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Berner Phone

Author: Hannah Berner and Des Bishop

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The Berner Phone hotline is open! Hannah Berner and her husband, comedian Des Bishop, are listening to callers, dishing out their best advice, and bantering back with hilarious chemistry for their first ever podcast together. Keep an eye out on their Instagram stories for prompts to leave a voice message and be featured on the pod. Whether it’s pet peeves, secrets, life advice, dating dilemmas, or career questions, Hannah and Des are dialed in.
310 Episodes
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'Tis the season for the biggest family fights of the year. Hopefully these stories of Thanksgiving conversation gone wrong will make you feel better about your family's holiday dysfunction.
Berner Phone #65: Bad Gifts

Berner Phone #65: Bad Gifts

2024-11-1701:07:18

Sometimes it really is better to give than recieve. This week the dialers are sharing the worst gifts they've ever gotten.   
Des is in the hot seat this week. He's answering all the things you've ever wondered about men. This is the most dialers we've ever had call in and you don't want to miss this one.  getjackblack.com/BERN with code BERN for 10% off seed.com/BERN with code 25BERN for 25% off 50% off at goodamerican.com with code BERNER carawayhome.com/BERN for 20% off
We address the pros and cons of Halloween and people's most embarassing costumes.  20% off dog food at sundaysfordogs.com/bern  Free shipping at quince.com/BERN free shipping mackweldon.com/gifting for $25 off menswear
Hannah's back (again). We're coming for everything from running to bad sex positions and the dialers are sharing hot takes on the most overrated things in life.   10% off cookware at Carawayhome.com/BERN 20% off bras and shapewear at honeylove.com/BERN 200% off tonal.com exercise machines with code BERN 25% off Daily Synbiotic at seed.com/BERN with code 25BERN 30 day free trial at dipseastories.com/BERN
Hannah is back on pod this week and we're feeling nostalgic. Is there really such a thing as a the good ole days? Those who got to go to Blockbuster on Friday nights and burn CDs for their high school girlfriend would say yes.  10% off skin and body care at oseamalibu.com with code BERN 40% off at hungryroot.com/BERNER 15% off all products at lumedeodorant.com with code BERN 20% off and a free cat toy at prettylitter.com/BERN 
Des is joined by the hilarious Joanne McNally this week. They're giving advice on dating a comedian, in-law issues, how to woo an Irish man, and correct emoji usage.  Free shipping at quince.com/bern 25% off Daily Synbiotic at seed.com/bern with code 25BERN Save $15 on skincare at Apostrophe.com/PHONE $200 off your order at tonal.com with code BERN  
The dialers have been through the wringer with some crazy liars. We start off light hearted then hear some insane (and possibly illegal) stories. We don't condone lying BUT white lies about why you were late or why you canceled plans are completely ok. zocdoc.com/BERNER 15% off at lumedeodorant.com with code BERN 30 days free at dipseastories.com/BERN 20% off bedding at bollandbranch.com/BERN  40% off at hungryroot.com/BERNER 40% off 50% off at factormeals.com/BERN50 with code bern50 20% off CleanMyMac X with code bernerphone  40% off dog food at sundaysfordogs.com/BERN
Gripes come in many forms and, in our book, they are all completely valid. The dialers are sharing the things that grind their gears and Hannah gives some advice to the big booty girlies. 20% off shapewear at honeylove.com/BERN quince.com/BERN for free shipping and returns  15% off all products at lumedeodorant.com with code BERN 20% off at liquid-iv.com with code BERN 20% off at prettylitter.com/BERN with code BERN    
Bad roommates are a canon event, but they always make for a good story. The dialers are sharing some horror stories and we start to realize we might have been the bad roommates.  quince.com/BERN for free shipping 10$ off at oseamalibu.com with code BERN 25% off at seed.com/bern with code 25BERN $5 with code BERN when you download the Ibotta app  
There were some wild and juicy messages this week. We're giving more advice about relationships, trying stand up, and ruining wedding days.  Get cookware for 10% off at hexclad.com/BERN 40% off dog food at sundaysfordogs.com/BERN Get up to 43% off and a free gift at mudwtr.com/BERN  30 day free trial at dipseastories.com/BERN 15% off sheets at bollandbranch.com/BERN
We're back this week with another advice episode. The dialers have found themselves in some sticky situations and we're giving our unprofessional advice.  $200 off exercise machines at tonal.com with code BERN 50% off at factormeals.com/BERN50 with code BERN50  Get a new wireless plan at mintmobile.com/BERNER  Affordable luxury essentials at quince.com/BERN free shipping  25% off daily synbiotic at seed.com/BERN with code 25BERN  25% off shaving needs at shopflamingo.com/BERNER   
We've all fallen victim to buying items from targeted ads that seem like the cure to all our problems. This week the dialers are sharing the purchases they regret and have hidden from their spouses. And it's one of our favorite episodes so far.    20% off the best chips at masachips.com with code BERN Smell good with 15% off at lumedeodorant.com with code BERN  15% off at citylips.com with code BERNER 40% off at hungryroot.com/BERNER 20% off bras and shapewear at honeylove.com/BERN 50% off haircare prose.com/BERNER   
What if we all stopped trying to make excuses and just said no? The moral of today's episode is "if it's not a fuck yes it's a no".    zocdoc.com/berner  Get 25% Daily Synbiotic at seed.com/bern with code 25BERN 20% off better hydration at liquid-iv.com with code BERN 15% off bedding at bollandbranch.com/bern  25% off shaving needs at shopflamingo.com/berner with code BERNER 10% modern bidets at hellotushy.com with code BERN
Pets are the glue that hold our lives and our mental sanity together. But they have minds of their own and despite what we may think, they don't always listen to us. This week the dialers are sharing some wild pet stories. Some left us laughing and some left us cringing. 10% off skin and body care at oseamalibu.com with code BERN $5 for registering on the Ibotta app with code BERN Get the best cat litter 20% off plus a free cat toy at prettylitter.com/BERN with code BERN Snack guilt free at masachips.com with code BERN for 20% off Get 20% off your CleanMyMac X subscription with code BERNERPHONE
The dialers are sharing the minor things that feel like a complete disaster. From incorrect food orders to stubbing your toe - days are being ruined nationwide. Luxury essentials at quince.com/bern for free shipping and returns Cut down on your wireless bill at mintmobile.com/berner Get ready to eat meals with 50% off at factormeals.com/bern50 with code bern50 10% premium cookware at hexclad.com/BERN  Get premium hydration for 20% at liquidiv.com with code BERN First skincare visit for $5 at apostrophe.com/phone with code phone  
We're back with another unprofessional advice epsiode. Becasue it's so much more fun to help other people with their problems than trying to solve your own. The dialers are navigating wedding stress, awkward family situations, and dating dilemmas.  Get the best chips for 20% off at masachips.com with code BERN 20% off shapewear at honeylove.com/BERN  nurx.com/BERN for expert mental health help Get 25% off Daily Synbiotic at seed.com/bern with code 25BERN $5 off your skincare consultation at apostrophe.com/phone  15% off with code BERN at lumedeodorant.com  Upgrade your athletic wear at greatnesswins.com with code BERN for 25% off 
Nothing ruins your peaceful drive like a bad driver. Hannah doesn't have a driver's license but don't worry she still has plenty of opinons. This was a cathartic episode for Des who claims he doesn't have road rage.  Get 20% off better hydration at liquidiv.com w/ code BERN 50% off custom haircare at prose.com/BERNER 15% off luggage at BEISTRAVEL.com/BERN  Make going to the doctor easy at zocdoc.com/BERNER Get 10% off skin and body care at oseamalibu.com w/ code BERN  
Things don't always work out the way we planned but often it turns out for the best. Whether it's crazy ex boyfriends or crushed dreams of winning Wimbledon, life has a way of working out.  Give your gut some support with 25% off at seed.com/bern with code 25BERN  Upgrade your athletic wear at GreatnessWins.com and use code BERN for 25% off Sleep better with 15% off and free shipping at bollandbranch.com/bern Get cash back on every purchase and $5 just for trying Ibotta. Download the app and use code BERN when you register.  
We're going through the dialer's favorite song lyrics and there are even some impromptu performances. We learned Hannnah likes music that makes her want to punch a wall and Des likes music that makes him tear up.  For 15% off deodorant -  use code BERN at lumedeodorant.com Get high quality essentials at quince.com/BERN for free shipping and returns Get the best drinks with free shipping at liquiddeath.com/BERN High quality athletic wear at greatnesswins.com code BERN for 25% offf nurx.com/BERN
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Comments (18)

Amber Laila

💚WATCH>>ᗪOᗯᑎᒪOᗩᗪ>>LINK>👉https://co.fastmovies.org

Feb 5th
Reply

Moti

Seriously Alex, be more full of your self! Geeze

Jan 1st
Reply

Robert Zalunardo

Hannah and Rayna boom fire

Nov 25th
Reply

Tony Rickman

They got to nearly 40 minutes before every third word became "like"

Nov 2nd
Reply

Robert Zalunardo

amazing episode probably one of the best

Oct 27th
Reply

Margarita Quezada

Can you never have this chick on again? For someone who has worked in radio for 15 years, she is unaware of how grating her voice is. Like she needs to clear it or stop smoking.

Jun 11th
Reply

Joel Schein

cmon baby light my fire...

Apr 8th
Reply

Mike Smith

Sexy Hot Hannah

Apr 8th
Reply (1)

Mike Smith

Your Good!

Mar 21st
Reply

Robert Zalunardo

Another good one Hannah, felt your sympathy, during this interview, of how hard it is the make everyone like you or just fitting in, you got her to open up and how she is in a better place. it's crazy how everyone feels uncertain of their existence, but all turns to better with time.

Jan 15th
Reply

Robert Zalunardo

The Queen of fire strikes again. This poor guy,is getting killed, crazy of him not knowing before coming on. 10 min in so far.

Jan 8th
Reply

Robert Zalunardo

Great segment Hannah, love your best friend approach with guests. I get glued listening, as you always come up with something off topic.

Jan 2nd
Reply

Robert Zalunardo

loved it!

Dec 20th
Reply

Robert Zalunardo

Great interview Hannah.

Dec 18th
Reply

Robert Zalunardo

just listened to this, how is it possible you dont have a line up men that you can pick an choose from that would be able to fit in your life. Your great personality, you've done shit with your life and you have a job. crazy world. great segment.

Dec 16th
Reply

Robert Zalunardo

great job, excellent guest. You both meshed well. new follower, I'm f..ing hooked.

Dec 16th
Reply

Tymel Rory

Love this!! You go Hannah!

Nov 30th
Reply
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