Above the Law - Thinking Like a Lawyer

Talking Supreme Court term limits (they're good!), bar exams (they're bad!), and a law professor's conception of free speech (it's ugly!). ----- The bar exam is officially past, now we wait to learn passed. This year's examination included dehydrating applicants and examinees missing out on their family's Olympic success. While bar exam changes are coming -- and law students can get paid to help -- at the end of the day it's a giant boondoggle pushed by people who've never even taken the test. With Supreme Court term limits on the table, let's talk a bit about how those work. And Jonathan Turley offers a disturbing look into his bizarro view of free speech.

Should we pay associates more and partners less? That's what this client thinks. Nikki Haley is threatening legal action against her supporters. Top notch politicking! Panel thinks that, maybe, a NY judge who threatened to shoot teenagers shouldn't stay on the job.

J.D. Vance brought Yale Law back into the spotlight. ----- As soon as J.D. Vance found himself on the GOP ticket, everyone who remembered him from his Yale Law days shared their thoughts and brought out their receipts. “JD’s rise is a triumph for angry jerks everywhere,” isn't a ringing endorsement. The campaign also tried to pull a fast one with some tricky phrasing about his time on the Yale Law Journal. Kirkland & Ellis adopts a carrot and stick approach -- rewarding associates for recruiting and punishing partners for leaving. And we talk about the Baldwin case.

They're not sending their best. ----- The Department of Justice has appointed special counsel to investigate politically charged cases for over a century. But Judge Aileen Cannon decided she has found a nugget of wisdom that every judge since the late 1800s overlooked and jettisoned Trump's classified documents case claiming that Jack Smith's was unconstitutionally appointed. Another of Trump's appointees stepped down after the circuit compiled nearly 1000 pages of misconduct allegations against him. And Northwestern's overwhelmingly white faculty isn't white enough for some and they've filed a lawsuit.   Cannon kindred Northwestern.

Where are those summer bonuses? Don't give up hope yet. ----- Law firms are rolling in dough as partners are charging more and billing more. But comparing Biglaw to the NBA? Come on, New York Times. Despite all the money, it's not trickling down to associates in the form of mass summer bonuses yet, though there may still be some green on the horizon. And why are certain people so angry about testing reform?

Textualism and Originalism evaporate in face of partisan objectives. ----- The Supreme Court closed out its season sidestepping text, precedent, and history -- the trifecta! -- to invent a new form of immunity to bail out Donald Trump. Weird, because so many of them were asked about this precise issue under oath and offered very different analysis. We also got January 6 legalized -- over the fiery dissent of Amy Coney Barrett -- the foundation of the administrative state thrown into chaos -- and a blessing for anyone who wants to make it illegal to be homeless.

Also, the Supreme Court's really sticking it to the Fifth Circuit. ----- We've got a few firms dipping into the summer bonus pool. But so far the pack hasn't followed them into the water. The Supreme Court continues to shoot down the Fifth Circuit, recognizing that politicians can't use false arrests to squelch free speech and using the Circuit to exorcise -- just a little -- their Second Amendment hangover. Is there anything normal about the YSL trial? The answer is no.

We talk about finding the right law school for you, and wonder how deep the SCOTUS drama goes. ----- The Above the Law Top 50 Law Schools ranking is here and this year it's putting power in the hands of the users. Meanwhile at the Supreme Court, ACB tells her colleagues that not every legal problem is a job for bad history. Sam and Martha-Ann Alito release Unplugged album, and it only took a matter of days into the Clarence Thomas Transparency Era for him to get caught covering up more gifts.

Except ATM machines have limits. ----- When ProPublica first reported that Clarence Thomas had taken half a million in gifts, it turns out they had only scratched the surface. New financial disclosures and some number-crunching from Fix the Court show that Thomas has taken over $5 million in gifts and likely gifts. Meanwhile, Ketanji Brown Jackson got roughly Beyonce tickets with a roughly $4000 face value. Meanwhile, there's a summer associate taking a horse and carriage to work and Columbia Law Review is finally back online after its board nuked the website over an article about Palestinian rights.

The Trump conviction excuse tour is not going well for his attorneys. ----- Donald Trump is now a convicted felon and everyone wants to know why his attorneys phoned in the defense. They... don't have good answers. At all. Continuing the Trump beat, Judge Aileen Cannon continued to display a delicate mix of cynical obstinance and outright incompetence, slow-playing a motion to keep Trump from publicly lying about the FBI and then asking for briefing on how the Supreme Court's CFPB case impacts the prosecution -- which it only could have if the Supreme Court came out the other way. And students no longer care about the USNWR rankings... but maybe there's a better measure of prestige.

An appeal to common sense is denied. ----- You might have thought flying a flag upside after January 6 would be the only "Sam Alito w/10 flag" story of the week, but you'd be wrong. The justice followed it up with another flag tied to the riots and got appropriately roasted over it all by Elena Kagan. Biglaw always paid well, but with partners crossing the $20 million compensation barrier, the structure of Biglaw inevitably shifts to accommodate the new normal. And a law school deals with the most avoidable cheating scandal ever.

Now, this is a story all about how Sam Alito's wife got flipped-turned upside down. ----- Sam Alito flew his flag upside down in the aftermath of the insurrection. He doesn't deny that, but he blames his wife for it. Dames, amirite? Aside from the obvious ethical issues implicated by having a Supreme Court justice visibly light in the "defending the Constitution against all enemies, foreign and domestic" department, why is Alito so objectively bad at responding to his scandals? Next thing you know, he'll be blaming her for the Dobbs leak too. Meanwhile the California bar exam is running into bankruptcy and rather than address the problem, the State Bar is just gonna kick the can further down the road. And Elon Musk's lawyers again earn their reputation as the gang that can't shoot straight, managing to Streisand Effect a dispute with a Delaware law expert by threatening to fire a Biglaw firm if the professor filed his brief.

Trump's attorneys seems as asleep at the switch as their client. ----- Having called Stormy Daniels a liar repeatedly in its opening, the Trump defense team was then shocked and appalled that the prosecution elicited testimony to rehabilitate her credibility. The hits didn't stop there as they attempted to get out of the mess they'd landed in by sex shaming someone whose sexuality is their whole business. Trump lawyers do a lot better when the judge is running their defense. Meanwhile, an organization moved to preemptively pare down Trump's SCOTUS shortlist to the least qualified, worst behaved candidates and its been a very Ponzi-rific week for one Biglaw firm.

Donald Trump, Drake, And James Ho... punchlines write themselves. ----- Donald Trump's trial shenanigans continue. Is he going to violate the gag order again? It seems inevitable but... our prediction might shock you! But even if his unfiltered "Truthing" is behind him, there are so many other ways to show contempt of court. And a busy week in Morningside Heights as Columbia Law School students ask school to cancel exams in light of campus unrest, or at a minimum convert its optional pass/fail model to mandatory pass/fail to avoid placing a stigma on worried students. Then conservative judges announced a boycott of Columbia until their demands for "viewpoint diversity" are met. Also, small talk becomes big diss track talk as we devote a whole segment to Drake and Kendrick going to war and the legal implications.

The New York courtroom where Donald Trump is on trial is apparently unpleasant. Is that the former president's doing? The world may never know. Also, the fact that the racists are coming for Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson isn't surprising -- but who gave them the green light? And, a judge learns a valuable lesson about hot mics and why you should always assume someone is listening.