Bride & Doom: Married At First Sight

Oh, how life has changed for the Season 6 newlyweds in the one or three weeks (depending on which source you trust) since Decision Day! All six reunite in the studio to get mildly grilled by Dr. Pepper, Dr. Jessica, and Pastor Cal -- who might be expert matchmakers (debatable), but demonstrably are not expert interviewers. Who's still sweet on each other? Who's even more salty than when we saw them last? What special surprise guests are trotted out to weigh in on what they observed about the couples when the alleged experts were getting spa treatments? And how pissed must Lifetime be that Shawniece couldn't wait one week before dropping her big news?! Join us for one last Bride & Doom podcast!Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's time for another Married At First Sight experiment to end and for this sixth batch of newlyweds to decide whether to remain in their LEGALLY BINDING MARRIAGES, or to get divorced. Jephte worries that he might never fall in love with Shawniece (which is crazy -- everyone in the viewing audience already has). Molly dutifully follows producers' prompts and makes noises about being willing to try to make things work with Jon. And Ryan tries to build suspense about his future with Jackie by ignoring her texts and yammering at her across a dinner table while she looks back at him with the contempt we all feel. Who makes the right Decision Day decisions? We discuss on the Bride & Doom podcast!Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jon having outed Molly as a verbal abuser, the big Decision Day episode is going to have to be slightly delayed so that Molly and Jon can split up for dinner with their fellow brides and grooms and break the news that their Decisions have already been made. One of them tells pretty much the whole story as we saw it in last week's episode, and one sticks to the apparently false narrative to which we've been subjected all season. Guess which is which! (Easiest guessing game ever.) The other two couples continue on in the way we'd expect: Jephte and Shawniece bicker over pointless nonsense but soon manage to laugh about it; and Ryan hears Jon's news and immediately creates a crisis in his own marriage so that he can compete with Jon for airtime and cool points, much to Jackie's confusion and dismay. Join us as we dig into it all in our latest Bride & Doom podcast!Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

As literally everyone knows, Jon and Molly are the only Season 6 newlyweds who have not had sex. Many, including your Bride & Doom co-hosts, have speculated as to exactly why that is. Does Molly have issues with intimacy? Does she find Jon too immature? Or is it, in fact, that she finds Jon "disgusting" and has told him on multiple occasions that he makes her skin crawl, and Jon has finally gotten so sick of her shit that he's recorded her on his phone -- and when Dr. Jessica comes over to check in, he busts out the clip. IT'S THE CONFRONTATION WE'VE LITERALLY BEEN WAITING ALL SEASON TO SEE. ...Jackie's still not having a great time in her marriage either, but she and Ryan are Joanne Woodward and Paul Newman by comparison. Also Jephte and Shawniece have a Dr. Pepper-assisted breakthrough and end the episode with a puppy BUT TRULY THAT'S ALL JUST FILLER AROUND MOLLY GETTING BUSTED. You must listen to the podcast as we take you through every moment of Molly's downfall.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

With Decision Day imminent, we've arrived at the point in the series where each of the couples pauses in their efforts to settle in to their normal day-to-day routines and bugger off on yet another vacation. However, first they all get sent out for dinner together, and shit gets awkward fast: Jackie mentions a trip to Florida she and Ryan had been talking about taking "if" they're still together, which leads Jon to confide to Shawniece that Molly put a similar condition on a snowboarding show for which he wanted to get tickets. Did Jackie accidentally reveal the extent of her doubts about staying married -- if not her determination not to -- and cause Jon to put Molly's pre-made decision on blast? HMMMM. Anyway, then the couples take off. Ryan drives himself and Jackie to New York in his "big truck," because there's nothing more convenient on Manhattan streets than a vehicle you have to try to park. Thrillseekers Molly and Jon go to Florida for the roller coasters, leading Molly into a pleasant (if cold) remembrance of her late father, who also loved them; and Jephte and Shawniece make for New England, where a corn maze immediately stops being a pleasant diversion and turns into an infuriating metaphor for the dangers of bad communication. We guide you through in our latest Bride & Doom podcast!Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Don't be fooled by the episode title: "Great Expectations" has nothing to do with any of the couples having children (thank god), but is just another essentially meaningless phrase that might refer to a couple of inconclusive conversations about what the newlyweds want out of marriage. Jon impresses Molly's family with his cheerful willingness to pitch in on a couple of projects at Molly's mother's house, and you know Molly relishes the chance, as Jon is painting walls, to gaze at that beautiful back. Ryan takes Jackie to dinner at his parents' house to brag about what an excellent example they've set for him with their marriage (elder Buckleys: call your lawyer) before finding new bullshit to torture Jackie with: this time, it's his refusal to give up his old apartment, at her request, in a flurry of insistence that the reason he wants to keep it definitely is not so that he has a place he can go to escape her other than every bar in Boston. Jephte and Shawniece mildly clash over his concerns about food hygiene with regard to her cooking, but by the end of the episode it seems as though exposure to Jackie's unhappiness and Ryan's assholery has convinced them that Shawniece and Jephte themselves are actually doing pretty great by comparison. We rank the couples in our latest Bride & Doom podcast!Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The network that brought you Married At First Sight -- the show where total strangers enter into LEGALLY BINDING MARRIAGES after meeting their spouses at the altar -- has come through with yet another cockamamie romance show. On Love At First Flight, couples are paired by an expert matchmaker (or so we're told). Each couple then embarks upon a trip across the continental United States, getting to know one another through deep conversations and shallow challenges. When their final flights touch down on the west coast, the couples must decide whether they're going to get married immediately. How has this offscreen expert done pairing up the various Stephanies and Michaels (seriously, in four couples there are two of each)? Your Bride & Doom co-hosts Tara Ariano and Brian Rubenstein bring the knowledge forged from six seasons of Married At First Sight to tell you everything you need to know about Love At First Flight's series premiere!Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

As time continues ticking down to Decision Day, the Married At First Sight newlyweds are supposedly "Planning For The Future," but they seem to be just as mired as ever in day-to-day concerns. Molly and Jon's issues seem to revolve around intimacy, so naturally their expert visit is from...Pastor Cal. Whatever he tells her at least gives Molly the strength to take Jon out for a pleasant birthday dinner. Jephte, who ended the last episode stomping out while refusing to let Shawniece look at his phone, talks to NO experts -- but at least his friend Antonio has sense enough to tell him to go talk to his wife. (Can Antonio replace Dr. Pepper? At least he's around!) Jackie is still not prepared to give up on getting Ryan to spend some of his limited free time with her, particularly after he goes out drinking twice in a single night when she's sick. Is he justified if he's guarding against getting too attached to someone who says she has a "gypsy soul"? Most importantly, which couple has the most impressive performance when they all meet up for the totally normal activity that is a nighttime trapeze class? We discuss on the latest Bride & Doom podcast!Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Our latest episode is supposedly about "Communication," but if that were the case, wouldn't each of the couples get a visit from an expert to talk about the issues they've each had with communication, as opposed to just Dr. Jessica meeting with just the newlywed ladies to tell them they need to focus on self-care? (This advice strikes Jon as especially tone-deaf as directed toward Molly, who in his opinion hasn't been changed by marriage at all.) Also failing to communicate are Ryan and Jackie, who still haven't arrived at a solution to the issue of his inability to stick to a schedule that includes time with her -- though he does make time for a little gay panic at a nude figure drawing class with a male model. Finally, we arrive at the moment we've all been waiting for: the couples are ordered to trade phones for an hour. Which couple will have the hardest time getting through it? Hint: the one that involves a guy who just wants to be left alone. We discuss it all in the latest Bride & Doom podcast!Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

As uncomfortable as it can be sometimes to watch the poor misguided idiots of Married At First Sightas they flail about yelling at the people they've let strangers set them up with, there's nothing like a suuuuuuuper-boring episode in which everyone pretty much gets along to make you miss the fights. The newlyweds have arrived at their "One Month Anniversaries [sic]" -- also the halfway point for the experiment -- so they're digging the tops of their wedding cakes out of the freezer, engaging in wholesome activities, and reflecting upon all the progress they've made. Jephte keeps up the inexplicable tradition of hideous Married At First Sight text art with a gift that makes Shawniece bawl in the middle of a restaurant; Molly and Jon hit up a petting zoo (?) and make pie with apples they've picked themselves; and Ryan finds the most gigantic trunk he can in which to hide a couple of gift cards for Jackie. The closest we come to conflict is Jackie's ongoing low-grade concern about how little time Ryan's been spending with her -- though given that his anniversary fun involves a mansplainy soccer lesson, we're not sure what she thinks she's missing out on. We dig in on the latest Bride & Doom podcast!Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The newlyweds have been married for three whole weeks, so the time is right for them to spice things up by discussing their fantasies. For the two couples who've actually had sex, this involves costumed foreplay -- and, we regret to inform you, about four dozen "tool" "jokes" from Ryan; for the third couple, this involves a brief flirtation with a wig, which Jon takes as a definite sign that Molly is starting to warm to him. We discuss whose fantasies are the cutest, where is the best place to set up a home stripper pole, and SERIOUSLY WHAT MOLLY'S PROBLEM IS in our latest podcast!Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Now that all the couples are cohabitating in their temporary new homes, it's time for (the producers to tell) them to throw housewarming parties and invite all their loved ones! Things go well/boringly for Ryan and Jackie, and much better for Jephte and Shawniece than we would have guessed last week, what with their relationship having reached a major milestone. (Jephte is capable of change. Who knew?) Unfortunately, Molly and Jon's get-together is a little more uncomfortable, with his friends urging them to start boning and Molly's defending her for wanting to make friends with Jon first. However, unlike all the other newlyweds, Jon -- who's still unemployed -- isn't keeping his old place, so this kind of has to work out for him in a way that it doesn't for everyone else, which is why it's too bad Molly is putting the brakes on their physical relationship, causing Jon to doubt whether she's as committed to him as he is to her. We discuss it all in our latest Bride & Doom podcast!Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The time has come for the newlyweds to depart Jamaica and figure out what "normal life" is going to look like for them as they embark upon the two remaining months of the experiment. After an uncomfortable conversation about his irritating mannerisms, Jon seems to have taken in Molly's critiques and adjusted his man-childish behaviour because now she is into him in a big way. Jackie's decision to pack up her apartment starting with a storage room full of her dead boyfriend's things proves disastrous; can Ryan rise to the occasion and support her? Finally, Jephte "I'm Your Husband And I'm In It For The Long Haul" Pierre careens from excitement about his theoretical future with Shawniece to horror at her touch, as Shawniece wonders what she did to deserve the punishment of marriage to him. We discuss it all in the latest Bride & Doom podcast!Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

With the honeymoons winding down, the newlyweds have gotten to know each other well after several days together and are preparing to return to Boston united as couples and confident about the couples...or so you might think! In fact, familiarity has bred contempt. Jackie is beginning to tire of Ryan's oppressive positivity. Molly waits until she and her new husband are on a videochat check-in with Dr. Jessica to say she finds his twelve-year-old boy energy a turnoff, sexually -- having never actually told him that any of his mannerisms are annoying. But Shawniece would probably trade places with either of the other women (especially Molly, if Brian's read is right): Jephte has apparently spent their time in Jamaica innovating ways to withhold affection. Which couple's honeymoon has been sweetest, and which would have probably stuck their faces in a beehive? We break it down in our latest Bride & Doom podcast!Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Our first installment of the newlyweds' honeymoons takes us back to familiar ground: adventuresome sporting events, in or near water; decadent meals; talk of sex. We also embark on new territory as all three couples meet up for a stand-up paddleboard lesson, and to compare notes on how their relationships are going thus far. Jackie opens the door for a discussion about her dead boyfriend, but an oblivious Ryan declines to go through it; and Jephte makes it clear not only that he still thinks of Shawniece as a stranger, but that he also has little interest in getting to know her anyway. Jon is determined to find out whether he and Molly are "winning" at marriage -- do your co-hosts think so? Listen to our latest podcast and find out!Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Married At First Sight takes us to the newlyweds' wedding nights and morning-after brunch, which means it's time to guess at their likely longevity as couples based on their instant attraction. Ryan and Jackie seem to be following the standard script even for non-at first sight marriages IF YOU KNOW WHAT WE MEAN; Molly and Jon claim not to have rounded all the bases, though your hosts are divided as to how trustworthy their testimony may actually be; and Jephte and Shawniece are having a hard time because Jephte is seriously hung up on the notion that Shawniece is both his wife and a stranger, and Shawniece is pretty upset about it. This week's Bride & Doom podcast goes great with a pre-honeymoon brunch!Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Married At First Sight's sixth season chugs along right on schedule, with the selected singles meeting for the very first time at the altar. Ryan is...instantly in love with Jackie to a degree that should probably worry them both? Jonathan and Molly clearly want to blow off the reception to bone. And when Jephte's mother Laura rises to interrupt before the ceremony's even begun, is it with an interjection that will please the betrothed couple and their guests? (Given that it was teased so much in the promos, you probably already assumed that it's fine.) We discuss all these big-hearted, adventurous people of strong character -- according to their loved ones, anyway -- on our latest podcast!Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

America's favourite social experiment is BACK! This time, the experts find out how hard the dating scene is for singles in Boston, and manage not to reply that this is what singles say literally everywhere they go. At the end of the Matchmaking Special, we follow the six lucky test subjects as they inform their families that they've agreed to humiliate themselves on TV; shop for dresses and rings; and then gather all their loved ones to watch as they prepare to meet their spouses for the first time. Do any of the couples seem like they might make it? What do we think of this new expert? And how much do we miss Nate? We discuss it all in our season premiere of the Bride & Doom podcast!Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The experts reunite with the couples they matched to find out which, if any, actually stuck. Who's happy and who's faking it?Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The couples of Season 5 decide whether to stay married; Brian and Tara discuss who chose wrong.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices