Bitch Bible

Jackie loses sleep over Amy Bradley, gets into a fight with a girl from high school, and recalls how much simpler the early 2000’s were. And of course Melissa Wood Tepperberg’s neck brace.Thanks for supporting my sponsors:Home Chef: Get 50% off and free shipping for your first box, plus free dessert for life at www.HomeChef.com/BIBLESKIMS: Shop my favorite bras and underwear at www.SKIMS.com/bibleWayfair: Cozify your space with Wayfair’s curated collection of easy, affordable fall updates at www.Wayfair.comHers: Get a personalized, affordable plan that gets you at www.forhers.com/BIBLESee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie recounts a beautiful experience with Clyde feeling unwell, books a flight for Paris, and explains the Princess Treatment, Red Nail Theory, and Soft Goth.Thanks for supporting my sponsors:Hero Bread: Use code BIBLE at checkout to get 10% off your order at www.Hero.coHome Chef: Get 50% off and free shipping for your first box, plus free dessert for life at www.HomeChef.com/BIBLENutrafol: For a limited time, get $10 off your first month’s subscription and free shipping at www.Nutrafol.com/bibleRitual: Get 25% off your first month at www.ritual.com/BIBLEHomes.com: Everything you need to know about buying a home, all in one place at www.Homes.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie recaps the sick game Belly is playing in The Summer I Turned Pretty, discusses Clyde’s aspirations to be the next Mikhail Baryshnikov, elaborates on the perfect murder plan, and delights in her guests’ discomfort at her With Hate birthday party.Thanks for supporting my sponsors:Leesa: Get 30% off all mattresses, plus an extra $50 off with promo code BIBLE at www.Leesa.comBetterHelp: Get $10 off your first month at www.BetterHelp.com/BITCHBIBLELittle Spoon: Use code BIBLE at checkout to get 30% of your first order at www.LittleSpoon.com/BIBLEPique: Get 20% off for life, plus a free complimentary gift, when you subscribe to the Deep Hydration Protocol at www.PiqueLife.com/BIBLEHomes.com: Everything you need to know about buying a home, all in one place at www.Homes.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie sits down with living sculpture John Hill to discuss his sobriety, the most trouble he’s ever been in for something he said on the radio, a shared love of Allison Janney, and John’s additions to the With Hate, Jacqueline list.Thanks for supporting my sponsors:Honeylove: Treat yourself to 20% off your entire order at www.honeylove.com/BibleHome Chef: Get 50% off and free shipping for your first box, plus free dessert for life at www.HomeChef.com/BIBLEHers: Get a personalized, affordable plan that gets you at www.forhers.com/BIBLERitual: Get 25% off your first month at www.ritual.com/BIBLEPique: With the Deep Hydration Protocol, you’ll receive 20% off for life when you subscribe. Plus a complimentary gift to elevate your routine at www.piquelife.com/BIBLESKIMS: Shop my favorite bras and underwear at www.SKIMS.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

It's Jacqueline Taylor Schimmel-Haas' birthday, and she's been preparing for months her 2025 list of things she hates - some are broad, some are niche, but all of them are felt deeply in her soul.Thanks for supporting my sponsors:Wayfair: Get organized, refreshed, and back to routine for way less at www.Wayfair.comNutrafol: For a limited time, use code BIBLE to get $10 off your first month’s subscription and free shipping at www.Nutrafol.comSKIMS: Shop my favorite bras and underwear at www.SKIMS.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie gets her sphincter lasered, creates a fake Instagram for her husband, and has the harsh realization that she may never see Cheryl again.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie deals with a biohazard event with her drunken sorority sister Clyde, chastises the internet for its mediocrity and lack of intelligence, and does a very special Ask Me Anything.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie suspects she has been bugged by Scientology after her live show in Clearwater, discusses the real problem with Madi Prewett’s husband, and the traumatic experience of visiting a public splash pad on a weekend.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

How much does Jackie hate the beach? Let her count the ways…Jackie suggests JoJo Siwa is in desperate need of a transformational, spiritual journey to make up for the developmental damage she has accumulated as a former child star, asks Andrew what he loves most about her, and rails against frosted glass doors and the character flaws they harbor.Thanks for Supporting My Sponsors:Cornbread Hemp: Use code BITCHBIBLE at checkout to get 30% off your first order at www.CornbreadHemp.com/BITCHBIBLENutrafol: For a limited time, use code BIBLE to get $10 off your first month’s subscription at www.Nutrafol.comHero Bread: Use code JACKIE to get 10% off your order at www.hero.coLittle Spoon: Use code BIBLE to get 30% off your first order at www.LittleSpoon.com/BIBLEHomes.com: Everything you need to know about buying a home, all in one place at www.Homes.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie recaps the first leg of her Dim the Lights tour, discovers that she is brave and vulnerable, and introduces Clyde to the bright lights of show business.Thanks for supporting my sponsors!Magic Spoon: Get $5 off your next order at www.MagicSpoon.com/BITCHBIBLEWayfair: Shop outdoor furniture, grills, lawn games, and way more for way less at www.Wayfair.comPique: Get 20% off, plus a free rechargeable frother and glass beaker at www.Piquelife.com/BibleHome Chef: For a limited time, get 50% off and free shipping on your first box, plus free dessert for life at www.HomeChef.com/BIBLESKIMS: Shop my favorite bras and underwear at www.SKIMS.comHers: Start your free online visit today at www.forhers.com/BIBLESee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie deals with her Grammy nomination snub, why some funerals feel like low budge Coachella and delights with some new poetry she penned after a few cocktails of despair.Thanks for supporting my sponsors!Hungryroot: For a limited time get 40% off your first box, plus a free item in every box for life at www.Hungryroot.com/bitchbibleLittleSpoon: Get 30% off your first order at www.LittleSpoon.com/BIBLEHero Bread: Use code JACKIE at checkout to get 10% off your order at www.hero.coRitual:Get 25% off your first month at www.ritual.com/BIBLESKIMS: Shop my favorite bras and underwear at www.skims.com/bible #skimspartnerSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie is joined by Olympic figure skater Adam Rippon to discuss Chat GPT's lies, waxing mishaps, and Adam's obsession with collecting stone fruit, crystals, and life-size porcelain animals.Thanks for supporting my sponsors!Pique: Get 20% off, plus a free rechargeable frother and glass beaker at www.Piquelife.com/BibleChime: Open your account in 2 minutes at www.chime.com/JACKIEHungryroot: For a limited time get 40% off your first box, plus a free item in every box for life at www.Hungryroot.com/bitchbibleRitual: Get 25% off your first month at www.ritual.com/BIBLEHomes.com: Everything you need to know about buying a home all in one place at www.homes.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie takes up pickling, shoots up at a child’s birthday party in the park, and goes over her tour packing-list that will almost certainly get Josh searched by the TSA.Thanks for supporting my sponsors!Nutrafol: Get $10 off your first month's subscription and free shipping when you enter the promo code BIBLE at www.Nutrafol.comHomes.com: Everything you need to know about buying a house, all in one place www.Homes.comHero Bread: Use code JACKIE at checkout to get 10% off your order at www.Hero.coSKIMS: Shop my favorite bras and underwear at www.skims.com/bible #skimspartnerAddyi: Check out the FDA-approved treatment for certain premenopausal women who are bothered by low libido and want their sex drive back at www.Addyi.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie mourns the death of quiet luxury, heralded by Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sanchez’s childhood-trampoline-park-Chuck-E-Cheese style wedding invitations, grey CVS aisle carpet, and nonsensical guest list. Also, Sydney Sweeney’s collaboration with Basking Robbins - Gummy Bears!Thanks for supporting my sponsors:Pique: Nourish your body the right way. Get 20% off, plus a free rechargeable frother and glass beaker at Piquelife.com/BibleRitual: Don’t settle for less than evidence-based support. Get 25% off your first month today at www.ritual.com/BIBLEBetterHelp: Get 10% off your first month at www.BetterHelp.com/BITCHBIBLELittle Spoon: Simplify your kiddo’s mealtime with 30% off your first order at www.LittleSpoon.com/BIBLESee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie recounts a harrowing experience trying to buy candle pillars for grandma Gloria, has a religious experience with a pink canvas Bottega jacket, and regurgitates the timeless story of backdoor Rhonda.Thanks for supporting my sponsors!Pique: Nourish your body the right way. Get 20% off, plus a free rechargeable frother and glass beaker at Piquelife.com/BibleAddyi: Check out the FDA-approved treatment for certain premenopausal women who are bothered by low libido and want their sex drive back at www.Addyi.comHome Chef: For a limited time, get 50% off and free shipping for your first box, plus free dessert for life at www.HomeChef.com/BIBLESee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie addresses some public scrutiny from a recent radio appearance, discusses what Labubu represents, talks shit on Andrew for party mix, and reveals her sister's childhood sapphic inclinations.Thanks for supporting my sponsors!Leesa: Get 25% off mattresses, plus get an extra $50 off with promo code BIBLE at www.Leesa.comCornbread CBD: Use code BITCHBIBLE at checkout to save 30% on your first order at www.CornbreadHemp.com/BITCHBIBLEChime: Work on your financial goals through Chime today, and open an account in 2 minutes at www.chime.com/JACKIENutrafol: Enter code BIBLE to get $10 off your first month’s subscription and free shipping at www.Nutrafol.comAddyi: Check out the FDA-approved treatment for certain premenopausal women who are bothered by low libido and want their sex drive back at www.Addyi.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie makes her highly anticipated (not really) return and attempts to breeze into 2018 with the finesse of a young Grace Kelly. Until she is confronted with a rat mid recording and has to seek shelter, refuge, alcohol and access to basic cable. New year, same bitch.    Thanks for supporting my sponsors!Hero Bread: Use code JACKIE at checkout to get 10% off your order at www.hero.coHungryroot: For a limited time, get free shipping and 50% off your first box, plus free dessert for life at www.HomeChef.com/BIBLELittle Spoon: Use code BIBLE at checkout to get 30% off your first order at www.LittleSpoon.com/BIBLERitual: Don’t settle for less than evidence-based support. Get 25% off your first month at www.ritual.com/BIBLESee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie is solo parenting this week and explains why Andrew's use of the words "Cozy" and "Chilly" is grounds for divorce. She also gives the single best piece of advice for high-schoolers, points out the consequences of Carrie Underwood turning her back on her gay fans, and makes her stance on Labubu clear.Thanks for supporting my sponsors!Ritual: Don’t settle for less than evidence-based support. Get 25% off your first month at www.Ritual.com/BIBLEHome Chef: For a limited time, get 50% off and free shipping for your first box, plus free dessert for life at www.HomeChef.com/BIBLESKIMS: Check out the SKIMS Ultimate Bra Collection and more at www.skims.com/bibleHungryroot: For a limited time get 40% off your first box, plus a free item in every box for life at www.Hungryroot.com/bitchbibleSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie advises JLo and Sydney Sweeney to approach life from a place of 'no', gives her opinion on personalized license plates and Disney adults, and answers (and criticizes) listeners' burning questions.Dim the Lights Tickets: www.TheBitchBible.com/tourThanks for supporting my sponsors!Hero Bread: Use code JACKIE at checkout to get 10% off your order at www.Hero.coThis episode is brought to you by BetterHelp: Get 10% off your first month at www.BetterHelp.com/BITCHBIBLEAddyi: Check out the FDA-approved treatment for certain premenopausal women who are bothered by low libido and want their sex drive back at www.Addyi.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie discusses bearing the burden of other people's stupidity, her new obsession with Dianna Agron's longing for a simple life with früt, and plans her second wedding.Thanks for supporting my sponsors!Cornbread CBD: Use code BITCHBIBLE at checkout to save 30% on your first order at www.CornbreadHemp.com/BITCHBIBLELittle Spoon: Enter code BIBLE at checkout to get 30% off your first order at www.LittleSpoon.com/BIBLENutrafol: Enter code BIBLE to get $10 off your first month’s subscription and free shipping at www.Nutrafol.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.