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Bewildered

Author: Martha Beck and Rowan Mangan

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What if we stopped listening to the controlling voice of the culture around us, and instead learned to reconnect with our own true nature? 

Sometimes we aren’t even sure why we feel so bewildered… and discontented… and even downright miserable. Often it’s because we have let the forces of society replace our own instinctive knowledge of what is right for us. 

Now, it’s time for us to find that voice again—before it’s too late.

For Martha and Rowan, Job One is to live according to our deepest truths, making the commitment to feeling good even when it means looking weird. We believe that this is how we will reinvent our world—from the inside out— to create a society that’s kinder, more equitable, and more ecologically sustainable than the one we see around us right now. 

This is the vision that we laugh and stumble and chat and feel our way towards here on this podcast.  Did we mention LAUGH? We want no part of personal and global transformation if it isn’t fun!

So if you struggle to find a place where people who are as idealistic and brokenhearted, as silly and deeply sincere, as bewildered as you are—you might have just arrived. 

Welcome!
74 Episodes
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On Burnout and Reset

On Burnout and Reset

2024-03-2050:18

Ever suffer from burnout? Martha and Ro have, and they're talking all about it on this episode of BEWILDERED! Burnout is something our culture doesn't allow because it expects us to be productive non-stop. However, our wild natures require “wintering” periods where we rest and reset. If you need to recover from burnout (or you want to preempt it), tune in to the full episode to hear Martha and Ro’s insights and suggestions for getting ahead of burnout and resetting your body, mind, heart, and spirit. CONNECT WITH US Follow Martha on Instagram The Bewildered Show Notes Follow Ro on Instagram Follow Bewildered on Instagram See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Get excited because Martha and Ro have a very special guest on this episode of BEWILDERED: their beloved partner Karen Gerdes! While Karen may seem mild mannered and conventional at first glance, that’s just her cover. Karen stopped listening to the voice of culture a long time ago, and she's a dedicated follower of her wild nature. To get to know this paragon of unconditional love, plus learn more about her baffling yet lovable quirks (aka Karen-isms), don’t miss this fun conversation. It's a love fest! CONNECT WITH US Follow Martha on Instagram The Bewildered Show Notes Follow Ro on Instagram Follow Bewildered on Instagram See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Big Feelings

Big Feelings

2024-02-2101:06:02

Have you been struggling with big feelings? Frustration. Overwhelm. Anger. Grief. These are all vitally important human emotions, yet the culture demands we suppress them at all costs.  In this episode of Bewildered, Martha and Ro talk about why that is, and how our painful emotions help us survive—and thrive! If you want to learn more about "feeling all the feels" and the powerful healing and transformation waiting on the other side of your heaviest emotions, this is an episode you won’t want to miss! CONNECT WITH US Follow Martha on Instagram The Bewildered Show Notes Follow Ro on Instagram Follow Bewildered on Instagram See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
The culture tells us that whenever we achieve a goal, we're supposed to stay there:  “Now you're a butterfly. The End.”  Yet Nature, which we're all part of, is always changing.  In this final episode of their series on change, Martha and Ro are coming “full square” to talk about Square Four in The Change Cycle, which is about relaxing into the fact that there is no absolute destination. Listen to find out how to enjoy Square Four without gripping it too tightly—and welcome the next change into your life.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Change Cycle: Wild Horses

Change Cycle: Wild Horses

2024-01-2401:04:02

Have you ever felt driven to do specific excruciating tasks, and you couldn’t explain why?  This "wild horses feeling" is present whenever you're working toward your heart's desire, and it's a key part of what Martha calls Square Three in her Change Cycle methodology. To learn the difference between culture and nature when it comes to hard work, and how you can find strength in the struggle, be sure to tune in to this third installment of Martha and Ro's four-part Bewildered series on The Change Cycle. CONNECT WITH US Follow Martha on Instagram The Bewildered Show Notes Follow Ro on Instagram Follow Bewildered on Instagram See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Change isn't always easy, but did you know that parts of the process can be a lot of fun? In this second re-release episode from their four-part series about The Change Cycle, Martha and Ro are exploring Square Two—the "dreaming and scheming" phase when the feeling of who you're becoming begins to filter into your consciousness. To learn how to play in the "space for dreaming," follow your curiosity, and find out who you're truly meant to be, be sure to listen to this fun and insightful conversation! CONNECT WITH US Follow Martha on Instagram The Bewildered Show Notes Follow Ro on Instagram Follow Bewildered on Instagram See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Change Cycle: Bug Soup

Change Cycle: Bug Soup

2023-12-1357:59

Do you know what happens to a caterpillar inside its cocoon?  It disintegrates into a gooey mass before its cells reform into a butterfly. This "bug soup" phase isn't pretty, but it's an essential part of change—what Martha refers to as Square One in her Change Cycle methodology. In this special re-release episode of BEWILDERED, Martha and Ro talk all about Square One and what happens when your previous identity must dissolve.  If you've been struggling with change and letting go, this episode is for you! CONNECT WITH US Follow Martha on Instagram The Bewildered Show Notes Follow Ro on Instagram Follow Bewildered on Instagram  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
The culture says it's a given that the people who love you will understand you. But very often, the people who love you don't understand you at all—yet they can have the strongest ideas about who you should be. Martha and Ro are opening up the BeWild Files to talk about how to stay committed to your purpose when your loved ones don't understand it. Listen to the full episode to learn how to let go of the longing for consensus, disentangle love from understanding, and find the people who truly get you. CONNECT WITH US Follow Martha on Instagram The Bewildered Show Notes Follow Ro on Instagram Follow Bewildered on Instagram See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Beauty That Moves

Beauty That Moves

2023-11-1555:01

Martha and Ro are coming “full square” on this episode of BEWILDERED® to talk about Square Four in Martha’s Change Cycle. The culture tells us that whenever we achieve a goal, we're supposed to stay there: “Now you're a butterfly. The End.”  Yet Nature, which we're all part of, is constantly changing. Eventually, you'll be sent back to Square One and the cycle will start anew.  To find out how to enjoy Square Four without gripping it too tightly—and welcome the next change into your life—be sure to tune in!LINKS SECTION Bewildered episode 59: Bug Soup (Square One in Martha’s Change Cycle) Bewildered episode 31: A Space for Dreaming (Square Two in Martha’s Change Cycle) Bewildered episode 60: Wild Horses (Square Three in Martha’s Change Cycle) Ro’s cupholder diatribe (at 03:34 of Bewildered episode 17: Unshamable) Maria Bamford  “Splinter” by Ani DiFranco Tiny Beautiful Things by Cheryl Strayed “Little Boxes” by Malvina Reynolds 100 Foot Wave documentary series “Evolve” by Ani DiFranco Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth GilbertCONNECT WITH US Follow Martha on Instagram The Bewildered Show Notes Follow Ro on Instagram Follow Bewildered on Instagram See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
The hinges have come off, folks—Martha and Rowan have jet lag (and they're not afraid to use it!) in this episode of Bewildered: Zen and the Art of Traveling with Toddlers.  On two recent international trips, Martha and Ro's toddler got sick, and things were challenging to say the least... Now Ro wants to figure out if all the suffering was worth it, or if they sacrificed their child's wellbeing for the sake of culture. The answer they arrived at may surprise you, so don't miss the full conversation!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Have you ever bravely shared your authentic self, only to agonize over it later thinking you shared too much? This is something Brené Brown calls a "vulnerability hangover”—and we've all been there. In this episode from THE BEST OF BEWILDERED, Martha and Ro share their own experiences with vulnerability hangovers and reveal the "culture work" that’s brought them massive liberation.  Feeling hungover from vulnerability? Then be sure to tune in for the full episode—it's one of Martha and Ro's favorites!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
It's THE BEST OF BEWILDERED, and this week we’re revisiting another favorite episode from the vault: Making the Right Choice. The culture believes there’s always a single right choice and that choosing wrong means you've wasted your entire life. So is it any wonder a lot of us freeze in panic when faced with making a decision? Martha and Ro talk about how we can move past this "decision paralysis" and they offer a wild new way to view decision-making. It's an insightful conversation worth hearing again!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
In case you missed out the first time around, Martha and Ro are sharing some of their all-time favorite episodes in a series called The Best of Bewildered. First up, Elizabeth Gilbert Gets Bewildered! In this encore episode, Liz joined Martha and Ro to discuss why the culture is so hostile toward women who are childless by choice. Don't miss their engrossing conversation about resisting the patriarchy, the saving grace of oversensitivity, and how to trust the wisdom of the body to guide us to our truth.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Wild Horses

Wild Horses

2023-09-0601:02:31

Have you ever felt driven to do specific excruciating tasks, and you couldn’t explain why?  While the culture mindlessly tells us we should always work hard, there's also a place in our true nature for dogged, determined work. In this Bewildered, Martha and Ro talk about the “wild horses feeling” that's present whenever you’re working toward your heart’s desire. To learn the difference between culture and nature when it comes to hard work, and how you can find strength in the struggle, be sure to tune in!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Bug Soup

Bug Soup

2023-08-2356:09

Do you know what happens to a caterpillar inside its cocoon?  It disintegrates into a gooey mass before its cells reform into a butterfly. Martha calls this state "bug soup." It's not pretty, but it's an essential part of change—including our own! In this episode of BEWILDERED®, Martha and Ro talk about how to allow yourself to dissolve, even though the culture teaches us to resist it like crazy. If you've been struggling with change and the process of letting go, this is an episode you won't want to miss.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
You know those big, magical dreams you can't seem to let go of, the ones that could change the whole course of your life?  Martha and Ro call these wild yearnings “way station dreams,” and you better believe the culture will try to crush them with everything it’s got.  Tune in for this episode of BEWILDERED, Episode 58: Dream Dashers and Way Stations, to learn how you can discover what your own way station dreams are, overcome the culture’s inevitable objections, and make your wildest dreams come true!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
On this episode of BEWILDERED® Martha and Ro answer a question from listener Laurel, who's struggling to focus on a big creative project in a world full of distractions. The culture tells us that we can be successful at our long-term projects if we just work harder. But since we’re human beings and not robots, Martha and Ro recommend a different approach. For their insights on how to commit to the flow of creativity, value surrender, and stake your claim to a creative life, tune in for the full episode!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
When to Leave

When to Leave

2023-07-1237:12

"Should I stay, or should I go?" In this BeWild Files episode of BEWILDERED®, Martha and Ro dive into this question—and they say that the first step is to question our thoughts. Why? Because problems often come from our thoughts about our circumstances rather than the circumstances themselves. And our thoughts can be shifted once we get to a place of peace. To learn how to ground yourself, shift your thoughts, and use peace as a compass to make the best decisions for you, tune in for the full conversation!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
The Pull

The Pull

2023-06-2852:58

Have you ever had the sense of being pulled towards something...but you had no idea why? Martha and Ro call this mysterious feeling “the pull,” and they’re talking all about it in Episode 55 of BEWILDERED®. They share examples of following the pull in their own lives and how it led to some truly beautiful outcomes. Listen to the full episode to find out what the pull is, why our culture doesn't recognize or value it, and how you can learn to trust that it's leading you toward your soul's fulfillment.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Anxiety in the culture—what exactly is going on there?  That's what Martha and Ro are trying to figure out in this special Anxiety Files episode of Bewildered. As a society we create structures to control things and keep us safe so we don't have to feel afraid. The irony is it doesn't work—because being controlled is also scary!  Join Martha and Ro for the full episode to learn how to use your right brain to stop the spin of anxiety, break free from the culture's control, and return to your true nature.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Comments (8)

Pam Longston

Love, love, love the laughter and fun these two have while demonstrating in real time bow to work through procrastination (or is it procrastibation?)

Dec 9th
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Elizabeth Whiteman

Hetero marriage and families are not going away, so best to figure out how to make them work better for women. I feel that it is in my nature to be married with children (and I am) but my husband and I are creative about making it work for me so that I'm rested and fulfilled. We need to make this easier for women at all income levels.

Aug 30th
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Katie Down

ooh, I'm listening at about 41 minutes, and my first thought is I don't agree. Institutions can deny individuals access to safety and sustenance. It's not feasible for large numbers of people to go off grid and sustain themselves without institution infrastructure. More personally (sample size of 1, lol), I have to (as do many chronic babes) engage with the institution that is the Australian health system because the alternative is death, and I'm not ready to shuffle off yet*. so, choice 1: live, precludes turning away from big ol' institutions. *less about fear of death than about having a long-arse list of fun things to do. 😃 🧡

Jun 16th
Reply (2)

Pam Longston

Really helps me to figure things out! Love the fun notes on each episode. The insights are given with love and warmth, and these Teo have a lot of fun together.

Apr 7th
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Jessica Landini

Are we getting more episodes soon? Just found these and I love the practices you teach!

Jun 15th
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Cid Lough

Wisdom aplenty and moments that had me laughing outloud in every episode! I think Martha and Ro have the BEST timing and energy, and this feels like sitting in on conversations between the two of them. It’s my favorite!! Thank you both! 💜 #gonadofgoat

Mar 1st
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