A Slight Change of Plans

Kristin Neff is a psychologist and the author of "Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself." Her pioneering research busts cultural myths about self-compassion and shows it’s an effective motivational tool. In this episode from the archives, Kristin talks with Maya about how to get past the idea that caring for ourselves is selfish and offers simple practices for being kinder to ourselves.  If you enjoyed this episode, we recommend this one from the archives: “The Science of Our Inner Voice.” Connect with Maya on instagram @DrMayaShankar.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

For many years, writer Jennifer Romolini prided herself on her work ethic. She climbed to the top of every corporate ladder and worked 60 hours or more every week. But after an unexpected health crisis, Jennifer realized her ambition had turned toxic. Maya and Jennifer discuss the perils of aiming for a one-size-fits-all version of success and the benefits of redefining ambition for yourself.  For more about Jennifer, check out her memoir, "Ambition Monster." You can follow Maya @DrMayaShankar on Instagram.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Soon after giving birth, writer Sarah Ruhl developed a severe case of facial paralysis. The left side of her face drooped, she couldn’t blink or raise her eyebrows, and she could no longer smile. Sarah shares what it was like to lose her smile and how her relationship to her face, and with her loved ones, has changed over the years.  You can follow Maya @DrMayaShankar on Instagram.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A few years ago, Maya experienced a heartbreaking change in her personal life, while on her way to trying to become a mom. Two days after it happened, she felt the need to process it out loud, like so many of her guests have done on her show. In this episode, Maya asked her producer, Tyler, to interview her about her own “Slight Change of Plans.” You can follow Maya @DrMayaShankar on Instagram.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Tommy Caldwell’s near-death experience unlocks a completely new state of mind that propels him to become a record-setting big wall climber. We'll be back with new episodes in your feed later this fall, but in the meantime, enjoy Maya's conversation with Tommy Caldwell, one of our favorite episodes from the archives. Connect with Maya on instagram @DrMayaShankar.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Psychologist Jamil Zaki studies the science of human connection and he believes cynicism is holding us back. Cynicism isn't just harmful for our health, he says, it’s also misguided. He talks to Maya about a powerful, alternative mindset that can help: what he calls “hopeful skepticism.” For more on hopeful skepticism, check out Jamil Zaki’s book “Hope for Cynics: The Surprising Science of Human Goodness.” See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Sometimes, even when things go precisely as you hoped they would, change hurts. Writer Kelly Corrigan talks to Maya about wrestling with the reality that her daughters' childhood was ending, and that her role as their parent had to transition, too. In this conversation from the archives, Maya and Kelly reckon with the question of what parents and children owe each other. For more on Kelly, check out her podcast, "Kelly Corrigan Wonders" and her PBS show, "Tell Me More." See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

U.S. track star Gabby Thomas recently won three gold medals at the Paris Olympics. To celebrate, we’re sharing Maya’s conversation with Gabby that took place shortly after the athlete’s Olympic debut in Tokyo. Gabby explains why her relationship with running isn’t as straightforward as you might think, and how competing interests have continually led her to question whether running is the path she wants to pursue. Connect with Maya on instagram @DrMayaShankar.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Just a few days after Kelsie first talked with Maya for the podcast, Kelsie's husband, Chris, was rushed to the hospital after he didn’t wake up from a nap. He died a few days later, as a result of complications from ALS. Eight months later, Kelsie reached out to say she wanted to share what life has been like for her since then, as she handles a new phase of mourning—what she calls “quiet grief.” To hear more from Kelsey, check out her podcast, “Sorry, I’m Sad.” If you want to hear more experiences of caregiving, you might also enjoy our episode, “I Gave Up Asking 'Why Me'?” Connect with Maya on instagram @DrMayaShankar.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

When Kelsie first met her co-worker Chris, she fell hard. They soon fell in love, got married, and had two kids. But then, Chris received a devastating diagnosis. In conversation with Maya, writer Kelsie Snow explores the complex grief of being both a wife and caregiver.  Note: this is part one of two conversations with writer Kelsie Snow. It was recorded in September 2023.  To hear more from Kelsey, check out her podcast, “Sorry, I’m Sad.”  Connect with Maya on instagram @DrMayaShankar.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A lot of chronic pain isn't actually caused by structural issues with the body, says psychotherapist Alan Gordon. Instead, it's often the brain misinterpreting safe bodily signals as dangerous. Alan joins Maya to explain a novel, research-backed approach to coping with chronic pain and guides her through an exercise to alleviate her persistent knee pain.  To learn more about Alan's work, check out his book "The Way Out: A Revolutionary, Scientifically Proven Approach to Healing Chronic Pain." If you liked this episode, listen to this one from our archive: “Getting My Silence Back.”See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Motherhood can be a time of profound internal upheaval, says clinical psychologist Molly Millwood. Molly offers an honest look at the transition into motherhood, drawing from scientific research, stories from her private practice, and her own experiences as a mother. She and Maya talk about how to navigate the grief, guilt, ambivalence, and other disorienting feelings that can often come up for new moms.  For more on Molly, check out her book “To Have and To Hold: Motherhood, Marriage, and the Modern Dilemma.” If you liked this episode, we recommend listening to “The Devastation of Things Going Exactly to Plan.”  Sign up for Maya's new newsletter here https://bit.ly/41lPqaZ and follow her on instagram @DrMayaShankar.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Swimmer Yusra Mardini grew up in Syria and dreamed of one day representing her home country at the Olympics. But when the civil war in Syria intensified, she fled the country and had to put that dream on hold. After escaping to Europe, she faced an unexpected opportunity. Yusra tells Maya the harrowing story of how she made it to safety, and then to the Olympic stage. Sign up for Maya's new newsletter here https://bit.ly/41lPqaZ and follow her on instagram @DrMayaShankar.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Brad Snyder was part of the U.S. Navy’s most elite bomb squad. In his role, he was rewarded for his intense independence. But after a bomb blast left him blind, he had to relearn how to depend on others. He talks with Maya about how embracing vulnerability helped him reach his dreams. Sign up for Maya's new newsletter here https://bit.ly/41lPqaZ and follow her on instagram @DrMayaShankar.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Swimmer Missy Franklin won four gold medals at her first Olympics. But as she trained for her second trip to the world stage, her mental health began to crumble. With so much to defend, the pool suddenly felt like a pressure cooker. She talks with Maya about coping with defeat and how she learned to value her identity outside of sports.  To hear more from Missy, listen to her podcast with Katie Hoff, Unfiltered Waters. Sign up for Maya's new newsletter here https://bit.ly/41lPqaZ and follow her on instagram @DrMayaShankar.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.