Beyond Success

We’re taught from a young age that success is the best path to a fulfilling and satisfying life. So achievers dedicate themselves to achieving, thinking it will bring success.  The problem is, success is not the same thing as fulfillment. And often, the more successful you become, the emptier you feel inside. As your relationships crumble, your self-doubt, loneliness, and existential fear consume you.  Worst part?  Success only further magnifies these feelings. You could have all the material success in the world, but you’ll still feel hollow inside.  In today’s episode, you’ll discover the hidden emotional toll of success, how to face buried feelings before they sabotage everything you love, and how to be both successful and fulfilled.  Listen now.  Show Highlights Include: The weird way becoming more successful makes you feel emptier inside (and the only true way to find fulfillment) (1:51) The vicious cycle of society that traps you in a never-ending loop of achievement at the expense of true fulfillment, connection, and happiness (4:55)  How success hides your deepest emotional issues until they explode to the surface (6:06)  The hidden emotional toll of success that makes life harder with each achievement instead of easier (9:32)  Why suppressing emotions creates a “pressure cooker effect” that results in a midlife crisis (17:10)  How avoiding your emotions steals your power over them and makes you do their bidding (20:06)  For more about David Tian, go here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/  Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery 

Most achievers who want more from life—whether in their relationships, career, or fulfillment—turn to best-selling self-help books. But most of the “wisdom” in these bestsellers doesn’t stand the test of time—at least not when compared to ancient texts that have helped people for thousands of years.  One such ancient book that offers a treasure trove of wisdom is called the Zhuangzi, an early Daoist text. And while it’s more than 2,000 years old… the wisdom contained inside this text is timeless. In fact, it’s even more useful in modern life than it was in ancient times.  In this episode, we're diving into wisdom that could completely reshape your life coming from a source that most achievers have never even heard of. It's ancient, it's profound, and it might just unlock what you've been searching for in love, career, and your inner life.  Listen now.  Show Highlights Include: Why this under-the-radar, ancient text can solve your modern day relationships problems better than any best-selling self-help book (0:31) What if you didn’t have to struggle, stress, or endlessly prove yourself? Here’s a liberating mindset that can get rid of these pressures (3:58)  The “Wu Wei” secret for becoming more authentic and aligned in your relationship instead of always at tension’s mercy (8:42)  How to become more successful than you ever imagined by letting go of your expectations and the constant grind for success (13:01)  Do you feel trapped in your own identity? Here’s why a butterfly can set you free from this perspective and give you a healthier one (16:55)  How to permanently eliminate your neediness (both in your relationships and career) (24:45)  This ancient Chinese technique helps you “fast” your mind (and free yourself from worries, pressures, and emotions that aren’t serving you) (27:23)  The Bruce Lee method for becoming wildly successful in your personal and professional life by acting like a toddler (30:14)  For more about David Tian, go here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/  Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery 

Your earliest relationships when you were a child can significantly impact your relationships as an adult.  How?  Well, when you’re young, you develop one of four attachment styles that can make or break your relationships today. The problem is, only one of these attachment styles set you up for a long, thriving relationship. While the other three are the culprits behind why you’ve sabotaged past relationships.  That’s the bad news.  The good news? It’s possible to break free from a self-destructive attachment style and instead learn the skills and mindsets to develop a secure attachment style. And that’s exactly what we cover in today’s show.  In this episode, you’ll discover the 4 attachment styles, how they show up and impact relationships, and how to grow out of an insecure attachment style into a secure one.  The end result?  Not only will you have more luck with building a healthy, thriving relationship, but you’ll also grow in every other area of your life too.  Listen now.  Show Highlights Include: How to break free from your relationship-sabotaging attachment style (even if it’s wrecked every relationship you’ve been in) (0:34)  The weirdest, yet most proven way to grow in your career, land a promotion, and bring home a bigger paycheck (2:12)  How your parents’ programming suffocates your relationships today (and how to stop letting your childhood programming control your adult life) (3:53)  4 types of attachment styles, how to figure out which style best suits you, and how each one shows up in relationships (4:14)  The “survival strategy” mindset shift for understanding and healing past traumas that keep you stuck today (11:24)  How the “name it” method builds emotional awareness, improves your emotional regulation, and helps you avoid explosive fights (17:46)  For more about David Tian, go here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/  Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery 

Do you find yourself hopping from one toxic relationship to the next? If so, here’s a tough pill to swallow: You’re the common denominator—especially if you think you’ve just gotten unlucky in relationships.  But here’s the truth…  Until you take full responsibility for your own actions and behaviors, no matter how big or small, you’ll keep repeating the same toxic patterns.  But there is a solution (as long as you’re willing to get uncomfortable and take responsibility for the role you’ve played in sabotaging your relationships).  It won’t be easy, but it will help you finally break free from the cycle of toxic relationships—for good.  In today’s show, you’ll discover why blaming your partner is a double edged sword, how you push your own unresolved issues onto your partner, and most importantly, how to take responsibility for your role in toxic relationships, so you break out of the toxic cycle.  Listen now.  Show Highlights Include: The brutal truth about why you’re constantly finding yourself in toxic relationships (0:30)  How to free yourself from toxic relationships by following the difficult, yet wildly effective “RR Method” (0:43)  Do you find your partner being too flirty with others out of nowhere? Here’s why your deep-seated insecurity could be the reason… (3:56) The insidious “Drama Triangle” that plays out in unhealthy relationships (without either person realizing they’re making their relationship toxic) (4:56)   How to take responsibility for relationship conflicts and turmoil (even if you’re not the one to “blame”) (8:46)  Asking yourself this question when you feel a rush of anger, jealousy, or fear in your relationship empowers you to break free from the toxic cycle that follows you to every relationship (15:25)  Why a victim mentality prevents you from building a healthy, long-term relationship (and how to ditch your victim mentality for good) (17:09)  For more about David Tian, go here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/  Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery 

Nothing is more destructive than a toxic relationship. It’s more dangerous than a bad diet, a lack of exercise, and even smoking. Energy-sapping relationships don’t just mess with your mental health, they also shorten your life.  But how do you build a thriving, long-term relationship that grows stronger each year, instead of one that devolves into resentment, or worse, passionless?  Well, that’s what I reveal in today’s episode.  You’ll discover the 5 key relationship skills you need to master to build a relationship that doesn’t just survive, but thrives—despite the obstacles you and your partner will encounter.  Listen now.  Show Highlights Include: This is the ONLY way to prevent your relationship from self-destructing in a blaze of fights, resentment, and bitterness (or slowly devolving into a passionless, lifeless partnership) (0:56)  Why getting triggered at innocent, passing comments by your partner can be a good thing for your relationship if you do this after (2:06)  How relying on your significant other to fix how you feel slowly poisons your relationship down to the roots (3:00)  Try this simple “I, not you” technique when discussing your emotions with your partner to avoid unnecessary conflict (4:29)  How to bounce back after an emotional rupture in a way that actually strengthens your relationship (9:44)  This mindset is one of the best predictors of a successful, long-term relationship and one that ends in misery (12:38)  The “time out” secret for de-escalating a conflict that’s heating up too rapidly (17:32)  For more about David Tian, go here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/  Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery 

The longest running study in history has proven, with 80+ years of data to back it up, that your relationships are the single most important factor for your longevity, happiness, and even your career.  Here’s the problem:  The reverse is also true. In fact, being in a bad marriage can shave off 12 literal years of your life. To make matters worse, most people never think that their relationships alter their health, longevity, or success.  In today’s show, you’ll discover how exactly a bad marriage shaves off years of your life, how a strong marriage doesn’t just increase your lifespan, but your success too, and why your relationships are more important than your bank account, your job title, and your VO2 max. Listen now.  Show Highlights Include: Why achieving (and surpassing) your fitness and financial goals won’t keep you happy, fulfilled, or even alive (only THIS will…) (0:58)  3 ways a toxic relationship shaves off actual years of your life (2:04)  How the “slow drain” trap men often find themselves in erases 12 years from your life (7:24)  The weird way a strong marriage supercharges your career growth and wealth (11:03)  The rarely-talked about #1 most powerful asset for achieving lasting success (13:26)  How to get the health and success benefits of marriage even if you’re single (15:36)  This is the most important predictor of your health, happiness, and fulfillment—proven by 80+ years of data (20:20)  For more about David Tian, go here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/  Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery 

Therapy is one of the best ways to better understand yourself, your emotions, and your past. Especially with how they impact your present.  Until it’s not.  Staying in therapy for too long can turn into an endless loop of processing feelings without ever moving forward. It makes you feel stuck in a victim mindset, haunted by your past, instead of actively working to change your present and future.  In today’s show, you’ll discover what to do next after therapy to best move forward, unlock personal growth, and create the life you want to live.  Listen now.  Show Highlights Include: 4 massive limitations of therapy that can actually make it take longer to grow from your past (0:44) The insidious “Therapy Trap” many who go to therapy fall into that keeps you stuck in place (and what to do after therapy to make real change) (3:19) 3 reasons why leadership coaching leads to more growth and confidence than therapy ever could (5:48)  Asking yourself this simple question when you feel stuck instantly frees you from this feeling (10:57)  How taking full responsibility of your past empowers you to change your present and future (even if everything wasn’t solely your fault) (19:27)  For more about David Tian, go here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/  Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery 

Your decision-making process is the single most critical skill you’ll ever need. Figure out how to make good decisions that align with your values, and your life will become immeasurably better. Neglect this skill and your life can turn into a nightmare faster than a speeding bullet. So, how can you improve your decisions and, as a result, your life? Despite what most people think, you can’t make better decisions by improving your logic or reasoning skills. Instead, you have to hone something most people neglect in the decision-making process: Emotions.  In today’s show, you’ll discover why your emotions are the key to better decisions and how to better control your emotions.  Listen now.  Show Highlights Include: How emotions you avoid “hijack” your decision-making process and can sabotage your life (1:59)  Why experiencing your emotions, not avoiding them, makes them powerless over you (2:51)  The “8 C’s” method for making sounder decisions that lead to a happier life (6:31)  How to tweak your inner dialogue to make even the scariest of emotions less daunting (8:17)   The “Name It” secret that prevents fear from dominating your decision-making process (16:18)  How to leverage “Emotional Momentum” to motivate yourself in an instant (this is especially helpful when life gets tough) (22:02)  For more about David Tian, go here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/  Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery

There is a massive, misery-inducing downside of success: While achievements are great, they aren’t enough to make life meaningful. But most achievers have been tricked into believing the exact opposite. And the more they achieve their wildest goals, the more empty they feel inside.  If you keep grinding without reflecting on why you’re so miserable, you may find yourself ready to call it quits with life—even if you have external success that makes others jealous. In fact, I found myself in this exact situation: I achieved every goal I had as a teenager… but ended up on a ledge on the 57th floor on a skyscraper ready to jump.  Why?  Because achievements alone don’t make life meaningful and conquering more goals without addressing your emotions will only make you more miserable. But don’t worry - there’s a way out of this vicious cycle.  In today’s episode, I reveal how you can break out of this achievement trap, why your personal happiness improves your productivity and creativity, and how to stop seeking success for success’s sake.  Listen now.  Show Highlights Include: The weird way groundbreaking achievements lead to “rock bottom misery” if you have this common flaw (1:21)  A Nobel Prize-winning philosopher’s warning about how prioritizing your career torments your soul (3:48)  An unusual way to improve your resilience, creativity, and better handle stress that most achievers never consider (5:27)  How seeing your close friends on a regular basis can add 12 years to your life (8:25)  Why dating a model and actress threw me into the deepest depressive funk I’ve ever been in—and how to avoid making this mistake in your life (19:08)  How to unlock a constant stream of peak “flow state” according to hard, scientific data (26:30)  For more about David Tian, go here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/  Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery

If you’re an achiever, whether you notice it or not, you’re on a dangerous path.  Why?  Well, most achievers fall into something I call the “Achiever’s Trap.” It’s an endless vicious cycle of achieving. Now, that might not sound dangerous at first, but a constant desire for success can only lead to burnout, isolation, depression, and even an early death.  There are other things which, believe it or not, are more important to your long-term happiness and longevity than success alone.  In today’s show, you’ll discover how the Achiever’s Trap mangles your happiness, why it can lead to an early death, and what you should focus on instead of success to live a long, healthy, and fulfilling life.  Listen now.  Show Highlights Include: The insidious “Achiever’s Trap” which keeps you unfilled and unhappy despite your success (and how to overcome it) (0:49)  This Harvard research study reveals the only way to find lasting happiness (1:34)  Why chasing success leads to burnout, loneliness, and depression (4:29)  The #1 predictor of long-term happiness and a long life (10:52)  How your relentless pursuit of success can sabotage your physical health (13:05)  The simple mindset shift that turns your feelings of inadequacy and dissatisfaction into fulfillment (27:21)   For more about David Tian, go here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/  Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery

After helping hundreds of thousands of people, from 87 different countries, find fulfillment, happiness and meaning in their personal and professional lives, I’ve decided to start a new journey to help you do the same.  Beyond Success is a brand-new show that explores the ideas that lead to lasting happiness and fulfillment—not just short-lived “success.”  If you’ve succeeded on the outside but feel like something deeper is missing, this show will pave the road for your happiness and fulfillment on the inside.  In this introductory episode, I reveal the key concepts and ideas that we’ll discuss on this podcast, explore how to invite more joy into your life, and shatter some of the biggest myths keeping you successful, yet unfulfilled.  Listen now.  Show Highlights Include: Are you successful on the outside but feel like something deeper is missing? Here’s how to feel fulfilled and successful (1:10)  Why striving for perfection fast tracks you towards failure (and why focusing on this instead unlocks true happiness) (2:32)  Is there a way to enjoy life and achieve your goals with more ease and efficiency? Yes, and here’s how to do it (3:21)  How embracing your emotions (instead of instantly shutting them down) improves your decision-making process (3:49)  The single most dangerous word in the English language for your joy (4:19)  For more about David Tian, go here:  https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/ Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:  https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery

Socially awkward guys don’t get girls, that’s the cold, hard truth. But hiding your social awkwardness and anxiety isn’t the answer either. When you repress, exile, and cut out your social anxiety in order to feel good about yourself, you force it further into your subconscious. And when you cram it into the depths of your brain? It’s still active, and it’s still there sabotaging your success, but now you’re no longer aware of it.  That’s the bad news. The good news? You can leverage your social anxiety and awkwardness to meet and date women in your life. You just need to know how to tap into it. And in today's episode, David reveals a few strange and unique ways to free yourself from crippling shyness. Listen now! Show Highlights Include: The weird way shouting from the peak of a mountain you’re a nerdy comic book fan frees yourself from crippling shyness and debilitating social anxiety (1:55) How following the “normal solution” to inner conflict pollutes your subconscious with negative thoughts that sabotage your ability to have a loving relationship (2:34) Unable to find fulfillment? Here’s how to unlock the subconscious, repressed parts of your brain (and discover how to let go of the things you can’t change) (3:36) The outdated, and backward idea that “ego is the enemy” (and how to never rely on stress, anxiety, pressure, and deadlines in order to get things done ever again) (5:29) How proudly displaying your superiority complex magnetizes unconditional love, approval, and security in your self-worth (17:58) Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 17 years, I’ve helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. I’m therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to take this quick quiz to access my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://dtphd.com/quiz now. For more about David Tian, go here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/ Emotional Mastery is David Tian’s step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery

Do you buy into the myth that success alone brings happiness and fulfillment? The techniques 95% of Americans use to strive for success, growth, and personal development guarantees they won’t be fulfilled in the long run. There is a completely different and unique way to approach success. And it’s imperative you discover this way to gain personal happiness, success, and insane amounts of growth in your life. In today’s episode, you’ll discover how to experience success and growth — while also being happy, fulfilled, and not having to wait until you succeed in order to be happy. Listen now! Show Highlights: The polar-opposite method to build a financial empire comparable to Rome (without stress, anxiety, and depression) (1:20) How your parents lied to you about the concept of self-worth (and how this lie keeps you mired in a state of loneliness and poverty) (3:26) The counter-intuitive way dreaming of “sipping pina coladas on the beach” will force you to become a desperate workaholic who never spends time with your kids (11:15) How immersing yourself in “flow capital” will scientifically unlock a never ending state of high happiness (13:28) Why you’ll chain yourself down with concrete in the Hudson River if you wake up with nothing to do on Monday (14:25) Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 17 years, I’ve helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. I’m therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to take this quick quiz to access my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://dtphd.com/quiz now. For more about David Tian, go here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/ Emotional Mastery is David Tian’s step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery

From a young age, attractive women become masters at sniffing out neediness. Most men don’t discover this fact about life until they’ve sabotaged their dating lives and relationships. But here’s the good news: There’s a proven system for overcoming your neediness. It won’t happen overnight, but it will free you from the sadistic grip neediness has over you.  In this episode, you’ll discover the 7 steps to obliterate your neediness for good.  Listen now.  Show Highlights Include: - How your fear about relationships dupes you into making relationship-ending mistakes (even if you don’t realize it) (2:40)  - The counterintuitive reason becoming wealthy skyrockets your neediness (3:04)  - Why women can see through your inauthentic attempts to get to know their personality like Swiss cheese (4:41)  - The fundamental human needs that help you exterminate your neediness (9:03)  - Why having an agenda of picking up women when you go out subconsciously repels them from you (13:27)  - The 7 experiential steps to meet your own needs and obliterate your neediness (20:30)  Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 17 years, I’ve helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. I’m therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to take this quick quiz to access my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://dtphd.com/quiz now. For more about David Tian, go here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/ Emotional Mastery is David Tian’s step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery

In order to find a loving relationship, you need to become somebody you’re not. You need to rock a new haircut, fill your wardrobe with designer clothes, and hit the gym 24/7. You need to morph into Sean Connery’s James Bond.  Charming, handsome, seductive, and irresistible to modern women. Here’s the thing: If you’re seeking a long-term relationship, this is easily the worst advice you could ever listen to! Now, if you're optimizing your life for a short-term fling, have at it. Be the “player.” But I’m assuming you're reading this because you want a long-term relationship. And if you are, then what you need to do is unburden the already naturally attractive parts in you. In today’s episode, I reveal the 7 steps to unleashing the already naturally attractive parts within you. Listen now! Show Highlights Include: - The “BSYANA” myth that sabotages your chances of finding a loving relationship with the “one” (3:28) - How to unleash the naturally attractive parts of yourself with these 7 steps (9:03) - Why most men fail to be the man that modern women desire most (hint: it’s not being a macho man like Sean Connery’s James Bond) (16:23) - The “LASAE” strategy to be sexually attractive in the eyes of heterosexual women (21:01) - How to form deeper emotional connections with women by teleporting back to your teenage self (23:33) Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 17 years, I’ve helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. I’m therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to take this quick quiz to access my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://dtphd.com/quiz now. For more about David Tian, go here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/ Emotional Mastery is David Tian’s step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery