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Birth Mother Matters in Adoption

Birth Mother Matters in Adoption

Author: Birth Mother Matters in Adoption

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Birth Mother Matters in Adoption is Podcast geared for listeners interested in adoption. This podcast focuses on the role of the birth mother in the adoption
82 Episodes
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Birth Mother Matters in Adoption #82: Two Lives, One Choice Part 3 of 3 With any documentary there are always people for or against the message the documentary is projecting.  This particular documentary "AKA Jane Roe" is particularly controversal due to the subject matter of abortion.  In the adoption community, abortion is an alternatve that negates many of the beliefs and stands of adoption; choosing lives, building families, improving the lives of birth mtohers, and so on.  During this podcast we: Discuss our opinions on the film.Expectations vs. Reality of the documentaryDiscuss what we liked and didn’t likeWhat we came away with…What we believe the influence of the documentary will have on abortion We also examine what causes peoples’ opinions, beliefs, and morals to change: Life experiences/ Events in their livesEducationThe notion of “Confirmation bias,” the tendency people have to embrace information that supports their beliefs and reject information that contradicts themInterpersonal influence system Building Arizona Families believes in adoption and started the You Before Me Campaign to support and celebrate birth mothers.  www.ube4me.life
Birth Mother Matters in Adoption Eopside 81: Two Lives, One Choice, Part 2 of 3 Understanding both side of the abortion coin: ProLife and ProChoice will only educate either side to a greater extent, thereby enabling them better prepared to make a make life change.  As a believer in the ProLife Movement, stepping back and looking at the ProChoice beliefs enables us to see where they are coming from; what data is used, what specific points are targeted along with "Where, Why and How?" In order to extend an "olive branch" we need to meet the opposite side either in the middle on on their turf.  Sometimes the promotion of a belief is just repetition on the part of the "believer" without really understanding or even having correct information.  Join us as we dive into the topic of abortion and disecting the framework of why ProChoice followers subscribe to this belief.
Birth Mother Matters in Adoption Episode 80: Two Lives, One Choice, Part 1 of 3 LIsten to Ron Reigns as he talks about his own experience with abortion and how it has impacted his life and his loved ones.  Listen to what it is like to reveal a regretted previous abortion choice to your spouse.  Listen to the heartbreaking discussion of how to discuss it with his adult son.  Ron shows bravery, heroism and cander in his openess to discuss what he considers a huge regret. From an adoption standpoint, most subscribe to two out of the three options: adoption or parenting.  The adoption community’s main goals include building families, preserving lives, and assisting women who are experiencing an unplanned pregnancy.  An important aspect to remember is that adoption agencies generally do not judge or condemn anyone for making an abortion choice in the past; the goal is to educate, empower and preserve future lives. Abortion represents death, finality and loss.  How can the ends ever justify the means when we are talking about a baby, life?  How often have you heard people taking a stand for or against abortion?  Both sides of the abortion coin are fiercely defensive of their opinion; justifying their position and rational.  Taking a step back to look at both sides’ positions and rationales can help clarify and educate the opposing side.  The more abortion is understood, the more one understands and accepts that abortion is anti-human, anti-life, and anti-woman.
Birth Mother Matters in Adoption Episode 79: Adoption Miracles According to Dictionary.com, the definition of a miracle is an effect or extraordinary event in the physical world that surpasses all known human or natural powers and is ascribed to a supernatural cause. such an effect or event manifesting or considered as a work of God.a wonder; marvel.a wonderful or surpassing example of some quality Working in the adoption world for almost 16 years and living in it for 47, I have seen miracles.  Ones that I myself may not believe if I didn’t have the documentation or see it for myself.  Sometimes miracles may not be miraculous for a person not involved in the miracle, but sometimes something so amazing happens, it is just too lifechanging to forget. These are real stories of real people, to safeguard their privacy I will be removing and replacing any identifying information. If you are facing an unplanned pregnancy and considering adoption, a licensed adoption agency is your best option. Local licensed adoption agencies can meet with you face to face, hold your hand when needed, and can remain with you throughout your pregnancy. In addition, you can visit your case worker after placement.  Building Arizona Families is a licensed adoption agency that can walk with you every step of the way.  We would love to hear from you to find out how we can help.  You can call or text us 24/7 at: 623.695-4112.
Birth Mother Matters in Adoption #78: Effects of Social Media on Adoption  It is important to be cautious when using social media because there may be some downfalls in incorporating social media and your adoption process, that could potentially open you up to both scams and criticism.   There are many suggestions for adoptive families looking to connect with a birth mother; getting a Google Voice number, an answering/screening service or setting up a voice mail for someone to call if they have any questions or are thinking of placing their child for adoption. Another option is to include your adoption agency or attorney’s information so the potential birth mother can work directly with the adoption agency or attorney. One of the areas where adoptive families are exposed to adoption scams is through their adoption profile, accessible on a social media platform, whereas if an adoption profile is registered and on an adoption agency website, the interested party has little identifying information and has to go through the potential entity.   Social Media can be a great tool when used with safety and precautions and as an adoption resource.
Birth Mother Matters in Adoption Episode #77: Parenting An Adopted Child, Part 2 Depending on factors, variables, belief in parenting styles parenting a biological child in comparison to parenting an adopted child are not very different. The focus should be added into your parenting rather than taken out.  Here are some examples and suggestions in a brief overview.  Listen to the episode to hear in depth:  When bringing an adopted newborn home, it is recommended to not overstimulate the baby.Remember the nature vs. nurture debate.Don’t alter or change your parenting style because you want to focus on the fact that your child was “adopted.”  Alter or change your parenting style because it would be a better match with your child and your household.Try to let the “adopted” word go.  Focus on your child, rather than on your “adopted” child.Try not to fall into the category of “well if he was my biological child….”Teach what a family is from the beginning focusing on things like: love, dedication, support, commitment rather than strictly on biology.Try to “normalize” adoption in your household.Stop talking about how “lucky” you or your adopted child is; or do it in the same way you would about a biological child.Be mindful of what you say and do. Teach your child how to celebrate differences and similarities.   Parenting an adopted child should be viewed as adding in some extra layers to secure a solid parent-child relationship.  The most important aspect of parenting an adopted child, in my opinion is to insure: unconditional love, unconditional acceptance, unconditional forgiveness, permanence and stability.
Birth Mother Matters in Adoption Episode#76: Parenting a Child  Adopted at Birth There are some variables that may impact and affect the way a parent “parents” a child: Gender of the childParental relationship with their own parents (adopted child’s grandparents) and the parenting they, themselves were reared inA parent’s own temperament, their level of educational, culture, socioeconomic status and the influence of their spouseA parent’s personal life experiences, their employment or lack of employment or maybe mistakes they have made or have been impacted bySocial Media, Outside Perceptions and previous experience There are so many similarities to parenting a biological child in comparison to parenting an adopted child.  Here are five to start with: Parental love should be unconditionalChoose your core values FamilyRight vs. WrongRespectSelf-disciplineEmpathy/Compassion/ SympathyGenerosityConsistency is keyPracticing what you preachPrioritization Parenting an adopted child, does not need to be viewed as tricky, touchy or complicated.  It should be viewed as adding in some extra layers to secure a solid parent-child relationship.  The most important aspect of parenting an adopted child, in my opinion is to ensure: unconditional love, unconditional acceptance, unconditional forgiveness, permanence and stability.
Birth Mother Matters in Adoption #75: Misunderstandings Surrounding Adoption Birth Mothers love their babies and are making an adoption choice because they have chosen to put their babies before themselves.  Birth mothers may be facing factors that society may not realize: There may be little to zero support from friends or family members.Drug use and homelessness are very common reasons for an adoption choice.Birth mothers are very afraid of being judged for their adoption choice.Birth mothers may struggle during their adoption journey and its important to understand when: Attending an OBGYN appointmentExplaining their adoption choiceChoosing an adoptive familyMaking an adoption planReviewing adoption consent paperwork prior to labor and deliveryThe birth of their babyLeaving the hospital4.Saying goodbye to their baby birth mother may have been in foster care and has no family members in her life.This may be not be the first baby placed for adoption by this birth mother. Celebrating adoption as a choice for unplanned pregnancies is a positive way to show your support for our adoption community.  Understanding adoption truths allows facts to surface and myths to dissolve.  It takes a village to raise a child and a nation to support adoption.
Birth Mother Matters in Adoption #74: Finding Peace in Uncharted Waters; Reaching the Acceptance Stage To date all of us are surrounded by uncharted territory, learning to navigate and forage new paths, create a new lifestyle, then the one we were previously used to.  Whether we considered ourselves happy, fulfilled, living a life of joy or even the life we wanted to be living, we were familiar with it, it was comfortable, routine, and few of us like change.  COVID-19 has bought us almost nothing but change, fear and grief.  This can in some instances parallel some situations in the adoption process for both the birth mother and/or the adoptive family.  The Kübler-Ross model of grief teaches us that the 5 stages of grief entail the following: DenialAngerBargainingDepressionAcceptance For a Birth Mother: When a birth mother feels like her family and friends do not support her adoption choice.When a birth mother struggles with her adoption choice after placing her baby for adoption.When a birth mother feels like the adoptive family she chose is not following through with their agreed upon Post Adoption Communication Agreement. For an Adoptive Family: When a birth mother does not choose them to be the adoptive family for her baby.When a birth mother changes her mind causing a disruption in an adoption match between her and an adoptive family.When an adoptive family feels like a birth mother is not following through with their agreed upon Post Adoption Communication Agreement. Whether we are grieving over the Coronavirus Pandemic or an unfortunate adoption experience, grief is still grief.  The stages of grief are vital to learning to live again and find the joy in life.
Birth Mother Matters #73: Naseem- A Birth Mother's Adoption Journey Listen to the story of one brave women who choose adoption for her babies.  She shares her selfless choice, her reasons behind her decisions, the struggles and her experience.  She is one of our podcast listeneners who wanted to share her story from another state because she believes in the power of adoption, despite the heartbreaking choice of a mother.  Choosing adoption meant choosing the best life for her daughters, despite the internal heartache for herself, making the decison out of a mother's love. Choosing adoption means choosing an option with support, aftercare and access to financial resources.  Adoption is a beautiful choice and one that is increasingly becoming a more popular choice.  If you are pregnant and are considering adoption, we are a licensed, full-service, non-profit Arizona Adoption Agency.  We believe in adoption aftercare services and have a program on site to provide continued support through the Donna K. Evans Foundation.  You can contact us 24/7 at (623) 695-4112.  You are not alone and we want to help, thank you for considering adoption, you are making an amazing choice.  Call or Text: (623) 695-4112, Email: info@buildingarizonafamilies.com
Birth Mother Matters in Adoption Podcast 72: Why do Birth Mothers’ Adoption Experiences Vary? A question that many birth mothers have asked me before, during and after going through an adoption; is why do some birth mothers happy with their adoption choice, and others are not as happy afterwards.   There are so many variables that may positively or negatively affect or impact their journey.   Your level of understanding of the adoption processYour reason for choosing adoptionYour support structure or lack of oneIf you follow recommendations of your agencyYour ability and willingness to speak up if things are not going the way you want them to goExternal factors outside of an adoption agency or birth mother’s control may also impact her adoption experience If you are experiencing an unplanned pregnancy and considering adoption and want to learn more or explore your options, we are here for you.  We are available 24/7 by phone or text at (623) 695-4112.  We can make an immediate appointment with you to get started on creating an Arizona Adoption Plan or just give you more information.
Birth Mother Matters in Adoption #71: Making a Hospital Plan During COVID-19 When its time for a birth mother to make an adoption plan with her adoption case worker, this moment is one where she is reminded about how her adoption choice is very real.  Some birth mothers have stated that they haven’t really thought about how they would like their time in the hospital to look like.  Prior to this pandemic, hospital plans looked very different than they do now.  The hospital was the time where a birth mother was able to be able to make all of the decisions about who she wanted in the room with her during Labor & Delivery, where the baby would stay after delivery, how much contact she and her baby would have with the adoptive family during their hospital stay, what discharge would look like; would they be discharged at the same time and leave the hospital together or would they have separate discharge times.  In this situation; looking at it from the outside; its hard to see any highs for a birth mother in regard to a hospital plan as there are so many lows.  Often, what goes down, comes up; so lets examine where there are some positives; learn about the choices a birth mother stills has and how to look differently at the ones she doesn't. If you are listening and you are dealing with an unplanned pregnancy and want more information about adoption, we are a local Arizona Adoption Agency.  We are available 24/7 by phone or text at (623) 695-4112.  We can make an immediate appointment with you to get started on creating an Arizona Adoption Plan or just give you more information.
Birth Mother Matters in Adoption #70: Parenting During the Coronavirus Pandemic Parenting is the best job in the world, but it doesn’t come without bad days, hurt feelings, and often time regrets over decisions parents have made.  Right now, most states have a “Shelter in Place” or “Stay Home” order due to Covid-19.  Most schools have closed, and so kids are at home, unable to go to friends houses or the mall or even the movies. For kids, depending on their age this is a difficult time; their lack of ability to have face to face social interaction, recess, sports, just the shear ability to leave their house is challenging.  For parents who are furloughed or have begun working from home, having to adjust to new challenges of telecommuting is tough, but add in having your kiddos at home can add another layer.  The cherry on the top is now you are having to help your child or at least monitor that they are completing their schoolwork.   April is Child Abuse Prevention and Awareness Month please remember this during COVID-19 and shelter-in-place orders.  In the midst of this outbreak of COVID-19, many families may find themselves facing many of the risk factors for child abuse and neglect: parental stress, economic instability, food insecurity, lack of adequate child care, and lack of normal routines.  Reach out for help if you need it, you are not alone.  Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline is a 24-hour hotline with resources to aid in every child abuse situation. All calls are confidential. Call 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453) for help
Birth Mother Matters in Adoption #69: Is  Coronavirus Impacting Abortions Part 2 Each year, nearly 1 million women choose to end a pregnancy in the United States, and about one quarter of American women will use abortion services by 45 years of age.   According to Guttmacher Institute, around 70,000 people seek abortion care in the U.S. every month. The Guttmacher Institute bases this number off of national abortion data for 2017, and doesn’t even begin to reflect how people’s decision-making around abortion and pregnancy will be impacted by COVID-19.  On Monday, 4/6/2020,  representatives of over 30,000 physicians who practice according to the Hippocratic Oath, the American Association of Pro-Life Obstetricians and Gynecologists (AAPLOG), the American College of Pediatricians, Christian Medical & Dental Associations, the Catholic Medical Association, and the Association of American Physicians & Surgeons, released a statement to end elective abortions during the Coronavirus emergency.   Remember, there are alternatives to abortion, and if you are dealing with an unplanned pregnancy and want more information about adoption, we are a local Arizona Adoption Agency. We are available 24/7 by phone or text at (623) 695-4112.  We can make an immediate appointment with you to get started on creating an Arizona Adoption Plan or give you more information.  Be educated about your unplanned pregnancy choice and alternatives to abortion in Arizona; your baby is counting on you!  With adoption, you are never alone, choose life.  #youbeforeme www.ube4me.life
Birth Mother Matters in Adoption #68: How is the Coronavirus Impacting Abortions    www.birthmothermatterspodcast.com Looking strictly at numbers at the Covid-19 global pandemic:  (These numbers were as of 4/12/2020) To date: total Approximate Global Deaths attributed to or resulting from Covid-19 is: 114,215 To date: total Approximate United States Deaths attributed to or resulting from Covid-19 is: 22,071 Five states—Texas, Ohio, Alabama, Iowa, and Mississippi—have attempted to prohibit nonessential medical procedures during the novel coronavirus health crisis have included abortion among these nonessential procedures. Remember, there are alternatives to abortion, and if you are dealing with an unplanned pregnancy and want more information about adoption, we are a local Arizona Adoption Agency. We are available 24/7 by phone or text at (623) 695-4112.  We can make an immediate appointment with you to get started on creating an Arizona Adoption Plan or give you more information.  Be educated about your unplanned pregnancy choice and alternatives to abortion in Arizona; your baby is counting on you!  With adoption, you are never alone, choose life.  #youbeforeme www.ube4me.life
This podcast is dedicated to understanding how (at this present moment) Covid-19 (Coronavirus) is affecting and impacting our Domestic Adoption Program.  We can only speak on behalf of our Adoption Agency - Building Arizona Families, located in the State of Arizona.  Listen and learn how one agency in the middle of a pandemic is able to continue its mission to build families, assist women in placing their baby for adoption and provide light in a season of darkeness. How will COVID-19 impact domestic adoptions?  Let's jump right into these questions, please understand that we are solely speaking on behalf of Building Arizona Families Adoption Agency and AZ Pregnancy Help; located in Arizona.  We cannot speak for how other agencies are handling adoptions or what their state regulations and guidelines are regarding COVID-19.  We can however go into detail about how we handling adoption and the precautions we are taking. There are alternatives to abortion, and if you are dealing with an unplanned pregnancy and want more information about adoption, we are a local Arizona Adoption Agency. We are available 24/7 by phone or text at (623) 695-4112.  We can make an immediate appointment with you to get started on creating an Arizona Adoption Plan or give you more information.  Be educated about your unplanned pregnancy choice and alternatives to abortion in Arizona; your baby is counting on you!   Building Arizona Families (623) 936-4729 www.BuildingArizonaFamilies.com
Birth Mother Matters in Adoption Episode 66: Covid-19 and Adoption; Coronavirus  This podcast is dedicated to understanding how (at this present moment) Covid-19 (Coronoavirus) is affecting and impacting our Domestic Adoption Program.  We can only speak on behalf of our Adoption Agency - Building Arizona Families, located in the State of Arizona.  Listen and learn how one agency in the middle of a pandemic is able to continue its mission to build families, assist women in placing their baby for adoption and provide light in a season of darkeness. How will COVID-19 impact domestic adoptions?  Let's jump right into these questions, please understand that we are solely speaking on behalf of Building Arizona Families Adoption Agency and AZ Pregnancy Help; located in Arizona.  We cannot speak for how other agencies are handling adoptions or what their state regulations and guidelines are regarding COVID-19.  We can however go into detail about how we handling adoption and the precautions we are taking. There are alternatives to abortion, and if you are dealing with an unplanned pregnancy and want more information about adoption, we are a local Arizona Adoption Agency. We are available 24/7 by phone or text at (623) 695-4112.  We can make an immediate appointment with you to get started on creating an Arizona Adoption Plan or give you more information.  Be educated about your unplanned pregnancy choice and alternatives to abortion in Arizona; your baby is counting on you!   Building Arizona Families (623) 936-4729 www.BuildingArizonaFamilies.com
Birth Mother Matters in Adoption Episode 65: The Posiitive Impact of  Adoption In the past twenty years, there have been lots of changes in the adoption world.  International adoptions became more and more common and often times international adoptive families are not camouflaged, and additionally celebrities, in my opinion have really helped with this aspect.  People look to celebrities and often want to emulate them, and adopting publicly, appears to have assist in the normalization of adoption.  Adoption is more commonly spoke about, integrated into movies, television shows, books, plays, and all around media.  Now that adoption has become more of a common topic, child adoptees may not feel different than their peers, they may not feel like the odd man out. In this podcast, I want to address some common questions people ask.  I want to try to answer on my own behalf, but I suspect there is some commonality among adult adoptees.  How does it feel to be adopted?Do you feel lucky that you were adopted?Why haven’t you adopted?Are you angry at your birth mother for placing you for adoption?Was your adoptive family upset when you wanted to find your birth mother?Are your adoptive family and biological family similar?Which of the two families can you relate to more? If you are pregnant and you are facing an unplanned pregnancy and want more information about adoption, we are a local Arizona Adoption Agency, all of the information provided in this blog regarding birth mothers services are offered by our agency as we cannot speak for another agency and what they may or may not offer.  We are available 24/7 by phone or text at (623) 695-4112.
Birth Mother Matters in Adoption Episode 64: Adoption Match Coordinator Part 2 Listen to Part 2, leanr about the adoption match process between a birth mother / birth parents and an adoptive family.  Continuing listening to our very own adoption match coordinator discuss all aspects of matching an adoptive family with a birth mother.  Listen to her personal adoption experience and what it is to work in the adoption fleild after adopting!  Robyn discusses everything from adoption profile books to adoption preferences.  Learn all about matching with a birth mother!  Everything you have ever wanted to know and more! If you are listening and you are dealing with an unplanned pregnancy and want more information about adoption, we are a local Arizona Adoption Agency.  We are available 24/7 by phone or text at (623) 695-4112.  We can make an immediate appointment with you to get started on creating an Arizona Adoption Plan or just give you more information.
Birth Mother Matters in Adoption Episode 63: Adoption Match  Coordinator Part 1 Listen to our very own adoption match coordinator discuss all aspects of matching an adoptive family with a birth mother.  Listen to her personal adoption experience and what it is to work in the adoption fleild after adopting!  Robyn discusses everything from adoption profile books to adoption preferences.  Learn all about matching with a birth mother! If you are listening and you are dealing with an unplanned pregnancy and want more information about adoption, we are a local Arizona Adoption Agency.  We are available 24/7 by phone or text at (623) 695-4112.  We can make an immediate appointment with you to get started on creating an Arizona Adoption Plan or just give you more information.
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