All the Fucks

Today, we're playing coy about some exciting stuff on the horizon--but definitely not about strange men on the street who sneak up on you! Fuckbuddies, join Jen + Lillian today as we take you through some of our most magical places and spaces of youth--from bedrooms (your own or your bestie's), to public libraries, to forest forts, come remember our incubators of this exact brand of feral insanity. And don't forget--plug in the fairy lights, death to the big light!

Well fuckbuddies, this episode feels a little bit like wearing crotchless Spanx. Or a snap-bottom leotard. Or a boilersuit that you can't get off when you have to pee! Jen & Lillian get hot under the collar of all things uncomfortable--air travel, Atlantic City casinos, parking garages, field days (50/50), and walking in full sunlight. Kick back somewhere soft and be glad you're not there!

Yo ho ho and a freezer full of Viennetta, fuckbuddies! Your pals Jen + Lillian are nostalgic for sweet moments of yore--both the frozen dessert and cult classic VHS variety. Only Charles Grodin's winning performance in 1993's CLIFFORD can save us from the woes of AI slop, class action lawsuits over dubious weight loss drugs, "cringe culture," and the constant disappointment of gig-based food delivery.

What We Did on our Summer Vacation, by: Jen and Lillian! Summer 2025 has been a swampy, wet mess--between poop cruises and killer rip currents and planes falling out of the sky, has there been much time for revelry? Sometimes your bad luck saves you from your worse luck, Fuckbuddies. Let's make our own fun with ren faire raves, sketchy indie waterparks, and cobbling together public transportation from eBay!

Oh boy fuckbuddies, this one is a sausagefest! Two queer femmes walk into a Pittsburgh greasy spoon… and immediately find themselves in the middle of a flirtatious restaurant encounter, the halls of a haunted hot dog king, and the Warhol Museum’s most wonderfully weird exhibits. Roll through the Hot Dog Country of Jersey with Jen + Lillian, waxing rhapsodic over being clocked as femmes, retro butch cruising, and Pittsburgh potties. Plus: cutting class to get YOCCO'D, ditz camp, and the tale of the Worst Lobster Ever Painted by Warhol and Basquiat.It’s equal parts queer joy, hot dog rapture, and forever-weird Pennsylvania (served with a side of mustard relish).

We're back today with a blast from the past, fuckbuddies! If this sounds like old news, it is--a lost episode from Summer 2024 that was finally ready for her big debut. This time last year, we're talking shady Jersey City politicos, summer fun in the Pine Barrens, and the heartbreaking fate of space robots.

Hear that clickety-clack, fuckbuddies? Join Jen + Lillian in a free-fall rollercoaster frenzy of stickers from our youth, a rabid case of acrophobia, and the jolt of pure adrenaline that is summer!

Like a morning glory, today Jen + Lillian discuss a topic near and dear to our hearts: queer late bloomers! As fat femmes, we get really granular with how and why queerness can stay elusive for so long (hint: you know it's fatphobia and misogyny!). Come for the TED Talk, stay for the wayward perms and butch longing. PS - It's Babies' First Episode on new software, so we know this one sounds a little funky! We'll get it much better next time.

It's non-binary awareness week, and Jen + Lillian devote this episode to all the theydys and gentlethems! Hop on a (basically free) crosstown bus with us as we yap about stranger danger, the gorgeous spirit that is-was-will-always-be poet laureate Andrea Gibson, and how viscerally hot female train conductors are.

It's a kink potluck, fuckbuddies! Join Jen + Lillian for a nerdy breakdown of all the hottest proclivities this summer has to offer: feet pics, cake-sitting, and barbershop music.

Where were YOU in 1999, fuckbuddies? Because Jen + Lillian were exactly where you'd look for them: pining, and pining hard. Today we read you excruciating, mortifying passages from our journals, ripped from moments better left forgotten in high school and college. Hear about Secret Admirer fails, drunken Florida men, and some choice poetry from angsty beatnik Lillian Bustle. For tickets to BOUNCE HOUSE on June 28: tinuryl.com/bounceshow

It's a wild, expansive midsummer out there, fuckbuddies--and Jen + Lillian are here to sweat it out with you! From Pride events to a brand new Bounce House; from feature films to Y2K dance parties--we get dreamy about all the fun (and boob sweat) to come.

A late-season cold snap brings Jen + Lillian right back to the archives of Jezebel's scary stories! We'll set your spinal stun gun to 'tingle' with tales of nefarious Germans, Amityville apparitions, and sinister Lake Superior. Who wants chili?

Follow your nose, wherever it goes! For Jen + Lillian, it's a walk down memory lane from their salad days at LUSH, a top-secret speakeasy perfume gallery, and the magic of Special Little Treats.

2025: What a time to be alive! Jen + Lillian reconvene after a thrilling off-Broadway production, melt into their couches and watch both good and terrible TV, and grapple with some hard shit.

Hey fuckbuddies! It's a little amuse bouche from your fab fat besties! We've been busy getting Maiden Mother Crone ready for its off-Broadway run, but we're here to invite you to play with us this Sunday, January 19th, for some riotously fun Jackbox Games! If that doesn't work for you, you can always donate to our Fractured Atlas, or come to the show this February at The Flea!

Happy spoOoOoky Halloween, fuckbuddies! Here’s to another year on the ol’ hayride with Jen + Lillian, with stories to tingle your toes and freeze your bones! But really--is anything scarier than Temu?

It's a new dawn, fuckbuddies--well, maybe? We'll see? Today, Jen + Lillian wax cautiously-optimistic as we discuss the DNC, the agony of confronting your attachment issues, and rage over the decades of buffoonery and quackery that have masqueraded as women's health. Grab your hand mirrors, dive into this episode, and get ready to find your clit!

There's nowhere to go but down when it comes to these delivery apps, Fuckbuddies. Join Jen + Lillian as they break out the Mortified card game, I Can't Believe I Did That, and spin tales of concealed weapons, prom dress flops, jazz hands, and psychotic teachers.

Wrap a flag around you and hop in the Seine, fuckbuddies--today, Jen + Lillian are discussing all things Olympics! From teams who are definitely fucking, to the uncontested Best Event Ever, to the sexual awakening that is women's rugby--your best theatre kid friends are here to make the Olympics hornier than ever. Viva la France!