We examine the films nominated for a coveted Oscar this year and mostly say WTF? Who nominated TOP GUN: MAVERICK and what the heck were they smoking? We talk enthusiastically about nominations for BRENDAN FRASIER, MICHELLE YEOH and KE HUY QUAN and many others. We also talk about the state of Politics here in our home country of CANADA and we complain about how the DC Cinematic Universe is being decimated!
In which Cal and MD debate the merits of Christopher Walken as the Padishah Emperor in Denis Villaneuve's DUNE PART 2. We also name drom AVATAR, WILLOW, INDY 5 (and cringe a bit as we remember Shia LeBouf...shudder...) Bad CGI in the SHE-HULKI Trailer and the changes that have occurred in the Comic Book Industry. The art's just not what it used to be, Man! Calvin spins a dream of his own YOUTUBE Channel and waxes about the glory that it TODDLERS & TIARAS, DANCE MOMS, KAREN videos and the always popular AIRPORT FREAKOUT videos. We also weigh in on the gun control debate and ponder what could be the greatest season of SURVIVOR ever: SURVIVOR FROZEN NORTH!!!!! It's GOLDEN, folks! GOLDEN PATH, Golden!
In a shorter, but no less jam-packed follow up to our last episode, Calvin and MD talk knowledgeably about ARTISAN SOAPS, the return to television of PUNKY BREWSTER and FRASIER before getting into our thoughts about Marvel's WANDAVISION and other Marvel products coming to theaters (maybe?) or DISNEY+. Calvin talks about how he will hate-watch the Snyder cut of JUSTICE LEAGE and reviews a Netflix documentary MURDER AMONGST THE MORMONS. Along the way we touch on QANON, Harold Camping, POUTINE, mixing up boxes of cereal and marketing them as MIX-UPS and Neapolitan ice cream. Come for the conversation, stay for the snacks!
After a two-month hiatus, WE'RE BACK! What? Did we go somewhere nice? Yeah, sure. We went to Cancun. NO! What do you think? We're Canadian. We endured the winter as all patriotic Canadians do! But spring is coming and we're talking about RUSH LIMBAUGH, Alex Jones, PINNOCHIO (and I plug a very good Canadian short film called WOODMAN made by a buddy of mine). We cover DOCTOR PIMPLE POPPER, Lola Bunny, MISTER POTATO HEAD, Hugo, Doctor Seuss, CPAC, Ted Cruz, COVID ENNUI and the vaccinations that can't come fast enough. Calvin reviews a Korean film called THE SWORDSMAN, and a Netflix series THE AGE OF THE SAMURAI. We also review the CW's latest DC superhero show SUPERMAN & LOIS. Sure, it's a lot of rambling nonsense, but it's GOLD PLATED rambling nonsense! ...and it's part one of a TWO PART SPECIAL! Look for part 2 very soon!
Recorded before the recent attempt to overthrow the government, this is the episode where we review all the terrible things that happened in 2020. Ahh, how we long for such simpler times now, eh? For some reason we begin with a discussion about LITTLE HOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE. I don't know why. Along the way we namedrop JOHN SAXON, SEAN CONNERY, DIANNA RIGG, CHADWICK BOSEMAN, CHARLIE PRYDE, JOHN LE CARRE and others. Along the way Cal reviews WW84 and we talk about the Season 2 Finale of THE MANDALORIAN. PART ONE OF TWO! (Maybe three).
With the movie houses shut down due to Covid and the recent announcement that Warner Brothers is teaming up with HBO Max for same day streaming releases of all their upcoming films, we speculate about what's going to happen to the movie houses. Is going to the movies a passé concept? Are the movies dead? What will happen to the existing movie theaters? Will this be their chance to become something more than just distribution outlets for the big movie chains? We also talk about STAR WARS and THE MANDALORIAN, because you know what we're like we can't stay on topic any better than a Stormtrooper can hit a target. I think even Millie Bobbie Brown gets dragged into it at one point. I can't remember. Yes, we were a little inebriated. In these waning days of the Pandemic, who isn't?
In which Calvin relays the tale of his PANIC ATTACK AT THE SAFEWAY! We talk PANDEMIC PREPAREDNESS and the anticipation of the vaccines. Mysterious monoliths popping up all over the world, KRAMPUS and his ilk, plus Rudy Giuliani's star witness, MELISSA CARONE. She's peach, with her Renée Zellweger hair and her second best glasses. Why are you still reading this? Press play, dammit! Podcast gold awaits you!
What? Another episode? Holy Crap! I'm as surprised as you are! Smoking, drinking and other bad habits. Calvin tells about a recent trip to a local establishment selling refined and perfectly legal, combustible recreational, all natural relaxation products (snicker). Mike prefers a drink but Calvin is a sloppy drunk. Life, cats, the internet, the world, Non PC humour and TAN MOM? All this plus, for a change NO talking smack about Millie Bobbi Brown! (Ahhh... who are we kidding, of course we do. It's in our contract at this point). All sponsored by HAMBURGER HELPER! (Hah! We wish!) Sit back, relax, be cool and listen to your podcast pals as we talk about all things cool. Hey, man, why are your eyes so red?
But first, Calvin gives a mixed but enthusiastic review of THE SECRET SOCIETY OF SECOND BORN ROYALS and marvels over Miles Morales' cat from the SPIDER MAN video game. The swedes are not amused by DONALD DUCK and his flagrant disregard for pants. We mark the passing of music Legend Johnny Nash who sang the theme song for THE MIGHTY HURCULES, a Canadian animated classic series. Cal also spends some time ranting about THE BANANA SPLITS and MILLIE BOBBI BROWN (I think it's in our contract at this point... at least once an episode). Calvin reviews the classic 70's SF thriller CAPRICORN ONE. HALLOWEEN CANDY, VALENTINES CHOCOLATE and the various new iterations of STAR TREK. Calvin misses THE AMAZING RACE and, like any rational adults, we discuss the merits of PIZZA POPS and CORN DOGS and other culinary delights that can be had at your local convenience store for a mere pittance! It's great stuff, this week, folks! You gotta listen!
As we shiver in anticipation of the dreaded SECOND WAVE Cal and MD discuss the important things like HILLBILLY TERRORISTS, ROBOT DOGS, KILLER AI, CHADWICK BOSEMAN, NAMOR, Michael Jai White and why black actors could be big box office draws but aren't allowed to be, America's Dick, Trump's America, The Proud Boys hashtag gets corrupted by George Takei, Jerry Falwell Jnr. is a bad boy, THE BOYS SEASON 2, PERRY MASON, Tatiana Maslany - is she Hulk or is she ain't SHE-HULK? We look forward to season 2 of THE MADALORIAN and, of course, what would an episode of BALLOON JUICE be without a rant about MILLIE BOBBIE BROWN? (You guessed it, we review ENOLA HOLMES). It's a parade of pop culture from a uniquely Canadian perspective!
DEADLY SHARKS! PANT STEALING BISON! Trump committing election fraud by destroying the post office and it's being carried out in broad daylight! A REAL GIANT ROBOT in Yokohama, Japan! CAPTAIN FUNKATEER FUNK SWAGGER'S third big album drop on a dental theme! All that plus THE NEW MUTANTS! Okay, yeah, this one was late. I should have uploaded it last week because it's getting a bit ripe, but listen anyway. It's still Balloon Juice, and any time is a good time for that no matter what the vintage.
But that won't stop us from talking about THE UNBRELLA ACADEMY Season 2, STARGIRL or DOOM PATROL. We remember 1984's STREETS OF FIRE and MD bemoans the computer repairs that set him back, Cal bemoans ordering things online and recounts his recent ELLEN DEGENERIS kerfuffle. The we talk about fine art and FORTUNINO MATANA and RENE MAGRITTE, cuz we're intellectuals, y'all! We also review the recent PERRY MASON remake and we wax rhapsodic about the tv series MATADOR. We touch on Tom Cruise in space, BATTLEFIELD EARTH and the inimitable Barry Pepper! It's not just Balloon Juice, it's solid gold Balloon Juice!
In which our heroes, Cal and M.D., reflect on how Luke Skywalker is just some radicalized Jedi kid from a desert shithole planet. That leads us to a discussion of DUNE which leads us to MOBY DICK and via Bill Sienkiewicz, to THE NEW MUTANTS, LEGION and a discussion of comic books as pop culture. Calvin recalls his days as a high school superstar before we launch into a very serious discussion about POM, pimple popping videos, ear wax removal and Kotubukiya figures. We also admit how uncomfortable we are with the new FACE SWAP APP turning Luke Skywalker and the Enterprise crew into girls, LOONEY TUNES, racist tropes, racist syrup, white voice actors on THE SIMPSONS and the joys of punching Nazis. It's PODCAST GOLD this week, folks! You don't want to miss it!
WATCHMEN! HBO's limited series based on Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons graphic novel masterpiece gets an review! Listen as Cal and M.D. give their thoughts and wax enthusiastically about this landmark television series. A slightly spoilery review which covers the entire series and celebrates Damon Lindeloff's redemption as a creator of quality television!
QUID PRO NO! Calvin delivers a personal message and an appeal to all of his listeners in the Ukraine!
Cal and MD talk Christmas! EMMETT OTTER'S JUG BAND CHRISTMAS, EVEL KNEIVEL STUNT CYCLE, and, of course, KRAMPUS! Everything Christmas in one compact Cave of Cool Package!
SEASON 2 opens with a bang as we cover the firing of Don Cherry, The box office bomb that was CHARLIE'S ANGELS and TERMINATOR: DARK FATE. We talk HBO's WATCHMEN and Disney Plus' THE MANDALORIAN! We're back, Bitches!
In which our heroes, Cal and MD, talk about their cats, MD complains about the recent renovations to his house. Then we dig in and talk about what's going on in the world: GEORGE FLOYD and the police, DAVE CHAPELLE and his powerful special on Youtube, ANTIFA, Confederate statues, KATHERINE JOHNSON, BASS REEVES, WATCHMEN. We talk about our white privilege, and our support for marginalized people and the LGBTQ community. We talk about religious bigotry, THE “N” WORD, Walter Mosley and the writer's room for Star Trek: Discovery. White supremecists and racists: Don't listen to this show. YOU WILL BE TRIGGERED!!!!! Then we switch gears and talk about Octoberfest, beer, bratwurst and women with big boobs, which causes MD to talk about his wife and Calvin to reminisce about a young woman he once knew... okay, full disclosure: we were drinking when we recorded this, so it's still podcast gold, but it's DRUNKEN PODCAST GOLD! 'nuff said.
WE'RE BACK AND WE'RE RE-BRANDED, BITCHES! BALLOON JUICE #1, in which our heroes, Calvin and M.D., have to deal with another film starring Millie Bobbie Brown! ENOLA HOLMES is a Netflix film coming in September. Did you know David Lee Roth is now a paramedic? It's true! Cal and M.D. Talk about the Snyder Cut and explain why there is no SNYDER CUT of JUSTICE LEAGE! Michael Keaton returning to the role of Batman? MORBIUS starring Jared Leto, JOKER, DC's animated films culminate in JUSTICE LEAGUE DARK: APOKOLIPS WAR, Calvin's pathetic troll, Covid 19, AmazingCon! FOUNDATION becomes a TV series, SNOWPIERCER and what happens to Calvin when he doesn't have internet? It's an amazingly chock-full hour of damn good podcasting!
The MCU is moving into Phase 4. We talk about what it all means, what we think will happen and what we hope will happen. Calvin also goes on at length about MILLIE BOBBIE BROWN's lack of acting chops. And along the way we visit a Farmer's Market in Red Deer. Alberta. It's all fun and games until someone casts Millie Bobbie Brown!