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Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson
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Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson
Author: Rick Hanson, Ph.D., Forrest Hanson
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Forrest Hanson is joined by clinical psychologist Dr. Rick Hanson and a world-class group of experts to explore the practical science of lasting well-being. Conversations focus on the key insights from psychology, science, and contemplative practice that you need to build reliable inner strengths, overcome your challenges, and get the most out of life. New episodes every Monday.
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In this timely episode, Dr. Rick and Forrest tackle the anxiety and uncertainty so many are feeling about the state of today’s world. They discuss why everything feels so overwhelming right now, share practical ways to manage those emotions, and explore how we can stay grounded, take ownership of what we can control, and maintain a sense of connection with others. Topics include managing uncertainty, wise skepticism, developing agency, accepting impermanence, and understanding grief as a deep form of love and connection. Whether you're feeling anxious about global events or just navigating daily life, this episode offers practical advice for building resilience.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:55: Why do things feel so terrifying?
11:45: A typical response to the state of the world
17:40: Recognizing how much uncertainty there is
25:35: Feeling grounded in your personal integrity
32:30: Taking ownership of what you are able to contribute
39:00: Our felt sense of connection with others
44:20: Accepting impermanence
49:00: Grief as a form of love and connection
54:15: Recap
I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.
Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month.
OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Connect with the show:
Subscribe on iTunes
Follow Forrest on YouTube
Follow us on Instagram
Follow Forrest on Instagram
Follow Rick on Facebook
Follow Forrest on Facebook
Visit Forrest's website
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Forrest explores how we can harness perfectionism’s strengths without getting captured by its vulnerabilities with therapist and author Katherine Morgan Schafler. They talk about perfectionism’s bad branding, and how our relationship with perfectionism can lead to it being either a superpower or a stumbling block. They discuss the different types of perfectionists, the limitations of defining perfectionism merely as a defense against criticism, and the importance of shifting our language around self-criticism. You’ll learn about the difference between power and control, why self-compassion beats self-punishment, and how to keep perfectionism in check while still reaching your goals.
About our Guest: Katherine is a psychotherapist, former on-site therapist at Google, and author of the recent book The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control: A Path to Peace and Power.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:35: Defining perfectionism
6:00: Ideals, identity, and asking yourself how and why you’re striving
12:40: The five types of perfectionists
21:55: Why defining perfectionism as a ‘defense against criticism’ falls short
28:20: Changing our vocabulary around self-criticism
34:00: Why self-punishment doesn’t work
38:10: The difference between power and control
44:40: Splitting vs. scaling, and reaching out for connection
49:10: When perfectionistic tendencies invade our relationships
54:10: The intention that drives real goals, and finding your metric for measuring success
1:07:10: Recap
I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.
Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month.
OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Connect with the show:
Subscribe on iTunes
Follow Forrest on YouTube
Follow us on Instagram
Follow Forrest on Instagram
Follow Rick on Facebook
Follow Forrest on Facebook
Visit Forrest's website
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Dr. Rick and Forrest explore one of the most interesting concepts in psychology: Carl Jung’s concept of the shadow. The shadow includes the “the things a person has no wish to be,” the uncomfortable aspects of ourselves that we deny or ignore. Facing those parts can be difficult, but becoming aware of the shadow, accepting it, and integrating it allows us to embrace all of who we are.
They start by explaining what the shadow is, where it comes from, and why it’s valuable. Rick shares some examples of shadow material, what we lose by leaving them behind, and how we can start reintegrating them. Forrest talks about modern approaches to shadow work, and viewing the shadow through a less dualistic lens. They then map out the “typical” path of what is usually a highly individualized process.
Hope you enjoy it!
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:50: Defining the shadow - things we leave out, or don’t care to know
4:30: Individuation
12:05: Some examples of shadow material
18:35: What do we lose by not incorporating the shadow?
23:10: Agency, creativity, authenticity, and unrecognized capabilities
26:50: Patience, knowing your why, inner refuge, and befriending parts
32:00: Acceptance, awareness of projection, and being in dialog with our shadow
38:10: Deliberate practice, stepping into the wild, and showing curiosity
46:25: The golden shadow, and accepting impulses vs. acting on them
55:30: Recap
I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.
Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month.
OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Connect with the show:
Subscribe on iTunes
Follow Forrest on YouTube
Follow us on Instagram
Follow Forrest on Instagram
Follow Rick on Facebook
Follow Forrest on Facebook
Visit Forrest's website
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Forrest and Dr. Rick tackle the tricky topic of dealing with other people’s psychological defenses. It’s often easier to see other people’s defenses than to see our own, which can make them particularly frustrating to deal with. In this episode, Rick and Forrest explore the psychological and communication skills that will allow you to have more successful conversations.
They start with a quick summary of what psychological defenses are and how they operate, before talking about recognizing our biases, showing empathy, and establishing a productive tone. Rick explains how to break the cycle of counterattacks that can happen when people get defensive, and how to balance different needs for closeness and distance. Topics include effective communication skills, moving from criticism toward values, managing frustration, and helping other people become more self-aware.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction, psychological defenses recap
3:40: Why can’t we see other people’s defenses?
10:35: Recognizing our own vulnerabilities, and showing empathy
14:20: Setting the tone
20:10: Disrupting the cycle of counterattacks
24:20: Approaching differing needs for closeness and distance
31:15: Joining with empathy before escalating requests
38:55: A mutual orientation toward growth
41:45: Seeing openings for dialog when they present themselves
43:40: Basing dialog around values vs. criticism
47:40: Managing frustration
53:25: Is there any way to help others become more self-aware?
1:01:35: Recap
I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.
Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month.
OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Connect with the show:
Subscribe on iTunes
Follow Forrest on YouTube
Follow us on Instagram
Follow Forrest on Instagram
Follow Rick on Facebook
Follow Forrest on Facebook
Visit Forrest's website
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Have you ever felt like you knew yourself a little too well? While self-awareness is usually helpful, it can sometimes lead to overwhelm, anxiety, confusion, and self-consciousness. In this episode, Dr. Rick and Forrest explore what we can do if we feel like we’re “too self-aware.”
They begin by identifying some of the issues that can arise with self-awareness, differentiating it from self-consciousness, and highlighting how conflict between different parts can stop us from becoming who we want to be. They then discuss how developing ego strength can help us become more authentic and free in our behavior. Rick then guides Forrest through a role-play exercise aimed at reducing self-consciousness and social anxiety, and addressing parts of ourselves we may not like.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:40: Can we be "too self-aware?"
3:55: Three ways self-awareness can cause problems, and four stages of growth
8:25: Outside-in vs. inside-out change, and self-consciousness
14:20: Authenticity, feeling stuck, and internalizing judgment
18:45: Ego strength, and what helps people navigate overwhelm
29:10: What not to do, and a roleplay example with Forrest
35:00: Showing interest in others, and rumination
40:15: More roleplay with Forrest, anxiety, overanalysis, and shame
53:25: Qualities we like and can embrace about an exiled part
1:01:30: Recap
I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month.
OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Connect with the show:
Subscribe on iTunes
Follow Forrest on YouTube
Follow us on Instagram
Follow Forrest on Instagram
Follow Rick on Facebook
Follow Forrest on Facebook
Visit Forrest's website
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
About 30% of people will experience depression at some point in their lives, and most of us know what a depressed mood feels like. Because depressive episodes are common, there’s no lack of good advice out there. But depression is so challenging in part because it attacks our ability to do anything about it. Depression saps our energy, is demotivating, and makes it difficult to actually put that good advice into practice. In this episode, Dr. Rick and Forrest explore what we can do about this, and how we can break out of an episode of depressed mood.
They start by talking about what causes depression, introduce the biopsychosocial model, and identify an overall framework for most depressive episodes. Rick and Forrest then explain the vicious cycle of depressed mood before focusing on what a person can do practically to break the cycle. Topics include identifying mindsets, changing how we interpret information, fully experiencing our emotions, rumination and ruminatory processes, taking in the good, and creating openness to possibility.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
2:15: Distinguishing a depressed mood from MDD
7:25: Causes of depression
12:00: Absolutist beliefs and self-compassion
17:45: The paradox of motivation, and small ways to break the cycle
24:20: Fully experiencing your feelings, and emotional release
30:05: Discerning between thoughts and experiences
38:30: Rumination, finding evidence of positive change, and interoception
42:50: Recognizing what you don’t know, being receptive to love, and simply being
52:00: Recap
I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month.
OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Connect with the show:
Subscribe on iTunes
Follow Forrest on YouTube
Follow us on Instagram
Follow Forrest on Instagram
Follow Rick on Facebook
Follow Forrest on Facebook
Visit Forrest's website
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Most of us have gone through a time in life when it felt like we were stuck: unable to deal with our issues, change in useful ways, or make our lives the way we wanted them to be. It’s often not for lack of trying. You read the books, you followed the exercises, you maybe even saw a therapist…but it just didn’t help. On today’s episode, Dr. Rick and Forrest explore why this happens, and what we can do about it.
Rick shares a simple framework we can approach change through before Forrest digs into the six key factors that prevent us from changing. They talk about self-acceptance and how we can relax our attachment to the current version of ourselves, before moving on to factors that affect motivation. They then discuss working with fears, becoming courageous, and leaning into a more authentic version of who we are.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:25: What we can (and can’t) change
4:15: Taking inventory: What hasn’t worked?
9:00: Seeing what’s true
15:25: Holding onto an identity, recognizing your defenses, and experimenting
29:55: Motivating yourself, and releasing feelings of guilt
36:35: Secondary gains
46:30: Courage, boredom, and fear of the unknown
50:20: Appreciating how our environment influences us
55:40: Seeing what’s already working, and getting new inputs
1:04:00: Authentically being you
1:06:55: Recap
I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month.
OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Connect with the show:
Subscribe on iTunes
Follow Forrest on YouTube
Follow us on Instagram
Follow Forrest on Instagram
Follow Rick on Facebook
Follow Forrest on Facebook
Visit Forrest's website
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Dr. Rick and Forrest open the mailbag and answer questions focused on strengthening our relationships. They explore how we can support friends and loved ones who are experiencing depression while also caring for ourselves, managing different levels of capacity within a relationship, maintaining self-worth and trust in the context of body image insecurities, and navigating the often tricky dynamics of a partner’s relationship with their ex. The episode closes with Rick and Forrest sharing how they’ve handled repair in their parent/child relationship, and what we can do to manage anxieties about the future.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:40: Establishing boundaries with a loved one who is depressed
11:00: Managing different levels of capacity in a relationship
16:45: Body image insecurity, and trusting that others love us
31:45: How do I navigate my partner's relationship with their ex?
42:15: I’m nervous that as my child ages they’ll blame me for my parenting. What can I do?
1:02:15: Recap
I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month.
OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Connect with the show:
Subscribe on iTunes
Follow Forrest on YouTube
Follow us on Instagram
Follow Forrest on Instagram
Follow Rick on Facebook
Follow Forrest on Facebook
Visit Forrest's website
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
If we want to accomplish something in life it usually takes a combination of motivation and consistency - in other words, discipline. Discipline is both essential…and shockingly hard to develop. In today’s episode, Forrest and Dr. Rick explore how we can become more disciplined. They talk about whether discipline came naturally to Rick, and the lessons we can learn from his journey with discipline. Key topics include how to make even frustrating tasks rewarding, the relationship between discipline and self-concept, how to identify key wants, needs, and aspirations, and learning to feel good when we do good.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
2:30: Rick’s personal history with cultivating discipline
5:45: Finding reward in necessary tasks
17:50: Engaging in your life, and knowing what you really care about
22:35: The power of your self-concept
31:45: Breaking things down into small parts
36:45: Motivation, distress tolerance, and meta-motivation
46:35: Getting out of a negative mindset, and finding what works for you
54:10: Recap
I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.
Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.
OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Connect with the show:
Subscribe on iTunes
Follow Forrest on YouTube
Follow us on Instagram
Follow Forrest on Instagram
Follow Rick on Facebook
Follow Forrest on Facebook
Visit Forrest's website
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Psychological defenses are subconscious strategies we use to protect ourselves from uncomfortable emotions, and they exert a hidden power over our behavior. From denial and repression to projection and rationalization, Dr. Rick and Forrest explore how these defenses shape our actions, influence our relationships, and affect our overall well-being.
They start with the function and structure of most defenses, before giving a few simple examples. Rick then dives into the role of defenses in psychoanalytic theory, their role in managing self-worth and shame, and what we can do to become less defensive over time. They close with practical strategies for working with our defenses, including a brief discussion of what we can do to help other people with their defenses.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
2:30: Psychological and historical factors influencing psychological defensiveness
8:00: Some examples of unconscious anxiety bubbling up
12:00: Repression, regression, projection, reaction formation, and sublimation
16:55: An overview of Freud’s developmental model of the personality
24:10: A few examples of how our defenses manifest
33:40: Consciousness, competence, and joining the defense
44:00: Navigating shame and guilt
50:15: Distress tolerance
57:15: Social connection, and finding healthy outlets
1:00:20: When and how to approach others about their defensiveness
1:10:45: Recap
I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.
Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.
OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Connect with the show:
Subscribe on iTunes
Follow Forrest on YouTube
Follow us on Instagram
Follow Forrest on Instagram
Follow Rick on Facebook
Follow Forrest on Facebook
Visit Forrest's website
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Dr. Rick and Forrest finish their series on the stress responses with the fawn response: an appeasement strategy where we manage stressful situations by giving others what they want. Rick and Forrest start by discussing common symptoms, including people pleasing, self-abandonment, difficulty saying no, weak boundaries, and chronic self-sacrifice. They talk about the roots of the fawn response and its connection to complex PTSD before exploring people pleasing in detail. In the second half of the episode they focus on practical tools for developing healthy boundaries, self-acceptance, and a stronger sense of self.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
2:15: What the fawn response looks like
9:05: Power imbalances, shame, and contempt
11:35: What personal history tends to lead to fawning?
20:00: How to work on the tendency to fawn
36:30: Shame, self-acceptance, and opening up to self-expression
41:25: The fawn response in relationship
46:40: Becoming your own source of safety
52:20: Making equitable arrangements, and acknowledging your best efforts
1:01:50: Recap
I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.
Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.
OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Connect with the show:
Subscribe on iTunes
Follow Forrest on YouTube
Follow us on Instagram
Follow Forrest on Instagram
Follow Rick on Facebook
Follow Forrest on Facebook
Visit Forrest's website
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Somatic trauma therapist Elizabeth Ferreira joins Forrest to explore how we can create more secure relationships. They talk about the lessons they've learned from their relationship, the impact of trauma and prior relationship wounds, and how very different people can make things work. Topics include complex PTSD, how to work through disagreements, changing our model of relationships, and learning how to actually support your partner.
I loved this conversation, and hope you enjoy it!
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:10: The myth of relationships solving your problems, and self-awareness
4:25: Me, you, and us
13:45: Changing your partner by changing yourself
16:45: Embracing the challenges of vulnerability
23:25: Disagreeing well, making specific requests, and holding space
33:05: Learning how to support your partner
37:40: Five different styles of relationship
40:55: Moving from trying to please your partner to showing compassion
45:15: Love as a choice, and expressing wants and needs positively
49:30: Simply liking your partner
I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
If you’re navigating something messy, call The Dr. John Delony Show. Dr. John shares practical advice on how to connect with people, face depression, overcome anxiety, and learn what it means to be well. Listen wherever you get your podcasts.
Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.
OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.
Connect with the show:
Subscribe on iTunes
Follow Forrest on YouTube
Follow us on Instagram
Follow Forrest on Instagram
Follow Rick on Facebook
Follow Forrest on Facebook
Visit Forrest's website
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Dr. Rick and Forrest open up the mailbag and answer questions from listeners. They explore how to deal with chronically negative people, managing avoidant tendencies that get in the way of us finding a great relationship, and separating normal desires for support from more problematic ones. They then talk about how we can build self-confidence and become more internally referenced, before closing the episode with a sticky situation involving supporting an aging parent.
If you’d like to send in a question to be answered on the podcast, join our Patreon or email us at contact@beingwellpodcast.com.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:00: My friend is chronically negative, what can I do?
13:05: How can I move past a cycle of avoidance that’s inhibiting my ability to find a good relationship?
26:05: I want to be supported by my partner, but I’m worried about becoming enmeshed. How can I seek help in a healthy way?
39:30: How do I stop seeking validation from others?
45:20: How do I react to ongoing criticism from an aging parent?
58:15: Recap
I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
If you’re navigating something messy, call The Dr. John Delony Show. Dr. John shares practical advice on how to connect with people, face depression, overcome anxiety, and learn what it means to be well. Listen wherever you get your podcasts.
Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.
OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.
Connect with the show:
Subscribe on iTunes
Follow Forrest on YouTube
Follow us on Instagram
Follow Forrest on Instagram
Follow Rick on Facebook
Follow Forrest on Facebook
Visit Forrest's website
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Forrest and Dr. Rick explore “manifesting:” the idea that our thoughts impact the world around us, and by changing those thoughts we can change our lives. Talking about manifesting is complicated, because on the one hand our thoughts really do matter. On the other, manifesting is closely tied to a small mountain of problematic pseudoscience. They discuss and debate some of the issues with manifesting and the law of attraction before focusing on how to apply key psychological principles to create the life you want.
Rick and Forrest talk about creating clarity around our goals, setting intentions, improving self-worth and self-efficacy, and overcoming some of the negative unconscious beliefs that can get in our way, before exploring authenticity, consistent effort, and working with fear and inhibition. Then Rick closes the episode by walking us through a practical example of how to change a belief.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
3:00: Defining manifestation, and separating psychological and supernatural mechanisms of action
6:55: The mind-body connection, and the psychological aspects of manifesting
15:50: Charlatanism, preying on uncertainty, and the problems with the law of attraction
25:20: Changing behavior vs. changing thoughts, and the lure of the supernatural
32:10: If you want to skip the context, start here.
32:35: Getting what we subconsciously believe we are worthy of, and “don’t know” mind
38:50: Identifying wants, surrendering to the best within us, and using pain as a guide
48:55: Embracing the reality of consistent effort
54:55: How to change a negative belief
1:08:10: Recap
I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
If you’re navigating something messy, call The Dr. John Delony Show. Dr. John shares practical advice on how to connect with people, face depression, overcome anxiety, and learn what it means to be well. Listen wherever you get your podcasts.
Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.
OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.
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Dr. Rick and Forrest discuss the “flight” response to stress, which includes feelings of anxiety and fear, avoidant behavior, and an underlying sense of insecurity. They explore the emotions and behaviors associated with the flight response, and how we can build up a stronger, more secure sense of who we are. Rick shares some practical tools that will help you change your self-concept, safely apply principles from graduated exposure, and feel safer from the inside-out.
I’ve loved this series on the stress responses, and think you’ll get a lot out of this episode.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:00: The purpose of the flight response, and when it is and isn’t useful
5:35: Social withdrawal, conflict avoidance, and preserving safety vs. comfort
12:15: The trouble with low likelihood, high-cost risks
16:35: Exploring our capacity for stress, and identifying the risks worth taking
26:30: Feeling “sturdy,” and why we choose the flight response vs. other stress responses
33:30: Graduated exposure
39:05: Learning to trust our new capabilities as we change
44:50: Overdoing a change as a form of self-sabotage, and reserving the power to flee
54:25: Responding to anxiety
1:01:40: Being present with painful situations we can’t escape
1:08:40: Recap
I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
If you’re navigating something messy, call The Dr. John Delony Show. Dr. John shares practical advice on how to connect with people, face depression, overcome anxiety, and learn what it means to be well. Listen wherever you get your podcasts.
Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.
OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.
Connect with the show:
Subscribe on iTunes
Follow Forrest on YouTube
Follow us on Instagram
Follow Forrest on Instagram
Follow Rick on Facebook
Follow Forrest on Facebook
Visit Forrest's website
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Dr. Rick and Forrest continue their series on the stress responses with the “fight” response to stress. They explore anger, repression, and the balance of self-expression and self-regulation before talking about how we can claim the adaptive aspects of the fight response without falling prey to its more problematic aspects. A major focus of the episode is resentment and repression, alongside related topics like empowering yourself, managing expectations, and “experiencing out.”
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:15: The useful aspects of anger
5:40: Specific behaviors associated with the fight response
8:35: Giving yourself permission to express anger
13:40: Navigating resentment
21:40: Thwarted expectations as a source of unhealthy anger
32:05: Claiming your anger, and being wary of its seductive nature
35:45: Developing an authentic sense of empowerment
39:45: Going from complaint to request
43:30: Antidotes to unhealthy anger
52:40: Challenging authority without feeling intimidated or shamed
54:20: When we’re angry at ourselves
59:00: Recap
I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
If you’re navigating something messy, call The Dr. John Delony Show. Dr. John shares practical advice on how to connect with people, face depression, overcome anxiety, and learn what it means to be well. Listen wherever you get your podcasts.
Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.
OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.
Connect with the show:
Subscribe on iTunes
Follow Forrest on YouTube
Follow us on Instagram
Follow Forrest on Instagram
Follow Rick on Facebook
Follow Forrest on Facebook
Visit Forrest's website
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
In this mega-episode, clinical psychologist Dr. Rick Hanson and Forrest Hanson explore everything you need to know about therapy. They share how you can get more from therapy, finding the approach that’s right for you, and some perspectives on why therapy is so expensive. They then run through the five major schools of Western psychotherapy before discussing a few alternative modalities. You’ll learn how long to stick with a therapist before looking for alternatives, questions to ask a prospective therapist, and how to maximize your results.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:40: The biggest factors that contribute to therapy going well
7:25: Finding the therapeutic modality that works for you
14:00: The cost of therapy, and the problem created by insurance companies
20:35: The five major schools of western psychotherapy
21:20: Psychodynamic therapy, and investigating the unconscious
23:20: Behavioral therapy, and variable reinforcement
25:55: Humanistic psychology, and seeing the good in yourself
29:05: Cognitive therapy, why insurance companies like CBT, and exploring our beliefs
36:15: Mindfulness-based therapies, and being with our experiences
41:15: Family systems therapy, social justice, somatic therapy, and non-Western thinking
46:20: The differences (and similarities) between therapy and coaching
52:40: How long therapy should take, and how to evaluate if it’s working
1:02:15: The role of client motivation
1:04:55: Questions to ask a prospective therapist
1:10:15: The importance of the therapist’s engagement
1:12:50: Common qualities Rick found challenging with past clients
1:16:05: The importance of internalizing change, and recognizing what’s really shifting
1:21:20: Recap
Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
If you’re navigating something messy, call The Dr. John Delony Show. Dr. John shares practical advice on how to connect with people, face depression, overcome anxiety, and learn what it means to be well. Listen wherever you get your podcasts.
Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.
OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.
Connect with the show:
Subscribe on iTunes
Follow Forrest on YouTube
Follow us on Instagram
Follow Forrest on Instagram
Follow Rick on Facebook
Follow Forrest on Facebook
Visit Forrest's website
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Somatic psychology legend Dr. Peter Levine joins Dr. Rick and Forrest to explore how we can use body-based approaches to recover from traumatic experiences. Peter uses his personal history with trauma to illustrate the practices he’s taught to thousands of people through his work. They discuss the importance of resourcing experiences, creating safety, developing interoception, abandonment wounds, bringing a diverse perspective to somatic work, and working with shame.
Please be aware that this episode includes a description of sexual assault.
About our Guest: Dr. Peter Levine is the creator of Somatic Experiencing and the Founder and President of the Ergos Institute for Somatic Education. He’s taught at a number of universities, has received Lifetime Achievement awards from numerous organizations, and is the best-selling author of several books, including Waking the Tiger, Healing Trauma, and his most recent book An Autobiography of Trauma: A Healing Journey.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
2:15: Peter’s dream about publishing his recent book
6:40: Themes connecting the personal and professional for Peter
10:15: Physicalization, pendulation, and decontextualization of trauma
16:15: Presence with others, and moving gently into shame to move through it
20:55: The fundamental view that we our innately healthy, and completing the arc
23:05: When the prompt “feel it in your body” doesn’t work
28:15: Advice for when you don’t have access to therapy or a SEP practitioner
30:35: Tenderness
34:30: Anchoring in the here and now when accessing past memories
39:35: Conceiving of yourself as a source of safety
43:30: Generating your own internal wellbeing
46:20: Acknowledging the reality of your history, patience, and completion
49:45: Living by dying
52:15: Recap
Offer from Dr. Rick: If you'd like to improve your self-worth, check out Rick's new 4-hour, live online workshop. You'll learn methods and practices that can actually change your brain and your habits, so you start nurturing your sense of worth and belonging. Our listeners can get 20% off with coupon code BeingWell20: https://selfworthworkshop.com/
Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
If you’re navigating something messy, call The Dr. John Delony Show. Dr. John shares practical advice on how to connect with people, face depression, overcome anxiety, and learn what it means to be well. Listen wherever you get your podcasts.
Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.
Connect with the show:
Subscribe on iTunes
Follow Forrest on YouTube
Follow us on Instagram
Follow Forrest on Instagram
Follow Rick on Facebook
Follow Forrest on Facebook
Visit Forrest's website
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Dr. Rick and Forrest explore a huge topic: what can we do to recover from a difficult childhood as an adult? Rick introduces a three step process that can help us reclaim our past, identify the key needs we have these days, and internalize related positive experiences. They discuss related tools from psychology like releasing repressed emotions, claiming agency where we can, and changing what we emphasize in the story of our lives. If you had a hard time growing up, this one’s for you.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:40: Recovering from childhood wounds - Reclaim, Resupply, and Repair
7:00: Clarifying your personal narrative, and the importance of agency
12:25: How the unmet needs from your past impacts your present
18:25: Changing what we emphasize in the story we tell ourselves
28:50: Letting the fizz out of the bottle
32:20: Identifying the right medicine for your unresolved wounds
38:00: How developing competency helps you break free from your past
41:50: Self-soothing through envisioning positive experiences
45:00: The process of letting go of the childhood you wish you had
57:50: Naming what you want from life, and the universal ground of being
1:02:00: Recap
Offer from Dr. Rick: If you'd like to improve your self-worth, check out Rick's new 4-hour, live online workshop. You'll learn methods and practices that can actually change your brain and your habits, so you start nurturing your sense of worth and belonging. Our listeners can get 20% off with coupon code BeingWell20: https://selfworthworkshop.com/
Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month.
Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.
Visit airdoctorpro.com and use promo code BEING to receive up to $300 off air purifiers! When you use our code, you’ll also receive a free 3-year warranty on any unit, an $84 value
Connect with the show:
Subscribe on iTunes
Follow Forrest on YouTube
Follow us on Instagram
Follow Forrest on Instagram
Follow Rick on Facebook
Follow Forrest on Facebook
Visit Forrest's website
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Dr. Lindsay Gibson joins the podcast to share her groundbreaking work on emotional maturity. Forrest and Dr. Gibson explore how growing up with emotionally immature caregivers can affect our adult relationships, and what we can do to recover from these experiences, build healthier patterns, and disentangle from emotionally immature people. They start by discussing what emotional immaturity means, some of its key characteristics, and the consequences of growing up with emotionally immature parents. They then talk about how we can move away from “role-self” and develop a deeper connection with who we really are. You’ll learn practical tools for recognizing emotionally immature people, managing your relationships with them effectively, and establishing healthy boundaries.
About our Guest: Dr. Lindsay Gibson is a clinical psychologist and the author of a number of books including Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents and Disentangling from Emotionally Immature People. Her most recent work is the Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents Guided Journal.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:20: What is emotional immaturity?
7:25: Affective realism and involuntary coping mechanisms
14:00: An example of a childhood with emotionally immature caregivers
18:50: The “role-self,” and how children respond to a parent’s lack of empathy
25:15: Receiving guidance from the authentic self
29:25: How the role-self affects relationships in adulthood
41:25: Healthier relationships by connecting with the authentic self
50:10: Letting go of healing fantasies in adult relationships
56:10: Guilt, emotional coercion, fear of loneliness, and finding optimal distance
1:02:55: How to identify with yourself as a secure base
1:06:20: Recap
Offer from Dr. Rick: If you'd like to improve your self-worth, check out Rick's new 4-hour, live online workshop. You'll learn methods and practices that can actually change your brain and your habits, so you start nurturing your sense of worth and belonging. Our listeners can get 20% off with coupon code BeingWell20: https://selfworthworkshop.com/
Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month.
Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.
Visit airdoctorpro.com and use promo code BEING to receive up to $300 off air purifiers! When you use our code, you’ll also receive a free 3-year warranty on any unit, an $84 value
Connect with the show:
Subscribe on iTunes
Follow Forrest on YouTube
Follow us on Instagram
Follow Forrest on Instagram
Follow Rick on Facebook
Follow Forrest on Facebook
Visit Forrest's website
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Saying things like "greed" and "envy" are okay alienates those of us that use those names for mortal sins and things we definitely do not want to be a part of us. Most therapy modalities think alienating us is okay but it's not and the whole field is leaving us with almost nowhere to get therapy that works.
Amazing!
I love this episode! I was totally expecting to experience it as 'capitalist productivity mumbo jumbo' 😁 but it was so applicable for me right now with my personal development. thanks forest and Ben.
Fantastic episode, so helpful! Thank you!
You guys are the absolute best. Seriously. Any ONE of these episodes or any of the Hanson's material can really be life changing. Pure gold. Thank you.
Great episode. Very helpful. You know at my current age, 58, i feel that if podcasts like this were available I'd be much more happy today and wouldn't have side stepped a lot of challenges.
Just another idea. 25 yrs back it was all Men are from Mars Women are from Venus. I'll write the next couples book. One line on one page, Just Be Nice.
Amazing! this hit home!
Great episode.. Thanks
LOVED this episode. Thank you to you both, but especially Elizabeth for her vulnerability in sharing her personal story. It helps and gives the rest of us courage to share our stories! We can learn so much from one another when we break down the walls and share. Thank you so much!
First time listening. Thank you so much for your efforts!
This is one of my favorites! Beautiful dialogue on an important topic. Thank you!
You two are so solid and always engaging. I love the pacing, tone, curiosity, and beautiful father/son dialogue every single time. Thank you for your thoughtful and consistent creations. Love, love, love!
you always provide value in your discussions and i feel that this topic is very relevant today. thank you very much for this content. fantastic!
Each podcast is consistently full of excellent material and I appreciate the Hansons' commitment to helping us rewire our brains to become more kind, loving, and compassionate human beings towards others and ourselves. I also enjoy the summary at the end of each podcast. Thank you for the hard work you put in on our behalves.
A thorough show about psychology. Thank you very much!
A gentle and loving look at our layers of being that have been shaped by our contact with the world. Lovely holding and exploration of "our original source". Thank you
Thank you, this was a lovely meditation and I like the idea of some additional shorter episodes
Wonderful listening as always!
First time listening to the show! I have to say that I was super impressed with the host and his on-point insightful questions/responses. Dr. Alfie is a super hero. Her work is outstanding! I gained so much knowledge from listening to her interview and highly suggest it to those working in counseling, psychiatry, and social work.