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At Peace Parents™ Podcast
Author: Casey
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© 2023 At Peace Parents Podcast
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The At Peace Parents Podcast is your source for all things related to understanding, supporting, accommodating, and advocating for your demand avoidant or PDA child. It will completely transform the way you think about your PDA child's brain, behavior, and parenting, and support you in finding your path to more peace and stability in the home. For more information see www.atpeaceparents.com
91 Episodes
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Advocating with the school of your PDA child or teen can feel like slamming your head against a wall. But you keep trying because you think that if you just explain how PDA works clearly enough the school will start accommodating appropriately. At least that's what I thought. And I was wrong. But it took me more than a year and multiple lawyers to get to the place where I pulled my child from our local public school. I share my story here in the hope that, at the very least, it absolves you of the feeling that the reason your school isn't supporting your child is somehow your fault. Because it's not. Are you ready to start working to deeply understand and support your PDA child or teen and lead your family to peace? Join the waitlist for the next cohort of my signature Paradigm Shift Program at https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-programTo learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com.You can also connect with me on:Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparentsFacebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparentsYouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparentsAnd information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.comThanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey
I love it when alumni of our Paradigm Shift Program™ send me updates. It's just so wonderful to hear about the work that parents do and the slow but tremendous progress they make. In this episode I decided to invite on one of the moms who sent me such an update about a year after she finished the program. We talk about how she ultimately fared with the questions she was grappling with during the program: Should she send her PDA son to sleepaway summer camp? And if so, how should she go about it? I hope you enjoy hearing her story as much as I enjoyed reconnecting with her.xo,CaseyAre you ready to start working to deeply understand and support your PDA child or teen and lead your family to peace? Join the waitlist for the next cohort of my signature Paradigm Shift Program at https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-programTo learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com.You can also connect with me on:Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparentsFacebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparentsYouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparentsAnd information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.comThanks for listening! You are an amazing parent!
I conceptualize PDA as a nervous system disability because it can impair access to basic survival needs - such as eating, sleeping, toileting, movement, and safety. It's terrifying for parents when this happens, and in this episode I discuss why it does. This understanding helps many parents support their children, who can then regain access to those needs over time. Are you ready to start working to deeply understand and support your PDA child or teen and lead your family to peace? Join the waitlist for the next cohort of my signature Paradigm Shift Program at https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-programTo learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com.You can also connect with me on:Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparentsFacebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparentsYouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparentsAnd information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.comThanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey
Lowering demands is how many parents start accommodating their PDA child or teen, and it's also where many get stuck. In this episode I talk through the mindset work that parents can do to get unstuck and be more successful with lowering demands. I also explain why lowering demands is a necessary but not sufficient accommodation for our PDA children and teens. Are you ready to start working to deeply understand and support your PDA child or teen and lead your family to peace? Join the waitlist for the next cohort of my signature Paradigm Shift Program at https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-programTo learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com.You can also connect with me on:Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparentsFacebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparentsYouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparentsAnd information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.comThanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey
Does you child or teen often try to control you, criticize you and/or destroy your things or things around the house. This is very common among PDA children and teens, because they are equalizing. Equalizing is a nervous system response - out of their control - in PDA children and teens whereby they try to regain sense of nervous system safety due to a perceived loss of autonomy and equality.In this episode I break it all down, and share lots of examples. I hope it's helpful. xo,CaseyAre you ready to start working to deeply understand and support your PDA child or teen and lead your family to peace? Join the waitlist for the next cohort of my signature Paradigm Shift Program at https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-programTo learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com.You can also connect with me on:Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparentsFacebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparentsYouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparentsAnd information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.comThanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey
Este episodio está en español. This episode is in Spanish. En este episodio hablo con Juliana Carrillo sobre PDA - la Evitación de Demanda Extrema - y como entender la discapacidad del sistema nervioso en niños y jovenes. Juliana es una psicologa y "coach" con At Peace Parents. Puedes leer más de ella y sus servicios aquí: https://www.atpeaceparents.com/Juliana-asesoria-personalizadaAre you ready to start working to deeply understand and support your PDA child or teen and lead your family to peace? Join the waitlist for the next cohort of my signature Paradigm Shift Program at https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-programTo learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com.You can also connect with me on:Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparentsFacebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparentsYouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparentsAnd information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.comThanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey
It's very common for two parents to be on different pages or trajectories with PDA understanding and acceptance. Sometimes this is because one parent wants more "evidence" that PDA exists at all, which can be very difficult given that academia has not yet caught up to our lived realities. In this episode I provide a possible way forward - building your own evidence!I hope it's helpful. Are you ready to start working to deeply understand and support your PDA child or teen and lead your family to peace? Join the waitlist for the next cohort of my signature Paradigm Shift Program at https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-programTo learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com.You can also connect with me on:Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparentsFacebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparentsYouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparentsAnd information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.comThanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey
In this episode I share the techniques for using declarative language that I've seen are most effective for parents of PDA children and teens. And I snuck in a suggestion on how to get your PDAer's teacher to use declarative language, too ;)Are you ready to start working to deeply understand and support your PDA child or teen and lead your family to peace? Join the waitlist for the next cohort of my signature Paradigm Shift Program at https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-programTo learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com.You can also connect with me on:Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparentsFacebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparentsYouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparentsAnd information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.comThanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey
There are tons of misconceptions about if and how we set boundaries with our PDA children and teens (spoiler - we do!), and in this episode I talk through the most common of them. I also explain the process I use - cost-benefit decision making within constraints - to help parents decide when they should set boundaries and how to do so with eyes wide open to the activation this will cause their PDAer.I hope it helps you!Are you ready to start working to deeply understand and support your PDA child or teen and lead your family to peace? Join the waitlist for the next cohort of my signature Paradigm Shift Program at https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-programTo learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com.You can also connect with me on:Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparentsFacebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparentsYouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparentsAnd information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.comThanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey
Hi everyone - in this episode I share some of the many messy, awkward and (in retrospect at least) kinda funny situations I found myself in during the many months I was in the process of changing my parenting approach to better support my PDA son. I share these as a reminder that this can be (almost always is) a chaotic transition, and that's ok. You're learning and implementing a new parenting paradigm, and it takes time for you, your family members, and you PDA child to get into a new rhythm. Are you ready to start working to deeply understand and support your PDA child or teen and lead your family to peace? Join the waitlist for the next cohort of my signature Paradigm Shift Program at https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-programTo learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com.You can also connect with me on:Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparentsFacebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparentsYouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparentsAnd information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.comThanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey
ABA is helpful for some PDA children and their families. For other PDA children it doesn't help or can make things worse. With this in mind, I'd love to live in a world where ABA and additional options were available - and covered by insurance - to support PDA children and teens.In today's episode I provide more information about ABA and the how parents of PDA children can better understand the research supporting it.Also - here are links to the two articles I referenced:https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s40614-022-00338-xhttps://www.nature.com/articles/tp2017207Are you ready to start working to deeply understand and support your PDA child or teen and lead your family to peace? Join the waitlist for the next cohort of my signature Paradigm Shift Program at https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-programTo learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com.You can also connect with me on:Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparentsFacebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparentsYouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparentsAnd information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.comThanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey
In this episode I share my experiences with the Safe and Sound Protocol, and also provide guidance on how parents can think about trying therapies with their PDA child or teen.Are you ready to start working to deeply understand and support your PDA child or teen and lead your family to peace? Join the waitlist for the next cohort of my signature Paradigm Shift Program at https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-programTo learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com.You can also connect with me on:Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparentsFacebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparentsYouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparentsAnd information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.comThanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey
This is a question I get frequently, and there's a lot of nuance that goes into answering it. I hope this is helpful to you!Are you ready to start working to deeply understand and support your PDA child or teen and lead your family to peace? Join the waitlist for the next cohort of my signature Paradigm Shift Program at https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-programTo learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com.You can also connect with me on:Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparentsFacebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparentsYouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparentsAnd information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.comThanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey
In this episode I explain the logic that underpins all my teaching, and why traditional behavioral parenting approaches - which are great for many children - don't work for PDA children and teens because of the way their brains and nervous systems work. Are you ready to start working to deeply understand and support your PDA child or teen and lead your family to peace? Join the waitlist for the next cohort of my signature Paradigm Shift Program at https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-programTo learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com.You can also connect with me on:Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparentsFacebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparentsYouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparentsAnd information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.comThanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey
Like many parents, I spent years looking for a magic solution that would fix or circumvent my son's PDA. And then I came to accept that this is a disability he has. Only then was I able to make the decisions to truly support him and our family.In this episode I share the tool I teach in the Paradigm Shift Program™ to help parents accept the limitations they face and make decisions to move forward. I hope it supports you, too.Are you ready to start working to deeply understand and support your PDA child or teen and lead your family to peace? Join the waitlist for the next cohort of my signature Paradigm Shift Program at https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-programTo learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com.You can also connect with me on:Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparentsFacebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparentsYouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparentsAnd information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.comThanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey
In this episode I explain why it makes total sense that we have PDA children and teens before academia has proven the existence of PDA, because research follows real life. (And while I love research, it is often slow and expensive.)But that doesn't mean we can't move forward and experiment with approaches that support our children. That's what parents have always done, and then studies come after that prove the effectiveness of those approaches. I hope this episode validates for you that what you know to be true is indeed true, even though many of the practitioners you work with (therapists, teachers, pediatricians) didn't learn about it in school.Are you ready to start working to deeply understand and support your PDA child or teen and lead your family to peace? Join the waitlist for the next cohort of my signature Paradigm Shift Program at https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-programTo learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com.You can also connect with me on:Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparentsFacebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparentsYouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparentsAnd information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.comThanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey
One of our goals in accommodating the nervous systems of our PDA children and teens is to make them feel safe. And in this video I walk through nine ways we can signal safety (many of which aren't verbal) to help them feel safe, and safe in their connection with us. This podcast is the audio recording of a video I made, and you can hear me talk about some of the visuals I shared, which you don't really need, but are available here if you want to see them (https://youtu.be/FD_oHidffP4?si=R3EOQiBUY9ihccyr). Are you ready to start working to deeply understand and support your PDA child or teen and lead your family to peace? Join the waitlist for the next cohort of my signature Paradigm Shift Program at https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-programTo learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com.You can also connect with me on:Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparentsFacebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparentsYouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparentsAnd information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.comThanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey
I don't plan a single weekend - nor really any other free time with my PDA son - without thinking about the 4 S's. Just keeping them in mind buoys my confidence that I know how to prevent or interrupt my son's dysregulation.This podcast is the audio of a video I made explaining the 4S's in detail. I talk a bit about the graphics I drew for the video, which you don't really need to see, but can find here if you'd like (https://youtu.be/4hYEtJhbg7k?si=jZlWZLhawS-sZ0p4). Are you ready to start working to deeply understand and support your PDA child or teen and lead your family to peace? Join the waitlist for the next cohort of my signature Paradigm Shift Program at https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-programTo learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com.You can also connect with me on:Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparentsFacebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparentsYouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparentsAnd information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.comThanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey
Are you thinking about taking your PDA child or teen out of formal school for homeschooling? Or perhaps you've already done so and are finding what you've gotten into to be pure chaos? This episode is for you!Kelly Edwards is the mother of a PDA child and founder of 90-Minute School Day (https://90minuteschoolday.com/), an organization that helps parents homeschool and unschool their neurodivergent children and teens. I loved speaking with her and know her insights will be supportive for so many of you great parents out there!Are you ready to start working to deeply understand and support your PDA child or teen and lead your family to peace? Join the waitlist for the next cohort of my signature Paradigm Shift Program at https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-programTo learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com.You can also connect with me on:Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparentsFacebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparentsYouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparentsAnd information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.comThanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey
Raising a PDA child or teen is extremely challenging. Trying to be perfect in your implementation of accommodations makes it impossible and unsustainable. But here's the good news - you don't have to be perfect! Not when your child is in burnout, and certainly not when they're in equilibrium and you need to bring some nuance to your caregiving. I explain these distinctions in this episode, which I hopes helps you breathe a little deeper and recognize what a great job you're already doing!Are you ready to start working to deeply understand and support your PDA child or teen and lead your family to peace? Join the waitlist for the next cohort of my signature Paradigm Shift Program at https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-programTo learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com.You can also connect with me on:Instagram - www.instagram/atpeaceparents TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@atpeaceparentsFacebook - www.facebook.com/atpeaceparentsYouTube - www.youtube.com/@atpeaceparentsAnd information on my Courses, Programs, and Coaching is at my At Peace Parents website, www.atpeaceparents.comThanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey
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For years we've tried to make sense of our son's behavior but none of the parenting books or classes ever worked for our situation. Casey's work with PDA has changed the trajectory of our family's life. Casey is constantly in my ear as I do errands, fold laundry, cook dinner, etc. I no longer feel crazy or wonder why parenting feels so hard. I am so thankful to have hope for our family's future! I 100% recommend this podcast & Paradigm Shift program!