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Allyship is a Verb
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Allyship is a Verb
Author: Charlie Ocean, MSW (they/them)
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© Charlie Ocean, MSW (they/them)
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People want to do better, but they don’t always know how. Allyship is a Verb is a 4x award-nominated (and now award-winning!) podcast featuring conversations with LGBTQ+ community members of various lived experiences and backgrounds who share their stories and an allyship tip. The host is a silly, warm human who offers self-reflection questions and voiceovers to help deepen the learning for listeners. The host is Charlie Ocean, MSW (they/them), who has a background in LGBTQ+ education, community organizing, and social work.
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The giveaway is over, but you can still head to the merch shop!This week, Molly Rix (she/her) steps out from behind the scenes as our audio engineer to become a guest who shares her story publicly for the first time. In this episode, you will learn: 1. How an innocent question over her 2020 birthday weekend changed her entire life 2. What it's been like looking for different pockets of community as she has been reinventing herself 3. Why re-entering the dating pool was intimidating🎙️ Connect with Molly:Sky Ripper on SpotifyHost Charlie Ocean, MSW (they/them), has a background in LGBTQ+ training, community organizing, and technology. Guest episodes feature at least one allyship tip, including tailored questions based on the guests' unique intersecting identities. You can follow Charlie on Instagram, LinkedIn, and Substack.
Podcast merch!!!Book a free discovery call for programming for Pride Month (and beyooooond!).This week, Ed Carratalà (he/him/él) updates us on transitioning from formerly teaching about LGBTQ+ communities privately to now openly offering it. In this episode, you will learn: 1. How creating a new queer community in Barcelona, Spain was sparked by former guest Charlie's Everywhere is Queer resource 2. What new therapy project is in the works 3. Why he continues to share that he's bi and field questions🎙️ Connect with Ed:InstagramTwitterHis research page (in Catalan) and GRPF: Couples and Family Research GroupHost Charlie Ocean, MSW (they/them), has a background in LGBTQ+ training, community organizing, and technology. Guest episodes feature at least one allyship tip, including tailored questions based on the guests' unique intersecting identities. You can follow Charlie on Instagram, LinkedIn, and Substack.
Book a free discovery call for programming for Pride Month (and beyoooond!).Bring Allyship is a Verb to your workplace at a special rate.This week, Dr. Trisha Wallis (she/her) shares how two years of work led up to the passing of California Senate Bill 372, a great example of the "Curb Cut" effect. You will learn: 1. Why the identities lesbian and queer don't fully fit, prompting her to use both, depending on the situation // 2. What "recruiting" looks like, including versions 2.0 and 3.0 // 3. How she leverages her privilege and access to do the most good, and what she does to check herself and keep the work moving forward🎙️ Connect with Trisha:InstagramHost Charlie Ocean, MSW (they/them), has a background in LGBTQ+ training, community organizing, and technology. Guest episodes feature at least one allyship tip, including tailored questions based on the guests' unique intersecting identities. You can follow Charlie on Instagram, LinkedIn, and Substack.
Please note: This is another replay due to a super busy past few weeks. 💜 This episode is from Season 2, so you'll hear my previous name. All replay slots will be extended with original episodes, I promise! 😊This week, Rebecca Kling (she/her) discusses creating inclusive summer camps for LGBTQ+ youth where they can be themselves without making everything about being from the LGBTQ+ community. In this episode, you will learn 1. What conversations are coming up at summer camps 2. How B'Mitzvahs/B'nai Mitzvahs may differ from Bar and Bat Mitzvahs 3. When we might engage in understanding and empathic conversations and when it's time to disrupt and agitate for change.🎙️ Connect with Rebecca to learn more about + support her work:MastodonLinkedInWebsiteCo-Founder of Better World Collaborative💻 Sources and resources from this episode:TransTorahCelebrating the Age of Mitzvah: A Guide for all Genders | KeshetHost Charlie Ocean, MSW (they/them), has a background in LGBTQ+ training, community organizing, and technology. Guest episodes feature at least one allyship tip, including tailored questions based on the guests' unique intersecting identities. You can follow Charlie on Instagram, LinkedIn, and Substack. *You will hear Charlie's former name in this episode and previous ones.*
Take the Ace Flag Revision SurveyThis week, Ashabi Owagboriaye (she/they) shares the meaning behind the white stripe in the ace flag and why she’s launched an ace flag survey as a result. You will learn: 1. What they think about the intersection of transness and asexuality 2. Why openness can influence somebody and carry a generation in either direction if you’re not careful 3. How it feels like to have people come to them as an elder queer🎙️ Connect with Ashabi:Ace In Grace | Instagram💻 Sources and resources:I Am Cait | IMDBMiss Representation | IMDBShare the Ace Flag Revision Survey Instagram postYasmin Benoit | InstagramRefusing Compulsory Sexuality: A Black Asexual Lens on Our Sex-Obsessed Culture by Sherronda J BrownHost Charlie Ocean, MSW (they/them), has a background in LGBTQ+ training, community organizing, and technology. Guest episodes feature at least one allyship tip, including tailored questions based on the guests' unique intersecting identities. You can follow Charlie on Instagram, LinkedIn, and Substack.
Sign up for the AIAV newsletter!This week, Sarah Gilbert (she/her) shares the story of how a random question Charlie asked a few years ago sparked a journey of self-discovery. You will learn: 1. What two pieces of advice she offers others wondering if they might be LGBTQ+ 2. How it feels to be a long-time LGBTQ+-affirming therapist learning later in life that she's queer and some of the fears and hesitations she's had around claiming the term 3. Why icons like Freddie Mercury have inspired her and how queer spaces like bars, drag shows, and musical theater feel comforting and joyful🎙️ Connect with Sarah:Transitions Therapy LLCSarah Gilbert CoachingHost Charlie Ocean, MSW (they/them), has a background in LGBTQ+ training, community organizing, and technology. Guest episodes feature at least one allyship tip, including tailored questions based on the guests' unique intersecting identities. You can follow Charlie on Instagram, LinkedIn, and Substack.
Please note: This is another replay to help with my mental health break. A new episode is coming on Tuesday, March 26th. Thanks for your continued patience and understanding. 💜 This episode is from Season 2, so you'll hear my previous name.
Content warning for mentions of George Floyd's murder and generally sensitive topics without details.
This episode is sponsored by a private donor. Thank you!!!
Listen to minorities and thank them. In this week’s episode, Ra Ra Rollins (he/him) shares why he claims “queer” and “gay” and the difference in meaning for him between the two terms. He ponders if he’s Black first or gay, queer first, especially since not all spaces see him as a whole person with various, complex identities. Learn about how his work can be triggering as a Black therapist and what it means for him to hold space for clients at some of his same intersections. We also discuss how he pushed back in his grad school program because he learned from white professors who talked about white theorists and had white supervisors while seeing white clients. Despite that, he did gain two incredible mentors and friends for life. Ra Ra reclaims his energy by practicing boundaries, which did not come naturally to him, including by shutting down nearly all of his social media. There's also some discussion around rules and how he liberates himself from rules that don’t work or honor him.
Resources, references, and full transcripts are available at www.allyshipisaverb.com/episode/ra-ra-rollins
Host Charlie Ocean, MSW (they/them), has a background in LGBTQ+ training, community organizing, and technology. Guest episodes feature an allyship tip, including tailored questions based on the guests' unique intersecting identities. You can follow Charlie on Instagram, LinkedIn, and Substack.
Check out the wearable merch! You can also help me close the gap on my $757 goal. I'm 76% of the way there at the time of writing this!
Please note: I'm bringing back a fan-favorite episode from season one, especially for those of you who are new to the podcast! Just a heads up, you will hear my previous name.
Why am I doing this? I'm burnt out. I need more support to keep this podcast going strong into season four. Anything you can do helps - whether it's snagging some merch, becoming a monthly donor, sponsoring an episode, or even sharing episodes.
I'm incredibly grateful for those who've been supporting me, and the reality is each episode takes me over 20 hours to put together. It's overwhelming and has become unsustainable, especially in the current anti-LGBTQ+ political climate of both the US and globally.
Your support means the world to me and helps so many feel seen, heard, and validated through the podcast. Plus, it's a crucial part of some people's LGBTQ+ allyship journeys. Thank you all so much for being a part of this community 🌈 New episodes will be coming, though I may do one more replay for my mental health 💜 I appreciate your patience and understanding.
In this week’s episode, Trystan Reese (he/him) shares about his days of being a drag king and how he's been performing as a man since he was a kid. Learn about some of the practices he's adopted to check in with his colleagues so that they're in a continuous feedback loop, including addressing power dynamics and microaggressions. We also discuss a bit of what it's like to be trainers and consultants and the work that goes into it, including figuring out our boundaries and doing the work to know how to facilitate conversations. Trystan talks about how moved he was by ALOK's talk on the podcast Man Enough and how well they were able to articulate thoughts that have been circling in his own mind.
Resources, references, and full transcripts are available at https://www.allyshipisaverb.com/episodes/trystan-reese
Host Charlie Ocean, MSW (they/them), has a background in LGBTQ+ training, community organizing, and technology. Guest episodes feature an allyship tip, including tailored questions based on the guests' unique intersecting identities. You can follow Charlie on Instagram, LinkedIn, and Substack.
Check out the wearable merch!This week, Candace Rucker (she/her) challenges the thought that we are only one type of ally, advocate, or activist— instead, we can be fluid by going in and out of feelings and actions. You will learn: 1. How it feels to be marginalized and misunderstood due to mixed race and queer identity 2. Why she historically got really, really angry when thinking about being Black in America 3. Why she's such a fan of intersectionality and who she'd love to meet🎙️ Connect with Candace:LinkedIn💻 Sources and resources:The intersectionality wars | Vox.com piece about how and why Kimberlé Crenshaw coined intersectionalityStan Lee: A Life (Centennial) - Bob Batchelor | Bookshop.orgJournal of a Black Queer Nurse - Britney Daniels | Bookshop.orgBlack Friend: Essays - Ziwe | Bookshop.orgBlack AF History: The Un-Whitewashed Story of America - Michael Harriot | Bookshop.org(Disclaimer: Gender Sexuality Info, LLC may receive a small commission from you purchasing from the Bookshop.org links, which helps to provide free educational services like this podcast)Host Charlie Ocean, MSW (they/them), has a background in LGBTQ+ training, community organizing, and technology. Guest episodes feature at least one allyship tip, including tailored questions based on the guests' unique intersecting identities. You can follow Charlie on Instagram, LinkedIn, and Substack.
☎️ Call the new QTP Loveline to get various LGBTQ+ affirmations and encouragementThis week, Cielo Sunsarae (they/he) shares how harmful articles from a major conservative publisher turned into unexpected donations and partnerships for their Florida-based nonprofit. You will learn 1. What initially made them decide to cancel their top surgery and what they did later on to be comfortable with rescheduling and keeping it 2. How far some journalists have gone to write harmful articles or share misleading information (including about Cielo and Queer Trans Project) 3. Why clothing stores need to rethink options for fat and neurodivergent people (and all body types)🎙️ Connect with Cielo:InstagramTikTok💻 Sources and resources:Queer Trans Projectr/transmascdicks Trans BucketPress 3 for a pep talk from kindergartners. A new hotline gives you options for joy | NPRHost Charlie Ocean, MSW (they/them), has a background in LGBTQ+ training, community organizing, and technology. Guest episodes feature at least one allyship tip, including tailored questions based on the guests' unique intersecting identities. You can follow Charlie on Instagram, LinkedIn, and Substack.
📺 Watch the recording for PFLAG Los Angeles Presents: Trans and Nonbinary Joy ✨☎️ Call the new QTP Loveline to get various LGBTQ+ affirmations and encouragementThis week, Andrew Lear (he/him) discusses what goes into curating gay art history tours and the homophobia he's seen in academia. In this episode, you will learn 1. What intimate and sexual differences he’s seen for teenage boys and men across different cultures 2. How he’s seen gay art evolve over time 3. Which LGBTQ+ historical figures he’d want to have a dinner party with, and why🎙️ Connect with Andrew:FacebookOscar Wilde Tours💻 Sources and resources:Andrew Lear | WikipediaRare Photos of the Stonewall Riots On Display in New Exhibit | NY1Images From the Stonewall Uprising’s Final Night | NY Times7 LGBTQ Uprisings Before Stonewall | History.comStonewall at 40: The Voice Articles That Sparked a Final Night of Rioting | Village VoiceGay Liberation Front GLF | WikipediaGay Activists Alliance GAA | WikipediaFrank Kameny | WikipediaCraig Rodwell | WikipediaSylvia Rivera, “Y’all Better Quiet Down” Original Authorized Video, 1973 Gay Pride Rally NYC *loud volume warning* | YouTubeCamp Pride | Campus PrideShopQueer.co | Online, also has The Rainbow Book BusThe Lavender Rhino | Online, no website yet. Funded via KickstarterList of LGBT Bookstores | Wikipedia50 Queer Bookstores to Visit this Pride Month | Book RiotEverywhere Is Queer | You can also see thousands of LGBTQ+ owned shops hereMan in crisis calls gay bookstore, and manager and patrons answer | NBC NewsHost Charlie Ocean, MSW (they/them), has a background in LGBTQ+ training, community organizing, and technology. Guest episodes feature at least one allyship tip, including tailored questions based on the guests' unique intersecting identities. You can follow Charlie on Instagram, LinkedIn, and Substack.
🗳️ Voting for 'Allyship is a Verb' in the Sonic Bloom Awards People's Choice category has ended. Thanks to everyone who helped out!☎️ Call the new QTP Loveline to get various LGBTQ+ affirmations and encouragementThis week, Shane Whalley (ze/hir) sheds light on living in Austin, Texas as an older queer and genderqueer person. In this special update episode, you will learn 1. Why ze suggests not intervening during misgendering (without consent from the person harmed) 2. How ze wishes we would proactively approach social/political change (instead of playing defense) 3. What we could say instead of calling someone "brave" or "resilient"🎙️ Connect with Shane:LinkedIn TwitterDaring Dialogues | Shane’s training and consulting business💻 Sources and resources:Charlie’s Pronoun and Name Mistake FlowchartWaverships | AceDadAdvice on InstagramWant to practice pronouncing the ze/hir pronoun set? You can hear them (and more) here https://en.pronouns.page/Host Charlie Ocean, MSW (they/them), has a background in LGBTQ+ training, community organizing, and technology. Guest episodes feature at least one allyship tip, including tailored questions based on the guests' unique intersecting identities. You can follow Charlie on Instagram, LinkedIn, and Substack.
📺 Watch the recording for PFLAG Los Angeles Presents: Trans and Nonbinary Joy ✨☎️ Call the new QTP Loveline to get various LGBTQ+ affirmations and encouragementThis week, Tonya (she/they) shares how questioning their gender 3-5 years ago has taken them on a journey, including navigating decisions about pronouns, make-up, hair length, and clothing. In this episode, you will learn 1. Why they hired a wedding planner who has experience with queer weddings, among other intentional decisions they've been working through 2. What a previous workplace did that was a positive change for the LGBTQ+ community at large 3. How, surprisingly, a trip to a coffee shop in a small town in Texas recently made them feel seen💻 Sources and resources:Microsoft Teams Pronouns | YouTube video showing how to enable itReel one and two | Instagram account @butchboudoirproject showing how to add pronouns for iOS17Host Charlie Ocean, MSW (they/them), has a background in LGBTQ+ training, community organizing, and technology. Guest episodes feature at least one allyship tip, including tailored questions based on the guests' unique intersecting identities. You can follow Charlie on Instagram, LinkedIn, and Substack.
Watch the recording for PFLAG Los Angeles Presents: Trans and Nonbinary Joy ✨This week, Patrick Ladonis (he/him) shares how he shifted from fear to freedom when he came out to over 400 people at the premiere of his web series SCALES. In this episode, you will learn 1. How stressful it was to have people pry into his personal life before he felt comfortable talking about his now husband in the workplace 2. What CEOs and senior leadership can do to show up for employees, especially for shifting to an inclusive culture 3. How creating his web series changed him by building up his confidence, and he hopes future generations will discover it🎙️ Connect with Patrick:SCALES The Webseries | YouTube💻 Sources and resources:Lost-n-Found Youth | Atlanta-based nonprofit organization that provides services to LGBTQ+ youth experiencing homelessness.Atlanta Angels | Supporting children, youth, and families experiencing foster care.Host Charlie Ocean, MSW (they/them), has a background in LGBTQ+ training, community organizing, and technology. Guest episodes feature at least one allyship tip, including tailored questions based on the guests' unique intersecting identities. You can follow Charlie on Instagram, LinkedIn, and Substack.
This week, Tiffany Rossdale (she/her) shares about being a transgender woman and transformational life coach who emigrated from Manila, Philippines, to Tokyo, Japan. In this episode, you will learn 1. Why she’s passionate about legal reform for Japan’s LGBTQ+ community and advocacy, taking inspiration from other transgender actors and activists like Laverne Cox and Angelica Ross 2. How she has been navigating the complexities of dating as a transgender woman, including safety considerations 3. What healthcare providers can do to serve transgender and nonbinary patients better.🎙️ Connect with Tiffany:Breakfast with Tiffany Show | Apple PodcastsWebsiteFacebookInstagramLinkedIn💻 Sources and resources:Good news! Days after the episode was published, this happened: Japan's top court says trans sterilisation requirement unconstitutional | BBC NewsFEW Japan | For Empowering Women in JapanPride House TokyoFamous Japanese Trans Women | Tumblr post'Deeply hurt': Anti-trans hostility rises in Japan | Japan TimesAya Kamikawa | WikipediaLGBT culture in Tokyo | WikipediaHost Charlie Ocean, MSW (they/them), has a background in LGBTQ+ training, community organizing, and technology. Guest episodes feature at least one allyship tip, including tailored questions given their unique intersecting identities. You can follow Charlie on Instagram, LinkedIn, and Substack.
This week, Mark S. King (he/him) shares how the landscape of HIV/AIDS has changed over the years since the AIDS crisis of the 80s and what it's been like for him, having lived with HIV for four decades. In this episode, you will learn 1. Why is it essential to fight against HIV criminalization, especially considering the injustices and stigma it perpetuates, particularly when it's used vindictively in personal disputes and can lead to unjust labeling as sexual predators 2. How not having access to basic services like transportation can impact our health and health outcomes 3. How he initially felt about folks making comparisons between the AIDS crisis and COVID-19 and what he thinks now🎙️ Connect with Mark S. King:Website | Where you can find his blog, My Fabulous DiseaseMy Fabulous Disease | Mark’s new book (borrowed from the blog’s title)The Day After He was Murdered, I Got a Card from Josh Kruger | Post from Mark’s blogFacebookX💻 Sources and resources:TheBody | HIV/AIDS ResourcesThe Reunion Project | National alliance of long-term survivors of HIVPOZ magazineHIV/AIDS awareness days | HIV.govUSCHA | United States Conference on AIDSHost Charlie Ocean, MSW (they/them), has a background in LGBTQ+ training, community organizing, and technology. Guest episodes feature at least one allyship tip, including tailored questions given their unique intersecting identities. You can follow Charlie on Instagram, LinkedIn, and Substack.
This week, Charlie Ocean, MSW (they/them), is interviewed by various friends to celebrate turning 36 on September 17th, 2023! 🥳 In this episode, you will learn 1. Why they changed their name to Charlie Ocean from Chris Angel Murphy and some of what went into that decision 2. What some of their favorite books, shows, movies, and memes are 3. How to talk about someone who changed their name or pronouns with someone who doesn't know🎙️ Connect with Charlie:InstagramLinkedInSubstack💻 Sources and resources:: Small, Medium, Large : Foamy The Squirrel | YouTubeMuffins - Liam Kyle Sullivan (also known for the hit song Shoes) | YouTubeList of Strongbad emails | Homestar RunnerEnd of Ze World | YouTubeCharlie bit my finger | YouTubeCharlie the Unicorn | YouTube playlistY tho | Know your memeCharlie’s epic 90s birthday playlist | SpotifyHost Charlie Ocean, MSW (they/them) has a background in LGBTQ+ training, community organizing, and technology. Guest episodes feature at least one allyship tip, including tailored questions given their unique intersecting identities. You can follow Charlie on Instagram, LinkedIn, and Substack.
This week, Zoa Glows (they/she) returns from the first season to share how they navigate the workplace as a trans and nonbinary person, and what they wish workplaces would do to make it safer and easier. In this episode, you will learn 1. Why she decided to leave professional performing 2. What hate comments do to their spirit, and how their reactions to it have evolved over time (plus what those of us who follow Zoa on social can do to support them) 3. How some gendered terms may feel good to her in specific situations🎙️ Connect with Zoa:InstagramTikTok💻 Sources and resources:Charlie’s reel about not being transmasc (which includes the 2D 3D comment)The Gender and Sexuality Galaxies | Action Canada for Sexual Health and Rights📣 Announcements:Our names are a gift that we can exchange - Substack post about the name change from Chris Angel to CharlieNew merch drop 👀 with another line coming VERY soon 👕 Host Charlie Ocean (they/them) has a background in LGBTQ+ training, community organizing, and social work. Guest episodes feature at least one allyship tip, including tailored questions given their unique intersecting identities. You can follow them on Instagram, LinkedIn, and Substack.
This week, MJ Jupitus (they/them) shares about how they navigate language as a nonbinary person, including being their wife's wife, but not their parent's daughter. In this episode, you will learn 1. Why they call themselves a movement specialist instead of a physical trainer or physical therapist 2. What softness means to them physically and mentally 3. How we may have "queer posture" and what it is🎙️ Connect with MJ:InstagramWebsite📣 Announcements:There are just two days left to support Allyship is a Verb’s Indiegogo campaign, including lots of great perks! Please consider donating $15 in honor of Chris Angel’s milestone of 15 years on testosterone (August 12th).New merch drop 👀 with another line coming soon 👕Host Charlie Ocean, MSW (they/them), has a background in LGBTQ+ training, community organizing, and technology. Guest episodes feature at least one allyship tip, including tailored questions based on the guests' unique intersecting identities. You can follow Charlie on Instagram, LinkedIn, and Substack. *You will hear Charlie's former name in this episode and previous ones.*
This week, Jack Lam (they/them) discusses how being a Malaysian Chinese immigrant has impacted them, including struggling to release shame and fear so they could name and embrace their genderqueer identity after coming to the United States. In this episode, you will learn 1. How their gender expression becomes a powerful tool for visibility 2. When allyship begins to become performative and how to avoid it 3. Why we need to normalize talking about mental health and getting support🎙️ Connect with Jack:Instagram (select posts included below)To be an immigrantWhen you’re part of the communityQuestions to a genderqueer personFor when you want it all to end💻 Sources and resources:Coming Out: Living Authentically as LGBTQ Asian and Pacific Islander Americans | The National Queer Asian Pacific Islander Alliance and HRC Foundation📣 Announcements:Love is in the air! 😍 Or is it? Charlie's personals ad for their friend Kaitlyn may have scared you away 😅 but if it hasn’t, go check out Kaitlyn on InstagramWant to bring Allyship is a Verb to your workplace or group? Get a shoutout? Check out our Indiegogo campaign, including lots of other great perks! Please consider donating $15 in honor of Charlie's milestone of 15 years on testosterone (August 12th).New merch drop 👀 with another line coming soon 👕Host Charlie Ocean, MSW (they/them), has a background in LGBTQ+ training, community organizing, and technology. Guest episodes feature at least one allyship tip, including tailored questions based on the guests' unique intersecting identities. You can follow Charlie on Instagram, LinkedIn, and Substack. *You will hear Charlie's former name in this episode and previous ones.*
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