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Absolutely Not

Author: Dear Media

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"Absolutely not" to legitimately everything.....Comedian Heather McMahan creates a safe-space for us to tell-all and bitch about the rest. No topics are off-limits as we break down the everyday struggles of doing the most, and the least, at the same damn time. Come for the humor, authentic discussion or call in the Hotline or should we say "Absolutely NOT-Line" with your life complaints. We will discuss it all. It's a joyful take on life's craziest moments.

252 Episodes
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Live from Down Unda

Live from Down Unda

2024-02-2148:07

Heather is live from Down Unda recording with a border collie at her feet as in Australia, dogs roam free. Heather talks about being a tourist in New Zealand from sight seeing to white wine for lunch. She also take your voicemails about your Aussie study abroad days, proves that digital cameras are back as well as shadowbans!Episode Sponsors:Get a taste of M. A hot new collection of craveable intimates from Maidenform, a brand with a whole lotta history. They’ve been around since the very first bras and now they’re bringing you a new kind of classic: the chicest basics you’ve ever seen. For more delicious details, check out Maidenform.comProduced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day

2024-02-1401:09:58

On this special Vday episode, Heather chats about meeting Jeff all those years ago. From the early dating years to the proposal, it was never a dull moment. She also takes your special Absolutely Not Valentines Day voicemails.Episode Sponsors:Shop poppi on Amazon for 15% off with code “ABSOLUTELY15” and in retailers nationwide.Try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D3+K2 AND for a limited time you'll get 10 free AG1 Trvel Packs with your first purchase at drinkG1.com/absolutelynotGo to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns.As a special off for listeners, new customers get 15% off ALL Lume products with our exclusive code and link - that's over 40% off their Starter Pack, too. Use code ABSOLUTELY5 for 15% off your first purchase at LumeDeoderant.com.Head over to AthenaClub.com to try their award-winning razor and body products and get 20% off your purchase with code ABSOLUTELY at checkout.Wherever you’re starting, get moving with a Peloton Bike or Bike+ rental at www.onepeloton.com/bike/rentals. Terms apply.Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
On this episode, Heather brings you on her wild ride from Vegas to the Grammys. From the truly bonkers characters in Vegas to her race to make the red carpet. Heather makes it just in time for her fabulous glam team to beat the face, throw on a gown and get mic’d up for music’s biggest night! Episode Sponsors:Go to squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.Treat yourself to the best bras on the market and save 20% off at honeylove.com/ABSOLUTELY.Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at TheFarmersDog.com/ABSOLUTELY.To find Truly Hard Seltzer near you, go to trulyhardseltzer.com/locations. Truly Hard Seltzer. Keep it Light.Go to BlueNile.com to find the perfect piece today.This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/ABSOLUTELY and get on your way to being your best self.Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
My Mom Loves You

My Mom Loves You

2024-01-3101:04:49

On this episode, Heather is back on the road. Her first shows back in 2024 were in Florida, so you know the wild ones were OUT! She then travels to Mississippi to attend the first Absolutely Not Podcast wedding. That's right - a love match from the pod to one of her oldest friends from college. While visiting Ole Miss, she finds out the moms are the true fans!Episode Sponsors:Get an exclusive 15% off your entire order when you use visit lolavie.com and use promo code ABSOLUTELY at checkout.Try AG1 and get a free 1-year supply of Vitamin D3+K2 and 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase exclusively at drinkAG1.com/absolutely.To find Truly Hard Seltzer near you, go to trulyhardseltzer.com/locastions. Truly Hard Seltzer. Keep it Light.Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to RocketMoney.com/absolutely.Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns.head to squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code ABSOLUTELY.Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
On this episode, the Absolutely Not Podcast welcomes the iconic comedian Anjelah Johnson. Anj and Heather do a deep dive on her start in the business and her journey to becoming a mom. This of course happens all while touring as a standup comedian and holding everyone else down. Sounds like someone else we all know and love! Episode Sponsors:Shop poppi on Amazon for 15% off with code "ABSOLUTELY15" and in retailers nationwide. Try AG1 and get a free 1-year supply of Vitamin D3+K2 and 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase exclusively at drinkAG1.com/absolutely.SKIMS Bras are now available at SKIMS.com. Plus, get free shipping on orders over $75.Head to squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% on your first purchase of a website or domain using code ABSOLUTELY.Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at TheFarmersDog.com/ABSOLUTELY. Plus, you get free shipping.Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Red Carpet Recap

Red Carpet Recap

2024-01-1758:07

On this episode, Heather recaps the first stop on her journey to the EGOT: the Emmys red carpet. She’s running you through what it took to be a journalist on one of the biggest nights in media, then hitting the DMs to answer your questions around what it was like to rub elbows with some of her favorite people in the industry.Episode Sponsors:Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @lumedeoderant and get $5 off your Starter Pack (that's over 40% off) with promo code ABSOLUTELY5 at LumeDeoderant.com! #lumepodWatch The Trust: A Game of Greed, now streaming only on Netflix.This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/ABSOLUTELY and get on your way to being your best self.To find Truly Hard Seltzer near you, go to trulyhardseltzer.com/locations. Truly Hard Seltzer. Keep it Light. Truly Hard Seltzer Beverage Company. Boston, Massachusetts. Please Drink Responsibly.Experience the ease and convenience of shopping Blue Nile today, at Blue Nile. the original online jeweler. Go to BlueNile.com to find the perfect piece today.Visit CBDistillery.com and use code ABSOLUTELY for 20% off.Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Sexy B*tch Energy

Sexy B*tch Energy

2024-01-1001:06:201

2024 vision board episode is here! Heather dives in on the goals for the year and lets you know the tips and tricks to a successful vision board manifestation. Get your magazines, inspirational quotes and glue stick ready, honey! She also has time for some voicemails where you all are doing the most! By the end of the episode you will be motivated and ready to bring that Gypsy Rose Energy to 2024.  Episode Sponsors:Shop poppi on Amazon for 15% off with code “ABSOLUTELY” and in retailers nationwide.Try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D3+K2 and 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase exclusively at drinkAG1.com/absolutely.Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to RocketMoney.com/absolutely.Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns.Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at TheFarmersDog.com/absolutely.Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
New Year, Same Me

New Year, Same Me

2024-01-0301:09:20

We are one earthquake and black swan event from the end, but 2024 is bringing new beginnings and an attitude of gratitude! On this episode, Heather dissects Jack Harlow lyrics, takes questions from instagram, and hears about your holiday through absolutely not voicemails.Episode Sponsors:Right now, BÉIS is offering my listeners 15% off your first purchase by visiting BEISTravel.com/ABSOLUTELYShop poppi on Amazon for 15% off with code“ABSOLUTELY15” and in retailers nationwide.Right now, Modern Fertility is offering my listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutelyHead to Squarespace.com for a free trial. and when you're ready to launch go to Squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.rts with AG1. Try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D3K2 AND 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase ad drinkAG1.com/absolutely.Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy good at TheFarmersDog.com/absolutely.Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather is wrapping 2023 up with none other than the one and only Raymond Padilla. They’re giving you all of the roses, thorns, highs and the lows of what has been one of their wildest years yet.Episode Sponsors:Go to BEISTRAVEL.com/ABSOLUTELY for 15% off your first purchase.Go to drinkAG1.com/absolutely to get a free 1-year supply of Vitamin D3K@ and 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase.To learn more about microdosing THC go to Microdose.com and use code: absolutely to get free shipping & 30% fff your first order.This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/ABSOLUTELY and get on your way to being your best self.Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Leading the Sleigh

Leading the Sleigh

2023-12-2001:09:22

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather is here to set the record straight before we finish up the holiday season. After reminding you who really gets sh*t done around here, she’s back on the hotline to address a grandpa accidentally sending porn to the whole family, a Diet Coke-shaming stewardess, and so much more.Episode Sponsors:Go to Squarespace.com for a free trial and when you're ready to launch go to squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.Go to drinkAG1.com/ABSOLUTELY to get a free 1-year supply of Vitamin D and 5 Free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase.Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns.Visit sharkclean.com and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout for 20% off your purchase of a Shark NeverChange Air Purifier. Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food plus free shipping at TheFarmersDog.com/absolutely.Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather is joined by the hilarious Rosebud Baker to talk comedy, SNL, balancing it all with being a new mom, and why it’s all worth it. They're here, they’re tired, and they're still doing the most.Episode Sponsors:Go to drinkAG1.com/ABSOLUTELY to get a free 1-year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase.Visit BetterHelp.com/ABSOLUTELY today to get 10% off your first monthRight now, BÉIS is offering our listeners 15% off your first purchase by visiting BEISTRAVEL.com/ABSOLUTELY.Go to tryarmra.com/ABSOLUTELYNOT or enter ABSOLUTELYNOT to get 15% off your first order.Head to FactorMeals.com/absolutely50 and use code absolutely50 to get 50% off.Visit Sharkclean.com and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout for 20% off your purchase of the Shark NeverChange Air Purifier.Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
You've Done Enough

You've Done Enough

2023-12-0601:07:18

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is crawling out of her deathbed and fighting through the tail-end of the flu to give you your weekly dose of unsolicited advice and remind you that end of the day, you earned the right to chill the f*** out. Between getting conned out of birthday money for years and influencers risking their lives for content, it's clear that everyone has done enough.Episode Sponsors:Go to DiviOfficial.com/ABSOLUTELEY or enter ABSOLUTELY at checkout for 20% off your first order.New to Etsy? Use code HOLIDAY10 for 10% off your first purchase at Etsy.comCheck out Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you're ready to launch go to squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at TheFarmersDog.com/absolutelyIf you want to take ownership of your health, try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at drinkAG1.com/ABSOLUTELY.Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Voicemail Confessions

Voicemail Confessions

2023-12-0456:03

Welcome back to the Absolutely Not broadcast, this week Heather answers your wild voicemailsProduced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Thanksgiving Unhinged

Thanksgiving Unhinged

2023-11-2901:06:26

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather's got a lot to unpack. We're talking nervous breakdowns before the holiday festivities, Scarlet taking a tumble, and that's before we even hit the hotline. This Thanksgiving brought all of the family drama and Heather brought all of the answers.Episode Sponsors:Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food plus FREE shipping at TheFarmersDog.com/absolutely.Try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D3K2 AND 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at drinkAG1.com/absolutely.Go to Zbiotics.com/ABSOLUTELY to get 15% off your first order when you use ABSOLUTELY at checkout.Visit Sharkclean.com and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout for 20% off your purchase of the Shark NeverChange Air Purifier.To learn more about microdosing THC go to Microdose.com and use code absolutely to get free shipping and 30% off your first order.Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
On this episode, the iconic, fearless, bad ass Jane Fonda stops by the studio. Heather and Jane talk about her life and what it means to be a boss babe and living legend even when it seems the world is against you.Episode Sponsors:Head to squarespace.com/absolutely to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.If you want to take ownership of your health, try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at drinkAG1.com/ABSOLUTELY.Go to diviofficial.com/ABSOLUTELY or enter ABSOLUTELY at checkout for 20% off your first order.Go to quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns.Go to tryarmra.com/ABSOLUTELYNOT or enter ABSOLUTELYNOT to get 15% off your first order.Exclusively for Absolutely Not listeners, Fable Pets is offering a 20% site-wide discount and up to 35% off sets at fablepets.com/absolutelyProduced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is here to carry you through your Thanksgiving prep with the surprise bonus you need to get through the weekend. She’s jumping back into the DMs to answer all of your burning questions and give a little more unsolicited advice. Need help getting ready to deal with the family? Are you stressed because you still don't have the turkey order in yet? Wondering what Heather's "F***, Marry, Kill" is when it comes to the holiday meats? You came to the right place.Episode Sponsor:Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food PLUS free shipping at TheFarmersDog.com/absolutely.Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
On this episode, Heather recaps the special taping in her hometown in Atlanta at the iconic Fox Theatre. However, there's no sleep over in these parts! While answering the voicemails, she talks about her time up in Athens for College Gameday and the insecurity of some men on instagram after seeing nipples on TV. Episode Sponsor:If you want to take ownership of your health, try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 Free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at DrinkAG1.com/ABSOLUTELYRight now, Modern Fertility is offering my listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutelyGrab your Liquid I.V. Hydration Multiplier Sugar-Free in bulk nationwide at Costco, or you can get 20% off when you go to LiquidIV.com and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout.This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Find your bright spot this season, with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/absolutely to get 10% off your first month.As a special offer for listeners, new customer get $5 OFF a Lame Starter Pack with code ABSOLUTELY at LumeDeodorant.com and for a limited time return customers get $5 off their next purchase of $30 or more too!Visit sharkclean.com and use code ABSOLUTELY for 20% off your order.Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is back from an emotional rollercoaster of a weekend, and joined by everyone’s favorite diva, Robin McMahan. Heather helps her prep for a date with a silver fox in LA (which unfortunately doesn’t go down), but Robin is still here dishing all of the sage advice - both on and off the hotline. Episode Sponsors:Head to Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you're ready to launch go to Squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code ABSOLUTELY.Go to tryarmra.com/ABSOLUTELYNOT or enter ABSOLUTELYNOT to get 15% ff your first purchase.My listeners get 15% off your first order when you use my code ABSOLUTELY at jennikayne.comGo to Zbiotics.com/ABSOLUTELY to get 15% off your first order when you use ABSOLUTELY at checkout.New to Etsy? Use the code HOLIDAY10 for ten percent off your first purchase at Etsy.comVisit sharkclean.com and use code ABSOLUTELY for 20% off your order.Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Hot Takes in Hotlanta

Hot Takes in Hotlanta

2023-11-0101:09:01

On this episode, Heather reminisces about Halloween's past, early 2000's hits from 50 cent and B*Witched and other Hot Takes from yall on instagram. Then she hits the hotline to hear more of your voicemails on amazon wish lists, dog poop and gets reminded that she never sent her wedding thank you cards. Episode Sponsors:Discover new ways to shop everything, every day, at Saks.comGo to DiviOfficial.com/ABSOLUTELTY or enter ABSOLUTELY at checkout for 20% off your first order.Find your forever pieces @jennikayne and get 15% off with promo code ABSOLUTELY at jennikayne.com/ABSOLUTELY! #jennikaynepartnerExclusively for Absolutely Not listeners, Fable Pets is offering a 20% site-wide discount. Visit www.fablepets.com/Absolutely for more information.Go to Zbiotics.com/ABSOLUTELY to get 15% off your first order when you use ABSOLUTELY at checkout.Head to factormeals.com/absolutely50 and use code absolutely50 to get 50% off.Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
DO. BETTER.

DO. BETTER.

2023-10-2501:14:59

On this episode, Heather gives thanks to all of you hussies who watched the special, gets brought back down to reality by Robin after being on the road for weeks and gets some unsolicited advice her DM's. Rounding out the spiral, she gets into the voicemails where one fans admits that she is also trying to do better. Episode Sponsors:Go to zbiotics.com/ABSOLUTELY to get 15% off your first order when you use ABSOLUTELY at checkout.Right now, Modern Fertility is offering my listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutelyGo to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns.Discover new ways to shop for everything, every day, at Saks.comExclusively for Absolutely Not listeners, Fable Pets is offering a 20% site-wide discount at fablepets.com/absolutelyGrab your Liquid I.V. Hydration Multiplier Sugar-Free in bulk nationwide at Costco, or you can get 20% off when you go to LiquidIV.com and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout.Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Comments (35)

Ashley hill

💚WATCH>>ᗪOᗯᑎᒪOᗩᗪ>>LINK>👉https://co.fastmovies.org

Feb 5th
Reply

Julie Espin Myers

Heather, you are so fun! My husband and I were at the Indy show. This place is always a mixed bag of tricks, but having you come laugh with/at us, makes it better!! Love and light to you and yours! 😘😘 ps. Macaroni is adorable!!!!!

Feb 16th
Reply

Kandis

I ABSOLUTELY love listening to your podcast and look forward to the next. I also love the shopping with your dad story and how his positivity helped you to grow up as the strong, confident and hilarious woman you are! Thank you for sharing your life with us! Keep up the good work!

Nov 30th
Reply

levans8381

One of the funniest episodes ever! i would love to see Derek the valet as a podcast guest.

May 1st
Reply

levans8381

the first 20 minutes was so funny! keep it coming Heather!

Feb 2nd
Reply

levans8381

this episode made me laugh out loud. Great dynamic and Robin has hilarious insight.

Dec 25th
Reply

Jessica Goehler

Girl! ABSOLUTELY NOT to post Covid fatigue! But ABSOLUTELY YES to recovery! Love and Light from Chicago!

Feb 3rd
Reply

Sherry Cain-Walther

"Damn That's Hot!" is freaking hilarious!

Sep 16th
Reply

Jackie allen

abso fucking lutely YES to being SOO ANNOYED these fuckers half- ass research and then say they have a fucking surprise. I would have immediately blown up if he threw that Cartier box at me and then asked for a fucking sandwich! Absolutely not.

Jul 8th
Reply

Jackie allen

HEATHER! COME BACK TO US!

Jun 17th
Reply

MichelleA03

I’m loving this podcast. Yass!! Sending love from Ohio!!

May 24th
Reply

nlc2m5

true. true. true. on the Nordstrom Cafe. 100%. handsdown.

Jan 14th
Reply (1)

Kat

Thank you for turning me on to Megababe! I tried them all and this non aluminum deodorant is the best! got my man the ball powder too💜💜💜💜

Dec 25th
Reply (1)

Nichole mazza

So True! Have some respect for her! It takes alot to perform in front of all of us. 💯

Dec 7th
Reply

Lisa Longley

Best episode yet! You ARE A WARRIOR!! Glad you’re feeling better!!

Oct 31st
Reply (1)

Malia

Heather you're good but I didn't really care for your point of view with this podcast. I usually love listening to your podcasts but this one sounded like two privileged white girls. I had to stop listening bc it was just terrible. Jokes can be dark but we as females need to change the culture for other females and stand up to men. Saying "oh he learned that rape was bad" is promoting that men can get away with it. We all know rape or any force of sexual activity is bad from the start and if you do it or continue to do it. Then yes, you should be punished.

Sep 27th
Reply (2)

Jessica Taylor

anyone else hear an annoying sound during this ep? I wish I couldve listened to the whole thing but it got annoying. unless it was just my phone?? lmk if anyone had that issue. :)

Sep 18th
Reply

Kerry Toth

Amazing

Sep 17th
Reply

Kay williams

Like....so anyway. Like, here’s the thing, like... well, like......

Aug 24th
Reply

Cliffy B.

Ep6 You had me at “I can’t be around crackheads anymore” & “lumber sexual”

Aug 3rd
Reply
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