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CULTS CULTS CULTS

Author: LaRue & Randolf

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Two Friends. Current Trends. Extreme Religions. Tune into LaRue & Randolf's latest comedy podcast where they discuss insane cults and extreme religions, all while working through their own religious trauma.
22 Episodes
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Apologies in advanced for what is about to happen in this episode. Buckle up for part 1 of HAYLOR HAYLOR HAYLOR! The definitely-a-cult tale of the whirlwind romance or Taylor Swift and Harry Styles. In this introductory episode, LaRue divulges the first year of the HAYLOR HAYLOR HAYLOR timeline through the use of tweets, sound bites, and dropping her mic on the computer. SEE YOU IN HELL! 
WHO'S READY FOR HOT SOUL SUMMER???? Not us, because it's miserably hot in Atlanta... Welcome back to another CULTS ABRIDGED! How long did we say this miniseries would last? We lied- it's still going. Surprise! In this episode it's Randolf's turn to get into our next cult, and boy is it bonkers. But first, we get to hear more crazy shit about everyone's (least) favorite reality television family, the Duggars! Also, be sure to listen carefully to hear about the new kitchen gadget sweeping the nation- it takes up less counter space than your average coffee mug! SEE YOU IN HELL!!!Have a cults or extreme religion to share? Write us about it at cultspodcast@gmail.comWant more cults?? Become a Patron Saint of Cults Cults Cults for tons of bonus material and perks. https://www.patreon.com/cultspodcastSponsors: Pulling Daisies Esthetician and Waxing - www.pullingdaisies.coThousand Fell Sneakies - ww.thousandfell.com
Happy Pride!!! Who doesn't love glitter and mummified remains!? Well if you do, then this is the cult for you! Listen in as LaRue and Randolf discover BOTH of their births were accidental, and as we once again discuss Taylor Swift in our official revival of TAYLOR TAYLOR TAYLOR, a part of the CULTS CULTS CULTS podcast. Then we get into the most current cult to date... literally this happened like 2 months ago.Have a cults or extreme religion to share? Write us about it at cultspodcast@gmail.comWant more cults?? Become a Patron Saint of Cults Cults Cults for tons of bonus material and perks. https://www.patreon.com/cultspodcastSponsors: Pulling Daisies Esthetician and Waxing - www.pullingdaisies.coThousand Fell Sneakies - ww.thousandfell.com
LISTENER TESTIMONIES EP 5

LISTENER TESTIMONIES EP 5

2021-06-2901:09:31

WE ARE BACK!!! Are you still there? We hope so because this Listener Episode is absolutely BONKERS. First, we need catch up, because it has been a while since we've been in the studio y'all- because of post pandemic travel, we haven't been able to record, but now the dream team is BACK! As always, LaRue and Randolph get into some crazy Christian news headlines, featuring everyone's favorite, hip new song "Modest is Hottest". After that, wanna learn some shit about Sharks??? Apparently sharks migrate through the Florida panhandle, something that Randolf found out the hard way as he recounts in this episode's Ugh Jesus Christ. Then we slither our way into TONY HAWK PRO LONGFORM as LaRue tells a story that is just way too close to home. Seriously, the call is coming from inside the house. Have a cults or extreme religion to share? Write us about it at cultspodcast@gmail.comWant more cults?? Become a Patron Saint of Cults Cults Cults for tons of bonus material and perks. https://www.patreon.com/cultspodcastSponsors: Pulling Daisies Esthetician and Waxing - www.pullingdaisies.coThousand Fell Sneakies - ww.thousandfell.com
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNDDDDDDDDDD..... WE ARE BACK! Sorry... we took a week off because vacation, Memorial Day, and Randolf left the hard drive 300 miles away from where he was... but that is OKAY! You missed us, right? Yeah? Please say something. This week on CCCAFWPOTG we have truly special BOGO deal for ya, as Randolf presents us with two cults- one fictional and the other one we wish was fictional! But, before that, we completely forget what we are following this week and spiral into existential crisis! Don't worry, we find our way back. Have a cults or extreme religion to share? Write us about it at cultspodcast@gmail.comWant more cults?? Become a Patron Saint of Cults Cults Cults for tons of bonus material and perks. https://www.patreon.com/cultspodcastSponsor: Pulling Daisies Esthetician and Waxing - www.pullingdaisies.co
LISTENER TESTIMONIES EP 4

LISTENER TESTIMONIES EP 4

2021-05-1701:01:01

This episode contains a trigger warning for Child Abuse, Sexual Abuse,Molestation, and R*pe.WELCOME BACK to CULTS CULTS CULTS Listener Testimonies! THIS WEEK IN JESUS (insert typewriter and news headline music) we cover a truly disturbing, but current topic, Josh Duggar. Then we take a break and then everything is good, right? It's all good... IT'S FINE!  We move on to hard hitting updates like:  Are aliens real? Does LaRue's dad have a bunker under a castle in the backyard? WHAT ABOUT THE NAME BRAND GREEN BEANS!? Randolf then moves into a truly iconic UGH JESUS CHRIST, and last but certainly not least we hear a couple long-form stories from LaRue and our favorite Cults Correspondent, Adam! Have a cults or extreme religion to share? Write us about it at cultspodcast@gmail.comWant more cults?? Become a Patron Saint of Cults Cults Cults for tons of bonus material and perks. https://www.patreon.com/cultspodcastSponsor: Pulling Daisies Esthetician and Waxing - www.pullingdaisies.co
WHOA, WAIT A BONUS MINI EPISODE!?!?!  In this mini bonus episode, STRAP IN for Randolf's interview with a student from his alma-mater where Randolf discusses how he's not using his degree, the meaning of LaRue's name, and how CULTS CULTS CULTS came to be! Have a cults or extreme religion to share? Write us about it at cultspodcast@gmail.comWant more cults?? Become a Patron Saint of Cults Cults Cults for tons of bonus material and perks. https://www.patreon.com/cultspodcast
Oh hello, future patrons! This week we decided to mix things up and share with you one of the great perks of becoming a Patron Saint of Cults Cults Cults: access to the LaRue Surprise Show! Buckle up as we play a game created by LaRue and Deli called... A Chance in Vegetables, in which Randolf has to guess if lyrics come from VeggieTales or Chance the Rapper. It's harder than you might think! SEE YOU IN HELL! Want more LaRue Surprise Show (and other fun perks?!) Join our patreon at www.patreon.com/cultspodcast
Easter? I hardly know her! Welcome to the third but certainly not final listener testimony episode in which Randolf introduces a new segment called MEME HAS RISEN in which he finds fun Christian memes on www.instagram.com. THEN LaRue and Randolf bust into THIS WEEK IN JESUS in which the singing gets even more out of control than usual and LaRue gets stressed out. And thennn Randolf covers the controversial but very true fact in UGH JESUS CHRIST that you can't get to heaven with your hands full of penis. AND THEN FINALLY, LaRue reads us some longform stories in her segment "The Untitled Longform Segment uhhh Tony Hawk Pro Longform Stories" in which Loaf interrupts and LaRue reads a tale written in by our new favorite correspondent, Adam, about how he didn't actually meet Westboro Baptist Church but he almost did, and isn't that enough? Need a drinking game? Reread these show notes and drink every time you read "in which." SEE YOU IN HELL! Want more cults?? Become a Patron Saint of Cults Cults Cults for tons of bonus material and perks. https://www.patreon.com/cultspodcast
WELCOME TO THE SHIT SHOW. On this, the 8th episode of Cults Cults Cults, LaRue and Randolf embark on a journey to discover if this is even an episode of Cults Cults Cults. Is it a listener testimony? Is it an episode? Does LaRue even have her This Week In Jesus picked out yet? No one has any clue. But what they do know is... they wrote a terrible Taylor Swift themed musical in college that is now... for some reason... the opening for their very successful cult podcast. Then, out of seemingly and also literally nowhere, we have a new surprise segment A SPECIAL MESSAGE FROM DELI, in which the podcast goes so off the rails that LaRue literally gives her mic to Deli to learn about a dream he had the night before. After all that nonsense is over... Randolf wins at Rock, Paper, Scissors, LaRue quits the podcast for the third time, and then it's time to CRACK INTO SOME CULTS. First, because he won Rock, Paper, Scissors, Randolf discusses The Fourth Way cult, a cult that has everything: vodka, thespians, more vodka.... and then LaRue cracks into the cult of coworking... The Cult of We... the cult of WeWork. It's a wild time.  SEE YOU IN HELL!Have a cult or extreme religion story to share? Write us about it at cultspodcast@gmail.comSKIP AHEAD:A Special Message From Deli: (15:45)The Fourth Way: (45:40)The Cult of We: (1:33:31)Want more cults?? Become a Patron Saint of Cults Cults Cults for tons of bonus material and perks. https://www.patreon.com/cultspodcast
Serious trigger warning for the Ant Hill Kids Story: The Ant Hill Kids segment features descriptions of violence, gore, murder, and child abuse. Listening discretion is extra advised. We will not be upset if you skip it. LaRue is planning on skipping it.Annnd now we are back to being a fun Cults podcast! Buckle up while we discuss... you guessed it, Taylor Swift! It's not the first time, and it sure as hell won't be the last time. Then... for the first time in the Cults Cults Cults cinematic universe.. Randolf wins at Rock Paper Scissors! And thank god. Because his cult, The Ant Hill Kids, is A JOURNEY. Like we said above... feel free to skip it. Then, LaRue gives a nice pallet cleanser by talking about the Amish! They are an extreme religion we all know and love (?), but LaRue will tell you some fun Amish facts you might have never heard before. It's just a nice time, okay? Skip Ahead:The Ant Hill Kids (38:49)The Amish (56:34) Want more cults?? Become a Patron Saint of Cults Cults Cults for tons of bonus material and perks. https://www.patreon.com/cultspodcast
You always win when you're playing with yourself. Welcome to the 6th episode of CULTS CULTS CULTS, or should we say COCKS COCKS COCKS? In this blessed episode of our wonderful podcast, we discuss sports (hilarious), our past lives at sports writers (even more hilarious), and how Randolf was a March Madness savant in high school. Then we move on to important topics including LaRue and Kiki being adults, LaRue and Randolf being on the local news, and the boat stuck in the Suez. Aren't you glad you listen to this podcast? Then it's time to CRACK INTO SOME CULTS! First, because she's incredible at Rock, Paper, Scissors, LaRue covers Westboro Baptist Church, which has more ties to the their own religious upbringing than anyone cared to know. Then, Randolf covers the underwear sharing Jesus Army, a cult that just keeps getting creepier but would have also been welcome at our church camp. SKIP AHEAD: Westboro Baptist: (42:30)The Jesus Army: (1:26:00)Have a cults or extreme religion to share? Write us about it at cultspodcast@gmail.comWant more cults?? Become a Patron Saint of Cults Cults Cults for tons of bonus material and perks. https://www.patreon.com/cultspodcast
Buckle up for what is truly the BEST EPISODE OF CULTS CULTS CULTS IN ALL OF HISTORY. (Do we say that every week? Almost? But this time it's real.) This episode features everything you love about Cults Cults Cults but times it by a thousand. We've got a Jon Ossoff update. We've got the inside scoop on the latest career trend: typing on a computer. We've got pickled beets. And. For the first time in Cults Cults Cults history, we have a special guest star, Randolf's mom, Terri. Does she know she's a special guest star? No. Is that important? Who keeps asking all of these questions? Then it's time to CRACK INTO SOME CULTS! First, LaRue fills us in on a cult that truly shows us the power of plastic surgery and being pretty: The Family. Then... Randolf takes us to a galaxy far far away to tell us about... The Sith. It's a cult, we promise. Need a drinking game? Drink every time LaRue starts hyperventilating into the mic and asking Randolf why he is ruining her podcast. Or drink every time it is evident that LaRue and Randolf know nothing about Star Wars. Trigger Warning: This episode contains mention of child abuse and kidnapping. Skip Ahead:The Family (43:36)The Sith (1:08:00)Want more cults?? Become a Patron Saint of Cults Cults Cults for tons of bonus material and perks. https://www.patreon.com/cultspodcast
Did you know that Jesus had tattoos? Welcome to LaRue and Randolf's second listener testimonies episode, an episode for listeners by listeners. On this episode of Tony Hawk Pro Extreme Religion, LaRue and Randolf present our second round of This Week in Jesus in which Randolf reads letter from LaRue and Randolf's past and LaRue shares the link between two of our favorite things: Scientology and Neopets. Then in UGH! Jesus Christ! Randolf tells us all about how brown cows eating green grass and producing white milk is all the evidence we need for Jesus. It's an argument so good, we all convert back to Christianity and LaRue and Randolf get married. Sorry, Kiki and Deli.And finally, LaRue delivers some SPOOKY OOKY tales written in by some of our favorite listeners. SEE YOU IN HELL!Want more cults?? Become a Patron Saint of Cults Cults Cults for tons of bonus material and perks. https://www.patreon.com/cultspodcast
How do we know that God created the world during a baseball game? How do we know that all LaRue wants to do in The Sims is make babies? Is it because she tells us 15 times in this episode? Join LaRue and Randolf for their fourth cults episode in which they talk about getting into Tik Tok beef with evangelicals, chinchillas, Jon Ossoff, and Kiki's Pictionary skills before CRACKING INTO SOME CULTS. First, LaRue tells us about The Way International, yet another cult created to solve a white man's problems. Then, FOR THE FIRST TIME IN CULTS CULTS CULTS HISTORY Randolf tells us about a cult we actually consider joining, Bruno Groning and His Circle of Friends. Skip AheadThe Way International (41:58)Bruno Groning and His Circle of Friends (1:12:00)More Links: Round Bois: ChinChilling With Biscuit and Bandithttps://www.twitch.tv/roundboisWant more cults?? Become a Patron Saint of Cults Cults Cults for tons of bonus material and perks. https://www.patreon.com/cultspodcast
In this episode of CULTS CULTS CULTS, Randolf visits LaRue's (almost) alma mater, LaRue recounts when their church was (almost) bombed, and then... a LaRue and Randolf exclusive: Silent Golf DIVULGED. Learn what the boys were doing at church camp while the girls were discussing their future husbands.  Then it's time to CRACK INTO SOME CULTS! First, LaRue tells us the harrowing tale of the orgasmic OneTaste Cult before Randolf tells us about THE COZIEST CULT TO DATE, The Pana-Wave Laboratory. We love you, Tama-Chan. SEE YOU IN HELL!Trigger Warning: Sexual assault and eating disorders. Skip Ahead:OneTaste Cult (45:26)The Pana-Wave Laboratory (1:08:16)Our Followings:The BMI is Stupid and Racist:https://www.huffpost.com/entry/bmi-scale-racist-health_l_5f15a8a8c5b6d14c336a43b0Eating Disorder Resources: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/help-supportKathryn Hahn, we love you: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kathryn_HahnWant more cults?? Become a Patron Saint of Cults Cults Cults for tons of bonus material and perks. https://www.patreon.com/cultspodcast
CAN I GET A WITNESS? Join LaRue and Randolf for their first listener testimonies episode as they read real cult and extreme religion stories from real listeners. This episode's This Week in Jesus, brought to you by too much sangria, covers a mysteriously damp statue of Jesus and some real bullshit homophobia going on at a Christian elementary school in Oklahoma. Is the Jesus statue spewing holy water? Is the Christian school going to stop being the way it is? Nope!  Then in UGH! Jesus Christ! LaRue and Randolf learn what listeners were told in their culty pasts as well as what LaRue might still think about dinosaurs. Special shoutout to our girl Katie for contributing lots of fun tales to this episode. Follow her ex-Christian-now-very-gay adventures at @ex_goodgirl in Instagram. 
This episode comes with a trigger warning for pedophilia, rape, and suicide. Donald Glover was right. This IS America. Buckle up for Episode Two of CULTS CULTS CULTS in which Delly hosts a Rock, Paper, Scissors tournament, LaRue and Randolf out themselves as diehard Swifties, and LaRue recounts the time she brought Randolf to Jesus at a revival. And no CULTS CULTS CULTS podcast would be complete without yet another harrowing tale from the community college dinner theater before CRACKING INTO SOME CULTS. First, LaRue gives us a silverware history lesson about the cutlery (more like cultery) making Oneida Community. Then get your applesauce ready as Randolf digs into the Heaven’s Gate Cult and shares some details that will make you SHIT YOUR PANTS. See you in hell! Need a good drinking game? Drink every time LaRue says “as an aside” or whenever having something in your mouth in mentioned.Want to share your extreme religion experience with us? Write to us at cultspodcast@gmail.comJump ahead:The Oneida Community: (35:00)Heaven’s Gate: (1:17:00)Our followings from this week:WhitePeopleHumor:https://www.instagram.com/whitepeoplehumor Taylor Swift’s “Fearless- Taylor’s Version”:https://store.taylorswift.com/products/fearless-taylors-version-cdMore Resources:Terry Ho’s Yum Yum Sauce:https://www.terryhosauce.com/saucesOneida Silverware:https://www.oneida.com/flatware.html#Heaven’s Gate Cult Website (HALE-BOPP!)https://www.heavensgate.com/Want more cults?? Become a Patron Saint of Cults Cults Cults for tons of bonus material and perks. https://www.patreon.com/cultspodcast
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