, isn't a requirement).  Next up: Darren asks the expert (IDarrensHO), Derek, if we should be concerned about Trump loyalists trying to place their own Secretary of State picks into those powerful positions in swing states. This could allow another option for these politicians to overturn the will of the people and appoint Trump loyalists, should another candidate win in future elections. Would The People stand for it? Also hear Derek's opinion about stacking the US Supreme Court, Term Limits - and will Trump run and win in 2024?

12-31
52:50

2021-11-29 - ASYLUM - Rafi Fuentes from DNR visits The ASYLUM

Derek and Romaine listeners know of Rafi as one of the DNRstudios.com interns. Rafi joins the show today to give us the background on how he became involved in the arts, his hopes, dreams, and the fact that he loves being in front of camera - though he can also write, produce, direct, edit and distribute his own shows. One of Rafi's dreams is to be in a major broadway musical. However for now, he has been happy doing off-broadway shows and modeling. Listen in and learn more about Rafi and his upcoming projects! Shout out to my partner Pat for being my Board Op, while I'm in Texas! The Boy Who Sings EP is now available for pre-order on iTunes and Google Play iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/the-boy-who-sings-ep/1448044048 Google Play: https://play.google.com/store/music/album/Rafi_Fuentes_The_Boy_Who_Sings_EP?id=Bohjwjwwmt7dv7jjjuselq3a4ja&hl=en Website: www.rafifuentes.com Music: soundcloud.com/rafifuentesnyc Spotify: Rafi Fuentes Instagram: rafi_fuentes TikTok: rafi_fuentes Twitter: @rafifuentes

12-01
57:53

2021-11-16 - ASYLUM - Recent Cruise and Mexico Trip Experiences

Jen and Darren have been traveling for the past month, for work and business. Their travels started in Texas, when Jen went to see her dad during her birthday, and Darren was in Texas for work - both in the Dallas area only about 15 minutes from each other - but they didn't manage to see each other. Jen's next 17 day trip was a mix of pleasure and Aldez Tequila related, with Manuel. Her stops included Dominican Republic's Punta Cana, Cancún Mexico (at Secrets with lots of turquoise water) and finally Oaxaca Mexico (using amrcollection.com). Darren and Pat's next trip was with derekandromaine.com fans - 2 days in Disney then a 7 day Norwegian Mexican Riviera cruise to Puerto Vallarta, Mazatlán and Cabo San Lucas. The two compare notes about COVID and mask policies, comfort levels and overall experiences.

11-17
58:09

2021-10-05 - ASYLUM - Newport RI & Boston Adventures, Travel Vaccines and COVID Boosters

Jen shares her trip details to "Audrain Newport Concours & Motor Week" at Rough Point, Newport RI, where she and Manuel were invited to host a bar area for their brands Aczu Gin (aczugin.com) and Aldez Tequila (aldeztequila.com). Afterwards they headed to Boston where they visited the Cheers Bar and SeaPort, and they also took a Duck Tour via boat, where they learned the real facts about Paul Revere's Midnight Ride. Darren talks about his experiences pissing blood and getting a cystoscopy (a thick tube and instruments up his dick). He also gives us an update on his participation as a Guinea Pig for the latest Pfizer COVID Booster Study. He was unblinded last Friday and WAS given the real shot, and his side effects were fatigue for two days. Darren also spoke about what an Annual Flight Review was like, to keep current with his pilots license. And last, in preparation for his trip to the Maldives next year, Darren researched Travel Vaccine requirements. Jen also recommends Darren read the "Phoenix Project".

10-06
01:00:02

2021-09-28 - ASYLUM - Thrupples, Travel to Dominican Republic & Bed Shopping

Darren opens the show with an update about his brother-in-law, then talks of his trip with Pat to the Assembly Bar in Philly, while Jen was also in the Dominican Republic with her Thrupple: Manuel and their hunky assistant; partly for business development and as a reward. Darren tips his hat to Jen for her mention in Forbes. Jen tips her hat at Darren for starting Orange Theory. And the duo compare notes about Memory Foam mattresses: NovaForm, Casper and Purple 3. Jen gives a glowing review of the latter and her purchase process and decision. Their recent movie/show recommendations: The Package, Sex Education, Squid Game. And last but not least, Darren takes his mom to plan his parents funeral.

09-29
01:00:02

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