Back Porch Btchn Podcast

Dating in Richmond is hard enough without outdated profile pictures, questionable footwear, Busch Gardens propositions, and men who apparently think an urn is appropriate first-date conversation.This week, Patryck is diving into the red flags, contradictions, and absolute chaos of modern dating—from Richmond's seemingly same ten gay men to the unforgettable date involving a stolen phone, a naked man, a live snake, and the cremated remains of a cat.But underneath the bitching is a bigger question: How do you keep giving people grace when you've worked hard on yourself and keep hitting dead ends?Dating is hard. Friendship is hard. Being an adult and maintaining relationships is hard. We're all doing this for the first time—and maybe we could stand to give each other a little grace.Yes, that's rich coming from a man spending an episode bitching about everybody.Guess what? It's entertainment.Pull up a chair. And for the love of God, no urns on the first date. 🌿🎙️

Someone died and the South showed up - with casseroles, commentary, and absolutely zero chill. 🫕⚰️This week Patryck is breaking down Southern funeral culture in all its predictable, butter-soaked, community-driven glory.The women are inside collecting grief AND intelligence ("Little Tucker's been in and out of the pen again"). The men are outside already appraising the truck and quietly plotting to get that boat. Someone showed up with the wrong dish IN A DISPOSABLE TRAY when she has a perfectly good casserole dish at home. And someone's nephew is about to inherit something he absolutely should not.We're talking:⚰️ The Logistics Operator - the unsung hero who stocked the tissues, refilled the ice, and directed the chicken nugget delivery to the kids👖 Funeral jeans paired with a black blazer (we all have a pair)🎵 The funeral music playlist that never changes and makes you cry before a word is spoken🥔 Funeral potatoes - cornflake topping and absolutely no apologies📖 Why the guest book matters more at a funeral than a wedding🦅 The out-of-towners who swooped in, ate the food, and disappeared the moment that grave was coveredThe bottom line: Southern funerals are miracles. They're one step below a wedding, except you cry more, eat just as much, and pull it together in under a week.Don't be Carol. Bring a real dish.Link in bio 🎧#BackPorchBitching #SouthernFunerals #CoveredDishCoveredGrave #SouthernCulture #FuneralPotatoes #PodcastLife #SouthernHumor #ComedyPodcast #RealTalk

BONUS EPISODE: Boot Scootin' Btchn'No Porch Mail this time — just a front-porch deep dive into 90s country with special guest Michelle - all the way from Hawaii!!From Garth Brooks to Reba, Patty Loveless to Shania Twain, we're running through the legends who defined the decade with favorite songs, underrated deep cuts, a few unexpected tears, and hot takes you didn't ask for but definitely needed. We close it out with a heartfelt tribute to the woman who paved the way for all of them: Dolly Parton. Grab a drink, get comfortable, and come sit on the porch with us.

Dating hasn't gotten any easier, and Patryck is back to prove it.After taking a much-needed break to focus on his mental health and self-discovery, Patryck returns to the dating conversation with a smaller list of tolerables, higher standards, and a LOT of stories from his time "just peeking" at the apps.This episode covers:The dating pool situation - specifically how the gay dating pool in Richmond currently resembles the Reflecting Pool in Washington DC. Stagnant, murky, green around the edges, and it would take more than a gully washer to clean it out.The Valentine's Day Ghost Phenomenon - three people resurfaced after months and years of silence. One after three months, one after six, and one after TWO YEARS. Patryck has a message for all of them and anyone considering the same move: you are a priority, not an option. Don't pull bald-headed-ho behavior and expect a warm welcome.The Guy of Two Years - popped back up claiming to be changed and improved, only to revert to his old self the moment he was held accountable. Blocked. Be gone.The Playboy - charming, attractive, toxic, and blessed in the posterior department. Boundaries have been set. They will be maintained. Mostly.The reality of modern dating - copy and paste conversations, people with six people "on deck," dating profiles full of group photos, and a pool that keeps getting younger. How are you supposed to date someone who wasn't alive during 9/11?Porch Mail: Group photos on dating profiles and people who say "DA" instead of "THE." Also - do NOT call Patryck "unc."The takeaway: Your shrinking list of tolerables isn't a problem - it's growth. You know yourself better than you did before. Standards aren't too high. You're a priority, not an option. And sometimes you just have to cue Reba and keep it moving."I'm a SURVIVOR. Reba's version. We're Southern."

"Southern Doesn't Equal Ignorant"We're BACK and Patryck is coming out swinging in the Season 2 premiere!After surviving the holidays, an ice storm, work travel, and allergies that almost took him out, Patryck is back on the porch and ready to defend Southern dialect against everyone who's ever assumed a drawl means dumb.This week:Ever heard "gooder'n snuff, not near as dusty?" How about "full as a tick" or "drunker than Cooter Brown?" Patryck breaks down the rich, colorful, and completely unhinged world of Southern sayings - and makes the case that the smartest people he knows say the wildest things.Porch Mail covers: Why the word "BOSS" needs to retire immediately, and a SHOCKING personal update about Stonewall Sports that longtime listeners will NOT see coming.Season 2 preview: Midwest Nice, catalytic converter theft, CEO at FULL TIME MOM, and Crocs vs Hey Dudes. Buckle up.The takeaway: Don't judge a book by its cover, its accent, or its colorful phrases. Different doesn't mean less than. Also - cattywampus is a real word and you should use it today."The smartest person in the room might just be the one with the strongest drawl."