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In this podcast I deconstruct the romanticism holding up the adoption industry and expose the lies, abuse, and pain that gets silenced. I'm here to unwrap the shiny bow around adoption and speak my truths as an adoptee. In doing so, I explain what it means and what it feels like to “come out of the fog”. This isn't your feel good podcast, I am an angry, healing and honest adoptee.
34 Episodes
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Send us a Text Message.Mila's Truth: Navigating Adoption, Liberation, and CommunityThe Church does an excellent job of silencing you if you oppose them. They’d even hire a marketing company to rebrand adoption so that their business as adoption middlemen can continue to thrive. But, it’s not just the Church. The dominant culture is to silence anyone who speaks up against adoption. To make them feel shame. To gaslight them. That was Mila Konomos’ experience once she realized how adoption has w...
Send us a Text Message.My Journey To AbolitionEvery adult in my childhood has failed me, none of them did what they’re supposed to. Every part of the system failed me…it did exactly what it’s supposed to. The system kills children and breaks families, it must be abolished. In this episode, I share how I gradually evolved towards this deep belief starting from a school trip to juvie when I was just 10. I talk about my encounters with the family policing system growing up and how it failed me.&...
Send us a Text Message.Josh LamersAdoption is trauma. How do we help surviving children heal the wounds they’ve sustained from the child welfare system? Josh Lamers, a transracial adoptee, is public enemy #1 for child welfare agencies in Canada. He joins the show to discuss what adoption and child welfare are like in Canada; and how his organization, Collective of Child Welfare Survivors, advocates for child welfare survivors though addressing harm reduction, counseling, unpacking racial disp...
Send us a Text Message.Adoptees & Community Before I found other adoptees online I was lost. I wanted to know where I came from, and I wanted to know others like me. Most adoption communities center adoptive parents and foster parents. We are left out of the picture. This doesn’t make sense. This episode is a collection of my thoughts on this matter. “One of the most vital ways we sustain ourselves is by building communities of resistance; places where we know we are not alone.”...
Send us a Text Message.Confronting the Racist Legacy of the American Child Welfare SystemIt was when Alan arrived at a home with the cops to remove a child and heard his mother say “Charles, run, they're coming to take you and they're going to sell you to the white people” that he realized how the trauma of slavery cannot be disentangled from the trauma of family separation. It was in this moment that he realized the harm he’s done to many families and decided to take a different path. Today,...
Send us a Text Message.Unveiling Roots: The Journey of Gregory D. Luce, Attorney and Advocate for Adoptee RightsUs adoptees have to pay thousands of dollars and jump through hoops to unseal our records. This robs us of autonomy, dignity, and equality. Gregory D. Luce is an attorney who helps adoptees all across the US go through this hurdle.In this episode we discuss Greg’s personal adoption journey that made him so passionate about adoptee rights. We also discuss the important work tha...
1Send us a Text Message.Torn Apart: How the Child Welfare System Destroys Black Families--and How Abolition Can Build a Safer WorldMore than anyone else, black women get their children kidnapped by the state, by the child “welfare system”. This episode is about the whys and hows of abolishing a system built to strip families away from their children. Through discussing Torn Apart by Dr. Dorothy Roberts, we examine the history and laws that have led to the birth of armed and violent social...
Send us a Text Message.Reuniting with his birth family showed John McCormick, a transracial adoptee, a new world. He physically felt a relaxation he had never felt before, he connected with music and art like never before, and he started to own who he is - confidently - even when others denied his identity.This is the story of how John’s reunion with his bio family was a healing journey that led him to reclaim an identity he was stripped of. What we discussed (00:26) Finding his fam...
Send us a Text Message.Emily's Journey: Identity, Language Learning, and Adoption RealitiesAfter 9 months of living with monks, Emily Harris was adopted from China. She was left behind by her bio family due to the One Child Policy. To process her loss of identity, she has started to learn Chinese with a community of adoptees. In this episode, she talks about how language learning helps, why she wishes she was white, and the hardships of being a Chinese adoptee in the US.What we di...
Send us a Text Message.LinaThough Lina Vanegas was born to a Colombian family, she was forced to assimilate as a white jewish person. 38 years later, she’s unable to fully connect with her bio family nor speak their language. Forced assimilation is trauma. Her mission is to educate people on adoption trauma. In the episode, she gives a crash course on why adoption is trauma, what to do if you want to adopt in a trauma-informed way, and how to go down the rabbit hole of being adoption-tra...
Send us a Text Message.Navigating the Complex World of Adoption: Unveiling Azriel June's JourneyThey were told they’re white. They aren’t. They were told they’re Jewish. They aren’t. They tried to erase her heritage over and over again. They couldn’t…so they “gave her back”. This is the story that explains how US adoptions human rights violations - they’re genocide. This is Azriel’s story - a transcultural adoptee from a loving first family who has been systemically preyed upon by the ad...
Send us a Text Message.Should you cut off your adoptive parents? Should you “go no contact” with your adoptive parents?“Oh hell no. Not this time. I’m done.” That’s what we felt before cutting off contact with your adoptive parents. Sometimes, the healthies thing we can do is to go no contact with our adoptive parents. Escaping abuse. Escaping racism. Escaping pain. In this episode we share what made us go no contact, discuss what it’s like, and share our personal advice to adoptees...
Send us a Text Message.Reclaiming Identity: Dr. Amy Ritterbusch on International Adoption & AbolitionDr. Amy Ritterbusch was stolen from Colombia as a child and forced to live in the United States with her adoptive family. Foreign land, foreign people, foreign language. But, her longing for where she came from and who she came from never died. She spent the rest of her life trying to find her way back home. In this episode, we discuss international adoption and less violent alte...
Send us a Text Message.Navigating Holidays as an Adoptee: Exploring Complex Emotions & Self CareFor adoptees, holidays mean performance. Acting like you care, acting like you’re happy, acting like you’re grateful. And if you don’t perform, then you live in guilt. It’s ironic, because adoption itself is an act. Join us as we explore this and discuss what holidays are like for us adoptees. What we discussed (00:38) Father’s day for adoptees (08:01) Mother’s day for ...
Send us a Text Message.Adoptee Origin Story: Ayomide BeeIs Adoption Human Trafficking? With Ayomide BeeSelling children is human trafficking, so why isn’t adoption considered human trafficking? It’s state-sanctioned trafficking with a paper trail. Ayomide Bee shares her adoption story as a queer transracial adoptee. Her take is not only that same-sex couples shouldn’t adopt - but that adoption should be abolished. Listen to her origin story & views. “Just because it's ...
Send us a Text Message.Activism For Adoptees With Erica BabinoWhat’s it like to be an activist for adoptees? What’s the story of someone who is an adoptees activist? How would you feel if you discovered that your bio mom lives on your street, after you’ve been searching for her for 25 years? This week, we speak to Erica Babino a Black same race adoptee who is a former American Adoption Congress Board Member. We discuss if it’s possible to ever separate your identity from being adopted, a...
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