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Massive failures, Rufus & Howard, are working as entertainers on a cruise ship - a cruise ship which definitely isn't experiencing an outbreak of sausage virus. Don't worry, everyone. It's all going to be fine...
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Ten years ago, Young(ish) Howard began writing a novel about a subject he knows well - life for rich people in the 1930s. Now we get to read his thrilling tale of witchcraft, murder, and stalking - and meet George Spooner: the parvenu with nowt to do.
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Friday February 27th 2026 - Galton and Simpson. Rich and Ally are back for the last Newsround of February and it's a story the lame stream media won't touch, last night's by-election. Is this a vindication of Keir Starmer's right wing policies. With an exclusive interview with the current Prime Minister (at time of recording) plus in depth political analysis from Ally Sloper. This is the only independent news source you can choose. We are delighted that the Greens won.
Henrietta has to retrieve The Complete History (and Fistory) of Underspace from the most terrifying man she's ever seen - before he finishes pickling his own head.
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February 26th 2026 - Quality Sperm. Rich and Ally are back talking about what month of the year sperm is at its friskiest. The lame stream media don't dare touch stuff like this. Unlike the scientists who put together these reports.
Wednesday 25th February 2026 - State of the Galactic Union. President Trump has done the longest State of the Union ever and Rich and Ally are here to fact check his claims. A special report suggests the whole world is in the best shape ever, which will be a great relief to us all, as long as we don't look out the window.
Tuesday 24th February 2026 - Worse Than Bin Laden. Having missed the scoop of the millennium, Newsround is back in a 30 degree studio to look at the story of the arrests of Mandleson and some other guy whose name keeps changing. With special correspondent reporting from Sandringham, waiting for a massage. Usual rubbish. Spread the word.
Who is Kid Stimbulleen? Why is he lying about Tree Pigs? And why does his head smell of vinegar?
And who would win in a race between a chicken... and a car?
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19th February 2026 - I'm Not Going To Take It Any More. Rich is away on holiday but Ally is here to reveal some harsh truths to his young audience. Not suitable for children, though all children should listen and rebel.
18th February 2026 - Did Craven Do It In His Pants? Rich and Ally are back with today's newsround all about dancing Chinese robots and if scientists are wasting their time. There's a special guest in to discuss this and also some upsetting stuff about Rich and Ally's past. Trigger warning for anyone who has been touched by a puppet.
Tuesday 17th February - Pikachu. Rich and Ally are back to give you all the main stories and whilst some news outlets might be giving solemn obituaries for the great Jesse Jackson, our team have uncovered news of a very expensive Pokemon card, which Rich feels might not be worth the price tag, which I think we can all agree is the story of the day. Has all his (and your) suffering for his art been worth it? Plus we go to the (poke)man himself to find out how he feels about the whole thing in yet another exclusive interview which blows the case wide open.
February 16th 2026 - Area 51. Rich and Ally are back with all the news that's fit to talk about in a puppet based Newsround. Today Barack Obama has revealed that he thinks there are aliens, but have they already visited earth? And what do they look like? Is it even possible for them to get this far? With a report LIVE from Area 51 in America somewhere.
We invited a guest onto our show - comedian, writer, presenter & all-round wonderful person: Bec Hill!
Foolishly, we let her choose the movie we talked about.
She chose Batman & Robin (1997).
Follow Bec: https://www.instagram.com/bechillcomedian/
See Bec live: https://www.bechillcomedian.com/
Watch Bec's snakes video: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/aNbzjwfpIfU
More episodes:
https://www.comedy.co.uk/podcasts/worst_writer/
12th February 2026 - Tomato Sauce Science. Rich and Ally are back with some of your comments about the new titles. Well suck it. They discuss new evidence that suggests the Turin Shroud may not be really the shroud of Christ, for all those of you who thought this was wrapped up (no pun intended) already. Do we need evidence to believe in Jesus and isn't it more important to follow his philosophy? Is St John a liar? Has Ally confused Jesus with Pinocchio? And is Jesus back now, saying wise things? Maybe on a short YouTube video, rather than a mount.
Wednesday 11th February 2026 - 20-Year-Old Ejaculate. Newsround is back after yesterday's hiatus when no news happened, but the grown-up news has missed today's big story, an interview with tech entrepreneur Bryan Johnson the man who intends to live forever by going to bed at 8.30pm every night. Just like John Craven in the original Newsround, Rich displays his jealousy of a younger man's ability to produce gametes, whilst Ally warns of the dangers of eternal life. Exactly like John Craven's Newsround. Which this is nothing like. Look out for the new titles too. Thanks Andy Bobbin.
Monday 9th February - Penisgate. Rich and Ally are back after their deserved weekend break with all the news that's fit to talk about. Today it's the big controversy at the Winter Olympics, wherever that is, and the lengths and widths that male ski jumpers are prepared to go to to win. But is the real story perverted cock-obsessed journalists, which Rich and Ally definitely aren't? With a live report from the slopes of the Olympics.
Friday 6th February 2026 - Chinese Hotel Sex Cameras. Newsround is back, despite Rich spending most of the day waiting for his car to be fixed. Ally and he discuss "Eric", the most hypocritical man in the news at the moment, who was shocked to see he'd been caught on a Chinese Sex Camera, but only because he loved watching videos of people caught on Chinese sex cameras. Who will be caught on the Newsround Sex Camera? Tune in to find out.
After Grett is kidnapped by wild forest children, Henrietta and Dagenham follow them to an abandoned village, and a mysterious pig school.
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Thursday February 5th 2026 - Peanut Pile. After the success of getting Randrew Andrew kicked out of his house, the Newsround team turn their attention to the Prime Minister, whether he can survive and how good a job he is doing. Once again we beat the Lamestream media to a huge exclusive, which you can only get by watching our Craven Newsround.
RAACN Tuesday February 3rd 2026 - Eggheads Are People Too. After the explosive interview over the weekend, a regular newsround returns examining the recent statements by FIFA President Gianni Infantino and why he should be judged by his deeds and words and not by his appearance. We have a special interview with a fellow egg-headed celebrity to show just how far egghead prejudice can reach and hopefully help open people’s eyes to this derided condition.





















