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Beat Motel Zine

Author: Andrew Culture

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Welcome to Beat Motel Zine, the comedy-infused alt-music podcast! Born from a zine from the DIY scene, we blend laughs with punk, metal, and everything offbeat. Discover the weirder side of bands, from unintentionally funny stage antics to musical mishaps. Tune in for a profane, comedic journey through alternative tunes, where every episode is a laugh. Join us as we explore music's funniest fringes with a punk rock spirit!

Can the alternative music scene and comedy mix? Of course they can; we'll prove it to you. Warning, episodes contain creative profanities in the vein of The Thick of It.
155 Episodes
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Indie music didn't start in a damp Manchester rehearsal room with a bunch of miserable lads wearing oversized raincoats. It was pinched straight from Motown. In this episode, Andrew Culture and Dr Sam trace the line connecting Detroit's assembly lines, Peckham bedrooms, and sweaty, talcum-powdered floors in Wigan to show how Northern Soul accidentally birthed British indie, Britpop, and baggy culture. We cover: The Peckham militant who ran a Motown fan club, bought records for Paul McCartney, and told Mick Jagger to jog off. Why Barry Gordy tried to destroy every copy of a song that later sold for £100,000. How The Smiths, The Charlatans, and Soft Cell basically owe their entire careers to American soul B-sides. 7:50AM end-of-night rituals and the birth of UK music tribalism. Amazing additional voice clips provided by Voiceover Artist Martin Whiskin - https://www.martinwhiskin.co.uk/   CITATION LINKS Dave Godin, Northern Soul & His Legacy Dave Godin's Guardian obituary detailing his civil rights activism, founding the Tamla Motown Appreciation Society, coining "Northern Soul," and his ashes being scattered at Wigan Casino: https://www.theguardian.com/news/2004/oct/20/guardianobituaries.artsobituaries BFI documentation on Dave Godin and the history of the Northern Soul movement: https://www.bfi.org.uk/features/northern-soul-brief-history The Twisted Wheel & Manchester Soul History BBC archive detailing Manchester's Twisted Wheel as the original birthplace of Northern Soul: https://www.bbc.co.uk/manchester/content/articles/2008/10/09/twisted_wheel_feature.shtml The official Manchester Digital Music Archive entries on The Twisted Wheel's history: https://www.mdmarchive.co.uk/venue/the-twisted-wheel The £100,000 Frank Wilson Record BBC News report on the history of Frank Wilson's "Do I Love You (Indeed I Do)" and its record-breaking auction sale: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lancashire-53603417 Wigan Casino & The "Three Before 12" Ritual The Guardian's retrospective on the Wigan Casino all-nighters and the 7:50 AM end-of-night ritual: https://www.theguardian.com/music/2013/sep/19/wigan-casino-northern-soul Andy Rourke, The Smiths & James Jamerson MusicRadar / Bass Player interview archive where Andy Rourke breaks down his Motown influences and James Jamerson's impact on his basslines: https://www.musicradar.com/news/bass/andy-rourke-on-the-smiths-basslines-gear-and-johnny-marr-611116 Soft Cell & Gloria Jones Official Charts history of Soft Cell's "Tainted Love" taking Gloria Jones' 1965 Northern Soul track to UK #1 in 1981: https://www.officialcharts.com/chart-news/flashback-1981-soft-cell-tainted-love__23725/ The Charlatans & Madchester's Soul Roots Tim Burgess interview discussing the soul and organ roots behind "The Only One I Know": https://www.clashmusic.com/features/in-conversation-tim-burgess/ Fatboy Slim & Just Brothers Sampling Bridge WhoSampled technical breakdown showing Norman Cook sampling Just Brothers' 1965 track "Sliced Tomatoes" for "The Rockafeller Skank": https://www.whosampled.com/sample/2015/Fatboy-Slim-The-Rockafeller-Skank-Just-Brothers-Sliced-Tomatoes/
Pirates

Pirates

2026-08-2401:10:41

So, what do you actually know about pirates ? Probably nothing, considering most of your historical knowledge comes from Johnny Depp, Disney rides, and an actor in the 1950s laying the West Country accent on way too thick . In this episode, Andrew Culture and Dr Sam derail the podcast train immediately to talk about DIY studio tape failures, prison etiquette, whether female pirates fought with their tits out, and how Henry Avery managed to nick £100 million before vanishing into thin air like a proper legend . They also dive into why keytars in metal bands are a crime against humanity, why accordions have no business being associated with 17th-century sea shanties, and the terrifying reality of a dirty butt plug left at an Ipswich bus stop . It's educational, it's completely unnecessary, and it's mostly accurate if you don't ask a real historian . Amazing additional voice clips provided by Voiceover Artist Martin Whiskin - https://www.martinwhiskin.co.uk/
What do a 13-year-old Phil Collins, a violent music manager dangling people off balconies, and a psychedelic album packaged in a tobacco tin have in common? They are all part of the completely unhinged history of The Small Faces. In this episode of Beat Motel, Andrew and Gimby (yes, he's back) dig into the story of Steve Marriott—arguably the greatest white soul singer the UK ever produced—and how his career peak might have actually been playing the Artful Dodger in 1960. We talk about Don Arden (Sharon Osbourne's notoriously terrifying dad), fixing the charts with mod networks, paying for suits with stolen royalties, and why putting an LP in a round tin is a structural disaster for record shop shelves. There's also some completely unnecessary sidetracks about Sting's real name, Rod Stewart's tight trousers, and a random bloke named Chris walking into the studio mid-record. Amazing additional voice clips provided by Voiceover Artist Martin Whiskin - https://www.martinwhiskin.co.uk/ YouTube Video Description The bizarre history of the 1960s mod scene and the absolute chaos behind the music industry. In this episode, we chart the rise and fall of The Small Faces, from their childhood theatrical roots to becoming rock icons—all while getting completely fleeced by their management. Discover how future stars like Phil Collins and Davy Jones are linked through a single West End musical, how chart-fixing actually worked in the 60s, and why Don Arden was known as the 'Al Capone of Pop' (hint: it involves dangling rival executives by their ankles from four floors up). 🚀 Binge more chaotic music chat here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vWvEIcKhJxA&list=PLwnzX0gT6IrcZqrF2Xslb19NiBRgd9rj9 Timestamps / Chapters: 00:00 The Best White Soul Voice in the UK 05:30 Steve Marriott, Phil Collins, and Oliver! 16:40 Davy Jones and The Beatles on Ed Sullivan 24:30 What Exactly is a Mod "Face"? 31:30 Meeting in a Music Bar & Rehearsing with Iron Maiden 44:00 Don Arden: The Al Capone of Pop 53:30 Ripped Off on Carnaby Street 58:30 The Balcony Incident (Ankle Tones) 01:08:00 Ogdens' Nut Gone Flake & The Round Tin Disaster 01:19:30 Enter Rod Stewart & The Faces 01:29:00 The Grim End of Steve Marriott 01:36:00 Gimby's Pop Quiz Amazing additional voice clips provided by Voiceover Artist Martin Whiskin - https://www.martinwhiskin.co.uk/ #smallfaces #stevemarriott #60smusic #modculture #rockhistory Citations Fact 1: Steve Marriott and Phil Collins both played the Artful Dodger in the West End production of Oliver! https://fishtailparkas.com/steve-marriott-the-immortal-artful-dodger/ https://www.discogs.com/release/5650375-Steve-Marriott-Ian-Carmichael-Joyce-Blair-David-Hovell-Mike-Sammes-Oliver-The-Original-1960-New-Thea https://hipquotient.com/from-artful-dodgers-to-artful-rockers/ https://www.jackwild.info/theatre-work/ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Artful_Dodger https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phil_Collins https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0550203/ Fact 2: Davy Jones played the Artful Dodger in the West End and transferred to Broadway, appearing on The Ed Sullivan Show the same night as the Beatles https://www.ibdb.com/broadway-cast-staff/davy-jones-491918 https://broadway.fandom.com/wiki/Oliver! https://ovrtur.com/production/2883682/trivia https://www.masterworksbroadway.com/blog/oliver-is-golden/ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Consider_Yourself Fact 3: Seeing the Beatles on the Ed Sullivan Show inspired Davy Jones to pursue pop stardom https://theweek.com/articles/477499/davy-jones-19452012 https://www.wbur.org/hereandnow/2012/03/01/davy-jones-broadway http://www.meetthebeatlesforreal.com/2014/02/the-other-performers.html https://www.edsullivan.com/davy-jones-on-the-ed-sullivan-show/ https://www.billboard.com/articles/news/502986/monkees-singer-davy-jones-dead-at-66 Fact 4: Davy Jones received a Tony nomination (not a win) for Best Featured Actor for his Broadway debut in Oliver! (1963) https://www.broadway.com/buzz/160327/davy-jones-tony-nominee-and-member-of-the-monkees-dies-at-age-66/ https://www.biography.com/musicians/davy-jones https://www.britannica.com/biography/Davy-Jones-British-singer-and-actor https://playbill.com/article/davy-jones-member-of-the-monkees-and-a-tony-nominee-for-oliver-dead-at-66-com-187950 https://www.ibdb.com/broadway-cast-staff/davy-jones-491918 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Davy_Jones_(musician) Fact 5: Small Faces formation -- Marriott and Lane met at J60 Music Bar in 1965; the band name combined their physical stature with mod slang for a style leader https://rock.fandom.com/wiki/Small_Faces https://memories.fandom.com/wiki/Small_Faces https://www.goldminemag.com/articles/the-small-faces-story-was-just-one-chapter-for-the-band/ https://www.thesmallfaces.com/biography/ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Small_Faces https://www.psaudio.com/blogs/copper/about-faces-and-the-small-faces/ Fact 6: Steve Marriott's voice was a cited influence on Robert Plant, Paul Stanley, Ozzy Osbourne and others https://iconoclassicrecords.com/artist/steve-marriott/ https://www.alternativenation.net/paul-stanley-shocked-by-sxuality-of-robert-plant/ https://faroutmagazine.co.uk/the-rock-singer-robert-plant-said-that-was-too-good/ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steve_Marriott_discography Fact 7: Don Arden, the Decca deal, and the exploitation of the Small Faces (including the Carnaby Street clothing accounts charged back against earnings) https://grokipedia.com/page/Don_Arden https://faroutmagazine.co.uk/don-arden-notorious-gangster-black-sabbath/ https://www.indiewire.com/news/general/r-i-p-don-arden-221732/ https://theelonetwork.weebly.com/the-don-arden-story.html https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Don_Arden https://www.imdb.com/name/nm1563185/trivia/ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Small_Faces_(1967_album) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Patterns_(Small_Faces_song) https://bestclassicbands.com/small-faces-lineup-8-6-16/ https://rockandrollogist.wordpress.com/2020/10/29/don-ardens-offices/ https://www.thelineofbestfit.com/features/interviews/small-faces-interview-85478 https://www.artgalleryclothing.co.uk/the-small-face/ https://drownedinsound.com/in_depth/4144640-the-best-dressed-band-in-england-dis-meets-kenney-jones-of-the-small-faces-amp-the-who Fact 8: Sharon Osbourne is Don Arden's daughter; Peter Grant learned the business under Arden before managing Led Zeppelin https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sharon_Osbourne https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Don_Arden https://www.loudersound.com/features/sharon-osbourne-i-got-f-cking-loud-because-i-needed-to-be-heard https://inthepitmanagement.wixsite.com/mysite/post/notable-artist-manager-relationships-led-zeppelin-peter-grant https://www.billboard.com/music/music-news/warren-grant-interview-son-led-zeppelin-manager-peter-grant-documentary-7424097/ https://bravewords.com/news/legendary-led-zeppelin-manager-to-be-subject-of-new-documentary Fact 9: Robert Stigwood -- who he was and why the Arden incident matters https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Stigwood https://www.televisionacademy.com/bios/robert-stigwood https://grokipedia.com/page/Robert_Stigwood https://www.hypebot.com/legendary-manager-producer-robert-stigwood-passes/ https://alchetron.com/Robert-Stigwood Fact 10: Ogdens' Nut Gone Flake -- Stanley Unwin narration, the Spike Milligan near-miss, Unwinese origins, and the tobacco tin packaging https://ultimateclassicrock.com/small-faces-ogdens-nut-gone-flake/ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ogdens'_Nut_Gone_Flake https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Music/OgdensNutGoneFlake https://www.loudersound.com/features/totally-gone-the-story-of-the-small-faces-psychedelic-masterpiece-ogdens-nut-gone-flake https://www.psychedelicbabymag.com/2014/02/small-faces-ogdens-nut-gone-flake-1968.html https://anorakthing.blogspot.com/2014/09/professor-stanley-unwins-uk-45.html https://www.loudersound.com/features/small-faces-ogdens-nut-gone-flake-cover https://www.thisdayinmusic.com/classic-albums/the-small-faces-ogdens-nut-gone-flake/ Fact 11: Why Marriott left the Small Faces -- the Frampton tension, songwriting resentment, the unplayable album, the chart flop, and the financial mess https://www.mojo4music.com/articles/stories/why-the-small-faces-split-up/ https://www.thisdayinmusic.com/stairway-to-heaven/steve-marriott/ https://ultimateclassicrock.com/steve-marriott-leaves-small-faces/ https://whynow.co.uk/read/steve-marriott-small-faces-to-humble-pie https://faroutmagazine.co.uk/tragic-death-small-faces-steve-marriott/ Fact 12: The Faces rebrand -- dropping the "Small", the "Quite Melon" near-name, and the US "Small Faces" album mistake https://kenneyjones.com/music/the-faces/ https://www.theofficialfaces.com/biography/ https://americansongwriter.com/ronnie-wood-shares-the-story-of-how-he-and-rod-stewart-helped-form-the-faces-after-steve-marriott-quit-the-small-faces/ http://www.rocknrollspotlight.com/?p=529 https://www.bandsintown.com/a/15833-faces Fact 13: The death of Steve Marriott -- 20 April 1991, Arkesden, Essex; the timeline, the wrong-turn detail, and the broke-and-distrustful context https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steve_Marriott https://faroutmagazine.co.uk/tragic-death-small-faces-steve-marriott/ https://onlyrocknrollsite.wordpress.com/2016/04/21/the-tragic-death-of-steve-marriott/ https://www.upi.com/Archives/1991/04/20/Fire-kills-60s-pop-music-star-Steve-Marriott/3707672120000/ https://variety.com/1991/scene/people-news/steve-marriott-99126370/ https://www.deseret.com/1991/4/21/18916534/60s-pop-star-perishes-in-london-area-cottage-fire/ Fact 14: The Small Faces' influence on later British bands -- Weller/The Jam, Blur, Oasis, Ocean Colour Scene and the wider mod/Britpop lineage https://likefm.org/podcast/64794/paul-weller (Weller naming "Tin Soldier" on Desert Island Discs) https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/1418226.Here_Come_The_Nice (Weller's Small Faces songbook) https://music.apple.com/us/playlist/the-jam-influences/pl.8a3af71fe28946eba47d1194e339d6f2 https://en.wikipedia.org/w
Did the ancient Egyptians have B major, or were they just really into papyrus condoms? This week, Andrew and his resident logic-botherer Sam attempt to dissect the musical history of ancient Egypt, mostly concluding that three thousand years of history can't quite be summed up by Bruce Dickinson or an overly loud 90s metal kick drum. Expect a completely uncalled-for bass-tuning intermission, a deep dive into why the 'Woke Police' banned The Bangles after 9/11, and the shocking revelation that ancient Greek war music sounds a bit too much like an Offspring track. We also listen to some genuine electronic pioneer madness involving barking dogs and celestial shapes, plus a bit of Coptic embalming music that sounds exactly like a knife going into some pharaoh's guts. It's educational, it's chaotic, and Andrew actually learns what a pentatonic scale is (sort of).
In a desperate bid to look like we know what we are talking about, we have overhauled the format. This week, Andrew drags a bewildered Dr. Sam through 1980s Liverpool to discuss why a three time Oscar winner spent his youth hiding in a camouflage suit. We are diving deep into: The Scouse Trinity: Exploring the "Crucial Three". Julian Cope's Fear of the Floor: Why he performed on step ladders because he felt the floor was too dangerous. The Mysterious Drum Machine: The story behind the machine they called "Echo". The Big Lie: How they admitted the drum machine story was just a way to mess with journalists. "Caramelised Hair": The era of sugar-styling that attracted swarms of flies and smelled like a burnt bakery. The Cosmic Gateway: The time Bill Drummond decided a manhole cover in Matthew Street was a cosmic gateway to Iceland. It is peak 80s chaos, involving more sugar and camouflage netting than a primary school bake sale in a war zone. Suggested Listening "The Killing Moon": The one Ian McCulloch insists was written by God, though it is actually the intro to Space Oddity played backwards. "The Cutter": The band at the absolute peak of their 80s powers. "People Are Strange": The Joel Schumacher and Lost Boys payday produced by Ray Manzarek of The Doors. "Over the Wall": A masterpiece from their very dark, silhouette-heavy period. "Brussels is Haunted": The sound of the band in 2026, because they are still at it.
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