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© 2024 Bible Stories for Atheists
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Often we’re told that we need to read the bible. That it would cure us of our atheism. We’re told that the bible is perfect and all answers come from the bible. Welp, let’s take a look at what the bible actually says.
Every week Josh summarizes stories from the bible that Linz is hearing for the first time. There’s no easy outs on this one. No one telling us, “Here’s what the bible really means” then adding stuff that’s not actually there. No one telling us, “The culture was different” when explaining why God didn’t let us all know that women are equal. Let’s see if this is truly the Word of God or just a way for politicians to control their people thousands of years ago.
You’re in for one hell of an experience. There’s incest. Uncles swapping out daughters left and right. Talking animals. Dogs and cats living together. Mass hysteria. You’re going to love it.
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Welcome to the season finale! Creation is over and it's all down hill from here. We find out that Abraham wasn't the best dad. At least until he gets his son laid! That's the best way to make up for the whole sacrifice thing.Thank you for listening! Hopefully you learned something, even if it was how much of dumbasses we are. We'll be back soon, eventually, sometime.Get registered to vote! https://register.rockthevote.comSend us a textSupport the showWebsite - https://www.biblestoriesforathei...
You think you have it hard? You think you have bad neighbors? You think you have family problems? Well, I'm Lot. A mild mannered sodomite that never bothered anyone. And I was a proud sodomite. I sought to unite sodomites in love and acceptance! To reject all the awful crap God told us to do to people. That's what us sodomites are known for. Radical love and acceptance of all. Until a couple angels from the Lord show up and everything went to hell.First my town suddenly developed a sex f...
Sorry, in a rush this week. You'll have to make up your own funny quips and pretend they're in this description. On this week's episode:- Tower of Babel- We meet Abram/Abraham- A big piece of evidence that Moses didn't write Genesis.- The War of the Nine Kings- And we read an email from friend of the show, DwightFor the flood story with the sources highlighted, check out this page: https://www.biblestoriesforatheists.com/resources/bible-historySend us a textSupport the showWebsite - http...
Have you given YOUR firstlings to the Lord? If you don't, your brother might and then where will you be? No regard from the Lord. How are you going to make it in this world without the Lord's regard? You'll end up stripping at Jezaballs for Chucky Cheese tokens!And we let the flood pour over us. Turns out there are two completely different flood stories in the bible and most people don't realize it. Speaking of which, you should check out this video for more Flood Facts (trademark)."The Pre-B...
In the beginning, we'll lay out the building blocks of our 6000 year old universe. And explain that hard, blue shell up there that gets dark at night when you can see the holes in it, or what "NASA" calls "stars".And we talk about the first people. The lab rats in this odd experiment gone horribly infallible. Turns out not knowing right and wrong leads to sinning. Now that we know that, we must permanently punish the lab rats and their descendants forever. That's science.Eve made his pull out...
New 5 episode series coming every Sunday starting August 4th. We'll be covering the first half of Genesis. Insert witty jokes here. Too much crap to do today to do it myself. Send us a textSupport the showWebsite - https://www.biblestoriesforatheists.comReddit - https://www.reddit.com/r/bibleatheistsYouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@bibleatheists Donate - https://www.buymeacoffee.com/bsfa
Hey folks! For our episode today we're changing things up. We're going to be switching to a more "seasonal" model. The plan is we'll get a few episodes lined up around a theme and put them out weekly. So that's the plan, but you should still listen to the episode because we're really funny when we explain it. Like funnier than I was when I just explained it, which wasn't really funny at all.Also, we got a great message from a listener named Patience!"You're beautiful." - James BluntSend us a ...
This is a special episode with two special guests. Ministers Bendr Bones and Luis Cypher, co-heads of the Satanic Temple - West Michigan. Recently, they made news by having the AUDACITY to deliver the opening invocation at an Ottawa County board meeting. And when the Ottawa County board were forced to allow the invocation local Christians lost their damn minds.Invocation Video:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A7kkBj0mnVMOverflow Room Video:https://twitter.com/leftofcentermi/status/178291197193...
We read a selection of Psalms suggested by AI to figure out if this ancient book of songs holds up to the hype.It doesn't.Despite Josh's warnings that we might find the material repetitive and dull, we plunge ahead with open minds, only to discover that the Psalms are boring as Pshit. I don't have anything more to say about it. Why don't YOU have something to say about it?! Huh!?Send us a textSupport the showWebsite - https://www.biblestoriesforatheists.comReddit - https://www.reddit.com...
The kingdom of Israel splits into two separate nations after the death of King Solomon. His son Rehoboam ascends to the throne and when the people ask him to not be a dick like his dad. But his friends goad him into doubling down on his dickishness. He should have listened to Nancy Reagan and just said no to peer pressure!So Jeroboam comes back from Egypt to take control of the northern kingdom of Israel while Rehoboam maintains control of the southern kingdom of Judah (oh yeah, and Benjamin)...
Send us a textSupport the showWebsite - https://www.biblestoriesforatheists.comReddit - https://www.reddit.com/r/bibleatheistsYouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@bibleatheists Donate - https://www.buymeacoffee.com/bsfa
David FINALLY kicks the bucket, but before he does, the good, upright King David, who loved and obeyed God unlike any other king, gives his son a kill list. And boy does Solomon tick off those boxes with gusto.It's a bloody start to the peaceful reign of Solomon. Solomon who had to be the one to build the temple because of all the bloodshed by his father. Weird... God grants Solomon a wish and Solomon asks for wisdom and immediately regrets not wishing for more wishes. Solomon is th...
“Was the Gospel of John Changed to Suppress Mary Magdalene?” by ReligionForBreakfast – https://youtu.be/rfy6oiB_U-ACrucifying Tony Stark – https://youtu.be/V9_AeLmuRKc?t=120Turns out Jesus wants us to #TaxTheRich! At least that’s what he tells some Pharisee’s who try to trap him by asking one question and giving up.Also, Jesus is asked important questions such as if a woman clearly kills 7 brothers, all of whom she married, which one will she be married to at the resurrection.Resurrection? As...
We kick off 1 Kings by only talking about the first chapter. We've heard the Chronicles' version of Solomon becoming king but now we'll learn the King's version which is very different.The Succession drama is real as David gets sickly and curls up with a pretty young virgin. His oldest son for some reason thinks he's going to be the next king and tries to gather support by throwing a feast. Meanwhile, Solomon's mom convinces David to make Solomon king.And we hear from some Christian pastors o...
Oh boy! Is this a great episode if you love vague quantities of precious metals and stones. And the names! Oh the names of it all!We're blowing through the ingredients for a temple and plowing right into Solomon skipping the line to be king and David dying. All completely without incident. At least according to the book of Chronicles.Oh yeah! And the bible talks about aliens! We're pretty sure an ET cult has to exist because of this verse.Sorry, I feel like I just keep talking about me. How a...
We dig elbow deep into a steaming pile of contradictions, curiosities, and constipated commentary. The unerring bible seems to glitch out on us. The all knowing, all powerful author had an apparent brain fart.2 Samuel 24 and 1 Chronicles 21 tell the same story but with some pretty significant differences. Like for example, if the bible is in fact perfect, we are left with the only obvious conclusion that God and Satan are the same person. I mean, we never do see them in the same place at the ...
Fresh off overthrowing his son fresh off overthrowing him, David deals with a dick dividing his domain to dogshit. - Sheba gets the northern kingdom to split from David, but of course that doesn't last long.- David incredibly has a need to kill even more descendants of Saul. - MOAR GIANTS!!1!- And some politically charged poetryHearts and kisses, my dear. Hearts. And kisses.Send us a textSupport the showWebsite - https://www.biblestoriesforatheists.comReddit - https://www.reddit.com...
Happy holidays all you war on CHRISTmas warriors! We're kicking back and watching that time honored 2017 classic Christmas movie, The Case for Christ. Based on the book of the same name, this follows former "journalist" Lee Strobel as he proves that the path to Christianity is paved with stupid questions.Oh yes, it makes complete sense when you set out on a quest to disprove Christianity to only focus on one part of the claim. Ignore the Old Testament. Ignore the inconsistent...
We continue our series on Acts starting with a story about a Sorcerer named Simon. A guy named Philip meets an unnamed Ethiopian eunuch who is really into a prophesy that Philip completely gets wrong. Also it turns out Christians can teleport.We have a real Saul on the road to Damascus moment, when we talk about Saul on the road to Damascus.We talk about the most important woman to never get any attention in bible.And Herod dies at the end in a really crazy way.Sorry, just kinda throwing...
We kick off our series on the book of Acts and start with yet another telling of the ascension of Jesus. Slightly different from Luke but very different from the other gospels.Judas gets replaced.The Holy Spirit comes on everyone at the Pentecost! Lapping up their loins with tongues of fire.And the early church starts getting persecuted simply for yelling at everyone that they killed Jesus.Send us a textSupport the showWebsite - https://www.biblestoriesforatheists.comReddit - https://www.redd...
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