Begin Again.

The beginning of becoming great starts with… How else will I know unless I find out? Faith is one of those things where many people could say they have, but when it comes to putting the things that really matter to us on the line that is where our Faith gets put to the test. Sink or swim right? This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2022/01/15/coquette-12/ --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/elizabeth384/support

There were two paths. It was never easy to be chosen. Having to choose between easy and stagnant or hard and impossible… she chose. The writing was on the wall. But not in your strength but by my favor on you. The price was sacrifice. Grain of sand That’s what you have. But give me your sacrifice and what you choose to subtract, I won’t just add… I will multiply. I am a God of multiplication. You will have a beach full of sand and that is a promise. That is what you have to look forward to. So don’t take your focus off. And it’s just the beginning This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2022/01/07/suiting-up/ --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/elizabeth384/support

Letters to God If you can remember where you laid it down I’ll show you how to take it up again. I’ll give you the power to take it up again when you it lay down! There is a version of you that I want to prove to you exists but you can’t see it unless you sacrifice. Sacrifice changes things. Shifts things. This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2021/12/28/give-it-up/ --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/elizabeth384/support

🎵 Tell your heart to beat again She realized what makes people sick is it starts from the heart. If your heart is sick the rest will be sick. She had asked God to take her heart but she never asked him to heal her heart. What she thought were trust issues was really a heart issue. So she gave it up. It was beautiful to find out that God only wanted her heart all along. ‘That’s the sacrifice, I want’ Delight in me and I will give you the desires of your heart - Psalm 37:4 This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2021/12/23/coquette-11/ --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/elizabeth384/support

Beauty in the Struggle Not wanting to ask for help. Not wanting to be vulnerable. This weight that she had been caring, she just couldn’t carry it anymore. So she gave it to God and he took it. He knew what she needed and he was there so she wasn’t in this alone. She wasn’t by herself. She had only felt she was. If only she could remember that in her weakest moments then they wouldn’t make her feel like she was drowning. She was starting to see that she still wasn’t ready and maybe she wouldn’t be for a while. Or did this mean that she was actually getting closer? This was actually the first time that she was even brave enough to even consider trying again. This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2021/12/23/coquette-10/ --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/elizabeth384/support

It’s funny how in the end you begin to think about the beginning. She began to remember the exact moment she knew she was going to allow that walking red flag turn into a walking regret. What are you doing? Making decisions Siren. I’m deciding on you. There were layers to a statement like that. Back then… she knew what she was thinking and her mind told her exactly why settling had been better for her all those years. The highest of the highs only brought the lowest of the lows. Jumping from high to high only worked for so long. Eventually that approach took a turn and everything she ever tried to bury re-surfaced with Siren and now her emotions felt like they were beginning to seep out of her skin. This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2021/12/23/coquette-9/ --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/elizabeth384/support

After years of shunning love she had given it another try. She wasn’t counting on old pain coming back and she definitely wasn’t counting on it coming back this strong. If only she could get out of her head long enough to be still. Still enough to feel her heart again. Hurt. She was feeling hurt. She paused. She remembered that in quietness and trust was her strength. Why can’t I let this go? The enemy never moves in a moment of strength, he moves in a moment of weakness. When you’re at your weakest. 10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full - John 10:10 You keep wearing anger to cover up your sadness. I’m waiting on you to ask me to give you your heart back. I can heal the hurt. I can give you you back. I can show you how to forgive. I can show you how to let go of that bitterness weighing you down. I can show you how to stop blaming people in offense. I want to teach you how to speak in truth and grace. This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2021/11/30/the-lesson-3/ --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/elizabeth384/support

She caught wind. She exhaled everything negative and could feel all the bad blowing away. She inhaled Gods breathe. He must increase, but I must decrease - John 3:30 If you’re going to give back something. Give back love. Less of her meant, meant more of him. When she let out her breathe, she took in his. I am not going to keep living this way. I am not going to keep questioning my worth. I am not going to keep putting myself on clearance. God is calling me out of this cycle. Out of this depression. Out of this brokenness. This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2021/11/30/the-lesson-2/ --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/elizabeth384/support

Siren, I don’t think you know who you really are. It’s who you think you are that makes you do things you later regret. You give sweet nothings because deep down you feel you can’t keep up. You’re not yet a man, you’re a scared little boy in a grown man’s uniform. Coquette, I don’t think you realize how powerful your words are. I do realize. You say it all but give nothing at all. Like clouds and wind without rain is a man who boasts of a gift he does not give - Proverbs 25.14 You’re acting crazy again I might be a lot of things but a babysitter for a grown man is not one of them. So go disappoint the next girl, or the next few. This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2021/11/30/the-lesson/ --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/elizabeth384/support

Chaos caused by a mental disorder. Symptoms: Inattentiveness, impulsivity, hyperactivity. Medical Claims: No cure. Serp? → the Culprit.  A little back story here SERP is the cousin of AD (someone you will meet later). SERP isn’t someone you can see. Some will tell you that it is all in your head. Others will tell you he’s an excuse because you need something to blame things on. But what is about the things that you feel that you can’t see that feel the most real? This episode is also available as a blog post: http://letitbeginagain.com/2022/08/11/serp-%f0%9f%90%8d/ --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/elizabeth384/support

She preferred tequila, clear tequila. It was better for. It went down a lot smoother. Sure it made her a little crazy but she knew what she was going to get and she knew how to handle her shots. Lucky for her, he was tequila and she didn’t need salt and a lime to take him. But chances were that the faster she drank it, the sooner she would run out. The crazy that tequila brought on was always a good time and a good story. She knew she liked it better and preferred it so why would she ever go for whiskey? Oh yeah she remembered. Tequila had a way of coming on strong and although she loved it when it was gone it left a nasty hangover. Coquette how about leaving whiskey and tequila behind? She had been wondering where he had been. The days had turned into weeks and this whole time she had been drowning. Wine. I want to turn you into wine. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland – Isaiah 43:19 Liquor was the only thing that she had ever known. She had a choice to make. She could keep trying to find her answers at the bottom of every bottle she chose to have or she could choose to drink from a fresh well- a well that never ran out of water. A well that would forever quench her thirst. If you give it up I will give you better than you can even ask for. Give me what you have in your hand and I will release what is in mine. Divine exchange. Coquette was about to find out that God was taking her in as a seed form. And if you let patience perfect the work in you, you will become wine. 4 But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing - James 1:4 You’re strongest when you are wine. You’ll be most effective. Instead of you being consumed you’ll be doing the consuming. Wine changes the spirits of those who drink it. But first you will be under foot. But when your time comes to come out from under foot, you’ll be what God had in mind. God hadn’t left. She just couldn’t see him. This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2021/11/28/tequilawine/ --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/elizabeth384/support

They were all hers now. These whiskey stones were going to turn into her stepping stones The problem was that she never did like the taste of whiskey or hard things. Whiskey burned and stones hurt. Whiskey had a way of being so inconsistent. She never knew if she was going to get sick or have a great time with it. She could never really tell what feeling it was going bring. How about another round? No. I think my last dance with the devil was the last one. She knew that the fake sugar in whiskey had a way of making her crash. She knew that kind of sugar would deplete her later and for the first time… it wasn’t worth having. Whiskey would never give her a headache again. She had had enough whiskey stones. She didn’t need anymore. She decided she was going to put her history in writing and even better on stone tablets. Written in stone and built from the hard stuff. Chisel out two stone tablets like the first ones, and I will write on them the words that were on the first tablets, which you broke. Be ready in the morning, and then come up on Mount Sinai. Present yourself to me there on top of the mountain. - Exodus 34:1 This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2021/11/28/whiskey-stones-%f0%9f%a5%83/ --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/elizabeth384/support

But she had to go back first. Think back to the moment where you almost allowed your light to give out. Flickering Light She didn’t want to think about that. It was too dark. Dark to experience and it was too dark to think about. That moment had come close to taking her out for good. But it didn’t. You had light. Remember the lesson, not the moment. What are you going to do with it? Even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you - Psalm 139:12 Reluctantly Coquette went back to that day. The day she was hearing voices. Those voices.Voices that wouldn’t ever leave her alone. But on that particular day they were a little louder… loud enough that they started to make sense and they started to sound right. It was too hard, it was too much and she could fix it if she just ended it. It almost worked. She got up and said to herself… world have your things I’d rather be with God. But God had other plans. You may not be with me but I am with you. Always. “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you or forsake you” -Deuteronomy 31.6 Her light had started flickering that day – it almost gave out but it didn’t and it wasn’t going to now. Quite the opposite, it was getting brighter and brighter. This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2021/11/28/coquette-6/ --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/elizabeth384/support

As it turns out someone who loved her more than she could ever imagine already had paid a price...a very high price, the ultimate price – he paid it for her. 18 And I pray that you and all God’s holy people will have the power to understand the greatness of Christ’s love—how wide, how long, how high, and how deep that love is. 19 Christ’s love is greater than anyone can ever know, but I pray that you will be able to know that love. Then you can be filled with everything God has for you -Ephesians 3:18-21 Coquette loved red roses but there was some thing about white roses that really got to her. Red reminded her of passion but white reminded her of purity. A song started playing in her head. She started to change her mind on what she thought red roses meant. 🎶 Your blood flowed red and made me white 🎶 It was Natalie Grant. 🎶 Washed in the blood of your Sacrifice 🎶 Not only had he cleaned up the mess that she had made of her life but who could love you better than someone who sacrifices for you? She was beginning to change her mind on who she thought she was. God was creating in her a pure heart. He was making her new. He was making all things new again. 10 Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me – Psalm 51:10 This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2021/11/28/coquette-5/ --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/elizabeth384/support

She was always reminded of that one promise. That one promise that got brought back to her mind when things started polluting her brain. When things started to get fuzzy. Whenever she wasn’t sure of she was doing anymore. She knew where she had been but she didn’t know where she was going. On this day in particular she was going around in circles. Literally! – She was driving around and trying to figure out what she wanted to eat. Before getting food she had to make a stop at the grocery store to buy alcohol for the concert she was going to be going to later on. She always felt a little extra loved by God whenever she got the first parking lot. He knew how giddy it made her and he always seemed to get a kick out of it too. That’s the thing about living life with God. You begin to see and hear him in even the smallest of things – only the little things were always the big things for her. Before walking in the store she heard music playing and saw a man playing music on a melodica. It was a beautiful song he was playing and she felt God tuck at her heart to give him some cash. She was working on listening more to that quiet still voice that she only heard when she was still enough to hear it. She heard what she thought was five and as soon as she walked in, there was a big red sign with the number 5 on it. She picked up her 6-pk of white-claws – typical for the girl who grew up in Orange County. It was the thing to drink and it helped they were low cal.c This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2021/12/23/coquette-8/ --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/elizabeth384/support

PSL with a side of Lonely It’s Friday morning 7:30 am. Fall was just starting and Coquette had been waiting for this day… Starbucks ⭐️ had officially released their seasonal Pumpkin Spice Lattes ☕️. She grabbed what she had been waiting for all year long and headed back home. Her excitement wore off as she got back home. She had come back to an empty apartment. What use to feel like bliss was putting her in a mood lately and not one she liked. Standing in her kitchen all she could manage to do was get lost in her thoughts. She was wondering how the life she use to dream of had found a way to be better in her imagination than in her reality. Ever since her and Siren broken up she had learned to re-direct all of her energy back on herself. But she was beginning to recognize that trying to get to this place where she didn’t need anyone only left her shutting herself off and she had now become an island. I am not meant to live out this life all by myself. This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2021/12/23/coquette-7/ --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/elizabeth384/support

There it was again – a moment of revelation. She had spent enough time with God to learn his voice so she was able to lean into what he was whispering into her heart. My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me - John 10:27 Sometimes it’s not the person you’re dealing with, it’s the spirit behind the person. Are all men really liars? Or is the same demon taunting you over and over because he knows your weakness? If only you would realize your worth. If only you could let me show you how I see you. Your worth is not up for debate. Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies - Proverbs 31:10 God telling her how valuable she was made her question herself.  Why had she put herself on clearance? She acted as if going on sale would mean that whoever bought her was going to be the one who was going to give her a permanent home. This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2021/11/28/coquette-4/ --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/elizabeth384/support

Letters To God Why does it feel like I’m drowning now? Why now? Why is this all surfacing now? 22“The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy, your whole body will be full of light. 23But if your eyes are unhealthy, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness! - Matthew 6:22-23 NIV Coquette had spent 3 years of learning God’s word and she was starting to see that he had been writing in her heart this whole time. He did always promise to never leave her and to always go before her. For a long time she couldn’t grasp that truth because in the back of her mind she was still believing that men always lied. I am not a man that shall lie Here he was showing her that he was not going to change his mind about what he promised her. His word is never changing. He wasn’t man but he had become one to do what she craved for someone to do for her…  to save her. This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2021/11/27/coquette-3/ --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/elizabeth384/support

She was so blinded by her need for love so much that she had failed to see the Devil in the details. It’s crazy how we choose to believe what we want, ignore what we know only to be surprised to get what we should have expected in the first place. It had been a few days of conversation back and forth and now they were getting to the harder conversations. The ones she had spent so much time avoiding because years later…it was still a hard pill to swallow. She learned that if she avoided any and all reminders of what that one year had brought her she could function fine. She could at least pretend she was-  like there wasn’t this deep hole in her heart. She thought that was hard but being vulnerable with Siren was now stirring up something in her insides. I don’t know if I can trust this Siren. I don’t trust men too easily. I’ve been here before and the last time that this happened.. errr … everybody crashes and I know that living in the fast lane only makes the impact that much harder. I barely survived the last crash, I don’t know what would happen or who I would turn into if I crashed again. I’m not 24 anymore. What does that mean? I used to run around and I loved the chase. That’s not the case anymore. This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2021/11/27/coquette-2/ --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/elizabeth384/support

Season: Fall A smell of honeysuckle Dating you was Coquette’s favorite perfume to put on before seeing Siren. Coquette wasn’t your average prostitute. For her it had nothing to do with getting paid financially. Her form of payment was paid by how she felt emotionally. [Prostitute: A person, in particular a woman, who engages in sexual activity for payment.] They were walking by a homeless man and a second later he wrapped his arms around her walking behind her. She dated guys who would pay no mind or attention to whether she felt safe when she was with them and he was making sure that she felt safe. Without knowing that she had always been frightened of strangers only not homeless people. She felt homeless people were the closest to God. Maybe it wasn’t too far off. God did say in scripture that he’s close to the broken-hearted. Maybe there was a lot more to it than people would like to think or maybe they knew but it was easier to ignore. We all have battles… only theirs seem to be on display for the world to see. It seemed to her that hers were too. People knew what kind of girl she was. What people didn’t know was there was much more to her then she would let them see. Still, she couldn’t talk about God. If there was anyone qualified for that job it certainly couldn’t be her. It wasn’t until after her last transaction that she was beginning to understand that although she believed in God – she didn’t know God. A part of her wondered if she still would let herself get walked all over.. if she still could. It was as if she came with a price tag and the only time she would get bought was when she put herself on clearance. It seemed as if it was only those kind of men who could afford her. But how did I get here again? What got to her that night was the thought of him wanting to make her feel safe and comfortable. Her favorite things in life were moments like these. Moments where she felt that someone musthave God’s ear because only God can whisper the exact thing needed at that moment, moving hearts and creating a memory like this is what she believed had to have been sent from God. This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2021/11/27/coquette/ --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/elizabeth384/support