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ALAB Series

Author: All Lawyers Are Bad

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An infrequent podcast series about the American legal system, brought to you by Andy, Michael, Tarik, Tim, and Nestor. ALAB aims to tell engaging stories about lawyers, legal cases, legal issues, or the legal profession more generally, with a focus on the outrageous, excessive, and/or absurd.
14 Episodes
Episode 14: Epstein's Bank

Episode 14: Epstein's Bank


Andy, Michael, Tarik, and Tim teach you how to run an effective Anti-Money Laundering operation, by exploring all the myriad ways that Deutsche Bank failed to do so, breaking the rules again and again in its stunning relationship with pedophile financier Jeffrey Epstein.
Michael, Tarik, and Tim explore the "Omegaverse" and find, among its other natural treasures, a nefarious tale of a plundering capitalist hell-bent on using the derricks of the law and courts to extract this magical land's value, to the exclusion of the communities that have tilled its soil for years.
Andy, Tarik, and Tim discuss NYU law professor Richard Epstein's one-man crusade to defeat COVID-19 using the powers of logic and debate, and the frightening things the resulting debacle says about the American legal academy.
Back in the innocent days of Episode 7, Andy, Michael, and Tarik thought that US economic sanctions policy had reached its apex of stupidity. But COVID-19, as it has with so many things, shows them that no, things can always get stupider. A lot stupider. Join them as they explore the "might makes right" underpinnings of international law from the American perspective.
Episode 10: Hard R

Episode 10: Hard R


The struggling BDS movement under legislative assault. The First Amendment increasingly used as a cynical deregulatory tool for big business. What's a legal scholar obsessed with free speech to do? That's right: drop the Hard R. Join Andy, Tarik, and Tim as they examine the current state of free speech in America.
Sure, presidential candidate Mike Bloomberg's apologies for his "stop and frisk" policies ring hollow on their face. But they're even worse when placed in the context of the systemic brutality of New York's street-to-Rikers Island pipeline. Andy, Tarik, and Tim walk through the morass of hard-fought litigation Bloomberg waged to defend that pipeline
Andy, Michael, and Tarik marvel at the spectacular rise, dizzying fall, and curious redemption of Ian Samuel, a legal yarn humming with powerful energies.
Andy, Michael, and Tarik look at United States economic sanctions laws, and in particular the decades-long embargoes imposed on Cuba and Iran.
Andy, Michael, and Tarik look at the Office of Legal Counsel, the elite unit within the US Department of Justice where the most elite legal minds in the country go to exchange their very souls for the promise of a life of ease and riches.
Episode 5: Weeb Wars, Pt. 2

Episode 5: Weeb Wars, Pt. 2


Weeb Wars concludes with a massive double episode - Tarik, forced to flee his home after being doxed by Law Twitter, joins Andy and Michael remote from an undisclosed location to finish their review of Vic Mignona's dismissed grudge lawsuit and where it goes from here. Audio engineering courtesy Aaron Oppenheim, find him on Twitter at
Andy, Michael, and Tarik play on the astroturf that is one of the more ill-considered lawsuits any ostensible lawyer has ever pushed a "client" to file: Vic Mignona's doomed lawsuit against the #metoo movement. (Part 1 of 2)
The perfect crime. The perfect criminal. The Perfect Client. Join us as Dr. Craig "Faketoshi" Wright's overweening self regard and cavalier disregard for truth careens headlong into a brick wall and he learns a costly lesson: that he is decidedly NOT the smartest man in the courtroom. Original intro theme courtesy Calming Chamber. Follow him on Twitter at and on Bandcamp at
Do you want to go to law school? Do you have a terminal case of Lawyer Brain? Andy, Michael, and Tarik describe the most optimal route to catching this debilitating affliction.
Tarik, Andy and Michael discuss Giuffre vs. Maxwell, the defamation case at the eye of the Jeffrey Epstein media storm.
Comments (1)

Bae Guevara

The host threatened to kill my dog.

Sep 20th
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