CRAP NOIR

We are CRAP NOIR – a podcast team dedicated to bringing you some subpar jokes along with a moderately funny twist on the classic noir genre and detective radio shows of years past. Beth is a downtrodden twenty-something – completely SHOCKED that no one wants to hire her with her oddly specific and definitely legitimate Master’s degree in Detective Literature. She spends her time searching Craiglist for jobs that require her highly-sought-after expertise, thanks to the free WiFi at local New Jersey coffee shop, The Big Steam. She bugs her favorite mediocre barista, Jim Jam, for hours on end so her mother believes she isn’t an unemployable failure. Luckily for Beth, her first case finally emerges when friendly farm chicken, Esmeralda, disappears. Time to see if Beth’s degree holds up in the real-world! Follow us on Twitter, Tumblr, and Instagram @crapnoir

Ep 1. The Poultry Prologue

Send us a text Beth discovers her first case as we discover her mediocre, unremarkable life.

02-12
10:36

Ep 2. The Poultry Plot Twist

Send us a text Beth faces off against a rival detective in the search for a missing chicken.

04-25
28:23

Blooper Track: Episode 1

Send us a text A look at what's really happening around the microphone.

05-01
09:13

The Big Steam (CRAP NOIR Extra)

Send us a text The Big Steam on Route 12 -- What can we brew for you?

06-14
01:18

Ep 3. Company's Coming

Send us a text Beth's Pa and sister arrive unexpectedly. Beth evades birthday celebrations and sees Charlie about a new case.

01-31
41:33

Blooper Track: Episode 2

Send us a text Take a listen behind the scenes of episode 2, back when the team was able to huddle around the same microphone.

02-16
23:05

Snappy Solvers (CRAP NOIR Extra)

Send us a text For the best rates in town when you need things found, call Johnnie Craquerbarrle! *Snappy Solvers is a subsidiary of Craquerbarrle Crime Cracking, Inc. (CCC).

03-28
01:30

Betty Belter's New EP (CRAP NOIR Extra)

Send us a text Hear the debut single from Betty Belter's new EP, "Bellowing with Betty Belter" at Indie Lounge's Open Mic Night! (We'd like to take a moment to blame high maintenance musicians for the delay of our next episode... sigh... --Barry)

06-01
02:09

Olsen Farm (CRAP NOIR Extra)

Send us a text Do you hear that? Olsen Farm's fresh produce and friendly animal residents are calling you!

10-10
01:27

Happy Thanksgiving from CRAP NOIR!

Send us a text We interrupt this podcast for a brief message from our writer.

11-25
02:25

Trailer: Ep 4. Coverless Concerto (CRAP NOIR Extra)

Send us a text An intriguing teaser trailer for the long-awaited fourth chapter of CRAP NOIR.

01-13
01:11

Ep 4. Coverless Concerto

Send us a text Beth tries to remedy a snafu in Charlie's case, even when it leads her to a hot spot she'd rather avoid.

02-02
45:00

Blooper Track: Episode 3

Send us a text Listen behind the scenes of the first of two virtual episodes that the team recorded during the onset of the pandemic.

03-28
14:27

Ep 5. A Fruitless Flashback

Send us a text At a loss of how to help with Eliza's case, Johnnie looks to Jim Jam for advice.

04-22
17:16

Blooper Track: Episode 4

Send us a text Take a listen behind the scenes of the second virtual episode recorded at the onset of the pandemic.

07-08
20:33

Ep 6. A(u)nticipation

Send us a text Beth looks for leads surrounding her sister's disappearance; though, new arrivals may make matters more messy.

08-19
28:29

Blooper Track: Episode 5

Send us a text Pull up a seat as the team records Ep. 5: A Fruitless Flashback.

04-29
18:19

Ep 7. Goatastrophe

Send us a text Beth follows a lead on Johnnie but not without baaaad consequences.

05-26
30:58

CRAP Extra: Puffy Coat Blues

Send us a text Welcome to the post-holiday slump! Shake off those winter blues with this classic from the Steely Mans!

01-01
02:35

Recommend Channels