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Birth Mother Matters in Adoption

Birth Mother Matters in Adoption

Author: Birth Mother Matters in Adoption

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Birth Mother Matters in Adoption is Podcast geared for listeners interested in adoption. This podcast focuses on the role of the birth mother in the adoption
118 Episodes
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Birth Mother Matters in Adoption Season 2, #118: Domestic Violence & Its impact On Pregnancy and Adoption The National Institutes of Health (NIH) estimates abusers target more than 300,000 pregnant women in the U.S. each year, adding that the number may be even higher than that given the reluctance of survivors to disclose abuse, especially during pregnancy. Published in March 2017, in BJOG: An International Journal of Obstetrics and Gynaecology, the results show intimate partner violence during pregnancy is “significantly associated with” preterm birth (before 38 weeks) and low birth weight, finding that women who endured abuse while pregnant were almost twice as likely to deliver their babies preterm. The National domestic violence hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY) offers help to anyone involved in a domestic violence situation. They help victims as well as survivors, friends and family members. They also provide information on sexual assault, battering intervention and prevention programs. Please make sure to call them if you need help.
Birth Mother Matters in Adoption Season 2, 117:One in Four, Part 2 of 2 If you or someone you care about has lost a child to stillbirth, miscarriage, SIDS, or any other cause at any point during pregnancy or infancy, please join us in raising awareness this month for October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. Learn what to say and what not to say to famile is experiencing a miscarriage or stillbirth.Understand why our society has groomed us to not disclose to others about the loss of a baby.Learn about foundations that are supporting families in their time of need and what assistance is available. #nilmdtsawareness #internationalwaveoflight #nilmdts
Birth Mother Matters in Adoption: One in Four, Part 1 of 2 October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month  It may be uncomfortable to talk about miscarriages or stillbirths, but when we say nothing about the loss of the baby, the grief is not acknowledged.  Just because a birth mother is placing a baby for adoption does not mean she does not care about her baby, actually the opposite is true- she loves her baby so much that she is making the hardest choice.  In my experience when a birth mother miscarries or has a stillbirth, she suffers incredibly, questioning herself if the reason the baby passed away was her fault, did her baby not feel loved enough or wanted and was that why? When we are silent about perinatal loss, we send the message that there is no space for mourning, leaving adoptive and birth families isolated and alone in their grief.  The goal of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month of breaking the silence and stigma surrounding pregnancy and infant loss. This month honors the millions of families who have experienced loss through miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant death. Pregnancy and infant loss impacts so many families. 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage.
Birth Mother Matters in Adoption Season 2, 115: Birth Control & Adoption Part 2 of 2 Birth control continues to be a topic that many are still uncomfortable speaking about.  Due to the rating of this podcast, we will be using very general language, please note that this episode may contain language not suitable for children.  Since this podcast is about adoption- the precursor is pregnancy and the precursor to pregnancy is a lack of or ineffective birth control, therefore we feel this is a topic that we must address. This podcast is part 2 of 2.   Choosing adoption means choosing an option with support, aftercare and access to financial resources.  Adoption is a beautiful choice and one that is increasingly becoming a more popular choice.  If you are pregnant and are considering adoption, we are a licensed, full-service, non-profit Arizona Adoption Agency.  We believe in adoption aftercare services and have a program on site to provide continued support through the Donna K. Evans Foundation.  You can contact us 24/7 at (623) 695-4112.  You are not alone and we want to help, thank you for considering adoption, you are making an amazing choice.
Birth Mother Matters in Adoption Podcast Season 2 Ep. 114 Birth Control P. 1 of 2 Birth control continues to be a topic that many are still uncomfortable speaking about.  Due to the rating of this podcast, we will be using very general language, please note that this episode may contain language not suitable for children.  Since this podcast is about adoption- the precursor is pregnancy and the precursor to pregnancy is a lack of or ineffective birth control, therefore we feel this is a topic that we must address. Women who place a baby for adoption may return to our adoption agency to place a second baby or maybe even a third.  The most commonly asked question is how and why does that occur? The best answer to this: a lack of birth control or ineffective birth control due to inaccurate usage or damaged/expired birth control methods.  When I speak with women who come to our agency to place a baby for adoption, we speak about their pregnancy and this conversation takes place whether it is their first adoption with us or their 3rd.  These are the answers I receive when I asked them how they became pregnant: “Didn’t use birth control.”“I forgot to get my shot.”“I wanted to have kids.”“I thought I couldn’t get pregnant.”“I had my tubes tied.”“He told me he couldn’t have kids.”“We have never had to use birth control before.”“I thought he was going to take care of it.”“I have no idea.”
Birth Mother Matters In Adoption Season 2 Episode 113: C-Sections in Adoption   When making a hospital plan, if you are going to be having a scheduled c-section, you can completely detail how you want everything to go.   Normally when having a c-section, you can have one support person in the operating room with you.  Sometimes birth mothers choose the birth father, a family member or friend, the adoptive mother, or the adoption case worker.  Some other benefits of having a c-section when placing a baby for adoption are: You can plan around the dates of your c-section; if you are working then you can notify your job of when you will deliver, you can get things accomplished that you want to have achieved before delivery without having to worry about when you will deliver.The adoptive family can plan to be in town if they are coming from another state, rather than trying to catch the next flight out.You have more time (for recovery purposes) in the hospital which gives you more time to bond with the adoptive family and see your baby.Most likely, you won’t have to worry about being pregnant past your due date. If you are listening and you are dealing with an unplanned pregnancy and want more information about adoption, we are a local Arizona Adoption Agency.  We are available 24/7 by phone or text at (623) 695-4112.  We can make an immediate appointment with you to get started on creating an Arizona Adoption Plan or just give you more information.
Birth Mother Matters In Adoption Season 2 Episode 112:Gender Reveal Celebrations Gender Reveal Parties / Celebrations have become increasingly popular, incuding in the adoption community.  Birth mothers love to be able to surprise their adoptive families with the gender of their baby!  These Gender Reveal Celebrations can be conducted with assistance from the adoption agency, either in person or through the mail, text message or Skype or Facetime.  The Gender Reveal Celebrations can be inexpensive and very exciting!  Listen to learn more about adoption and Gender Reveal Celebrations!
The only real way two adopted children can have the same adoption story is if the same biological parents place a second baby for adoption with the same adoptive family, with the same Post Placement Communication Agreement, and even then there may be a different set of circumstances.  Because children don’t generally like to be singled out of feel different you can point out the following “non-traditional families” Children generally want to be like everyone else, so adding words in front of -siblings, -sister, -brother, just gives a shout out that  this is not a traditional relationship. Adopted Siblings/ Adopted Sisters/ Adopted BrothersFoster Siblings/ Foster Sisters/ Foster BrothersStep Siblings/ Step Sisters/ Step-BrothersHalf Siblings/ Half Sisters/ Half Brothers Adoption stories can be handled with care to not over-inflate or segregate a child’s personal history.  The focus can be on how much this child means to the family and how their life journey will  be very similar his or her siblings, since they are being raised together.  Changing the focus after discussing their adoption story to the here and now and what they can do gives the child control and power, which is important when a child feels a lack of control as they may feel if their adoption story is compared to a sibling’s adoption or birth story.  At the end of the day, we are really just talking about family.  Make th focus on what a family is and what makes a family.
Podcast 110- Part 1 of 2: When Another Adopted Sibling Joins the Family “Not by blood, but bonded to each other just the same.” – Unknown Listen and learn about adopting a second baby.  Listen to answers to commonly asked questions regarding adopting a second child.   Common Questions Asked by Adoptive Families: When is the “best” time to begin a second adoption?Should I adopt a baby again to maintain the birth order?Should I adopt the same race as my first baby?What if the Birth Parents of my adopted child experience a second unplanned pregnancy and choose adoption?  Should I wait and see if this happens?Should I choose a gender this time?What if I prepare my child for this baby and the  birth parents change their mind about placing the baby for adoption?What if the Birth Parents want a different type of Post Adoption Communication Agreement?After I bring my second baby home - how do I answer the question- “are they siblings?”“How many babies are enough?  Our birth parents keep coming back pregnant, but I don’t want to not adopt our children’s siblings?”“Our second adopted child has a very different adoption story” – how do I explain this to both of our children?
Birth Mother Matters in Adoption Season 2, 109: The Pressure of Not Adopting People are “peer pressured” for different reasons in their lives and the types of pressure change with age group. The reasons for birth parents choosing not to parent are sometimes very reflective of why non-birth parents choose to not have children; they are not in a stable relationship, they have personal goals they want to achieve (a maybe certain level of school), they want to begin a new career and climb the ladder, or maybe after having one child, they think- I have reached my limit. Everyone may not be meant to be a parent, some people have very high career goals that will absolutely monopolize every moment of their time, others may have dreams of exotic and frequent travel, others may just want to focus on the married or single life and have a clean house or maybe they really just don’t like children or feel the responsibility of being a parent is overwhelming.   Making a choice to be a parent is a wonderful gift, choice and opportunity, but only if its' one you want.  Being told; “when you see your baby- you will fall in love” or “I understand I felt the same way and when I became a mom I loved it” or “Your biological clock is ticking- its now or never.”  Don’t allow yourself to succumb to this pressure, make a decison that is best for you and if married, your spouse. Adoption is a wonderful choice, if becoming a parent or expanding your family is your goal.
Birth Mother Matters in Adoption Season 2, 108: The " What Ifs" in Adoption A major concern of many birth parents and adoptive families is what happens if my adoption does not go as planned?  In life, so many of us worry about the “what ifs?” We have these worries and fears regardless of whether we are making an adoption plan, pregnant, embarking on a new life journey, about to make a change in life or maybe just struggle with fear and anxiety.   For birth parents, your adoption plan, you are in control as much as anyone can be.  You get to make the decisions about your baby, you get to choose the adoptive family and you get to decide how you want the process to go.  There are aspects of an adoption that will be out of your control, but going into an adoption, try to understand that some of these aspects would be the same if you were pregnant and planning on parenting.   For adoptive families; you can choose what adoption agency you would like to work with, what your adoption match preferences are and which birth mothers you would like to be presented to.  This is where a lot of adoptive families can struggle, in many ways it is like infertility, there is only so much you can control and adoption is a journey.  When you embark on a journey sometimes you don’t know where the road will lead to, adoption can have the same unknowns.  Sometimes things change on a dime, sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse.
Birth Mother Matters in Adoption Season 2, 107: Adoption in Uganda           When a crime is committed, there are ripple effects and sometimes, especially in the cases of adoption fraud, many vicitms.  Stories like the one about the agency European Adoption Consulants scare families who are interested in adopting, but know that they scare other agencies and indiviuals in the adoption field as well.  For professionals working in the adoption world, for the right reasons; for the birh paremts, the adoptees and the adoptive families, we all recognize that the actions of one agency can gove everyone elsse in the industry a black eye.  Learning about what what happened and why allows us as an agency and you as a listener learn a little bit more, becomes more educated so something like what happened in Uganda never happens again. There are many children throughout the world who are in need of parents. Economic or social issues have led to conditions in some countries where they cannot provide enough homes for their children who are in need of adoption. Building Arizona Families is dedicated to helping find adoptive families from across the United States who are ready to offer these children a safe, loving, and permanent family.   Building Arizona Families is a licensed Hague adopion agency.
Birth Mother Matters in Adoption Season 2, 106: Adoption Questions & Answers Over the past 5 decades, adoption has drastically changed and all for the better.  The option of  (for the majority of women) women being sent away to pregnancy homes to have their babies, place them for adoption and return to their own home and pretend as if their pregnancy never occurred.  Pregnant women who choose adoption are now and can be celebrated for making a beautiful choice.  Adoption doesnt have to be whispered anymore or a secret locked away.  TImes have changed in the adoption world and the adoption world is better for it.  Listen to this podcast and learn. If you are facing an unplanned pregnancy and considering adoption, a licensed adoption agency is your best option. Local licensed adoption agencies can meet with you face to face, hold your hand when needed, and can remain with you throughout your pregnancy. In addition, you can visit your case worker after placement.  Building Arizona Families is a licensed adoption agency that can walk with you every step of the way.  We would love to hear from you to find out how we can help.  You can call or text us 24/7 at 623.695-4112.
Birth Mother Matters in Adoption Season 2, Episdoe 105 : Effects of Adoption Reunification on Children of an Adult Adoptee Listen to the eldest daughter of Kelly Rourke-Scarry, Michelle discuss the impact of her mother reunifying with her biological graandmother (Kelly Rourke-Scarry's biological mother, Donna K. Evans.)  Learn about the positive impact reunification can have on more family members other than just the adoptee.  Listen to Michelle talk about the woman who made the bravest choice of adoption; what Donna K. Evans was really like, her experience with her and what she learned from her.  Learn about the impact of Michelle's relationship with her biological grandmother when they reunified.  Its raw, real and eye-opening!
Birth Mother Matters in Adoption Podcast #104: Adoption Profile Books Adoption Profile Books are a book that an adoptive family creates for the birth parents to see when choosing an adoptive family.  The Adoption Profile Books include pictures, a letter to the birth mother/birth father, and explains their lives; pets, favorite things, their house and a little about their lives.  Robyn is the Match Coordinator for Building Arizona Families and has assisted hundreds and hundreds of perspective adoptive families create their profile book.  Robyn is an Adoptive Mother herself.
Birth Mother Matters in Adoption 2 #103: Confessions of an Adoption Agency Director Here is the raw, the real and the behind the curtain information.  I have no inhibitions about discussing these issues that we are about to dive into; everything we do- we do transparently.      Is Domestic Adoption Risky? Yes, in can be.  Just as infertility may be risky or a traditional pregnancy.  Risk is an all-encompassing word and there are varying degrees.  Some adoptions may appear less risky or more risky at various stages of the adoption journey.  Some adoptions may start out as a lower type risk adoption, but circumstances in the birth parent’s lives may change, which in turn may make their adoption plan less stable.  Examples may be: their financial situation may change in a positive direction, family members may take issue with their adoption choice, or maybe they may not form a connection with their adoptive family- as they had expected.  Listen to this podcast to learn. ​
Birth Mother Matters In Adoption Season 2 #102 Living With Your Parent's Choices Join us today as we talk with John Simpson, Ron Reigns' (Simpson's) adult son discuss his thoughts and feelings about learning that his parents made an abortion choice prior to his conception.  Ron Reigns has discussed his regret over the abortion choice he nad his ex-wife made prior to John and now our listeners can hear the thoughts and feelings John has about their choice.  John is raw and candid as he shares his perspective on how thier abortion choice impacted his life.  John follows in his father's footsteps as he candidly dicusses what impact an abortion choice can have on a sibling.  The ripple effect of abortion completely becomes unveiled in this episode.
Welcome to Podcast Season 2    Episode 101 During this episode we will be taking a look back at the past year of Podcasts and a sneak peak at the look forward. Our listeners have shown a particular interest in certain topics and so we will be exploring some adoption topics in particular in more detail, from different perspectives and talking with experts in the adoption field.  We love to get feedback and hear from you! The topics that seem to be particularly of interest that we will be diving into include: AbortionAdoption Disruptions From both perspectives: Adoptive Families  & Birth MothersBeginning the Adoption Process from both perspectivesPreparing for your adoption JourneyBeing picked by a birth mother,  making an Adoption Profile BookAdoption & Abortions News Topics that we  touched on and now we are going to dive into: ICWAHearing from Birth Mothers and Adoptive FamiliesICPCLegal Experts& More!!! Join us!           Abortion Adoption Disruptions From both perspectives: APs & BMsBeginning the Adoption Process from both perspectivesPreparing for your adoption JourneyBeing picked by a birth mother,  making a profile bookAdoption & Abortions news and happenings Topics We are touched on and now we are going to dive into: ICWAHearing from Birth Mothers and Adoptive FamiliesICPCLegal ExpertsAnd so much more
Birth Mother Matters In Adoption Episode 100: The End of Era Listen to the recap of our first hundred episodes!   Celebrate with us as we reach our 100th episode!!!!!!!!!!!
Adoptive Family Case Manager on Disruptions Part 2 of of 2 This Podcast tackles the topic of Disruptions in Domestic Adoption.  We are re-visiting thi adoption topic because it is one that adoptive families have so many questions and concerns about.  Becky is an Adoptive Parent Case Manager Supervisor, the Hospital Case Manager Supervisor and case manages adoptive families herself.  She has been with Building Arizona Families for years and shares what happens when adoptions don't have a happy ending.  Being an adoptive mother herself, she is able to give personal and professional insight.  Listen as she talks about  adoptive families' grief and triumph when adoption journeys are taken.  Hear the perspective taken by someone who is not only an adoptive mother but sometimes has to deliver the worst adoption  news possible. If you are listening and you are dealing with an unplanned pregnancy and want more information about adoption, we are a local Arizona Adoption Agency.  We are available 24/7 by phone or text at (623) 695-4112.  We can make an immediate appointment with you to get started on creating an Arizona Adoption Plan or just give you more information.
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