Amplified: The Sound of Survivors

Inspired by the life and music of the late artist Kelly Nicole, the mission of this podcast is to ease the suffering of those with ptsd and eating disorders. Thru intimate interviews with trauma survivors, academics, clinicians, musicians, veterans, mental health experts and artists, this weekly program explores the darkest aspects of psychological disturbance without varnish or apology as well as the healing power of creativity - especially music. The program is hosted by Foundation Director and Kelly Nicole’s wife, Theresa Holl. Kelly Nicole’s posthumous debut album, Hate Becoming is the primary inspiration for her eponymous Foundation and is available on iTunes and Spotify, as well as at kellynicolefoundation.org. All music and merch sales and donations benefit the Kelly Nicole Foundation and its mission to fight PTSD & eating disorders. “I’ll lick my wounds and take my pills, but I’ll never be the same again.” - Kelly Nicole, “Take My Pills” Please note, this is an explicit podcast and much of the subject matter will be disturbing to some listeners. Discretion is strongly advised.

#1 A Survivor Speaks

Special thanks to Joshua Davis for his long time support of the Foundation as well as his candor and courage throughout this personal interview series.

09-07
31:33

#2 Pain Becomes Comfortable

Joshua Davis 2 of 4. Survivor and musician Joshua Davis joins us in this deeply personal interview series to discuss childhood trauma, its effects and consequences as well as PTSD, addiction, sobriety, relationships, recovery, the healing power of music and life at 50. Themes include difficult content of a sexual nature, discretion is advised.

09-15
44:37

#3 Do I walk around saying I'm broken?

Joshua Davis 3 of 4. In this interview series, we explore sexual trauma, its effects and consequences as well as addiction, sobriety, relationships, recovery, the healing power of music and life at 50. Themes include difficult content of a sexual nature, discretion is advised.

09-21
37:47

#4 Learn to Garden Together

Joshua Davis 4 of 4. The powerful conclusion to this 4-part interview. Survivor and musician Joshua Davis joins us in this deeply personal interview series to discuss childhood trauma, its effects and consequences as well as PTSD, addiction, sobriety, relationships, recovery, the healing power of music and life at 50. Themes include difficult content of a sexual nature, discretion is advised.

09-28
01:07:15

#5 The World of a Metal Drummer

Derek S. Abrams 1 of 4. Ministry drummer Derek S. Abrams (Dereksabrams.com) joins us from Europe for an inside look at performing as part of an industrial rock music institution, collaboration with Kelly Nicole on Hate Becoming and a few graphic details about life on the road... As always, this podcast isn't for kids.

10-05
17:13

#6 So this is where we die?

Derek S. Abrams 2 of 4. Ministry drummer Derek S. Abrams (Dereksabrams.com) joins us from Europe for an inside look at performing as part of an industrial music institution, collaboration with Kelly Nicole on Hate Becoming and a few graphic details about life on the road... As always, this podcast isn't for kids.

10-12
14:16

#7 Hookers & Drug Dealers

Derek S. Abrams 3 of 4. Ministry drummer Derek S. Abrams (Dereksabrams.com) joins us from Europe for an inside look at performing as part of an industrial music institution, collaboration with Kelly Nicole on Hate Becoming and a few graphic details about life on the road... As always, this podcast isn't for kids.

10-19
15:53

#8 Tension & Release

Derek S. Abrams 4 of 4. Ministry drummer Derek S. Abrams (Dereksabrams.com) joins us from Europe for an inside look at performing as part of an industrial music institution, the craft of drumming, musicianship and how to create powerful songs . As always, you can support the Kelly Nicole Foundation with shopping and donations at kellynicolefoundation.org

10-26
21:37

#9 Young Troublemakers

Carmen Berzinski 1 of 4. Clinical therapist Carmen Berzinski (MSW, LICSW, LCSW, LADC) joins us to talk psychology, what's wrong w/ treatment, ptsd & eating disorders, self-trust, shame, recovery and causing trouble w/ Kelly Nicole.

11-02
21:38

#10 The Thing I Can Control

Carmen Berzinski 2 of 4. Clinical therapist Carmen Berzinski joins us to talk psychology, what's wrong w/ treatment, ptsd & eating disorders, self-trust, shame, recovery and causing trouble wit Kelly Nicole.

11-09
34:06

#11 Bitch You're Crazy - Give Me The Keys

Carmen Berzinski 3 of 4. Clinical therapist Carmen Berzinski joins us to talk psychology, what's wrong w/ treatment, ptsd & eating disorders, self-trust, shame, recovery and causing trouble w/ Kelly Nicole.

11-16
18:32

#12 Talk About Recovery

Carmen Berzinski 4 of 4. Clinical therapist Carmen Berzinski joins us to talk psychology, what's wrong w/ treatment, ptsd & eating disorders, self-trust, shame, recovery and causing trouble w/ Kelly Nicole.

11-23
23:30

#13 Gaslighting is Real

Episodes 13 thru 16 are a discussion panel on gaslighting from a 2018 Kelly Nicole Foundation event. The panel followed a screening of our documentary “I Want You to Hear Me: The Kelly Nicole Story” (available on our YouTube channel) and an in-depth examination the lyrics of “Hate Becoming,” the title track from Kelly Nicole’s posthumous debut album. Focused on the line "It's all lies left. It's all true right?" the panel of mental health experts, nonprofit leaders and an Army combat veteran will explore gaslighting, self-doubt, self-belief and recovery from trauma with audience interaction. Panelists: Dr. Birgit Kelly: PhD Director of Clinical Services at Tubman with clinical focus on complex trauma work. Matt Lovitz: Operation Iraqi Freedom Veteran and Executive Director of Veteran Valor Farm. Theresa Holl: Executive Director of the Kelly Nicole Foundation. More information on Kelly Nicole's life and music here: kellynicole.com/life

11-30
15:58

#14 Defining Gaslighting

Episodes 13 thru 16 are a discussion panel on gaslighting from a 2018 Kelly Nicole Foundation event. The panel followed a screening of our documentary “I Want You to Hear Me: The Kelly Nicole Story” (available on our YouTube channel) and an in-depth examination the lyrics of “Hate Becoming,” the title track from Kelly Nicole’s posthumous debut album. Focused on the line "It's all lies left. It's all true right?" the panel of mental health experts, nonprofit leaders and an Army combat veteran will explore gaslighting, self-doubt, self-belief and recovery from trauma with audience interaction. Panelists: Dr. Birgit Kelly: PhD Director of Clinical Services at Tubman with clinical focus on complex trauma work. Matt Lovitz: Operation Iraqi Freedom Veteran and Executive Director of Veteran Valor Farm. Theresa Holl: Executive Director of the Kelly Nicole Foundation. More information on Kelly Nicole's life and music here: kellynicole.com/life

12-07
16:44

#15 A Different Self

Episodes 13 thru 16 are a discussion panel on gaslighting from a 2018 Kelly Nicole Foundation event. The panel followed a screening of our documentary “I Want You to Hear Me: The Kelly Nicole Story” (available on our YouTube channel) and an in-depth examination the lyrics of “Hate Becoming,” the title track from Kelly Nicole’s posthumous debut album. Focused on the line "It's all lies left. It's all true right?" the panel of mental health experts, nonprofit leaders and an Army combat veteran will explore gaslighting, self-doubt, self-belief and recovery from trauma with audience interaction. Panelists: Dr. Birgit Kelly: PhD Director of Clinical Services at Tubman with clinical focus on complex trauma work. Matt Lovitz: Operation Iraqi Freedom Veteran and Executive Director of Veteran Valor Farm. Theresa Holl: Executive Director of the Kelly Nicole Foundation. More information on Kelly Nicole's life and music here: kellynicole.com/life

12-14
17:10

#16 Community & Healing

Final episode from a 2018 discussion panel, featuring audience Q&A. Episodes 13 thru 16 are a discussion panel on gaslighting and trauma from a 2018 Kelly Nicole Foundation event. The panel followed a screening of our documentary “I Want You to Hear Me: The Kelly Nicole Story” (available on our YouTube channel) and an in-depth examination the lyrics of “Hate Becoming,” the title track from Kelly Nicole’s posthumous debut album. Focused on the line "It's all lies left. It's all true right?" the panel of mental health experts, nonprofit leaders and an Army combat veteran will explore gaslighting, self-doubt, self-belief and recovery from trauma with audience interaction. Panelists: Dr. Birgit Kelly: PhD Director of Clinical Services at Tubman with clinical focus on complex trauma work. Matt Lovitz: Operation Iraqi Freedom Veteran and Executive Director of Veteran Valor Farm. Theresa Holl: Executive Director of the Kelly Nicole Foundation. More information on Kelly Nicole's life and music here: kellynicole.com/life

12-21
08:19

#17 Disciplining the Beast

Vincent Spera 1 of 4. Episodes 17 - 20 are an interview with Vincent Spera, a self-defense and leadership instructor who is pursuing his PhD in Adlerian Psychology. Topics explored include martial arts, individual psychology, deescalation, empowerment of trauma survivors and spirituality.

12-28
19:22

#18 It's Not Just Me

Vincent Spera 2 of 4. Episodes 17 - 20 are an interview with Vincent Spera, a self-defense and leadership instructor who is pursuing his PhD in Adlerian Psychology. Topics explored include individual psychology, deescalation, empowerment of trauma survivors and spirituality.

01-04
23:30

#19 Something Stolen

Vincent Spera 3 of 4. Episodes 17 - 20 are an interview with Vincent Spera, a self-defense and leadership instructor who is pursuing his PhD in Adlerian Psychology. Topics explored include individual psychology, deescalation, empowerment of trauma survivors and spirituality.

01-11
15:16

#20 Now We Move From Here

Vincent Spera 4 of 4. Episodes 17 - 20 are an interview with Vincent Spera, a self-defense and leadership instructor who is pursuing his PhD in Adlerian Psychology. Topics explored include individual psychology, deescalation, empowerment of trauma survivors and spirituality.

01-18
27:52

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