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Beautifully Complex

Author: Penny Williams

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Join parenting coach and mom-in-the-trenches, Penny Williams, as she helps parents, caregivers, and educators harness the realization that we are all beautifully complex and marvelously imperfect. Each week she delivers insights and actionable strategies on parenting and educating neurodivergent kids — those with ADHD, autism, anxiety, learning disabilities... Her approach to decoding behavior while honoring neurodiversity, and parenting the individual child you have will provide you with the tools to help you understand and transform behavior, reduce your own stress, increase parenting confidence, and create the joyful family life you crave. Penny has helped thousands of families worldwide to help their kids feel good so they can do good.

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/beautifully-complex--6137613/support.
337 Episodes
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What if the most powerful shift isn’t a new strategy, but a new story about you and your child? In this heart-forward episode, I offer five truths every parent of a neurodivergent child needs to hear — reminders that land like a soft place to rest: you’re not failing; your child isn’t broken; you don’t have to do this alone; you matter too; and healing takes time. These truths aren’t platitudes. They’re anchors for those messy, brave moments when the plan falls apart, the behavior feels bigger than your tools, and the timeline stretches longer than you hoped.I’m gently reframing behavior as a signal, not a character flaw. I name the weight of comparison and judgment — and then lift it off your shoulders with language that centers nervous system safety, connection, and tiny steps forward. You’ll hear practical reassurance about regulation (yours and your child’s), why your presence matters more than perfection, and how community changes everything. If you’ve been clenching your jaw or holding your breath, this is your permission to exhale.Come for the validation; leave with a steadier nervous system and a quieter inner critic. You’ll walk away believing that one small compassionate choice today truly counts, and that both you and your child are worthy, exactly as you are. Press play and feel seen. Then share this with another parent who needs a hand to hold. Listen now.You can find additional resources at parentingadhdandautism.com and Regulated Kids.com — because it’s not just about the struggles, it’s about progress, one step at a time.Show notes and more resources at parentingadhdandautism.com/331Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/beautifully-complex--6137613/support.
What if instead of asking, “Why is my child being so difficult?” you asked yourself, “What is my child’s nervous system trying to tell me?” That small shift changes everything.As parents of neurodivergent kids, we’ve all had those moments when our child’s behavior pushes every button we have. The yelling, the defiance, the meltdowns! It’s easy to feel disrespected, rejected, or even attacked. And when that storm hits, our own nervous system often gets swept up, too.In this episode, I share a different path forward. You’ll learn how to pause and anchor yourself in the heat of the moment, how to reframe behavior as a signal instead of a problem, and why repair matters more than perfection. These simple but powerful shifts bring steadiness for you and safety for your child.This isn’t about controlling your child. It’s about grounding yourself so you can show up with the calm presence your child needs. Because when you feel steady, your child feels safer, and that’s where connection, growth, and resilience take root.👉 Tune in now to discover how to handle those button-pushing moments with more calm, compassion, and clarity.You can find additional resources at parentingadhdandautism.com and Regulated Kids.com — because it’s not just about the struggles, it’s about progress, one step at a time.Show notes and more resources at parentingadhdandautism.com/330Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/beautifully-complex--6137613/support.
What if the “problem behavior” isn’t the problem at all, but a signal? This week, we flip the script on rewards and punishments and lean into tools that actually help neurodivergent kids (and their parents) feel safer, calmer, and more connected. When a child’s nervous system is in fight/flight/freeze, the “thinking brain” goes dim. That’s why lectures, sticker charts, and lost-screen-time threats fall flat. They assume choice and control that a dysregulated brain just doesn’t have.In this episode, I unpack three simple, connection-first strategies you can try today: co-regulation before correction, offering bounded choices to restore a sense of control, and smoothing transitions so the brain has time to shift gears. You’ll hear quick snapshots: homework battles that soften with scaffolding, morning routines that move with choice, and playground goodbyes eased by gentle time warnings. These aren’t magic fixes; they’re nervous-system aware supports that lower threat, build trust, and grow real-life skills like flexibility and problem-solving.We also talk about why this approach is teaching responsibility, without fear. Consistency, safety, and autonomy wire the brain for emotional intelligence, which is what carries our kids into teens and adulthood with the capacity to regulate, adapt, and take ownership. Start tiny, celebrate small wins, and watch the ripple.Ready to feel less like a referee and more like an anchor? Listen now and try one small shift this week. Then tell me how it went. I’m cheering you on.You can find additional resources at parentingadhdandautism.com and Regulated Kids.com — because it’s not just about the struggles, it’s about progress, one step at a time.Show notes and more resources at parentingadhdandautism.com/329Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/beautifully-complex--6137613/support.
Behavior isn’t random. It’s not about disrespect, laziness, or a “bad attitude.” Every outburst, shutdown, or refusal is your child’s nervous system sending a signal.In this episode of Beautifully Complex, I’m unpacking what those signals really mean and why the labels we often put on behavior — defiance, aggression, avoidance — miss the mark. You’ll learn how to look past the surface to see the need underneath, and how shifting from control to curiosity changes everything.When you learn to decode behavior as a signal, you stop fighting the symptom and start supporting your child where they actually are. That’s the foundation of raising regulated, resilient kids who feel seen and understood.Press play and discover how to start listening to the signals beneath your child’s behavior.You can find additional resources at parentingadhdandautism.com and Regulated Kids.com — because it’s not just about the struggles, it’s about progress, one step at a time.Show notes and more resources at parentingadhdandautism.com/328Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/beautifully-complex--6137613/support.
What if your child’s meltdowns weren’t about defiance, disrespect, or “bad behavior” at all—but simply their nervous system doing what it was designed to do? In this episode, I unpack how animal instincts like Lumi the Owl, Prickles the Porcupine, Bolt the Cheetah, and Tuck the Possum signal what’s happening beneath the surface. When you learn to spot the state and meet the need, you stop wrestling with behavior and start tending the roots.We’ll talk about how to recognize each instinct, what your child actually needs in those moments, and how to support without shame, blame, or power struggles. These aren’t loopholes; they’re nervous-system-savvy ways to bring safety and connection back online.Take a deep breath with me. Let’s step into a gentler, more effective way to parent your beautifully complex child.👉 Tune in now to learn how animal instincts can transform the way you respond to your child’s behavior.You can find additional resources at parentingadhdandautism.com and Regulated Kids.com — because it’s not just about the struggles, it’s about progress, one step at a time.Show notes and more resources at parentingadhdandautism.com/327Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/beautifully-complex--6137613/support.
Your child’s biggest struggles might be the very things no one else sees.In this powerful conversation with pediatric nurse practitioner and mental health specialist Monica Garty Juice, we explore how subtle signs of neurodivergence often get dismissed, misdiagnosed, or go completely unnoticed — and what that means for our kids. Monica shares why so many complex kids are “hidden in plain sight,” how masking shows up in daily life, and what it looks like to finally be seen.We also talk about how parents often become the “quarterback” of their child’s care team — even when they’re exhausted and overwhelmed — and why slowing down and tuning into the full picture is one of the most powerful things we can do.If your child looks like they’re holding it together, but then melting down at home… this episode will feel like a deep exhale.Listen now and let this be your reminder: You’re not imagining it. You’re not alone. And you can trust your gut.You can find additional resources at parentingadhdandautism.com and Regulated Kids.com — because it’s not just about the struggles, it’s about progress, one step at a time.Show notes and more resources at parentingadhdandautism.com/326Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/beautifully-complex--6137613/support.
Ever walk into a school meeting and feel like you're already behind before you even sit down?In this episode, I’m talking with special education consultant Michelle Pianim about how we shift from feeling powerless in IEP meetings to taking proactive, confident steps for our neurodivergent kids. We unpack the culture of inclusion (or the lack thereof), how to become the expert in the room about your child, and what to do when you feel like you've hit a wall with your school team.Michelle brings decades of experience — and serious wisdom — to this conversation, including practical strategies to ask for what your child needs, gather the right data, and advocate with clarity instead of conflict.This episode is for every parent who’s ever walked out of a school meeting thinking, “What just happened?”🎧 Listen now and open the door to better outcomes, stronger advocacy, and a team that works with you — not around you.You can find additional resources at parentingadhdandautism.com and Regulated Kids.com — because it’s not just about the struggles, it’s about progress, one step at a time.Show notes and more resources at parentingadhdandautism.com/325Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/beautifully-complex--6137613/support.
What if the way you help your child is actually holding them back?In this powerful conversation with Kristin Lombardi and Christine Drew, co-authors of Spectrum of Independence, we unpack the hard-to-navigate space between support and overdoing. If you’ve ever found yourself wondering, “Am I empowering or enabling?” — this episode is a must-listen.We explore how to slowly and compassionately fade our support, why independence isn’t about going it alone, and how morning and bedtime routines can become moments of growth instead of daily battles. With real talk, gentle truth-telling, and deeply empathetic strategies, we help you make space for your child’s autonomy without sacrificing connection.Listen now to start shifting from doing it for them to teaching them how.You can find additional resources at parentingadhdandautism.com and Regulated Kids.com — because it’s not just about the struggles, it’s about progress, one step at a time.Show notes and more resources at parentingadhdandautism.com/324Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/beautifully-complex--6137613/support.
What if the most powerful regulation tool for your child has been sitting right under their nose all along?In this episode of Beautifully Complex, I’m joined by breathwork facilitator and trainer Kurtis Lee Thomas to talk about the overlooked power of the breath — not just for calming down in the moment, but for deep emotional healing and nervous system regulation. Kurtis breaks down how breathwork helps both parents and kids release stuck emotions, build emotional intelligence, and move from chaos to calm.We also explore:Why breathwork works fastHow to simplify it so even your reluctant teen or sensory-sensitive kid can engageEasy rituals to incorporate it into your family’s daily lifeWhy your child’s self-awareness starts with your breathPlus, you’ll walk away with three simple breath practices you can use anytime, anywhere.This episode is full of practical wisdom, deep insight, and a fresh take on what emotional regulation really looks like. Take a deep breath, literally, and come listen in.Tune in now and experience the power of the breath.You can find additional resources at parentingadhdandautism.com and Regulated Kids.com — because it’s not just about the struggles, it’s about progress, one step at a time.Show notes and more resources at parentingadhdandautism.com/323Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/beautifully-complex--6137613/support.
In this powerful episode, I sit down with parenting coach and boys' emotional ally, Tosha Schore, to unpack something most of us were never taught: our emotions — especially the messy, loud, uncomfortable ones — hold the key to healing.We talk about what it really looks like to bear witness to our child’s (and our own) pain, why your “just calm down” instincts might be backfiring, and how to show up for your neurodivergent child in a way that builds emotional intelligence, resilience, and lasting connection.And parents, we go there: the shame, the silence, the struggle to “fix” things that feel out of control. You’ll walk away with simple, profound shifts that don’t require perfection — just presence.✨ If you’ve ever wondered, How do I help my kid without losing myself? this episode is for you.Listen now and discover the healing power that’s already within reach.You can find additional resources at parentingadhdandautism.com and Regulated Kids.com — because it’s not just about the struggles, it’s about progress, one step at a time.Show notes and more resources at parentingadhdandautism.com/322Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/beautifully-complex--6137613/support.
Your child’s behavior isn’t the problem — it’s the clue.So often we’re handed behavior plans, sticker charts, and systems that totally ignore what our neurodivergent kids are trying to tell us. In this powerful conversation with RDI Consultant Nancy Gilette, we dig into what really shapes your child’s quality of life — and spoiler alert: it starts with you.We talk about shifting from task-based parenting to experience-based connection, what “feeling good” actually looks like for neurodivergent brains, and how slowing down can speed up growth in the long run. You’ll hear practical ways to create co-regulation, why safety (not compliance) is the key to learning, and how to build a home that feels good for everyone.This one is equal parts validation, insight, and heck yes, I can do this.🎧 Don’t miss it — press play and let’s rethink how we support our kids, from the inside out.You can find additional resources at parentingadhdandautism.com and Regulated Kids.com — because it’s not just about the struggles, it’s about progress, one step at a time.Show notes and more resources at parentingadhdandautism.com/321Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/beautifully-complex--6137613/support.
Is your back-to-school plan just a fresh stack of notebooks and high hopes? Let’s talk about what really makes or breaks a smooth transition for your neurodivergent child. In this episode, I’m sharing the top three things I wish I had known when my son was in school — the things that could’ve saved us from years of chaos, meltdowns, and overwhelm.We’re ditching the myth that buying the right planner will fix everything. Instead, I’ll walk you through how to prep your systems (not just your supplies), how to create emotional safety in the daily routine, and how to build a true partnership with your child’s teacher — before the chaos starts.This isn’t just back-to-school advice. It’s a whole new way of showing up for your complex kid with calm, clarity, and confidence.Listen in to start creating less stress and more success — starting now. ou can find additional resources at parentingadhdandautism.com and Regulated Kids.com — because it’s not just about the struggles, it’s about progress, one step at a time. Show notes and more resources at parentingadhdandautism.com/320Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/beautifully-complex--6137613/support.
What if the secret to helping your child regulate their emotions… is already playing on your speakers?In this episode, I’m joined by board-certified music therapist and fellow neurodivergent mom, Samantha Foote, to explore how music can be a powerful (and joyful!) regulation tool for kids with ADHD, autism, and other complex needs. We chat about everything from angry drumming sessions between siblings to writing silly blues songs to cueing transitions with the right rhythm.Samantha shares how rhythm is hardwired into our bodies — and how we can use that to our advantage when emotions run high. Whether your kid calms to classical, beatboxes their stress away, or creates heavy metal drum loops on an iPad, this episode is packed with practical ways to make music work for your beautifully complex child.Listen now and discover how one song could be the bridge between chaos and calm.You can find additional resources at parentingadhdandautism.com and Regulated Kids.com — because it’s not just about the struggles, it’s about progress, one step at a time.Show notes and more resources at parentingadhdandautism.com/319Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/beautifully-complex--6137613/support.
What if just five minutes a day could lower your stress, help your child regulate, and even improve sleep? Sounds too good to be true, right? In this episode, I’m joined by Ariel Garten, neuroscientist, psychotherapist, and co-founder of Muse — and trust me, this conversation is both science-packed and deeply personal.We talk about the real brain science behind mindfulness and meditation (spoiler: it’s not about emptying your mind), and how biofeedback technology like Muse can help kids and parents strengthen self-regulation, improve mental health, and actually enjoy meditation. We also dive into how sleep, anxiety, and neurodivergence all intersect — and how just a couple of minutes of practice a day can transform your family’s nervous system and routines.If you’ve ever wondered how to help your neurodivergent child (or yourself!) feel calmer, sleep better, and take control of spiraling thoughts, this episode is your starting point.Listen now and discover how neuroscience-backed tools can make emotional regulation more doable for your beautifully complex family.You can find additional resources at parentingadhdandautism.com and Regulated Kids.com — because it’s not just about the struggles, it’s about progress, one step at a time.Show notes and more resources at parentingadhdandautism.com/318Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/beautifully-complex--6137613/support.
What if schools didn’t just accommodate neurodivergent kids, but celebrated them? In this heartfelt and eye-opening conversation with Amanda Morin and Emily Kircher-Morris, we dig into what it really means to create neurodiversity-affirming schools. From ditching moral judgments on behavior to prioritizing belonging over compliance, this episode is a must-listen for any parent or educator who wants more for our kids than just surviving school.You’ll hear powerful personal stories, practical strategies, and a reminder that our children deserve to be seen, supported, and valued exactly as they are.Tune in and discover how we can help create classrooms that don’t just teach, but transform lives.You can find additional resources at parentingadhdandautism.com and Regulated Kids.com — because it’s not just about the struggles, it’s about progress, one step at a time.Show notes and more resources at parentingadhdandautism.com/317Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/beautifully-complex--6137613/support.
Ever wonder how to push your child just enough without pushing them over the edge?In this episode of Beautifully Complex, I sit down with therapist Chris Taylor, LCSW-C, to unpack what it really means to find your child’s “Just Right Balance.” Unlike the more familiar “just right challenge,” this concept is about balancing emotional safety with growth — how to gently nudge our neurodivergent kids out of their comfort zones without creating shutdown or dysregulation.Chris and I talk about how to know when to step in and when to step back, why validation and predictability are game-changers for emotionally intense kids, and how your own regulation as a parent sets the tone for everything else. Plus, we dig into why fulfillment — not just short-term happiness — should be the goal when helping kids navigate hard things.If you’ve ever felt stuck between protecting your child and encouraging independence, this episode is full of insights (and real talk) to help you find that elusive middle ground.Listen now to learn how to help your child grow in confidence and resilience — without losing trust or connection.You can find additional resources at parentingadhdandautism.com and Regulated Kids.com — because it’s not just about the struggles, it’s about progress, one step at a time.Show notes and more resources at parentingadhdandautism.com/316Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/beautifully-complex--6137613/support.
What if a pom pom, a paper tube, and ten minutes a day could transform your child’s learning?In this joy-filled episode, I sit down with Kelsey Cook, mom of four, former teacher, and founder of Learning with Kelsey, to unpack the science and soul behind play-based learning. Together, we explore how creativity and play aren't just fun — they're vital tools for connection, emotional regulation, and skill development in neurodivergent kids.From sensory-friendly adaptations to parent-child rituals that build predictability, you'll walk away with practical strategies to foster emotional intelligence, meet your child’s sensory needs, and bring more joy to learning (without a single worksheet in sight).If you’ve ever struggled to get your child engaged in learning or wondered how to balance structure with flexibility, this episode will leave you inspired and equipped.🎧 Press play and discover how a little intentional play can lead to big breakthroughs.You can find additional resources at parentingadhdandautism.com and Regulated Kids.com — because it’s not just about the struggles, it’s about progress, one step at a time.Show notes and more resources at parentingadhdandautism.com/315Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/beautifully-complex--6137613/support.
Walking into school meetings can feel like navigating a minefield while carrying the weight of your child’s future.You're not alone — and in this episode, I sit down with education advocate and parent coach Scotti Weintraub to unpack how to have better, calmer, more productive conversations with your child’s teacher, especially when things are hard. We dig into the reality that most teachers aren’t trained in neurodivergence, and how parents can advocate without alienating and burning bridges. From leading with curiosity to asking, “Can I share this with you?,” instead of handing over a stack of articles, this conversation is packed with strategies for fostering mutual respect, trust, and teamwork.If you’ve ever dreaded that parent-teacher conference or IEP meeting, this episode is your roadmap to more effective and empowering communication.Tune in now to learn how to build the kind of teacher partnerships that actually help your neurodivergent child thrive.You can find additional resources at parentingadhdandautism.com and Regulated Kids.com — because it’s not just about the struggles, it’s about progress, one step at a time.Show notes and more resources at parentingadhdandautism.com/314.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/beautifully-complex--6137613/support.
The antidote to stress and disconnection could be awe. In this heartwarming episode, I chat with child development expert Deborah Farmer Kris about the transformative power of awe and wonder for beautifully complex kids. From music and nature to kindness and curiosity, we explore how tapping into these moments can reduce stress, regulate the nervous system, and foster belonging. You’ll hear real stories, science-backed insights, and simple ways to help your child (and yourself) become an awe-seeker in a world that often feels overwhelming.Listen now and discover the small moments that can create big shifts in emotional regulation and joy.You can find additional resources at parentingadhdandautism.com and Regulated Kids.com — because it’s not just about the struggles, it’s about progress, one step at a time.Show notes and more resources at parentingadhdandautism.com/313Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/beautifully-complex--6137613/support.
Is college really the only path to success? Not even close.In this episode, I sit down with Hannah Maruyama, co-founder of Degree Free, to challenge the outdated idea that college is the ultimate goal for every kid — especially for neurodivergent kids who may thrive outside traditional systems. We get deep into how redefining success, focusing on real-world needs, and shifting the career conversation can change everything. Learn why starting with your child's unique lifestyle goals leads to a far more satisfying and successful future, and why the old "college = success" formula just doesn't add up anymore.Ready to rethink what your child’s future can look like? Listen now and empower your family to build a life by design, not by default.You can find additional resources at parentingadhdandautism.com and Regulated Kids.com — because it’s not just about the struggles, it’s about progress, one step at a time.Show notes and more resources at parentingadhdandautism.com/312Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/beautifully-complex--6137613/support.
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Comments (19)

Timothy Drummond

intro and outro got switched lol whoops. threw me for a second

Dec 4th
Reply

Zeebs Zen

I love your podcast but this by far has hit closest to home. So empowering to know there are others with the same struggles and there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Jan 4th
Reply

Leslie bailiff

Thank you ladies! I always learn so much about parenting our child with ADHD. waxh time I listen more makes sense.

May 27th
Reply

Leslie bailiff

Penny... you have changed my world and how I go forward to parent our child. Thank-you!

Feb 16th
Reply

Laura Loera

this episode says 76 but its 75.

Dec 19th
Reply (1)

Frances B. Murillo

Hello Penny how do I get my two sons to stop fighting

Oct 26th
Reply

Tuan Thai

Great episode. I appreciate the strategies discussed as they are extremely relatable to our situation.

Oct 22nd
Reply (1)

Frances B. Murillo

So I'm a Mom of a ADHD boy with anger issues and very impulsive and your podcast is so on point. I want to give some of my boys background but not sure if this is the right place, so I'm going read some other comments and I'll get back to you. I just wanted to let you know that I love this podcast.

Oct 14th
Reply

Leslie bailiff

Penny- you are amazing and we hear your love and warmth through the microphone. I have only listened to a few and have learned so much! Thank you

Oct 7th
Reply

Maya Shumowsky

This was so helpful to me, I can relate to every single thing you said. Thank you!

Aug 26th
Reply

Heather Estep

Episode 60...man so much information!! I am so glad I stumble on this. My only complaint is the audio plays in one earbud...unless it's a clip. ((yes, I've tried multiple earbuds))

May 30th
Reply

Karen Dawson

thank you this is such amazing advice

May 28th
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Kelly Christian

Thank you! This is exactly what I needed to hear this morning. I will be using all of your tips/info as I move forward with my 11 year old son. We have been struggling and now I feel as if I'm armed with some positive tools to change the direction of our conversations and hopefully improve our relationship and future outcomes moving forward.

May 1st
Reply

Melanie Foote

love it..so helpful.

Mar 29th
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Melanie Foote

this is awesome. two ADHD boys .great pic cast

Mar 19th
Reply

Jennifer Potempa

These podcasts are lifesaver.

Oct 19th
Reply

Heidi Lappe

Thank you for your help. I needed this today.

Jun 13th
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