Can We Talk About This?

We end season 4 with a BIG one! In this episode, I have the absolute privilege of chatting to Dr. Rosie, a clinical psychologist and founder of The Birth Healing Collective, to discuss the difficult yet common experience of birthing again after birth trauma. Dr. Rosie shares her expertise on how women can heal from a traumatic birth, rebuild trust in their bodies, and prepare emotionally, socially and practically for their next birth experience. We dive into practical strategies for managing fear and anxiety, the importance of a trauma-informed birth plan, and the crucial role partners play in the healing and birthing process. Whether you’ve experienced birth trauma firsthand or are supporting someone who has, this episode is packed with empowering advice to help navigate the journey towards a positive and empowering birth! I am often asked "how do you have another baby after trauma?" and this episode is designed to address the nuance that comes with birthing again after trauma. Make sure you check out Dr Rosie's resources below and thank you for listening!   Resources: The Birth Healing Collective and working with Dr Rosie: https://thebirthhealingcollective.com/   Dr Rosie's epic Better Birth Program: https://thebirthhealingcollective.com/better-birth/   Follow Dr Rosie @birth_healing_collective AND dr_rosie_psychologist    Other supports: birthtrauma.org.au panda.org.au    See you in season 5!   Disclaimer: This episode is intended for informational and educational purposes only. Please seek personalised, professional support and guidance for your upcoming birth. 

Elly Taylor, an experienced relationship counsellor and perinatal researcher, shares her insights on why 92% of parents experience increased conflict and why 67% feel less happy in their relationships during the first year of parenthood. With over 25 years experience, Elly combines her extensive knowledge, insight, and personal journey to create a world-first relationship-developmental framework for couples and now trains professionals using this needed framework. In this episode, Elly offers actionable advice for couples navigating the tumultuous early years of parenting.  We explore the surprising truths about relationship changes after having children, the common struggles couples encounter, and how to reconnect and grow stronger together. Elly addresses the emotional rollercoaster that comes with new parenthood, talking about everything from socio-cultural difficulties, disconnection, expectations, transition differences between men and women, mental health, intimacy challenges and just so much more. Whether you're a new parent or preparing for parenthood, this episode is packed with wisdom and support from one of the leading experts in the field. Don't miss out on this invaluable episode with Elly Taylor!    For more resources and support: Buy Becoming Us: The Couples Guide to Parenthood book: https://becomingusfamily.com/the-book Get support for your relationship: https://becomingusfamily.com/parenthood Becoming Us Counsellor Directory: https://becomingusfamily.com/meet-our-facilitators For professionals working with couples: https://becomingusfamily.com/preparing-parents-for-parenthood Becoming Me Again (for mothers): https://becoming-us-training.thinkific.com/courses/becoming-me-again

#birthtraumaawareness Amber Melissa Kennedy, a two-time preeclampsia survivor, opens up about her traumatic experiences with preeclampsia, HELLP Syndrome, and a rare epidural complication during childbirth. Amber shares about her pregnancies, labour and early postpartum experiences, including being sent home from the ER with severe preeclampsia. Amber reflects on that time with much anguish and speaks to the impact it had on her mental health, and shares about the fire in her to advocate for change. I also love that she wrote to her healthcare providers making them aware of the impact (good and bad) they had on her during her birth experience! Together we discuss the various current birth narratives that are harmful to women and hope for a better future for maternal healthcare everywhere.    It's important to know the signs for preeclampsia and HELLP syndrome as early detection can prevent the conditions from worsening.   For more information about HELLP syndrome and preeclampsia, please check out The Preeclampsia Foundation: https://www.preeclampsia.org/   If you have experienced birth trauma please consider seeking support with a perinatal therapist, or reaching out to organisations: birthtrauma.org.au (Australia) panda.org.au (Australia) cope.org.au (Australia) postpartum.net (International)   You can find Amber here: @daughtersoflucina  

In this episode, Amber-lee, your host, sits down with Ebony, a young mother from Brisbane, as she shares her journey living with Epilepsy and Charcot-Marie-Tooth disease (CMT), which is a group of inherited disorders that cause nerve damage. Ebony opens up about her diagnoses, the impact of these conditions on her young life and current life, and the emotional rollercoaster of discovering her son Flynn has inherited CMT sharing the early signs of the condition to the supportive interventions that have helped him thrive. Ebony shares the challenges specifically living with epilepsy and the many unknowns in her life. This episode sheds light on the realities of living with a disability and raising a child with a genetic condition and the importance of support, education, and understanding in navigating these challenges. Ebony shares her reflections on resilience, acceptance, and advocacy and it was a beautiful conversation.    You can find Ebony: @kingeeebs   Since this episode was recorded, Ebony has had her second baby via elective ceasarean and is enjoying the newborn bubble. For those wanting an update for her son Flynn, he is now walking and is enjoying his newfound skill. Ebony mentions that his feet still turn inward but they have been seeing a podiatrist to help as well as continuing with physio and hydro. Ebony says that Flynn has come so far since our conversation and that CMT definitely hasn’t stopped him from living a full life as a toddler. 

This episode delves into the complex and often overlooked topic of prenatal diagnosis. Prenatal diagnosis involves genetic, developmental, or health issues in an unborn baby and statistics show that approximately 1 in 22 babies have a major congenital anomaly, and many of these diagnoses are made before birth. These diagnoses can be distressing and traumatic, presenting parents with difficult decisions and often accompanied by significant emotional and psychological challenges. Your host, Amber-lee, has the pleasure of speaking with Pieta Shakes, founder of Through The Unexpected, a charity working to advocate for systemic and societal change and supports families navigating a prenatal diagnosis. Pieta shares her personal journey of receiving a prenatal diagnosis in her third trimester, describing the emotional turmoil, decision-making challenges, and the gaps in the healthcare system that often fail to support parents adequately. She discusses the importance of community, the need for better training for healthcare professionals to provide empathetic and informed care to parents receiving a prenatal diagnosis, and finding hope amidst uncertainty. In this conversation, Pieta and Amber-lee explore the nuanced and varied experiences of parents navigating prenatal diagnoses, the impact on mental health, and the societal stigmas attached. They also talk about Pieta’s research focusing on the psychosocial aspects of prenatal diagnosis and her dedication to improving support systems for families facing these challenges. Pieta’s insights and advocacy for better care and support highlight the critical need for change in how we address and manage prenatal diagnoses.   If you are currently navigating prenatal diagnosis please see support, resources and information by Through The Unexpected: https://throughtheunexpected.org.au/   Find Pieta here: @throughtheunexpected 

*As always, please consider what you are consuming Amber-lee is joined by Ariane Beeston, postnatal psychosis survivor, psychologist,  former child protection caseworker, and writer who courageously shares her journey through postnatal psychosis after the birth of her son over a decade ago. Ariane's harrowing experience, detailed in her memoir "Because I'm Not Myself You See: A Memoir of Motherhood, Madness, and Coming Back from the Brink," offers a raw, real, and devastatingly honest look into the some of the most taboo and stigmatised experiences in maternal mental health.   Postnatal psychosis is a severe form of perinatal mental illness that occurs in approximately 1 to 2 out of every 1,000 mothers, typically within days to the first six weeks after childbirth. It is characterized by extreme confusion, hallucinations, delusions, and a loss of touch with reality, making it a psychiatric emergency that requires immediate treatment.   Ariane discusses the intense symptoms including seeing her baby as a dragon, thoughts of death and ending her life, the isolation of that time and shame around her experiences, the physical and emotional toll of depression, and the fears that kept her silent for so long. She reveals how a combination of expert psychiatric care, medication, and unwavering support from her husband helped her find a path to recovery.  Amber-lee and Ariane explore the importance of acknowledging and addressing perinatal mental illness, the often-misunderstood nature of postpartum psychosis, intrusive thoughts, mandatory reporting and the vital role of support systems for both mothers and their families. This episode is a powerful testament to the importance of breaking the silence around maternal mental health struggles, and also the difficulties in bringing them to light.   Ariane's story is heartbreaking, but also carries so much hope for those who are currently struggling. Her book is shockingly relatable to any mother who has felt the weight of maternal mental illness and is brutally honest about that time and presentations of psychosis. I loved her book and hope the world accepts this beautiful and devastating poetic piece as it is.      You can purchase her book here: https://www.blackincbooks.com.au/books/because-im-not-myself-you-see   Find Ariane on socials: @arianebeeston  Read more of her work for COPE here:https://www.cope.org.au/author/ariane/   If you or someone you know is struggling with their mental health, particularly related to perinatal or postpartum experiences, here are some valuable resources that can provide support and guidance: www.cope.org.au www.panda.org.au & National Helpline: 1300 726 306 www.lifeline.org.au  & 24/7 Crisis Support: 13 11 14 www.postpartum.net (global)

Do you feel different after having a baby? We've talked about matrescence but this episode is dedicated to understanding the biological changes and components of matrescence through a neuroscience lens. Host Amber-lee is joined by Dr. Sarah McKay, a renowned neuroscientist and author of Baby Brain: The surprising neuroscience of how pregnancy and motherhood sculpt our brains and change our minds (for the better), to delve deep into the neuroscience of motherhood, debunking common myths surrounding 'baby brain' and the changes women experience during pregnancy and after childbirth. From the influence of hormones to the reorganisation of the brain, Dr. McKay shares groundbreaking insights into how motherhood impacts the female brain, challenging the stigma associated with postnatal cognitive changes. Alongside discussing the physiological changes, this episode explores paternal brain adaptations, the psychology behind maternal instincts, and the vital importance of mental health and support for new mothers. Join us as together we shed light on the beauty and complexity of brain changes in motherhood, advocating for a mother-focused approach in society's understanding and support of women's health. Don't miss this episode full of revelations that will change the way you think about 'baby brain' and the incredible adaptability of the human brain during the journey of motherhood!   Get Dr Sarah McKay's book here: https://drsarahmckay.com/books/ and find her on socials @drsarahmckay    Transcript available www.thepowerofbirth.net     

In this enlightening episode, host Amber-lee, delves into the complex web of anger and rage in motherhood with guest Yara Heary, a dedicated psychologist from Life After Birth Psychology. They explore the nuances of anger as both a valid and misunderstood emotion, distinct yet connected to the journey of mothering. The conversation traverses the landscape of societal expectations, cultural contexts, and the barriers that mothers face, illuminating the intricate ways in which support systems, or the lack thereof, shape our experiences, while sharing their own mothering experiences with rage. Aimed at breaking down stigmas and navigating the turbulent waters of maternal emotions, this episode offers insights into reclaiming power, finding community, and the transformational paths through the protective emotion of anger. This episode is a powerful listen and I hope it brings you some relief, but also the motivation to find support where you need it.    Yara's Why Am I So Angry self paced course is available here: https://lifeafterbirthpsychology.podia.com/why-am-i-so-angry   Work with Yara or listen to her podcast: https://www.lifeafterbirth.com.au/    Transcript available www.thepowerofbirth.net 

In the final episode of the mental health mini-series, join host Amber-lee as she explores the transformative power of self-compassion. I delve into the concept of self-compassion with insights from leading researcher Dr. Kristen Neff and discover the key elements of self-kindness, shared humanity, and mindfulness as tools to nurture understanding and care towards oneself. Through relatable scenarios of fictional mothers Kate and Nora, listeners witness the impact of self-compassion on navigating the challenges of motherhood and emotional health. Practical strategies and insights are offered and backed by neuroscience to cultivate self-compassion and reshape inner dialogues. Tune in to uncover the importance of challenging societal stigmas and beliefs to embrace self-compassion as a form of self-love and empowerment, understand why self-compassion precedes gratitude and how practicing kindness with determination leads to personal growth. Self-compassion fosters resilience, enhances motivation, and promotes emotional wellbeing - compassion is not a weakness, in fact it is so powerful it can quite literally transform your brain for the better!  Thank you for tuning into the mental health mini-series! Don't forget to leave a review on whatever podcast platform you are listening on. I appreciate you for being here!   Resources: Dr Kristen Neff website: https://self-compassion.org/ Kristen Neff self-compassion test: https://self-compassion.org/self-compassion-test/ To find out more about the perfect mother myth mentioned in this episode see: https://drsophiebrock.com/ Grab your free self compassion based motherhood affirmations here: https://www.thepowerofbirth.net/   Finding Support in Australia: PANDA.org.au  1300 726 306 COPE.org.au Beyond Blue 1300 224 636 Gidget Foundation Black Dog Institute 1300 851 758   Disclaimer: While the content of this podcast is intended to provide support and guidance, it is not a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice. The techniques and practices discussed here are general in nature and may not be suitable for everyone. If you are experiencing significant distress, mental health concerns, or trauma, I encourage you to seek support from a qualified mental health professional. Additionally, if at any point during this episode you feel overwhelmed or triggered, please turn it off and talk to someone or do something that is helpful to you.   TRANSCRIPT Welcome to the last episode of the mental health mini series, episode six, make self compassion your superpower. There is actual power in self compassion. And if you were anything like me a couple of years ago, and you really lacked self compassion, I hope that this episode just plants the seed of self compassion today I first want to give you a good understanding of what self compassion is. So it's a concept that's gained a lot of attention, but thanks to psychologists like Dr. Kristen Neff, who is now the leading researcher in self compassion. She says it involves treating ourselves with the same kindness, concern, and support we'd offer a good friend when they're struggling. There are three key parts to this. Self kindness. Shared humanity and mindfulness. I did mindfulness a few episodes ago, so make sure that you go back and check that one out to help balance this out a little bit. And as I have a focus on mothers in this podcast, women's health, motherhood, reproductive health, and perinatal mental health, or just mental health in general. That's because motherhood comes with these incredibly high unrealistic expectations, which then turn, harsh judgments, whether that be from yourself or from others. It's all perpetuated by the myth of this perfect mother, this perfect mother does not exist. And yet every mother to some degree will set her expectations up against her perception of what the perfect mother is. And this myth can make us feel like we are never enough and that we're a bad mom and that we're never measuring up. Self compassion offers us a way out of that emotional trap by helping us treat ourselves with understanding and care, like we would a friend. Some of us are very good at offering compassion to others and not very good at offering it to ourselves. And then some of us are not very good at giving it to others and then in turn, we are [00:02:00] not very good at giving it to ourselves. So be mindful of where you're sitting in this I guess you could call it this spectrum of self compassion where we've got really harsh judgmental criticisms on one one end and self compassion and self love on the other. Where are you? Are you meeting in the middle? Do you have a bit of both? Are you leaning more to one side than the other? I want you to open up and understand where you're at. Now I'm going to offer two little scenarios here of two mothers. They are completely fictional characters and fictional lives and everything about them is fictional. I've literally made them up. the top of my head. They might feel very real though, and maybe relatable. That's the point. So I'm going to give you these scenarios and I'm going to use these mothers as I guess my examples throughout this episode. So Kate, she is a 34 year old mother of three all school aged children. She's now juggling a full time career in marketing after taking a break to raise her kids. So she's just getting back into the game and lately, she's finding herself incredibly overwhelmed. She's trying to balance that work home life and is finding it very difficult and often feeling guilty and inadequate. She often finds herself yelling at her kids. She's feeling very stressed in her body and tense. She's not sleeping very well at night because the to do list and tabs in her brain are open all night long. And she often has thoughts of I'm just failing at everything. I'm such a burden. I'm messing up my kids, et cetera, et cetera. Then we have Nora who's 26. She's a stay at home mom who is taking care of her two younger children, including an eight week old baby. So she's fresh in postpartum and has a toddler. She's absolutely exhausted. She struggles to find time for even basic care like shower and food and often feels low and frustrated and is always judging herself harshly. My house is always a mess. I'm disgusting. Why can't I do this? I should be doing this. She's having those kinds of thoughts. Now, instead of Kate coming home and taking a stress out on her kids or her family, or even on herself with her really harsh critical thoughts. What if Kate took a moment to pause before she walked in the door or before she picked up the kids or whatever she was about to do and just took a breath. So this is the mindfulness coming into it. And what if Kate's inner dialogue was something like, I am feeling really overwhelmed and that's okay because I have a lot on my plate right now and it's normal to have moments of frustration doesn't make me a bad mom. It just makes me human. What would Kate's behavior look like now? So instead of being disconnected from her body and listening to those harsh critical thoughts. What if Kate took a moment to drop anchor, recognize how she's feeling in her body. And talk to herself in a compassionate way. What would happen when Kate walked through that door? Now, instead of Nora comparing herself and her house to others and being critical of her mothering and the like, what if Nora changed her dialogue to something like, I am completely exhausted and I haven't slept and it's okay to feel the way I feel right now. I'm still a good mom. It's just really tough right now, but I'm doing the best that I can. What would her thoughts and behavior look like now? Just simply having a moment of self kindness doesn't erase our challenges. It just offers us, or in this instance, Kate and Nora, a space of grace, which then helps to navigate your feelings with more gentleness and less judgment. And then in turn, gentleness with others this is the superpower of self compassion. Now, I know many people struggle with self compassion and that is due to a combination of things like societal influences, depending on your culture, with self expression and expectation, also your personal experiences, maybe your upbringing, how you were spoken to as a child, where you ever offered compassion and just, These really internalized beliefs around strength and resilience and worthiness and productivity and the like.  Which all implicitly discourages expressions of vulnerability or self kindness and deems them as signs of weakness. And from a young age, lots of people may receive messages that value this sort of toughness and criticize emotional sensitivity, which leads to harsh self criticisms.  Often our early life experiences play a really crucial role in shaping how we are compassionate either to ourselves or to others. If you grew up in a home where affection or approval was based on like achievements or how well you suppressed your emotional needs, you might find it particularly challenging to embrace self compassion. And you even might fear that accepting your flaws or limitations could result in rejection or judgment. And that can be a really scary place to be. I just want to acknowledge how that feels. I just want to acknowledge that is reality for a lot of people. If this is really big and really deep for you, I do encourage you to go and seek some other professionals or resources to be able to get past those things so that you can practice self compassion. If that is your goal. There's also a lot of misunderstanding of what self compassion entails. So many confuse it with like self pity or a lack of accountability, fearing that being kind to ourselves will undermine motivation or lead to some kind of complacency. But research actually has shown that self compassion fosters resilience, lowers emotional exhaustion and can actually enhance motivation by reducing this fear of failure. So individuals are more likely to persist in their goals when

In this episode, Amber-lee, the host of the mental health mini-series, delves into the powerful concept of acceptance. Drawing from her training in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, she explores the importance of allowing emotions to be felt without judgment or resistance. Through a meditative exercise, Amber-lee guides listeners on a journey to accept and surf through their emotions like waves in the ocean, fostering a deeper understanding of emotional navigation and acceptance. Tune in to gain insights on embracing the full spectrum of human emotions and practicing acceptance in daily life. Feelings Wheel available here: https://feelingswheel.com/ I encourage you to listen to the whole episode but if you would just like to enjoy the meditation start at 10:20.   Disclaimer: While the content of this podcast is intended to provide support and guidance, it is not a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice. The techniques and practices discussed here are general in nature and may not be suitable for everyone. If you are experiencing significant distress, mental health concerns, or trauma, I encourage you to seek support from a qualified mental health professional. Additionally, if at any point during this episode you feel overwhelmed or triggered, please turn it off and talk to someone or do something that is helpful to you.   Finding Support in Australia: PANDA.org.au  1300 726 306 COPE.org.au Beyond Blue 1300 224 636 Gidget Foundation Black Dog Institute 1300 851 758   Outside of Australia: Postpartum Support International www.postpartum.net  TRANSCRIPT Hello, welcome back to another mental health mini series episode. Today I want to take you through the concept of acceptance. So accepting emotions probably sounds maybe a little vague or cliche, but I wanted to do an episode on acceptance because I have learned just how powerful this tool is. I recently completed some training in acceptance and commitment therapy, and while what we're going to do today is certainly not even close to it, I think the concept of acceptance is important and easy for everyone to understand practicing it may feel a little more difficult, but I just wanted to be able to give you a taste. So firstly, I'll just take you through what I mean by acceptance, and then we'll do a brief meditative exercise to kind of help you incorporate the practice of acceptance in your life. Hopefully it'll just give you a good idea of what it means to accept all emotions. So acceptance means to allow your feelings to be what they are without judgement or trying to change them and acknowledging your emotions no matter how uncomfortable they might be I want you to think about how often maybe you criticise yourself for feeling a certain way or maybe you avoid certain feelings, you tell yourself you're not allowed to feel them Some emotions become so stigmatized, we feel even guilty for feeling them normal human emotions and we feel guilty or we suppress or we criticize or we avoid, we may have been told that certain emotions or thoughts were wrong or inappropriate. And maybe people are often uncomfortable around certain emotions for themselves, for others. So it's unacceptable for them to have them, but that also means everyone else can't have them. Now, when we talk about acceptance, a lot of people mix it up with thinking that we tolerate or put up with, or we give in or we're resigning ourself to it, but it's more about being able to drop the struggle with it and just making room, opening up for that emotion, that difficult emotion, letting ourselves feel The full range of the human emotions. If we open ourselves up to feeling the way that we do and just let it flow through us, giving it time to kind of dissipate in its own time, like all emotions do. This is actually really beneficial to our mental health. I like the analogy where if like you think about emotions like the weather, For example, sunny, cloudy, rainy, stormy, light, dark. And then you think of yourself as the sky, the sky, experiencing. Changing weathers, right? You experience changing emotions. Sometimes it seems like we can have four seasons in one day and other days, maybe it's a good day. It's a sunny, nice beach day. And then sometimes we're going to have to weather the storms, right? So the sky remains, we remain as we are. And the weather comes and goes, doesn't define the sky. It doesn't fight the sky. The sky accepts the weather as it is. And this is what I would like you to consider today. Something that I often find really helpful is to notice and name the feeling. So a lot of the time we're kind of going through our days and weeks and we're not really paying attention to what's happening in our body or in our mind. just being able to either put it out there by saying it aloud or putting it into our conscious thoughts. Things like I'm noticing a feeling of frustration. For example, you can now build on that. So not only are you noticing what you're feeling and you have expressed that with some kind of openness or curiosity or acknowledgement, you're naming it You're normalizing it and then you're kind of understanding the purpose of it. So I'm noticing I'm feeling frustrated. So you've noticed and you've named. It's normal to be frustrated right now because I've had no sleep and then I've had a really big day. I'm just making this up off the top of my head, but You see what I did there? I noticed, I named, I normalized because all emotions are normal. We'll get to that, um, point about emotions and normal behavior and expression of emotion is where the disconnect happens. But you've noticed, you've named, you've normalized, and then you've figured out the reason or the purpose of that emotion. What is your body telling you? You're overwhelmed, you're frustrated, you've had no sleep, you've had a big day, you've had no breaks, you've had small children at you, your baby's cried non stop all night, you know, like there are reasons that we feel the way that we feel. And being able to acknowledge and name and notice, it kind of takes away some of its power or its hold on us and we can drop the struggle with it. In the show notes, you'll find. Uh, what I, what's called the feelings wheel. This is something like all therapists and psychologists, et cetera, use. Now this has 72 different feelings and emotions on it. 72. It's funny because before I knew that it was 72, I was like, uh, you know, there's probably like 15 different emotions that I probably feel on a regular basis, but then you read the feelings and you're like, Oh no, yep. I've had all 72 throughout my life. and I encourage you to open up that document, print it out, have it somewhere where you can refer back to it when you want to practice noticing and naming. Because sometimes we don't always have the vocabulary to articulate how we feel and using the feelings wheel can give you that power. I find it really, really helpful to do.  I want you to know that there are so many benefits to practicing acceptance. And usually, like anything, we see the benefits over time. You know, nothing is necessarily immediate or imminent. Sometimes I will feel an immediate, response, like in breath work, for example, I feel the difference, but it's not until over a period of time that you've been practicing this skill that you will really start to notice the difference from when you started to where you are now. So I encourage you to practice the skill of acceptance. What we found in this practice is that. Big emotions actually become less intense and research has even found that it leads to better mental health But we still don't actually understand how it's a bit of a phenomenon What we do know though is that if we put up a fight so we suppress avoid criticize With these feelings that we don't want to experience or we can't accept, it can keep us in this dysregulated state and eventually lead to worse emotional health. So that's just something to consider that sometimes our coping mechanisms are not actually helping us cope. Okay, let's get into the meditation now. I hope that kind of gave you a really good idea of what acceptance means. Think of the sky, think of the weather. I found that really helpful when I was learning about it. So the purpose of this meditation, it's just designed to help you navigate some big emotions you might be having lately, and it helps you practice acceptance and face those emotional ups and downs with more openness and curiosity and acceptance and compassion, et cetera. We're trying to drop the struggle with the big emotions. So throughout this exercise, pick a big emotion that you find that you're struggling with and try and incorporate that as I take you through it. Okay. Cue the music. Here we go. Now just begin by finding a comfortable position, could be seated or lying down, whatever you prefer. Close your eyes if it's safe to do so, or just soften your gaze. And just take a moment, take this moment to settle into your space. Letting go of any immediate distractions or tensions. Now take three deep breaths. Inhaling slowly through your nose, feeling your chest and your belly rise and then exhaling gently through your mouth. Take another breath, exhale when you're ready and with each breath just imagine releasing any tension you're holding in your body. Now picture yourself sitting or standing on a beautiful serene beach. Feeling that warmth of the sun on your skin, the soft sand beneath your feet, the gentle breeze against your face, hearing the rhythmic sound of the waves crashing onto the shore. As you walk towards the water, imagine yourself picking up a surfboard, feeling its weight and texture, and now you're preparing to enter the water. Not to battle the waves, but to ride them and to flow with them. Now you wade into the water with your surfboard and you begin paddling out to sea. Just notice the water's temperature and the strength of the waves in the ocean, and the vastness

#4 of the Mental Health Mini Series focuses on mindfulness and explores the importance of being present in the moment. Your host, Amber-lee shares insights on the concept of mindfulness, its benefits, and guides listeners through two mindfulness exercises they can incorporate into their daily lives. The first exercise, '5-4-3-2-1 Senses Grounding,' helps listeners connect with their immediate environment using their senses, while the second exercise involves mindful eating that helps you practice being present. Mindfulness can reduce stress, improve self-awareness, and support your overall wellbeing, especially for busy mums, but anyone can do these simple exercises! Listeners are encouraged to practice mindfulness daily, when possible, and apply these techniques to their mental health toolbox.   5-4-3-2-1 Senses excercise begins at 10:43 Mindful Eating exercise begins at 16:32   Disclaimer: Disclaimer: While the content of this podcast is intended to provide support and guidance, it is not a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice. The techniques and practices discussed here are general in nature and may not be suitable for everyone. If you are experiencing significant distress, mental health concerns, or trauma, I encourage you to seek support from a qualified mental health professional. Additionally, if at any point during this episode you feel overwhelmed or triggered, please turn it off and talk to someone or do something that is helpful to you   Finding Support in Australia: PANDA.org.au  1300 726 306 COPE.org.au Beyond Blue 1300 224 636 Gidget Foundation Black Dog Institute 1300 851 758   References: Baer, R. A. (2003). Mindfulness training as a clinical intervention: A conceptual and empirical review. Clinical Psychology: Science and Practice, 10(2), 125–143. https://doi.org/10.1093/clipsy.bpg015 Leng LL, Yin XC, Ng SM. Mindfulness-based intervention for clinical and subthreshold perinatal depression and anxiety: A systematic review and meta-analysis of randomized controlled trial. Compr Psychiatry. 2023 Apr;122:152375. doi: 10.1016/j.comppsych.2023.152375. Epub 2023 Feb 5. PMID: 36841089. ACT Made Simple 2nd Edition by Russ Harris   TRANSCRIPT Amber-lee (Host): Thanks for being here. Another mental health mini series episode. I'm so excited to share this one with you because today is all about mindfulness. And I promise mindfulness is not just a buzzword. Okay. So today I'm going to take you through two mindfulness exercises that are really easy to incorporate into your daily life as a busy mom who might struggle to be present, if you're anything like me. I love using mindfulness where I can in my life so I really wanted to share some techniques with you today. Firstly, I actually find it helpful to know what mindfulness is, how it's helpful. So I'll tell you a little bit about that. And then we'll get into the two exercises. You can skip ahead if you want to as well. Mindfulness is actually just an ancient concept with a really wide range of spiritual and religious traditions dating back to at least 4, 000 years ago, or so we know. And Western mindfulness based approaches are mostly derived from Buddhism and many believe its basis is in meditation, but mindfulness can actually be used in many other ways. So I'm not doing meditation today. I'm going to just purely focus on mindfulness. There are lots of definitions, but to help kind of give an explanation of some of the practices you're going to be doing with me today, I wanted to give you a really good definition surrounding those practices. So, mindfulness is just all about living in the present moment. Accepting your current thoughts, feelings, what's happening around you, all without judgment. It's a way to pay attention to the present what's happening inside you and outside of you with a kind and open attitude. So practicing mindfulness means you're aware of your thoughts, emotions, bodily feelings, and sensations and environment in a really focused and accepting way. It's about noticing what's going on around you right now. Without getting lost in the past or worrying about the future. I know moms sometimes we can be like, what if, what if, and where, and because we carry the mental load for our families, a lot of the time, that weight feels really heavy. And so we're often focusing on the past or worrying about the future and mindfulness helps us break away from those automatic reactions and habits that we might have leading to better control over our emotions and our attention, giving more self awareness and ultimately less stress. It's like training your brain to be more in tune with itself in the world around you, making it a really valuable tool for a healthier and happier life. You know, we live in a very fast pace society with heavy expectations on mothers. We often exist in systems that aren't designed for us or our children or our families to thrive. And one way that has helped me personally, along the way is mindfulness. I thought it might be helpful to give you like a kind of scenario, if you're having trouble placing it. So maybe just imagine a new mom who's feeling Overwhelmed or anxious, or maybe a little bit sad after the birth of her baby. And this is a time, you know, when everything's changing her body, her relationships, her identity, her entire world, as she knows it. And it's only natural for her to experience these whirlwind of emotions. But sometimes these feelings can be really tough to manage. And here's where mindfulness can make that difference. So by practicing mindfulness, this new mom can learn to focus on her present experiences with kindness and without judgment. So for example, when she's feeling these waves of anxiety or sadness, instead of trying to push those feelings away or criticize herself for having them, you know, maybe she's telling herself she should just be grateful because of X, Y, Z. She can just simply notice them. She can pay attention to her breath, the sensations in her body, or even the sound of her baby. And this helps her create a space of calm and acceptance around her feelings. It's kind of like dropping anchor. Right. And just being present, just acknowledging your emotions and feelings without letting them take over and really grounding yourself in the here and now, and by using this technique, just randomly throughout her day, she can find a way to navigate those emotional ups and downs of new motherhood. And it becomes a really helpful tool for not only reducing stress, anxiety, but for enhancing your overall wellbeing during a really crucial time. It's so crazy to me, right? That we have to practice being present. I mean that, what does that say about the society that we live in and how our lives are designed? I wanted to share some of the benefits really briefly with you. I think it's really obvious after you practice this, I want you to pay attention to how you're feeling before. So right now, and then how you're feeling after you do these exercises. I wonder how you'll feel after you practice mindfulness. I'm really curious to know your thoughts. So some of the benefits include things like a reduced. stress response. In previous episodes, we've talked about the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems, that fight, flight, freeze, fawn response. And practicing mindfulness can actually lower your stress by reducing the activity in your amygdala. That's the emotional center of your brain that's responsible for the fight, flight, freeze, fawn. And when you practice mindfulness, you'll find that your body's stress response is lessened. It's, It lowers cortisol levels and it gives you that sense of feeling calm and you just have this more balanced emotional state. It also improves your attention and focus which is really helpful and also gives you that sense of greater self awareness. It's funny, before I was practicing mindfulness, I had no idea how un self aware I actually was. But mindfulness can teach us that it's okay to experience a range of emotions, right? Because you're not judging them, you're not trying to push them away or avoid them, you're just simply accepting the emotion that you're in and the feelings that you're feeling and you recognize that they're temporary and that they kind of come and go. And you have this really non judgmental perspective, which can help make you That little bit more resilient when you face challenges. There's lots of research on mindfulness. There's tons of like systematic reviews and meta analyses. They are, if you're unsure what they are, they're like top tier research. If they're, you know, if you think about a hierarchy and the different types of methods that people use in research, systematic reviews and meta analyses are top tier. And what they found was mindfulness based interventions actually work better when they're combined with other therapies like cognitive behavioral therapy, acceptance and commitment therapy, etc, etc. Those might just be words to you, but there is actually some scientific basis behind this. So sometimes mindfulness. And I think it's important to acknowledge that and we might need a little bit more support for our mental health. So please keep that in mind. All of these exercises that I do with you, they're just to simply help support you. Pack into your mental health toolbox and grab them when you need them. This definitely should not be replacing outside supports and resources. Okay, this is just one resource. So I've got a really simple yet effective mindfulness activity to do now. It's called the 5, sensors grounding. That can be done in a few minutes. It doesn't require any special equipment or, or environment, you can just go be as you are right now and it's designed to bring your attention to the present moment, using the senses to anchor your thoughts and calm your mind. I recently actually did this exercise with, a young six year old boy who struggles with anxiety. And obviously

This episode in the Mental Health Mini Series, I, your host Amber-lee, take you through one of my favourite techniques, Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR). This technique nourishes your mind and soul having a deep impact on your mental health and physiological responses to stress. Motherhood introduces unique psychological stresses, making us vulnerable to conditions like depression and anxiety. Yet, PMR stands out as a versatile tool, offering relief and resilience across life's stressful seasons; from depression and anxiety, sleep issues to managing chronic pain, stress, and more. PMR enhances emotional regulation and physical relaxation. This episode doesn't just highlight the science behind PMR's benefits; it also guides you through a practical PMR exercise by This Way Up, designed to equip you with a technique that can transform your mind and body in the perinatal period. Join me from 7:38 in to begin PMR.   Disclaimer: While the content of this podcast is intended to provide support and guidance, it is not a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice. The techniques and practices discussed here are general in nature and may not be suitable for everyone. If you are experiencing significant distress, mental health concerns, or trauma, I encourage you to seek support from a qualified mental health professional. Additionally, if at any point during this episode you feel overwhelmed or triggered, please turn it off and talk to someone or do something that is helpful to you.   Finding Support in Australia: PANDA.org.au  1300 726 306 COPE.org.au Beyond Blue 1300 224 636 Gidget Foundation Black Dog Institute 1300 851 758   Resources and References: The Way Up: https://thiswayup.org.au/ (your mental health professional can give you free access to ThisWayUp’s resources and courses as long as they have an account). Abera, M., Hanlon, C., Daniel, B., Tesfaye, M., Workicho, A., Grima, T., Rasmus, W., Andersen, G., Fewtrell, M., Filteau, S., & Wells, J. C. (2022). Effect of relaxation interventions in pregnant women on maternal and neonatal outcomes: A systematic review and meta-analysis. *medRxiv*. https://doi.org/10.1101/2022.11.17.22282468 Ahmadi M, Rahimi F, Rosta F, AlaviMajd H, Valiani M. Effect of Progressive Muscle Relaxation Training on Postpartum Blues in High-risk Pregnant Women. J Holist Nurs Midwifery. 2019; 29(4):192-199. https://doi.org/10.32598/JHNM.29.4.192 Tan, X. Y. J., Choong, S. Y. X., Cheng, L. J., & Lau, Y. (2021). Relaxation interventions for improving sleep outcomes in perinatal women: A systematic review and meta-analysis of randomized controlled trials. Journal of Midwifery. Volume 103. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.midw.2021.103151 Toussaint L, Nguyen QA, Roettger C, Dixon K, Offenbächer M, Kohls N, Hirsch J, Sirois F. Effectiveness of Progressive Muscle Relaxation, Deep Breathing, and Guided Imagery in Promoting Psychological and Physiological States of Relaxation. Evid Based Complement Alternat Med. 2021 Jul 2;2021:5924040. doi: 10.1155/2021/5924040. PMID: 34306146; PMCID: PMC8272667.   TRANSCRIPT: Today, we're going to be doing one of my favourite exercises for your mental health. I love, love, love this exercise. I'm going to be taking you through a sequence of progressive muscle relaxation. I know it's a bit wordy, but I promise you, you're going to thank me later. So progressive muscle relaxation, or otherwise known as PMR, it works by engaging the body's natural relaxation response. So that involves activating the parasympathetic nervous system. So that's the rest and digest, the branch responsible for calming the body. After stress or danger subsides, right? So when we experienced stress that the sympathetic nervous system often referred to as the fight, flight, freeze, fawn response, that becomes activated leading to an increased heart rate, rapid breathing, muscle tension, among many other physiological changes. Progressive muscle relaxation counteracts this stress response by systematically tensing and then relaxing different muscle groups. This process triggers a cascade of physiological responses that promote relaxation throughout your body and hopefully your mind. And as muscles relax, your heart rate decreases, your breathing becomes deeper and slower, your body blood pressure lowers, and the stress hormones like cortisol diminish. And these changes signal to the brain that the perceived threat has passed, shifting the body into a state of rest and recovery. So over time and with regular practice, PMR can help retrain the nervous system essentially. That's pretty exciting if you ask me, so you can actually teach your Stress response or your brain to respond more calmly to stresses this not only reduces immediate feelings of tension and anxiety, but also promotes that long term resilience against stress deal and cope with stress a little better. So I thought PMR would be a really great one for mums to be doing and practicing. Now this is something that I did when I laid down in bed at night because I found it really difficult after my second born to fall asleep and I just felt wired and heightened and I definitely was tense. It was like I was stiff as a board on my mattress. It's like I didn't, I was so stiff I couldn't feel my mattress. That's how I would describe it. So this is something that I. Incorporated into my daily routine. So every night when I went to bed, I would do a progressive muscle relaxation from head to toe, and I loved it. I felt my body sinking deeper and deeper into that mattress until I fell asleep. And sometimes I wouldn't even finish because I was just so calm and so relaxed that I would fall asleep. So that is my hope for you. Now, progressive muscle relaxation has lots of evidence to show that it helps with depression and anxiety. So I hope that with you practicing this, you actually feel those changes within your body and within your mind. I want to say that this is not something that I would say is a cure necessarily. It's just a really great way to manage stress. It's a really great way to decompress to defuse and to put ourselves back in that parasympathetic nervous system state without further ado, let's get started. I will say that this progressive muscle relaxation is the actual one that I practiced and you also can do a progressive muscle relaxation technique in a matter of 30 seconds. Don't feel like you've got to be doing this all body experience. It's like I remember driving in the car. And I would be clenching my fists and then relaxing my fists and just even doing something as basic as that would trigger my nervous system to go, Oh yeah, I am safe and Oh yeah, I can calm down and everything's going to be fine. So I'm giving you the full blown PMR technique today. But. Take it as you will. I have taken this particular exercise from ThisWayUp. I did that course quite a number of years ago. A psychiatrist gave me like a login for it and I loved it so much for perinatal mental health. So a big shout out to ThisWayUp.org.au They are incredible with what they're doing. Let's get started. Just find a quiet space where you feel like you won't really be interrupted for a couple of minutes. Dim the lights if possible. Now there are no rules. You can leave your eyes open or you can close them. Close them, whichever you prefer, and also try not to tense your muscles too tightly. So this should not be uncomfortable or painful. So we only want to go to about 60 or 70 percent capacity. Okay. So just keep that in mind while you're doing this exercise. And don't worry if your mind wanders during this exercise either. I always say, don't put too much pressure on yourself. When you're doing something like this, we can kind of get all worked up in our head about how we're not doing it right, or how maybe we're failing at it or that we can't relax. I don't want you to get caught up in those thoughts. I just want you to come as you are and just allow yourself to be impatient. Allow yourself to feel the way that you feel. You may also feel like this is a waste of time. And that may be because you're not used to feeling relaxed. So I just want you to pay attention to what your body and your mind are saying and doing throughout this exercise. Cause it can be really interesting if we get curious about ourselves. Okay. First, find a comfortable position and allow your attention to focus on your It's only on your body. Close your eyes. Let them rest lightly on a spot in front of you. Let's start with a few relaxing breaths. Take a deep breath through your abdomen. Hold for a few seconds and exhale slowly. Again, as you breathe, notice your stomach rise and your lungs fill with air. As you exhale, imagine the tension in your body being released and flowing out of your body. And again, inhale and exhale. As you go through each step now, remember to keep breathing. Now let's begin. Move your attention to your forehead. As you inhale, tighten the muscles in your forehead by raising your eyebrows as high as you can. And just hold here. And release. As you release, feel the muscles of your forehead relaxing. Breathing in and out. Next, tighten your eye muscles by squinting your eyelids tightly shut. Hold for about five seconds. And release. Keep breathing in and out. Move your attention to your facial muscles. Thorough your brows, and purse your lips together tightly. Try to pull all of your facial muscles forward, towards your nose. And hold here And release. As you release, feel that relaxation of those facial muscles. How good does that feel? Are you noticing what's tight? Remember to breathe. Now smile widely. Feeling your mouth and your cheeks tense. And hold here. Now release. Just appreciate the softness in your face right now. Now bring your awareness to your jaw. Clench your jaw tightly. Feeling the tension surrounding muscles of your jaw. And now release. Feel the tension in your jaw just now. Ebb away.[00:11:00] Bring your focus now to your neck

Box Breathing, also known as square breathing or four-square breathing, is a structured breathing technique with roots in ancient yogic practices. This technique involves a rhythmic pattern of inhalation, holding the breath, exhalation, and holding the breath again, each for an equal count of time, typically ranging from four to eight counts.  As a mum, you wear many hats—nurturer, chef, chauffeur, teacher as so on. With all the love and joy also come moments of overwhelm, anxiety, and exhaustion. That's where Box Breathing steps in, offering you a lifeline to regulate and feel more balanced. Whether you're juggling tantrums, soothing tears, or simply stealing a moment for yourself amidst the chaos, simple things like Box Breathing can support you. Tune in and come take a breath with me at 8:20.    Disclaimer: While the content of this podcast is intended to provide support and guidance, it is not a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice. The techniques and practices discussed here are general in nature and may not be suitable for everyone. If you are experiencing significant distress, mental health concerns, or trauma, I encourage you to seek support from a qualified mental health professional. Additionally, if at any point during this episode you feel overwhelmed or triggered, please turn it off and talk to someone or do something that is helpful to you.   Finding Support in Australia: PANDA.org.au  1300 726 306 COPE.org.au Beyond Blue 1300 224 636 Gidget Foundation Black Dog Institute 1300 851 758   More resources to check out: Episode 9: How Implementing Breathwork in Your Life Can Change Your Life with Nicola Laye: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/episode-9-how-implementing-breathwork-in-your-life/id1572162194?i=1000525309231   Nicola Laye: https://www.nicolalaye.com/   I also use Insight Timer or other meditation apps that incorporate the breath and I highly recommend!   References: Zaccaro A, Piarulli A, Laurino M, Garbella E, Menicucci D, Neri B, Gemignani A. How Breath-Control Can Change Your Life: A Systematic Review on Psycho-Physiological Correlates of Slow Breathing. Front Hum Neurosci. 2018 Sep 7;12:353. doi: 10.3389/fnhum.2018.00353. PMID: 30245619; PMCID: PMC6137615.   TRANSCRIPT: Amber-lee (Host): All right. Another miniseries episode for your mental health. I'm very excited about this one because this one is all about breath work. I'm going to tell you a little bit about the physiological mechanisms that are influenced by the breath. And that's just for those interested in knowing how your breath affects your body. Then we're going to get into some box breathing, which is a really simple yet powerful technique that you can use to shift your body from stressed, intense. To that sort of rest and digest and calm. So you can listen to me blubber on for a bit, or you can just fast forward straight to the box breathing. Our breath is connected to the autonomic nervous system. So that's what regulates our involuntary bodily functions, right? So as you go about your day, there are things that your body's doing that you're not consciously making it do; your heart rate and your heartbeat digesting your lunch and just breathing as you walk down the street. There's many more functions, but those are like the big ones, right? So through specific breathing techniques, we can actually influence the balance between our nervous systems. We have our autonomic nervous system and two nervous systems branch off from that. The sympathetic nervous system and the parasympathetic nervous system, and you've probably heard me talk about this before so the sympathetic nervous system is a branch that's responsible for your body's fight, flight, freeze, or fawn response. This is activated in times of stress or perceived danger and actually tries to help protect us when the sympathetic nervous system is more dominant, our heart rate increases, our breathing becomes rapid and shallow, and our stress hormones like cortisol are being released to help us in those stressful moments. Now sometimes this nervous system can flick on when we recognize that, okay, I'm feeling stressed, but the stress is actually unhelpful to me in this present moment. That's when we want to flick back to our parasympathetic nervous system. In contrast, the parasympathetic nervous system is a branch responsible for the body's rest and digest, promoting relaxation, restoration, repletion, all those good nourishing things. So activation of the parasympathetic nervous system leads to the decreased heart rate, the slowed breathing and a reduction in those stress hormones so box breathing is a really simple technique that can help shift your body from that sympathetic dominant state to the parasympathetic dominant state. And by consciously manipulating the breath in a specific pattern of inhaling, holding, exhaling, holding, like a box. That's four steps, each for an equal count. So I usually start with four, but you can do six or eight or 10 depending on the stretch of your breath, mine's not very good so I sit at about four and six, but this is when we can engage that parasympathetic nervous systems relaxation response, which is what we need more of in motherhood. If you ask me, because being a mom can be very stressful. I don't do or say anything without some kind of evidence. So I looked up a couple of research articles and found an amazing systematic review. I'm going to say the name wrong, Zaccaro et al. This was a 2018 study and they examined the psychophysiological effects of slow breathing techniques. Through a thorough analysis, where they look at lots of different existing literature on the same topic. They looked at experimental and observational studies in their study, and the researchers found the significant impact of breath control practices on various aspects of human physiology and psychology. Their findings revealed that slow breathing techniques exert profound effects on the autonomic nervous system activity. Promoting increased parasympathetic tone and decreased sympathetic arousal. Facilitating a shift towards a more relaxed physiological state. So that's what they found. That's what we know. And that's what I've already discussed with you, right? But what they found was slow breathing was associated with favourable changes in cardiovascular function, including reductions in heart rate and blood pressure contributing to improved cardiovascular health and these practices were found to enhance respiratory efficiency and respiratory sinus arrhythmia, leading to better oxygenated and carbon dioxide exchange in the body. So this is important because slow breathing techniques were also linked to enhancements in psychological wellbeing with the reductions in stress, anxiety, and depressive symptoms, as well as improvements in mood, attention, and cognitive function. What they actually found was that A tool like the breath, something that you do without even thinking about it, actually has the capacity to change your physiological state, but also your psychological state. And I just think that's incredibly powerful. And that's one of the reasons I'm doing this miniseries is to offer you this information to offer you these tools because they are free and you can use them anywhere and anytime.  I'm going to be doing a box breathing with you. So just the idea about a box breath, if you're unfamiliar with it, it's just basically where you're inhaling for a count of 4. So inhale for 4, hold for 4, exhale for 4, hold for 4, inhale again for 4.  This kind of deep breathing stimulates what is known as the vagus nerve. And that's a key component of the parasympathetic nervous system, which leads to that decreased heart rate and blood pressure.  No matter where you are, you can try this technique right here, right now with just your breath. That's all you need. Close your eyes if you feel like doing so. Otherwise, if you're still busy doing things and you just want to be doing this box breathing with me while you're doing them, that's cool too. We're going to be inhaling, and I'm going to be counting to four while you fill your lungs with air, and then you're going to hold your breath on the next four, then exhale on the next four, and then hold again on the next four. So that's the pattern. Okay, you ready? Inhale. Hold. Two, three, four. Exhale. Two, three, four. Hold. Two, three, four. Inhale. Two, three, four. Hold, 2, 3, 4. Exhale, 2, 3, 4. Hold, 2, 3, 4. Inhale, 2, 3, 4. Hold, 2, 3, 4. Exhale, 2, 3, 4. Hold, 2, 3, 4. Inhale, 2, 3, 4. Hold, 2, 3, 4. 2, 3, 4, exhale 2, 3, 4, hold 2, 3, 4, inhale 2, 3, 4, hold 2, 3, 4, exhale 2, 3, 4, hold 2, 3, 4. You can stop now if you like. We didn't do it for a very long time today, but I just want you to be able to see if you can practice this for just a few minutes. If it feels too forced, just simply sit there and focus on whatever natural breath you're doing, but maybe add a hold in where you can because it's about that controlled, slow breath. There are so many situations that you can use breath work in and when I was thinking about different situations that breath work is really helpful for, I was thinking as a mom, it's in those times of feeling overwhelmed or anxious or stressed where we want to quickly bring down our nervous system back into that calm, regulated state. There are so many moments, but I remember particularly when my son was 18 months old and my daughter was three months old cooking dinner, it's like mid COVID. My husband was rarely home at that time. It was just like us at home all the time. No visitors, like no spontaneity. It was groundhog day every day. And I really struggled at dinnertime with, both babies wanting to be held and nurtured and also trying to get dinner on and stay within the clock so that by 7pm, I can be putting them to bed so that I could get a break. And You know, the constant back and forth to the kids were holding at least one of them in

Welcome to season 4 of Can We Talk About This?! I am kicking off with a Mental Health Mini Series designed with mums in mind, where you get 6 episodes with me, Amber-lee Buendicho, offering some basic tools and resources for your mental health that you can incorporate in your daily life. We all know the demands of mothering and personal life can be stressful, triggering, frustration, exhausting and I wanted to offer some of my favourite tools because we need to take care of ourselves too! This series is here to offer a helping hand, guiding you through a journey of emotional regulation, recognition, and acceptance. Each episode is crafted to empower you with the skills needed to navigate emotional landscapes and to instill practices that enhance wellbeing. These exercises are aimed at helping you find a moment of peace amidst the chaos, and fostering a deeper connection with yourself. This is more than just a series; it's a space for you to breathe, learn, and grow.   In this episode I take you through a simple body scan exercise ask you some follow up questions to help you integrate awareness. I then offer some insight into how our brain works when we feel big emotions and how something as simple as a body scan can bring us back to ourselves and some of the benefits you receive when you use body scan practices. Body scan begins at 7:40 mins and goes for a total 11 mins 30 secs. This particular body scan is general in nature and was adapted from TherapistAid materials.    Disclaimer: While the content of this podcast is intended to provide support and guidance, it is not a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice. The techniques and practices discussed here are general in nature and may not be suitable for everyone.   If you are experiencing significant distress, mental health concerns, or trauma, I encourage you to seek support from a qualified mental health professional. Additionally, if at any point during this episode you feel overwhelmed or triggered, please turn it off and talk to someone or do something that is helpful to you.   Finding Support in Australia: PANDA.org.au  1300 726 306 COPE.org.au Beyond Blue 1300 224 636 Gidget Foundation Black Dog Institute 1300 851 758   TRANSCRIPT Amber-lee (Host): Welcome back to, can we talk about this? I'm your host, Amberlee Buendicho. Thank you so much for joining me for another wonderful season. I took a big break from the podcast and, and my other studies to just kind of, Be a little bit more present in my life. Enjoy some time being a mum, being with my kids, going on adventures, and just kind of doing things that fuel my soul and my nervous system has really thanked me for that.   So, a kind little reminder to you mum is that if you need to take a break where you can, Please do because the world can wait. We need you to be happy and healthy too. But I'm back and I'm so ready to get into season four. I have an amazing lineup of guests for this season and we're going to [00:02:00] start really getting into some heavier topics regarding perinatal mental health. The first part of this season, I'm doing something a little bit different. So, I'm offering a mental health miniseries. And this is sort of where I'll be exploring practical strategies for coping with stress and diffusing overwhelming emotions, calming your anxious mind, interrupting those negative thought patterns, but also trying to increase your awareness of your inner world, your brain, your body, and what's going on inside your inner world.   So these are just all basic essential skills that can help you. Not only help you survive those hard days, but also thrive amidst the challenges that you're facing. And I've also used these tools in my own life. I personally vouch for them. Motherhood is just such a unique experience for everyone. And we all experienced the highs and lows. We experienced the joy and the love, but then also it's just incredibly challenging with the sleepless nights, the endless to do list, the loss of identity, reparenting yourself, navigating tantrums or the unsettled baby, feeding difficulties, managing your own emotions, and just feeling like the weight of Cultural and societal expectations. The demands of motherhood can sometimes just be completely overwhelming. I want to be able to offer you some tools that you can just simply adapt into your daily life when you're feeling exhausted, anxious, overwhelmed, stressed, or just need a little bit of self care. This miniseries is for you. So each episode I will offer the insights, techniques, and exercises that you can do to easily incorporate, and hopefully even empower you to take control of your mental health and your wellbeing. And I just want you to remember that you are strong, you are capable, and you are worthy of support because you matter too. So let's get started. The little exercise I'm doing today I'm kind of the purpose of it is I'm trying to get you out of your head and bring you back into your body. This is just a very, very basic and simple body scan exercise. So you just need to simply listen to the prompts and follow along. Of course, I always ask that you open your heart and mind to the exercise and just give it a try. And I'd also love to know what you think. I'll get into the body scan now, and then just for time sake, so that we're getting into it. at the beginning of the episode. And then after the body scan, I'm going to kind of talk about what we're doing and why we're doing it. And then also kind of the benefits of doing a body scan and when you can incorporate that into your life. So let's get started with the body scan. (disclaimer) I should note that in some situations a body scan or meditative or mindfulness exercise may not be appropriate. For severe psychiatric symptoms and conditions, so psychosis, dissociation, uncontrollable panic attacks, a body scan might not be actually be appropriate for you. So please be mindful before engaging in this practice with me today. Also, um, for, Some people with PTSD or post traumatic stress disorder, certain aspects of body focus practices like a body scan can actually trigger traumatic experiences and memories or overwhelming emotional responses. In such cases, it's actually essential to approach mindful practices with some sensitivity and it might even be better to do a trauma informed approach rather than just something general, like I'm doing today to kind of prioritize your safety and emotional regulation. Going on from that, anything that's kind of like very acute. So during an acute crisis situation, such as suicidal ideation, acute mania or severe agitation, individuals may be in a state of very, very heightened distress and require immediate intervention from a trained professional. So. Mindfulness practice is really not the place if something is very acute. Um, so just keep that in mind. Severe eating disorders is the next one. Individuals with severe eating disorders, particularly those struggling with body image disturbances or body dysmorphia, they might find that they may find body focus practices like body scans, triggering or distressing. And it's just really important that you're working with a healthcare provider, a professional experienced in treating eating disorders to develop a more holistic treatment plan and addressing those underlying psychological and physiological factors. A body scan may not be appropriate in such situations. Um, and I also read a little bit about substance use disorders. So individuals with substance use disorders may have difficulty maintaining focus and concentration necessary for a body scan. Um, this could be during intoxication or withdrawal. So in such cases, I, a mindfulness intervention would not be the right approach. So just also consider that. The last thing was intellectual or developmental disabilities. Individuals with intellectual or developmental disabilities, including like autism, mindfulness practices like body scans may need to be adapted to accommodate for that individual's experience in sensory communication, cognitive ability, um, tailored, a more tailored approach and support from trained professionals would be necessary in this circumstance. So just consider what I've said, and This would be regarding future miniseries episodes as well. Okay. While there's so many benefits to doing something as simple like a body scan in some scenarios, they're actually not helpful. So please consider that before you continue on with me today. Okay. Now let's get into it.   (body scan begins) Over the next several minutes, you will focus on the physical sensations throughout your body. These sensations might be the feeling of the clothes on your skin, tension within your muscles, temperature of the air, Or anything else that you can feel. Sometimes you might notice no sensation at all. Your job is to simply observe these sensations. You do not need to change how your body feels or do anything else. To begin, sit back or lie down in a comfortable position. Maybe you're driving in the car right now. Maybe you're laying in bed. Maybe you're just simply sitting on your lounge. If it feels safe to do so, close your eyes or just let your gaze soften and take in a few big deep breaths. Inhale and exhale. Find your own breathing pace. Notice the feelings all throughout your body. Notice your breath, notice your thoughts,and if your thought starts to linger, just bring it back to the breath, back to the body. Notice your feet, including your sole, your heel, your toes, and the top of the foot. Notice the sensation of the ground, or your socks, or your shoes. Your shoes, or anything else around you that your feet can detect. Travel up your body. Imagine a line from your feet, to your ankles, to your shins, to your calves. Notice sensations both deep in the muscles, and on the surface of your skin. Skin, how do they feel? If your thoughts have lingered, bring it back to the breath. Inhale and exhal

Brianna talks about her experience in her first pregnancy which was full of excitement and preparation to then find out at 14 weeks her baby had passed at 10 weeks gestation. Brianna talks about the devastating realisation she had been carrying a dead baby and openly talks about what her physical loss looked like and the aftermath of her ‘missed miscarriage’ and the impact grief, sadness and post traumatic stress symptoms had on her mind and life. When Brianna did finally fall pregnant again, everything was ok but the dark cloud of possible complications or loss followed her for the entire pregnancy. Brianna shares her feelings and experiences throughout her pregnancy and into her birth. Brianna talks of an empowering birth experience but a difficult postpartum with a very unsettled baby, feeding struggles and trying to decipher anxiety and intuition as a new mother.       If you are struggling with pregnancy loss or infant loss, please reach out to these amazing organisations who can support you www.pinkelephants.org.au www.sands.org.au www.postpartum.net   If you are struggling with your mental health in pregnancy or postpartum, please reach out to www.panda.org.ay www.postpartum.net   Music is called "Flowers" by Limujii and can be found on YouTube, SoundCloud and Spotify.

Rebecca bravely shares her experiences struggling with her mental health since childhood and how her experiences becoming a mother exacerbated her struggles. Rebecca openly shares about her very wanted pregnancy and how anxiety and tokophobia (clinical fear of childbirth) robbed her of any joy or excitement and how that impacted her birth decisions and immediate postpartum experiences. We chat about distinguishing anxiety, tokophobia and common fears of childbirth.   Rebecca shares about her birth and the acute psychological distress she experienced and how that impacted her postpartum which quickly took a scary turn. Rebecca was admitted into a Mothers and Baby Unit to treat her mental health struggles and she shares about how this completely transformed her mental health and her life. Rebecca talks candidly about her grief, self blame, the experience of anxiety, OCD and intense intrusive thoughts as well as her struggles accepting diagnoses and support including medication. We also chat about the importance in having mental health professionals with a special interest in perinatal mental health issues and the difference that made in Rebecca’s diagnosis and recovery.      There is so much to learn from those who have lived experience with these mental health conditions and I truly believe this episode can benefit other struggling mums simply by real talk and validation, but also for mental health professionals who work with mums.   You can find Rebecca at @perinatalstoriesaustralia on socials, her podcast Perinatal Stories Australia or website www.perinatalstoriesaustralia.com   If you or someone you know is experiencing signs and symptoms of anxiety, depression, OCD, tokophobia or PTSD – please urgently seek professional help.   www.cope.org.au (they also have a perinatal psychologist directory) www.panda.org.au  www.gidgetfoundation.org.au  www.birthtrauma.org.au 

Too often struggling mums go to get support for their mental health and are told, “its just the baby blues, it will pass” when really, it’s not the baby blues. I, Amber-lee your host, thought an episode addressing all things baby blues would be helpful to this audience so that we can have an understanding of what is normal and what is not in early postpartum. I describe what the baby blues looks like, common symptoms, hormonal fluctuations, sociocultural factors, ways to help you through it as well as when to seek help.  Remember, the baby blues are temporary and should pass within 2 weeks of experiencing symptoms. If symtpoms are persisting or worsening, it is important you seek further support as that is not that baby blues.    In this episode I talk about a hormone graph and if you would like the visual you can see it here: https://www.thepowerofbirth.net/post/understanding-the-difference-between-baby-blues-and-postnatal-depression-a-guide-for-new-mothers   This episode is for educational and informational purposes only. Please seek mental health advice from your health professionals.     You can download free resources for your emotional health when you subscribe to thepowerofbirth.net or if you head to the printable PDF page there is plenty for you to explore.   Make sure you are following @thepowerofbirth on social media too!   References: David R. Grattan, Sharon R. Ladyman, Chapter 2 – Neurophysiological and cognitive changes in pregnancy, Handbook of Clinical Neurology, Volume 171, 2020, Pages 25-55. https://www.marchofdimes.org/find-support/topics/postpartum/baby-blues-after-pregnancy#:~:text=The%20baby%20blues%20usually%20go,your%20partner%2C%20family%20and%20friends. Some information was taken from Advanced Perinatal Mood and Anxiety Disorder Training with Postpartum Support International

This episode delves into the often-overlooked world of perinatal trauma and post-traumatic growth. Your host Amber-lee Buendicho is joined by the very down-to-earth and insightful Dr. Erin Bowe, author of the book 'More Than A Healthy Baby: Finding Strength & Growth After Birth Trauma'. We talk about what led her to write this book and Dr Erin expands on some of the concepts she writes about, including her own traumatic birth and breastfeeding experiences.     We explore the complexities of perinatal trauma, including birth and breastfeeding trauma, differentiating what Dr Erin calls 'little t trauma' and 'big T trauma', the psychological mechanisms of trauma, the role of perception, and gaining an understanding of how these experiences can deeply affect a mother's and families.   One of the critical issues discussed in this episode is the tendency to dismiss mothers' experiences and struggles, often misdiagnosing their trauma as mere depression. Dr. Erin sheds light on the importance of recognising and addressing the unique challenges faced by mothers in the perinatal period, helping listeners understand the difference between trauma and other mental health issues.   We learn through Dr Erin about Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) emerges as a promising and effective therapeutic approach. Dr. Erin provides valuable insights into the workings of EMDR and its potential to facilitate healing and growth after perinatal trauma.   In the latter part of the episode, we explore the profound concept of meaning-making and how it contributes to post-traumatic growth. The conversation delves into the power of hope and resilience within motherhood, revealing that growth and strength can emerge from even the most challenging experiences and what that can look using Kintsugi as a powerful analogy. Amber-lee shares some of her personal experiences with post-traumatic growth.    Disclaimer: The content of this episode is intended for informational purposes only and should not be considered a substitute for professional medical or psychological advice.    A big thank you to The Kind Press Publishing and Dr Erin Bowe for offering some of our listeners a chance at getting their very own copy of Erin's books More Than A Healthy Baby: Finding Strength & Growth After Birth Trauma and Social Media Detox For Mums: A New Way To Find Balance - listen to this episode to find out how you can get a free copy (Australian residents only). Limited stock available.   If you or someone you know is struggling with their mental health in motherhood please consider reaching out to the wonderful support organisations within Australia: www.cope.org.au www.panda.org.au  www.birthtrauma.org.au www.gidgetfoundation.org.au  For our international listeners go to www.postpartum.net 

Join me as I sit down with Vanessa, mum and Sex Therapist from Authentic Awareness, for an eye-opening discussion on the topic of sex after having a baby. Together, we delve into the often overlooked aspects of postpartum sex and how the conventional postpartum six-week clearance from healthcare providers can be a missed opportunity for important conversations with women and couples. Throughout our conversation, we tackle a wide range of issues, starting with the fluctuation of libido and the differences in sexual desires between males and females. Vanessa, drawing from her expertise, generously shares her invaluable tips for rediscovering sensuality after becoming a mother. We address the complexities of navigating intimacy when our partner initiates sexual activity, but we find ourselves not in the mood or feeling exhausted from the demands of motherhood. We also discuss the societal pressure to prioritise intercourse over other forms of sexual connection and intimacy, and the cultural expectations of women and sex, shedding light on alternative ways to nurture and strengthen the bond between partners. Naturally, a conversation about postpartum sex wouldn't be complete without addressing birth injuries. We explore how these injuries can impact sexual experiences and provide insights into navigating this often overlooked aspect of postpartum recovery. You can find Vanessa @authenticawareness or https://authenticawareness.com.au/ You can purchase Mama’s Sensual Safari here: https://authenticawareness.com.au/courses/ Disclaimer: The information provided is for educational and informational purposes only and should not be considered a substitute for professional advice or consultation. It is important to consult with healthcare providers or qualified professionals for personalized guidance and support regarding your specific situation. 

In this powerful episode, we follow the courageous journey of Bec Black, a perinatal psychologist and mother of three, as she shares her deeply personal and traumatic experience of attempting a Homebirth After Caesarean (HBAC). Bec takes us through her emotional and physical struggle, the unforeseen challenges she faced during labour, and her transfer to the hospital. Throughout the episode, Bec opens up about the intense emotions she grappled with following her traumatic birth experience. She talks honestly about the profound struggle she encountered in accepting that her birth did not unfold as she had hoped and offers vulnerability and insight into the complex emotions that can arise when expectations clash with reality during childbirth. As a psychologist specialising in perinatal mental health, Bec also reflects on how her own journey informs her professional practice. She shares how her personal experience of birth trauma has deepened her empathy for her clients, and discusses the importance of acknowledging and addressing the emotional wounds that can arise from childbirth. The episode delves into Bec's postpartum journey as well, shedding light on the challenges she faced during this vulnerable period. She explores the impact of her birth experience on her mental and emotional wellbeing, and how she navigated the path towards healing and acceptance. Her story serves as a beacon of hope for others who may have experienced trauma during childbirth, inspiring them to seek support and reminding them that healing is possible. Join us for this heartfelt episode as we witness Bec's courage, resilience, and growth, ultimately discovering that even in the face of trauma, there can be the possibility of finding purpose and healing. The following episode contains sensitive content related to traumatic childbirth. We advise listeners to prioritise their wellbeing and exercise self-care when engaging with this content. If you find yourself in need of support or guidance, please reach out to a qualified healthcare professional or a mental health provider. You can find Bec @themindfulbirthmovement  or https://themindfulbirthmovement.com.au/