Awkward Etiquette: Old Money & New Manners

For the final episode of the season of Awkward Etiquette Old Money and New Manners, Auntie Kiki invites you into the most intimate setting of all: the floor by the Christmas tree, wrapping gifts imperfectly and talking you down from the holiday panic spiral. This conversational season finale explores why old money traditions never revolve around a perfect Christmas and why elegance, confidence, and connection matter far more than flawless décor or curated aesthetics. In this holiday etiquette episode, Kiki breaks down the modern obsession with getting Christmas "right," from symmetrical trees and pristine tables to carefully chosen outfits that are technically appropriate but completely forgettable. She explains why old money has always rejected perfection, not out of rebellion, but out of wisdom. Perfection is fragile, exhausting, and one spilled drink away from collapse, while confidence thrives in imperfection. Listeners are guided through old money holiday style, including why wearing the wrong thing to a Christmas party is often the most elegant choice. From hunting jackets over velvet dresses to pearls paired with dog walking boots, these outfit choices create narrative, signal inherited confidence, and eliminate the anxiety of trying to impress. Old money fashion, Kiki reminds us, is about story over spectacle and presence over performance. The episode also dives into old money Christmas parties and entertaining etiquette, where chaos is not a failure but a feature. Real candles, questionable wiring, overcrowded guest lists, and unpredictable moments are what transform gatherings into lasting memories. These imperfect holiday parties work because they allow people to relax, laugh, and connect without fear of things falling apart. Gift giving etiquette takes center stage as well, with Kiki unpacking why old money never suffers from gift anxiety. Instead of branded, over explained presents, old money gifts reflect continuity and life in progress. Think homemade jam in reused jars, books no one asked for, mysterious brass objects, and stockings filled with oranges, loose sweets, and forgotten pocket treasures. These gifts aren't curated. They are contextual, personal, and quietly confident. This season finale of Awkward Etiquette is a warm, witty reminder that true elegance during the holidays comes from resilience, shared stories, and emotional ease. Old money Christmas isn't about perfection. It's about connection, memory, and allowing imperfection to do its most important work.

Vampires are back—but in 2025, they aren't sleeping in coffins. They're chairing the board, running the estate, and freezing you out of the conversation with a polite smile. In this episode of Awkward Etiquette, Kiki Astor dissects the ultimate social archetype: The Old Money Villain. Drawing from her novel Scarlet Fever and the terrifying "Sangren" family, Kiki explores why we are culturally obsessed with wealthy monsters (think Succession, The White Lotus, and The Perfect Couple) and why the scariest people aren't loud—they're just insulated. If you've ever felt frozen out by high society, intimidated by a boss's silence, or exhausted by the "Eat the Rich" discourse, this episode is your survival guide. Tune in to learn: The Anatomy of the Monster: Why Old Money villains don't use force, but "continuity," to maintain power. The "Eat the Rich" Trap: Why shame doesn't work on the ultra-wealthy, and how to replace outrage with structural literacy. Etiquette as Risk Management: Why exclusion isn't usually about snobbery—it's about equilibrium (and how to make yourself "legible" to the elite). The Economics of Emotion: How to use "The Power of the Pause" and manage your emotional labor like a currency. The Outsider's Mistake: Why trying to mimic the "Ice Queen" backfires, and the difference between powerful silence and petty contempt. BONUS SEGMENT: Dressing the Part. How to adopt the Old Money Villain aesthetic—using clothing as armor without looking like a costume. Whether you are navigating a difficult dinner party or just want to understand the psychology behind the "Quiet Luxury" villain, this episode will teach you how to borrow their composure without losing your soul. Mentioned in this Episode: Scarlet Fever by Kiki Astor The psychology of Succession & The White Lotus Navigating toxic social hierarchies Strategic silence and emotional boundaries Subscribe to Awkward Etiquette for your weekly dose of old money secrets and new world manners.

Step into the holidays with old-money elegance, unbothered poise, and a velvet-lined sense of humor in this special episode of Awkward Etiquette with Kiki Astor. In this Holiday Social Survival Guide, Kiki shares the discreet, never-spoken-aloud strategies that generational families use to glide through December gracefully—even when surrounded by chaos, questions, poorly behaved relatives, and peppermint bark they did not ask for. This episode covers 30 old-money-coded micro-manners, including: • Holiday dressing secrets (two uniforms, heritage prints, effortless grooming) • How to look polished even when you're unraveling internally • Family boundary scripts that deflect intrusive questions with elegance • Hosting shortcuts that create the illusion of serenity without actually cleaning • Old-money entertaining tricks (lighting, cocktails, atmosphere over effort) • Emotional etiquette, including the Sacred Exit, the 20-Minute Rule, and choosing your "holiday alter ego" • Crisis fixes for bad hair, bad moods, and bad conversations Perfect for listeners searching for holiday etiquette tips, hosting hacks, family gathering survival guides, old money lifestyle advice, quiet luxury holiday ideas, and anyone who wants to enter the season looking chic, sounding calm, and preserving their dignity at all costs. If you want the holidays to feel easier, prettier, and significantly more glamorous—this is your essential December listening.

In this jewel-box episode of Awkward Etiquette: Old Money & New Manners, old money and etiquette expert and author of the Virginia foxhunting dark old money gothic novel Scarlet Fever Kiki Astor takes you on a richly layered tour of Old Money Green—the color that has shaped centuries of taste, architecture, interiors, jewelry, fashion, and even social behavior. From the deep, secretive gloss of Charleston Green, rumored to be a begrudging compromise from the post-Civil War era, to the storied Kelly Green of The Greenbrier, to Elsie de Wolfe's iconic soft greens in her legendary drawing rooms, this episode is a masterclass in how different greens evolved into markers of heritage, refinement, and generational confidence. We explore emeralds, jade, malachite, peridot, how tartan, tweed, and loden green became synonymous with country estates and equestrian culture, and why specific greens appear again and again in heritage interiors, private clubs, fox-hunting culture, English country houses, Newport "cottages," and storied American porches. But Kiki doesn't stop at aesthetics. She dives deep into the etiquette and emotional intelligence behind the color: how to handle the "green-eyed monster" with grace, how envy and jealousy show up in high-society dynamics, how old-money families neutralize competitiveness with ritual, language, and poise, and how to cultivate a quiet confidence that reads as "old money" no matter your background or bank account. Expect witty observations, social-historical details, and plenty of nouveau pauvre self-deprecation as Kiki breaks down: The history and meaning of Charleston Green, Savannah Green, and Oxidized Copper Green on classical American homes Why loden coats, tartan skirts, and forest-to-hunter greens signal insider equestrian and countryside heritage The psychology behind jealousy etiquette and how to manage envy in friendships, relationships, and competitive social circles The role of green in royal fashion, prep school uniforms, Ivy League design, and private club interiors How to incorporate "old money green" into your own wardrobe, home, jewelry box, and daily manners Packed with old money aesthetics, social-skills wisdom, historical context, and chic etiquette insights, this episode is a treasure trove for anyone obsessed with heritage design, timeless style, and becoming the most elegant version of themselves—without losing their sense of humor. Pour yourself an iced mint tea, sit beneath something vaguely chinoiserie, and let's talk green.

Why is everyone suddenly dressing like they ride? From "equestrian-core" to "country luxe," the horsey aesthetic is galloping through fashion — but what does it really say? In this episode, Kiki Astor, fresh from a research trip at her hunting lodge in Virginia's horse country, getting ready to release her upcoming dark old money gothic equestrian romance Scarlet Fever, explores why the equestrian look is the ultimate old money uniform: disciplined, neutral, and quietly expensive. We'll talk about Ralph Lauren's lifelong love affair with the hunt, the five essential garments that define authentic equestrian chic (and how not to look like you're wearing a costume), and the etiquette of foxhunting — from who may wear scarlet to what never to say about someone's horse. It's a masterclass in tweed, tack, and taste — because true equestrian style isn't about showing off; it's about knowing the rules.

As daylight wanes and autumn deepens, the first week of November offers unique opportunities—and subtle challenges—for anyone who cherishes etiquette, aesthetics, and intentional living. In this episode of Awkward Etiquette: Old Money and New Manners with Kiki Astor, Kiki reveals how to navigate early November with elegance, balance, and old-money flair. What you'll learn in this episode: 1. Daylight Savings Time Etiquette: Adjust your daily routines gracefully, pour drinks earlier, and embrace the cozy rhythms of the season—without sacrificing sophistication. Learn how small timing changes can elevate your lifestyle and keep you effortlessly on top of social expectations. 2. Selective Hospitality: Discover the art of hosting with intention. From gracefully declining invitations to offering one-on-one refuge instead of trying to please everyone, Kiki shares how to cancel plans politely, truthfully, and with elegant alternatives—because refined social navigation is always in style. 3. Autumnal Home Rituals: Bring seasonal charm to your home with old-money-approved practices: polishing silver, waxing floors, stocking quality candles, and rotating throws and portières. These subtle touches honor the season, elevate your home's gravitas, and add understated sophistication to everyday life. 4. Sensory Living: Cultivate warmth and romance by focusing on sound, scent, and texture—from cedar-scented storage to the Calandre glow of ambient lighting. Kiki explains how attentive, sensory-focused living can transform a simple space into a haven of comfort and style. 5. Wardrobe of Withdrawal: Learn to embrace seasonal fabrics like velvet and linen, revive the hostess dress for intimate gatherings, and indulge in self-care without falling into sloth. November is the perfect time to make quiet elegance and comfort your wardrobe mantra. 6. Intentional Connection: Reconnect with old friends and family thoughtfully. Create opportunities for others to contribute, and enjoy low-pressure, intimate evenings—like a chic aperitivo—where conversation and connection take precedence over performative socializing. No…vember is the month when introversion is chic, minimalism is luxurious, and balance—between solitude and connection, leisure and responsibility—is essential. Join Kiki Astor as she guides you through the subtle arts of selective hosting, seasonal refinement, and the timeless pleasures our ancestors once celebrated.  

What happens when artificial intelligence meets old money manners, style, and lifestyle? In this witty and insightful episode of Awkward Etiquette: Old Money & New Manners, Kiki Astor takes on the rise of the AI Old Money Girl — that picture-perfect, algorithm-crafted vision of luxury and composure who seems to live in a permanent Ralph Lauren ad. She's flawless, serene, and utterly unreal. She's also damaging to your self esteem and your sense of reality. Here's the thing: true sophistication isn't generated — it's cultivated. Kiki explores how to use AI tools elegantly, not for artifice but for authentic refinement. From organizing your wardrobe like an old-money heiress to planning seamless travel, writing better thank-you notes, hosting with warmth, or even curating digital routines that feel intentional — this episode is your guide to living beautifully in the modern age. You'll learn how to blend technology with timeless taste, how to stay discerning amid digital perfection, and how to make AI your most stylish assistant — not your aesthetic enemy. Because real elegance, luxury, and grace were never about resisting innovation… they were about mastering it, beautifully.  

"People will talk." For ages, this has been used as an excuse for not doing something that could be incredibly rewarding, be it starting a business, writing that book, making the art, or wearing the dress or the lipstick that makes your heart sing. In this week's episode of Awkward Etiquette- Old Money and New Manners, Kiki Astor explores one of the oldest social anxieties in the book: what people say about us—and why it still stings, even - or esecially- in the age of curated feeds and public personas. From the elegant discretion of old money circles to the performative transparency of modern social media, Kiki dissects the etiquette of reputation, how to navigate gossip gracefully, and why not caring what others think is the most powerful (and chic) move of all, and a social skill you'll want to develop as soon as possible. Listeners will learn how to protect their reputation without becoming paranoid, reclaim their narrative with composure, and turn criticism into quiet confidence. Kiki also unpacks how online notoriety has changed the rules of reputation—what still matters, what doesn't, and how to maintain dignity, mystique, and good manners even when "people will talk." It's a witty, psychological, and oddly reassuring guide to surviving the spotlight—whether it's the country club, the comments section, or your own circle of frenemies.

Hosting doesn't have to be hard — unless, of course, you make the tragic mistake of calling it a potluck. In this sparkling episode of Awkward Etiquette: Old Money & New Manners, Kiki Astor reveals the secrets of easy entertaining the old money way. From what to wear as a host or hostess to the timeless menu formulas that never fail, Kiki shares how to create effortless elegance (even on a budget). Expect chic dinner party ideas, old money anecdotes, and the kind of practical charm that transforms chaos into calm. You'll learn why gracious hosting is less about perfection and more about good manners, atmosphere, and the right lighting. Whether you're planning a weekend luncheon or a supper for six, this episode is your guide to sophisticated entertaining with wit, warmth, and a dash of scandalous truth. Topics include: old money entertaining, hosting on a budget, elegant dinner menus, what to wear when hosting, modern etiquette for hosts, and how to throw a proper dinner without losing your mind.

Beauty fades. Fortunes vanish. But style—the kind old money has mastered—is eternal. In this week's episode of Awkward Etiquette with Kiki Astor, we unravel the old money secret to staying unforgettable long after the roses wilt and the cheekbones soften. From patched Barbour jackets to grande dames in caftans, from Brooke Astor's birthday notes to Diana Vreeland's "garden in hell" apartment, this episode explores how true style outlasts both beauty and wealth. We'll meet the archetypes of age and authority—the Dowager, the Grande Dame, the Patriarch, the Patron, the Spinster Aunt, and more—each a living proof that permanence comes not from youth, but from cultivating eccentricity, rituals, and presence. Along the way, you'll discover why old money never throws anything away, how to turn quirks into calling cards, and the simple rituals you can borrow to make yourself unforgettable in a disposable age. If you've ever wondered why the old money aesthetic keeps trending—or how to build a style that even time can't erase—this is the episode for you.

What makes a home look quietly elegant… and what makes it look like a Cheesecake Factory in disguise? In this episode, Kiki Astor breaks down the common, supposedly "old money" decorating elements that actually cheapen a house when done wrong. From blinding white exteriors and shiny DIY lacquer walls to overdone marble countertops in modern farmhouse McMansions and Greek columns that aim to make a 60's ranch-style home look like a neo-Palladian estate but instead fall painfully flat, Kiki explains why these popular choices fail — and how true old money interiors whisper rather than scream. Drawing on the lessons of icons like Billy Baldwin, Tony Duquette, Bunny Mellon, Nina Campbell, and Ralph Lauren, she reveals the timeless principles of proportion, context, and patience that create authentic elegance. But don't worry if your home was built in this decade rather than inherited from Gilded Age great-grandparents, we have some savvy budget-minded tricks in this episode that will surprise you- and even some shocking hacks that you won't believe. Expect sharp insights, a few scandalous design confessions, and plenty of cheeky etiquette along the way, including working with a friend who is a decorator. Whether you're dreaming of old money style, redecorating on a budget, or just curious about the fine line between tasteful and tacky, this episode is your field guide to avoiding the most common "new money" décor mistakes.

In this week's episode of Awkward Etiquette with Kiki Astor, we're diving into the fascinating—and often unspoken—world of grooming, beauty, and personal presentation in high society. What's the difference between old money grooming and new money beauty trends? Why does understated polish signal heritage wealth, while flashy cosmetic enhancements can read as nouveau riche? From skincare routines and subtle hair maintenance to manicure etiquette, fragrance choices, and the art of looking "effortlessly well-kept," Kiki unpacks the codes that separate discreet refinement from try-hard opulence. Whether you're curious about old money style, preparing for social events, or simply want to elevate your everyday grooming habits with timeless elegance, this episode blends etiquette, history, and humor into practical advice you can use. Expect tips on navigating salon culture, luxury beauty treatments, cosmetic procedures, and the do's and don'ts of presenting yourself with sophistication in any setting.

Awkward Etiquette with Kiki Astor – Episode: "Starting Over Without Moving Zip Codes" Think you need a new city to reinvent yourself? Think again. In this episode, Romance author and old money and etiquette expert Kiki Astor dismantles the myth of "new city, new me" and reveals how true personal reinvention happens quietly, elegantly, and right where you are. From the psychology behind why we crave fresh starts—like escaping our past selves, chasing romance, or seeking novelty—to the subtle, old money–approved strategies for refining your identity without uprooting your life, Kiki shares actionable insights that blend sophistication, etiquette, and real-world charm. Discover how to: Embrace subtle reinvention by editing routines, wardrobe, and rituals instead of making dramatic changes Build community credibility and strengthen your local social circle while evolving your personal brand Become a tourist in your own town, uncovering hidden gems and cultivating intellectual leisure Refresh your home, hobbies, and reputation with grace, polish, and elegance Avoid common mistakes like equating reinvention with relocation, chasing trends, or broadcasting your "new self" Packed with historical and cultural examples—from Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis to Princess Diana and Lady Ottoline Morrell—this episode blends romance novel fantasy with real-life psychology, showing listeners how to cultivate sophistication, confidence, and transformation at home. Whether you're craving personal growth, elegant reinvention, local chic, subtle transformation, or old money wisdom, this episode teaches you how to feel renewed without a U-Haul, turning your everyday environment into a stage for your most sophisticated self.

In this episode of the Awkward Etiquette podcast, novelist, hostess, old money and etiquette expert and recovering debutante Kiki Astor unpacks the awkward etiquette mistakes, social faux pas, and embarrassing moments that happen to everyone — whether you're navigating high society, old money circles, or just a tricky cocktail party. From using the wrong fork at a formal dinner, spilling champagne at a gala, or being snubbed by a shop assistant, to passing gas in public, stopping up a toilet, or being pooped on by a bird, Kiki reveals how to recover with impeccable manners, polished social skills, and quiet confidence. Explore why grace under pressure is the ultimate status symbol, how to turn a mortifying moment into a masterclass in poise, and why another person's bad manners say far more about them than about you. Drawing on etiquette traditions, social graces, and real-life examples from Oprah Winfrey to Jennifer Lopez, this episode is your chic survival guide to overcoming humiliation, avoiding social blunders, and mastering the art of old money composure — no dramatic "Pretty Woman" scene required.