Back to the Barre

“We are doing an episode this week that I have been dreading for 12 years," mourns Christi as she can't wait any longer now that the ALDC is finally heading to nationals once more! It's been a long and arduous Season 3, but it all comes to a head on "The Big, Not So, Easy". Fair warning: this episode has a lot to take in so it's a two parter. Don't yell at us we've warned you!Nationals are being held in New Orleans so the ALDC settles into Off Broadway Dance Studio (or at lease a place nearby) to prepare. Things get off to a rocky start with the final Pyramid of the season. Payton is included even though she hadn't competed in the week prior, and even more baffling is the fact bellow her is Kendall who's duet was last week's standout performance. Abby then announces that the girls will be paired off against one another in solo matches to determine who will move on to Nationals, though as the moms note based on the choreography of each solo it's really obvious who Abby intends to win each pairing.But those plans hit a speed bump when all hell breaks loose over drinks at a local bistro. The moms are goofing around with voodoo dolls when Kristie informs them that Asia will be leaving the ALDC tomorrow to explore opportunities in LA. While that was obviously planned for (wink, wink), Christi and Leslie getting into a drunken fight was not. A producer has to step in to break up the fight and Christi unsuccessfully tries to get Leslie arrested. At least for Christi it's all downhill from there.Quotes“[Abby] says to Brooke, ‘Kelly swore she had it in. I believe her.’ That’s the only time in her life that Abby believed you, and it was because it got Brooke in trouble!’" (10:46-10:54 | Christi)“Kendall always wants her mom to shut up. At least our kids never told us to shut up? Like I think in the back of my kids minds they were like, ‘Mom you’re going to get me in trouble,’ but I knew they knew I was sticking up for them.” (11:36-11:50 | Kelly)“How many weeks did we have to sit there and pretend like, ‘Oh you have a chance!’ If that’s being a victim then yes I will say I was being a victim. But I wasn’t being a victim, that’s the storyline!" (29:37-29:48 | Christi)“Jill goes to Melissa, ‘As your friend I don’t recommend that,’ qnd then Melissa is like, ‘BOOBIES!’" (32:02-32:07 | Christi)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiakFollow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"I don't even know what episode it is. Season 3 Episode 36? There's so many episodes in Season 3, who thought this was a good idea!" exclaims Christi as it is indeed Episode 36 "Do-Si-Do and Do-Si-Don't". In order to stretch the season out as much as possible this week, Abby threatens that the girl's performance at In10sity Dance Buffalo Invitational will determine if they go to nationals or not. This is weird for many reasons. For one it's pretty clear who will and won't be going already, but also as long as you have money pretty much anyone can go! But we need to stretch out the Mackenzie and Asia rivalry just a teensy bit more to get people invested in Raising Asia, so the pressure is on.Abby reveals that Dance Spirit Magazine is looking to highlight one of the girls to showcase what the day in the life of an ALDC member is really like. Of course the girls they select is Maddie, though a little prodding by Jill reveals it was Abby who actually insisted on Maddie. Jill sporadicly shows up at Melissa's house during the photoshoot to try and convince the magazine to feature Kendall, though her persistence is met with annoyed looks. Jill gets a minor win when Kendall is paired up with Maddie for a duet, though Holly seems confused as to why Jill is excited at all.Jill knack for the spotlight continues at competition where she dawns full cowboy gear in honor of the country themed group dance and does a little dance, "Mackenzie taught her". Oh Jill, never change (maybe take off the chaps). Quotes“Hylands in their permanent spot [on the Pyramid]! I just never realized how much at the bottom they were. Oh it's always. And what's funny about it is Holly always talks about how Nia was at the bottom of the Pyramid. No, it was Paige and Brooke." (10:20-10:35 | Christi & Kelly)“She is saying insane things to the children. Although at this point our kids aren't even phased. Uh uh, I don't think they are. I think it goes in one ear and out the other” (12:40-12:50 | Christi & Kelly)“If you ever got called into that studio by yourself, it was an instant vomit trigger." (29:16-29:22 | Christi)“Boy Christi, you're going to fuck it all up in Jackson Square next week, no need to worry. Throwing your drink! Ugh, what a waste of a good hurricane." (35:51-36:06 | Christi & Kelly)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiakFollow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"Who would take their child to a dance class that, when the dance teacher tells you to do something, you have a fucking panic attack?" asks Kelly as she reflects on the moment she finally reached the end of her rope with Dance Moms on "Divas Las Vegas". While the show attempted to tie off the proceedings with a small moment of Abby being kind, Kelly knew she was done by the end of this week's competition in Las Vegas.True to her word last week, Abby gives both Brooke and Paige solos. However, she will not be doing the choreography. Those duties will be taken up by choreographer Ricky Palomino. The issue is Abby is clearly resentful of Ricky's presence as, despite what they claim in the episode proper, Ricky's involvement was a Lifetime decision to give Paige and Brooke someone to work with who wouldn't just openly sabotage them. So Abby sets about singling out Kelly's daughters, designing an impromptu test for all the girls to solo perform their section of the group routine. Paige doesn't take well to the proceedings and ends up having a panic attack, noting that while she likes the ALDC she doesn't like Abby.Paige's high anxiety carries over into the competition where even during her own solo she can't manage to shake off the undue stress Abby has placed on her. She fails to complete her performance and Abby puts Paige on blast to the entire audience. This does not sit well with Kelly, whose finally been pushed to the edge one time too many.Quotes“A typhoon Vegas! And me and you are [stuck] in the restaurant eating salt! Pure salt. We were literally eating a salt sampler. It was so good!" (6:17-6:30 | Christi & Kelly)“Watch the cracks when you step on the sidewalk. Remember, step on a crack and you break your mothers back. Like I don't understand what that had to do with anything? I think she's on crack!” (21:03-21:13 | Christi & Kelly)“Abby was screaming at me mid-shit. Horrible." (25:22-25:26 | Christi)“You were no longer an ALDC member, neither was I. We never signed the contract. We would brign our kids to rehersal as far as dance Moms stuff, and I think they took a handful of classes here and there, but we weren't going to that studio because whent he crew wasn't there the kids had literally no protection from her." (51:41-42:04 | Christi & Kelly)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiakFollow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"They always blame everything on me. Like Abby being there is because of me? I had to be there. I was forced to come back!" Kelly notes for what increasingly feels like the millionth time as the show attempts to use Kelly and her kids as drama fodder on "On-Again, Off-Again Abby". Abby is still out for the week but makes a special appearance at the ALDC to present Kelly with a threat. Abby doesn't want Kelly there, but if she "insists" then Abby promises to work her children to the bone with new solos every week. That of course never happened, so all this meeting accomplished was scaring Brooke and Paige over the fact they have a mom whom Abby dislikes. And just as soon as she's in the episode, Abby disappears once more. She doesn't even show up for competition, which while rude is still a very much welcome break from the madness.Meanwhile Melissa is fretting over whether Abby will select her kids for Nationals. It doesn't matter that it's the producer's call who actually goes, Melissa sneaks off to discuss the matter with Abby privately. Though Maddie's spot is confirmed, Melissa tries to play coy with the other moms. To what end? Who knows, it's not as if anybody thought Maddie wouldn't be going.Cathy's Candy Apples are back, thankfully sans Anthony. In his place to stir up some trouble is Hadley's mom Yvette, who is gunning to climb the ranks as a choreographer. Although she puts her best foot forward, Cathy ends up getting credit for all of this week's choreography which leads to Yvette having a meltdown at competition. It does beg the question though, "Do you really want to be considered the next Anthony?"Quotes“There is a producer who said, and it's kinda cruel, but they were like, "Remember when Mrs. Miler was dying for like 18 episodes and every episode was saying she was going to die this week and then she said no and kept living. Like what do we do?'" (15:51-16:03 | Christi)“You know I wouldn't know what an AMF is. I never even knew what LOL was until recently.” (21:54-22:00 | Kelly)“'I might just be allergic to something. You're allergic to Dance Moms. It's not your comfort show it's your trigger." (43:08-43:13 | Christi & Kelly)“Nevermind. I was going to say she's so nervy, but I'm about to be a giant bitch coming up so nevermind." (1:13:40-1:13:52 | Christi)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiakFollow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"If we're being honest, you cannot script Abby," admits Christi as she tries to articulate why Dance Moms was such a success and Dance Moms: Miami only ran one season. It's one of the many topics discussed on this week's bonus Q&A episode! If you're a member of the Back to the Barre Patreon then you already know it's the best place to get your questions answered directly by Christi and Kelly, but not ever listener is a subscriber! We thought what better way to wrap up this 4th of July holiday weekend than to give the main feed a little taste of what they're missing with a whole Q&A episode!What was the process like for filming dances? Were the dances really recorded twice, how did that work? Will the production ever release the unedited footage of Abby and Kelly's fight? Speaking of which, where did the girls go when fights were happening between the Moms and Abby? Were they whisked away and unaware of what was happening?Tune-in to find out the answers to these questions and more!Quotes“Because it's a holiday week... and there's a lot going on... and we didn't really want to watch Dance Moms! We both called each other cause we were supposed to be filming and, ugh, I didn't watched it yet!” (1:51-2:08 | Christi & Kelly)“Remember Brooke didn't know like half the things that happened with us and we didn't know half the things that happened with them. You know I think when we were fighting at the studio and they were around, they would take them to the bathroom I remember a lot.” (13:56-14:09 | Kelly)“You know my kids say I'm scary. Like when they would bring friends and boyfriends over they were always very quite and my kids were always like, 'They're afraid of you.' do you think they're afraid of you because of the show? Yeah! They're certainly weren't afraid of me in real life, I'm not scary.'" (21:49-22:03 | Christi & Kelly)“I need to know if there is something in the water in Pittsburgh cause there's some crazy bitches all in one condensed area. We are nuts." (40:00-40:07 | Christi)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiakFollow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"This was the greatest moment in Dance Moms history as far as I was concerned." exclaims Christi since Abby is away "with her mother" and Gia is left in charge on "Gone, Abby Gone". There isn't even a Pyramid this week, how could this not be the best week ever? Cause Abby still found a way to make it awful! But most of that wasn't shown on camera, so prepare for a lot of 4th wall breaking to find out what really went down that Fourth of July weekend in 2013.Kelly is contractually forced to bring her kids back to the studio. The show frames this situation as Kelly sneaking-in her kids while Abby is away, just to get Brooke that solo she 100% wants. This immensely upsets Leslie, who is convinced Kelly has it out for Payton and fears they will be kicked to the curb if Kelly returns. A feud begins to quickly fuel between the two moms, though Kelly doesn't have anything against Payton in reality, so it's rather one sided. Kelly takes the bold step to call Abby and request a solo for Brooke, to which Abby informs Gia that if Brooke is given a solo she'll be fired. Gia downplays the situation and gives Brooke a solo to practice, knowing what may come of it. To add insult to injury it's far and away the worst choreography Brooke has ever been given. When Abby calls in to give the Hylands a piece of her mind, she crosses a line with Brooke that suspiciously didn't make it to air.Christi also takes the crown for "Worst Dance Moms Outfit". So tune-in to hear Christi relive the horror of it all!Quotes“Paris Hilton's book... and she refers to us in there! Oh yeah, about how ugly our clothes are. It's not Dance Moms level ugly? Ok Paris fuck off! Shut up! I mean maybe...” (8:39-8:51 | Christi & Kelly)“Every time you show up Payton gets kicked back off the team. But that's not my fault. That's a TV show, there's only so many spots!” (26:23-26:29 | Christi & Kelly)“So you're in your white minivan with your bar of clothes in the back and they came up. Walk me through it. Were they like you need to ask for a solo? Absolutely. None of us wanted a solo. None of us wanted to even be back." (30:16-30:27 | Christi & Kelly)“Let's take a poll. Do you think it's hoodlum if you say the F-word or do you think you're a hoodlum if you break a beer bottle on someone's face?" (42:08-42:16 | Christi)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiakFollow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"What do we do with [Broadway Baby]? Put a Big Mac inside of her!" jokes Kelly as after many months of waiting Abby finally is reunited with Broadway Baby's stuffed corpse on "The Dancing Dead". But as Christi and Kelly point out, it's pretty obvious that Broadway Baby got a bit more than a facelift at the taxidermist. While the show notes Baby has a new set of eyes, the fur looks remarkable whiter than when Baby was alive! If the fur isn't even Baby's... could you even call this Broadway Baby at all? Abby decides Baby needs a proper-Abby sanctioned tribute dance and bestows Nia with her first solo in many months, though with choreography that has Nia literally bouncing around on her butt it isn't exactly the comeback Holly hoped for. Kelly makes her contractually mandated return this week as she "invites" the moms over to her house, with the exception of Melissa who is intentionally left out over her most recent actions over the break. While the moms can't convince Kelly to bring her kids back yet, she does "agree" to join the team on their trip to Xpression Dance Competition in Florida. Of course this doesn't sit well with Abby, who decides the best course of action is to block Kelly from sitting down during the show. Kelly responds in-kind by standing next to Abby for four hours, a full on Mexican standoff.Elsewhere Kristie Ray begins to prep for Raising Asia and starts to stir the pot as best she can, even though as far as the other moms can tell she has no reason to do so!Quotes“I swear to god I thought that was Abby. Just for a second I looked, did you see me get really scared? Oh my god I would die. Well they said she wasn't here not long ago. And you're like, 'Today?!' No not today.'” (4:53-5:02 | Christi & Kelly)“I say, 'I'm on the verge of needing a drink.' We're always on the verge of needing a drink. At this point I'm on the verge of needing it intravenous! Hey I got a port!'” (26:07-26:19 | Christi & Kelly)“They bring in broadway baby. That has new fur! That is not that baby's fur. No. I think it's like when someone switches a baby at the hospital, someone switched that dead dog!" (34:30-34:41 | Christi & Kelly)“If you ever want to see Kelly dance just AI her, cause she can't dance if there isn't choreography." (1:04:13-1:04:17 | Christi)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiakFollow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"Crabapples? I wonder how many things we can say that's not Candy Apples? We really go for it." observes Christi as the second half of "Clash of the Dance Moms" boils down to quite a lot of name calling and not much else. This week the ALDC is competing at Believe National Talent Competition in Lancaster, PA with Payton and Leslie filling in for the Hylands. Leslie is gunning for a permanent position, dragging Kelly's name through the mud every chance she gets and keeps reminding eveyroen to imagine a world in which she's a permanent ALDC fixture. While the insults to Kelly are music to Abby's ears, the rest of the ALDC unsurprisingly feels different as the only thing Payton brings to the table is sass, and they already don't need more of that! Even Abby's patiences gets tested by Payton's when the young dancer is revealed to be unprepared with her costuming, something Kelly and her girls rarely ever dropped the ball on.Anthony and Cathy continue to bicker over in the Candy Apples camp. Anthony threatens to leave if Cathy doesn't give him his space, he wants to insult her dancers as he sees fit. The show brings out Anthony's mother to admonish all those who would insult her son for his actions, expertly ignoring how vitriolic he is to everyone else. If there's one thing in Season 3 that continues to be annoying above all else it's Anthony being cruel and suffering no consequences for it!Tune-in to find out which fight this week was A LOT more tense in-person.Quotes“I just had another fraternity check-in next door. That's crazy. I don't understand why boys like pink houses. I don't know either. I'm telling you they're looking for Dance Mom Christi. They're gonna have to keep looking cause I'm not hanging out with fraternity boys. That sound illegal on a lot of levels.” (1:21-1:38 | Christi & Kelly)“I love that I'm not in this episode. I just get to listen to you be the bitch this whole time!” (21:42-21:46 | Kelly)“Anthony warns Cathy that he can just leave and that half of her team would follow him if he did. I highly doubt that they would leave a TV show to follow you." (27:27-27:36 | Kelly)“No the competition is not fixed, but every judge that's rating the kids liked our kids because they liked them on Dance Moms. So was it fixed? No. Was it fair? No!" (42:28-42:42 | Christi)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiakFollow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"We're not going to lose to that evil woman. I'm the only evil woman in your life. Well that's for sure." jokes Kelly while enjoying the fact she's still in exile during this week's episode. As "Clash of the Dance Moms" kicks off Abby is makes her disdain for Kelly's absence abundantly clear as Paige and Brooke are slotted at the bottom of the pyramid. With Kelly unable to criticize Abby, attention turns to Holly who is upset at Nia's middling placement on the Pyramid. Holly says she believes Nia is not receiving the attention from Abby that she needs to excel the way Abby insists that she wants, though Abby's attention is a double edged sword and our Bitches wonder if Holly isn't quite thinking through what might happen.This week's competition pits the ALDC against Cathy and Abby is taking no chances. For the group dance Abby gets ambitious and choreographs a piece entitled "Open Waters" which will require a prop shoreline that the girls will have to dance around. If they're not going to use it why bother with the stress of it? The creative direction leaves the moms somewhat in the cold, and Kelly's absence continues to add to the confusion of the group direction. To fill in the Kelly filled-hole in the group, Abby brings in Leslie and her daughter Payton, which of course "excites" everyone! But with Black Patsy back on the Candy Apples side, it might be useful to have a little Leslie in your corner.Quotes“Well I don't think you look sick. I think you look like a bitch. Why thank you. Thank you. I am Bitch #2!” (15:04-15:09 | Christi & Kelly)“I'm telling you like as somebody who was there you saw 1/100th of the fight. That fight was scary. (...) I really thought it was going to be physical. Like truly scary like physical.” (20:58-21:24 | Christi)“If I had a drink I would drink for contradiction. I don't have a drink! Ugh, well I'm not drinking that protein shot. Haven't opened it yet. Sorry, I'm ignoring all headbands because I do not want to drink that shit." (26:47-27:03 | Christi & Kelly)“So upstairs you and Holly comment on the group and how difficult it is trying to figure out what Abby is trying to portray. Yeah because it was stupid." (47:12-47:22 | Christi & Kelly)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiakFollow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"We're not three minutes in and I want to puke," groans Christi as Dance Moms moves away from recaps and back into the thick of it with "Recital Rebellion". It's time once again for the annual ALDC recital and, in the intervening weeks since filming, it seems that something has gone amiss because even before Pyramid begins its clear everyone is on edge. No one more-so than Kelly, who is immediately greeted with Paige being placed at the bottom of the Pyramid for a minor error. When Kelly points out Maddie wouldn't have been held to such a standard, Abby punishes Paige by making her the only child who has to learn a new solo for the recital. This outrages Kelly as it's a clear attack against her daughter, but Abby won't budge. Consequently Kelly pulls her daughters from the recital, resulting in Abby staging a scene demanding another child take Paige's place, which nobody wants to do (so of course she has Maddie take it).Admits the prep for the recital Abby gifts the girls pieces from her new clothing line. Christi notes this is less of a gift and more of "Free Abby Promotion" with the girls as her billboards. The girls in turn also compete for the cover of Dance Track Magazine, which despite Abbys best efforts to skew the costume choices, doesn't go to a Ziegler for once! Plus can Jill make Pyramid with her own recital performance? Tune-in to find out!Quotes“It's season 3 episode 30. It's fucking episode 30, like how many episodes is this god forsaken season?" (26:55-27:02 | Christi)“There's something coming up that I say and I would never say those words in my life. It was the stupidest thing I ever heard. I sound like a doofus when I say it. I'm like who wrote that? I must have been tired. Either that or drunk! I'll say it I'm drunk! Whatever you need me to say, can I go home?” (46:04-46:25 | Christi & Kelly)“You're out! Call the cops! Why? What did you do? Hey but I got a cute haircut! Look for the one with cute trendy haircut! It's really cute, long in the front and short in the back. Oh gosh now I'm going to be bald. It'll be like go find the bald lady.” (1:08:18-1:08:35 | Christi & Kelly)“I love that you said just improve. What?! How do I sign up for this kind of treatment? I know! Like where is the line? I wanna sign my name on it!” (1:25:07-1:25:19 | Christi & Kelly)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiakFollow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"We want to know how long it's going to take for somebody to come and try and arrest us. Wouldn't that be hysterical if we got arrested here? It would be a full circle moment and obviously about a decade in the making," our lovely Bitches observe as they reunite in person for a visit back to the old ALDC studio (wine bottle in hand and 100% not trespassing in any way) to cover Season 3's "Abby's So Far This Season..."Yes, it's yet another another recap episode! Why wasn't this aired after the Chatter episodes instead of just one episode after resuming normal episodes? Your guess is as good as ours! These episodes aren't notoriously well liked, but this one does offer the rare opportunity to see extended dance sequences in full, which includes some of Paige's best moves that Lifetime never bothered showing the first time around.Quotes“If I see Abby zoom by in her wheelchair while we're filming... It'll be the best day of my life. Yeah but it's also going to be the end of mine cause I'm gonna drop dead. I''m filming her. I will figure out how to work my phone, and I will not even let it be blurred!" (9:12-9:29 | Christi & Kelly)“[On SNL] the old Jojo and the new Jojo are talking about her being bad. She's like,"I was out all night doing bad things.'" That would be us! We're out there too Jojo. We're doing bad girls things right now except it's sunny not dark. We're daytime bad girls!” (23:12-23:38 | Christi & Kelly)“Abby says,"Jill what were you thinking? She is a member of this team. Jill, you need to act like a lady!'" Do ladies pour a tomato soup can in their Chinese beef and broccoli? Do ladies throw chairs at children? Do ladies empty out their purse and find weird cookies? Do ladies leave whole Big Macs under their chair? We could keep going, but we don't have that much time Christi!” (31:50-32:18 | Christi & Kelly)“Do you really think Gino really has what it takes to be Maddie's partner? I don't know but let Gino prove his dancing ability, he shouldn't be having his daddy doing the work for him.'" Have you seen Gino dance as an adult? ... I have no words. It's so fucking good, I cannot. (Proceeds to play video) It is one fo the best dances I've ever seen, so it's really funny when they say Gino needs to prove himself. I'm like dude!” (40:54-42:38 | Christi & Kelly)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiakFollow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

“This next scene is genuinely one of the wildest scenes I’ve ever seen on television. I cannot believe the words that are going to come out of Melissa’s mouth,” notes Christi as Abby's long not-awaited return to the ALDC heralds just as much drama as one would fear on "Tap Versus Hip Hop". If Pyramid weren't enough to dredge back up the Chloe loosing to Maddie debacle from the previous competition, Abby once again pits the two girls against one another with dueling solos. While Maddie gets a tap number that plays to her strengths, Chloe gets saddled with a Hip hop dance that is practically doomed form the get-go.The moms fume over Melissa's betrayal of their oath not to let their kids appear of AUDC, but Melissa plays dumb and acts as if anyone would have accepted the offer. Christi flys a little to close to the sun with her insults and brings out the worst in Melissa, who starts making outlandish claims about how the other moms treat her children. Melissa often finds success by getting on Abby's good side, but when Maddie underperforms ever so slightly at competition, it becomes clear that Melissa has a limit to what she'll tolerate.Quotes“This episode was filmed the first week in June. It aired in July. That is a fast turnover. We are now like only a month out from release. That is insane!" (15:11-15:25 | Christi)“I need to chug and do shots. [Abby] is not only wearing a headband, she’s wearing a headband with fake bangs attached. No! Yes, that are not the same color as her hair. Oh my god I missed it. It’s like a big swoop, like a big curtain and it doesn’t look like real hair at all. It looks like plastic barbie hair.” (39:12-39:35 | Christi & Kelly)“Abby says to Melissa, “This is why kids need to be homeschooled, Mackenzie is ridiculous!”’ Because of recess! And guess what? In about three months? [Maddie and Mackenzie] are homeschooled. That was probably Mackenzie’s last day of school.” (46:45-46:59 | Christi & Kelly)“Abby reminds [the girls] that this is there first competition back since she was filming AUDC, and she’s like don’t let me regret coming home. Meanwhile we’re all thinking you can go back. Go ahead! Don’t let the door hit your ass on the way out. See ya!” (1:04:19-1:04:35 | Kelly)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiakFollow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

“You get so much accomplished without ever moving all that much. God he keeps bringing that up!” Christi and Kelly note as even the guests struggle to breath life into "Dance Moms Chatter: Part 2". Although Abby is still in LA filming Abby's Ultimate Dance Competition, she stuck around long enough for a sit down talk with Melissa, Jeff, guest comedian Alec Mapa and blogger Nadine Rajabi. But unlike last week where the producers could bring out Black Patsy and showcase drama clips in an attempt to enrage Chrisiti and Kelly into beefing, they can't go after Abby!What remains is the guests attempting to drum up some fun with pre-scripted humor, which just can't compare to that off-the-cuff savagery of our Bitches! No attempts are made to engage with Abby's behavior or question Melissa at all. Instead we're presented with such colorful conversations as whose the worst dressed, which results in Abby somehow picking Kelly!? Even Christi will be the first to admit she dressed much worse than Kelly, and that's not even mentioning Jill!Quotes“And Brooke is buying for everybody at the bar. Well that’s because we have a per diem. So Brooke is like I’m buying everyone here a drink and I’m like it’s on Lifetime. Finally after all these years it’s on Lifetime!" (7:34-7:46 | Christi & Kelly)“I really, to this day, would love a download of what the rules of the Bible Game are. Exactly! I don’t know there was a Bible Game! Let’s play the Bible Game! What are the rules? I’m willing to play I just need to know the rules!” (18:11-18:29 | Christi & Kelly)“Have you ever met someone who is more observant of your face than Jill Vertes? No. Cathy always pointed out shit on our faces too. Jill took it to another level. Jill would be like, “Christi, you have one eyebrow about a third of the way in, one centimeter down that needs plucking.”’ She probably hates looking at me!” (36:33-36:59 | Christi & Kelly)“We were talking at the bar about how we knew if you had pick-ups because they made you use words that weren’t in your vocabulary. I tell you that all the time! I know it and your kids know it too. What’s with all this talking about me at the bar? Who all is there and why are you all talking about me? Listen it was fun. I’m sure it was for you.” (52:15-52:38 | Christi & Kelly)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiakFollow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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"My obnoxious level in this episode escalates very quickly," notes Christi as before "Dance Moms Chatter Part 1" can even begin she's already pretty drunk. But in a rare occurrence, Christi and Kelly don't have to hide their booze in coffee cups because this week, martini glasses are out in the open! With Jeff Collins moderating it's clip-show week on Dance Moms with special guests Patsy, internet blogger Nadine Rajabi and comedian Lisa Arch. Christi is famously not a fan of these episodes as it served as little more than an excuse to get replay value out of their fights and trauma, but this week at least it appears Christi simply was too drunk. The amount of "Amen to that!" coming from Christi is enough to make anyone cringe, but especially Christi.Segments include a Dance Moms trivia contest between the guests, with Jeff shilling out all of $10 for the winner! Plus what would a Jeff Collins hosted talk show be without some classic Jeff "comedy". We also get some quality hot-takes, like who Patsy thinks the biggest crybaby is on Dance Moms. However, do Christi and Kelly find themselves wishing they had made more of a connection with Patsy? Could she have been the ally against Abby they needed all along? Also is Kelly wearing Christi's clothes!?Quotes“Ok, my dress was ugly. You were wearing an ugly dress but it was my dress so it’s double ugly." (8:37-8:42 | Christi)“All of these compilations where it’s back to back… and I’m like oh my god that’s hard to watch: That’s exactly what the clip show is like. When I say the clip shows are hard for me to do it’s because that’s all it was. It was every freaking fight back to back to back. So there was no breathing in-between. It was go from one fight to the next fight and it was so aggressive.” (24:54-25:20 | Christi)“I love how foul language is Abby’s barometer for bad behavior. No you don’t use foul language, you just torture children.” (29:55-30:02 | Christi & Kelly)“And you’re like can I get an amen! What is wrong with me!? What is wrong with me? Please someone muzzle the blonde. In the Big Bird dress. It’s terrible.” (1:01:31-1:01:45 | Christi & Kelly)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiakFollow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.