ABFM

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Episode 30: Climbing Mountains And Killing Nazis

2015-12-2432:10

365ish days later ABFM in a non sports fantasy manifestation returns! I still haven't had to cycle to work in the snow yet. Given the recent weather it's more surprising that I haven't had to scuba to work yet. Shitty weather jokes aside you may struggle to understand me. That's because I seem to have an issue with my voice. It doesn't work. No idea why. It doesn't hurt or anything. It's probably cancer. If there's no Christmas episode next year it's because I died of throat cancer despite never having smoked in my life. Ah irony. Playlist August Burns Red - Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer Run The Jewels - A Christmas Fucking Miracle Teen Top - Snow Kisses Kenny Chesney - All I Want For Christmas Is A Real Good Tan Liam Lynch - My United States Of Whatever <-- Lukes Yesteryear Martin Garrix - Animals In Christmas (DJ Florum Remix) Amarna Reign - Black Christmas BR1GHT PR1MATE - JOY2WRLD Hark! Are those the dulcet tone of DMX I hear?

Fantacast #7

2015-11-2854:03

Another slightly longer one after missing last week. All 3 of your standard hosts return though the clarity of Adam is a little shabby. Damn you internet! This week we chat. Scores, predictions and damn immigrants taking real American jobs.

Fantacast #6

2015-11-1335:55

Stoo and Matt again as the team utterly fail to organise themselves for one night a week. Potential hot topic of the month (Kangerlussuaq Victory) is barely touched... unlike a certain Eastern European lady friend last week. PSYCH! In other news the Fantasy Soccer is still going apparently as is the Pick Em.

Fantacast #5

2015-11-0601:06:21

The long awaited Wembley Special Edition Fantacast finally arrives. I say special edition because that makes it seem like it will be worth it. Mostly I just forgot to edit and post the thing. It is an hour long though to cover the week missed when we were at Wembley. This week we are joined by Matt to talk about his first experience of NFL Wembley and Scott to compare this years experience with last year. Long sentence. We also chat about who is terrible, Matts preference in female associates, a Kicker who only Adam will have heard of ideas for improving the league next season as well as briefly bemoaning the loss of EU Grifball. Scott also provides some sound effects.

Fantacast #4

2015-10-1643:06

Adam is back this week. He's dumping some BREAKING NEWS on us, though you will need to wait for a while before he drops it. As per usual we talk NFL, Premiership Fusball and also cycling. Particularity Matt's woeful cycling performances this summer. Later in the episode we sack it off and start talking youtube.

Fantacast #3

2015-10-1041:31

This week Nav stops by to tell us about her gross leg. Matt challenges Old Rich to a poetry slam and Taco struggles with Bot controlled teams. If we had a sponsor we would maybe mention it. But probably not because that shits lame. Besides we aren't corporate sell outs! Kanye West is a moron.

Fantacast #2

2015-10-0539:51

This week includes record breakers, music reviews, Cake vs Bortles, how to Irish, hot transfer news and Fantasy Soccerball. This week also features a distinct lack of Fuck Brady.

Fantacast #1

2015-09-2717:44

This is going out to the 12 members of the Beetle Vale American Football Fantasy League. The greatest American Football Fantasy League going. If your not in it get over it. We've decided to try some sports discussion revolving around fantasy potential and screw ups. This was the first time recording more than 2 people at once. As a result my levels were a little duff and I sort of warp in and out. It will be done properly next time.

Episode 29: The Smiling Man

2014-12-24--:--

These years. They wear on me. Did you know I cycle to work now? That's a thing I do. Still waiting for it to snow to see how I cope with that. Fortunately that hasn't happened yet. I know it's not impossible but living in South East Cambridge as opposed to say Quebec the chances of snow disruption to my commute are severely reduced. Even if it did snow it would be British snow so it wouldn't be a hassle anyway. Eoin, I didn't get a parcel from your mother yet. Is something wrong?

Episode 28: Batshit Chatrooms Of Doggerland

2014-12-08--:--

During one of the breaks I took whilst recording this episode I idly looked at the mouse I use with my laptop and realised it's the same one I've had since 2010. 4 Years is a long time to have a mouse. That reminded me that 2015 will be the 10 year anniversary of the formation of Alexander Beetle. The band for whom ABFM is named... That's something isn't it, that means there have been 9 solid years of references to Eoins mom!

Episode 27: Holes In The Moon

2014-09-29--:--

There are times when you know something historic went down and you wish you could have been there when the person who first suggested something epic did it. Like that one time someone was in a board room somewhere and said "People, listen. This gun has to fly. I know that we don't have an aircraft it will fit into so we build an aircraft around it". That was quite some time ago and the A10 is now being forcibly retired due to American budget cuts. A more recent example of this would be another meeting in another board room. The genius stands up... "People, listen. We dress everybody up to look like Hank Marvin, even a dog. Stay with me guys, stay with me. Then we get Danny Dyer to narrate it". They couldn't even stand up to applaud. Ears bled.

Episode 26: Victoria At Paddington

2013-12-2528:23

You probably won't have noticed but we have now switched the naming format of our episodes. That would be because we ran out of chapters for the book we were using. A long time ago we ran a competition where the winner would choose the new book to use for the episodes... no one entered so now that we've hit that point I just pulled out a book at random. So welcome to our new book Ack-Ack Macaque. Merry Fucking Christmas.

Episode 25: Crippled – Agent Tattletale

2013-11-2158:04

You know what winds me up? When people write “I never know what to put in these” in the bio section of a social network page. Though of late I haven’t seen much of that. Maybe it’s an age thing. Maybe the fact that nobody reads bios any more so no one bothers to even write that. All I know is I always bother to write something in here. It’s really easy too. You just mumble something that at least is vaguely correct structurally and then list the songs that appear in the episode. Though the fact that MS Word is throwing a load of green lines under lots of the above text would indicate the structure is not as good as I had hoped… No need to worry about that now though, we’re at the song listing part!

Episode 24: Speaking Bitterness – Comrade Snarky

2013-02-1453:56

I was going to get my Wife a Valentines gift this year. We don't normally do this because why should. I don't get here anything for the rest of the year so why should the 14th of February be any different? What I was going to get her was a really nice box and then fill it full of leaves. Then when she opened it and saw it she would go "What the fuck is this?" and I would go "I got that Bitch some leaves, cus Bitches love leaves" then I would have taken a photo like I did with that Burnt Face Man photo I took when she burnt her face. Apparently I'm going to pay for that. Going back to the leaves it seems my plan was foiled when I forgot that there are no leaves on the trees until like June. I really hate the South. Oh and Eoin, your mother is exempt from the buying shit on this day, there should be a bloke from InterFlora coming by at some point ;-)

Episode 23: Product Placement - Chef Assassin

2013-01-2755:57

Not as regular as the ABFM Christmas special or Eoins mom coming round my house but never-the-less still vastly important. The ABFM awards enters a second year and identifies almost none of what 2012 had to offer. I was looking for a good Ice Hockey advert and couldn't find any for this year. Then I remembered the season got locked out this year, just like the NFL reffs. You know who didn't get locked out? Ski Jumpers.

Episode 22: Civil Twilight - Sister Vigilante

2012-12-2456:02

3 days ago today I thought about making today’s episode. Today I made today’s episode. I’m proud of this continuing distribution of telling you what I like. By the way I’ve been drinking Gin, podcast production works best this way. This episode is mostly Rock orientated. I Googled “Country and Western Christmas songs” but then closed the tab when I realized I could also Google “Enormous Boobs” So I did that instead. Jingle bells indeed.

Episode 21: Ritual - The Matchmaker

2012-11-2901:01:54

10 months is a long time to go without an episode of ABFM. It might be more or less but that is the figure I'm settling on. But really you know whose fault it is? Yours. Literally less than 1 email containing nude photos of yourselves advertising your favourite podcast/radio show appeared in our inbox. Where's the motivation for us eh? Just be glad I found the Gangnam remix which appears at the end of the episode, that got me in the mood for sharing again... You do know that in the actual video the person dancing in yellow is a woman right?

Episode 20: Punch Drunk - Reverend Godless

2012-01-0226:58

I recently videoed a mug. Several weeks prior I videoed a trio of dancing moose. I once gave a speech about the plurality of a moose and now for the life of me I cannot remember what the official verbatim is, other than it's not meese. These is all a clever link into Christmas. You see it? No? Here I'll spell it: Mug -> Moose -> Canada -> Snow -> White Christmas. Now whilst I've kept you distracted with that I've pilfered your stocking. You didn't need any of that trash anyway. Just what I've left in it's place. A great big, steaming pile of ABFM Christmas episode.

Episode 19: Exodus - Director Denial

2011-12-0358:49

Remember how we promised to upload a bunch of episodes all in one go? Well we only recorded two and forgot to upload the second (this) one after uploading the first. Well now we remembered so here it is. Though if you are downloading this any time in the future other than now this doesn't really matter. Get over yourself.

Episode 18: Post Production - Mrs Clarke

2011-11-26--:--

So internet has returned to ABFM. Though if were honest. This doesn't necessarily mean that ABFM will be any more frequent. Just that we can't use a lack of internet as an excuse for a lack of itself. Anyway, an episode. Playlist: Ashes Divide - The Stone Dirt Bike Annie - Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things Oh Atoms - Sugar Mouse Mollies Way - The Great Deciever And I Looked And Beheld A Pale Horse... - From Here I Can See The Stars Pagan Wanderer Lu - Memorial Hall <-- Lukes Loved RushJet1 - Our Revolution Gramaphonzie - Why Don't You AnBerlin - A Whisper And A Clamour Radical Face - Welcome Home

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