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#12 The gifts of heartbreak

#12 The gifts of heartbreak

2022-03-2701:02:25

In which I discuss some of my adventures in heartbreak, and the gifts that have come from that. Also featuring: Living in a forest, misadventures with spiders, and internalised capitalism.  About me: My name is Sage Freda and I'm a storyteller and journeyer, currently setting out on some new adventures, travelling and volunteering across South Africa with my dog. I hope you'll come along for the ride! Also, I've launched a Patreon account! If you'd like to support this podcast, and the other projects I hope to start this year, check it out at https://www.patreon.com/sagefreda. Send me questions, comments, or voice messages at sagefreda@gmail.com. My website is www.sagefreda.com, or find me on social media: Instagram and Facebook. Submission guidelines for both this podcast and my upcoming storytelling project: http://www.sagefreda.com/contact-me/ Cover art done by my talented sister, Hannah. Music by Lesfm on Pixabay.
My first podcast interview! A lot has happened since I last released an episode, chief of which is that I am now in the Lowveld mountains volunteering at a gentle place called Nyalungu Afrikan Retreat. This space and its people have been exactly what I needed right now, providing life-affirming conversations, a chance to participate in an exciting venture, and time to breathe out the anxiety of the past few months. In this interview I chat with Luzuko, travelling artist and fellow volunteer, and Nick, our host here. We talk about our life journeys, our understanding of God, about ubuntu, and about the soul's journey. You can find Luzuko's Instagram profile here, and his Youtube account here. Find Nick's Instagram profile here, and Nyalungu Afrikan Retreat's profile here. Find out more about Nick and Nichole's vegan leather business through their website.  *** About me: My name is Sage Freda and I'm a storyteller and journeyer, currently setting out on some new adventures, travelling and volunteering across South Africa with my dog. I hope you'll come along for the ride! Also, I've launched a Patreon account! If you'd like to support this podcast, and the other projects I hope to start this year, check it out at https://www.patreon.com/sagefreda. Send me questions, comments, or voice messages at sagefreda@gmail.com. My website is www.sagefreda.com, or find me on social media: Instagram and Facebook. Cover art done by my talented sister, Hannah. Music by Lesfm on Pixabay.
Growing up in a very religious setting, I had very little information about sex, sexuality, and especially masturbation. In fact, I had never even heard about masturbation until the age of 15. My own self-explorations were shrouded in shame and guilt, and only about a decade later did I manage to shake off most of the damaging stories I'd internalised as a child. In this episode I explore the toxic shame around self-pleasure that is passed on through generations; I share my own story and also those of many others' who sent me their experiences. I discuss the fact that girls never spoke about masturbation, even as boys in high schools made frequent jokes about it (and why there might be this stark difference), and explore the influence of the church and society on this. Finally I read you a few striking letters from listeners who, like me, have had complicated and painful journeys towards embracing the right to feel pleasure. Also, I've launched a Patreon account! If you'd like to support this podcast, and the other projects I hope to start this year, check it out at https://www.patreon.com/sagefreda. About me: My name is Sage Freda and I'm a storyteller and journeyer, currently setting out on some new adventures, travelling and volunteering across South Africa with my dog. I hope you'll come along for the ride! Send me questions, comments, or voice messages at sagefreda@gmail.com. My website is www.sagefreda.com, or find me on social media: Instagram and Facebook. Cover art done by my talented sister, Hannah. Music by Lesfm on Pixabay.
What a ride it's been. Life has been rolling and twisting into unexpected directions for me, and I don't think it's about to let up. So in this episode I share with you what's been happening for me. The lessons I am learning, sometimes achingly slowly. The grief and the overwhelmingly beautiful moments that have been my companions in this time. And I share with you some of my dreams and plans for the year ahead. Also, I've launched a Patreon account! If you'd like to support this podcast, and the other projects I hope to start this year, check it out at https://www.patreon.com/sagefreda. About me: My name is Sage Freda and I'm a storyteller and journeyer, currently setting out on some new adventures, travelling and volunteering across South Africa with my dog. I hope you'll come along for the ride! Send me questions, comments, or voice messages at sagefreda@gmail.com. My website is www.sagefreda.com, or find me on social media: Instagram and Facebook. Cover art done by my talented sister, Hannah. Music by Lesfm on Pixabay.
Just when I thought I was getting my act together, Life snuck up on me and took me on a winding journey into the underworld. This is the story of what I'm hearing, seeing, and feeling there. It's about wrestling with prayer, wondering about what's next, and saying my goodbyes to life as I have known it. In this episode I mention the content creator Purity to Polyamory, writer Sophie Strand's wonderful essay 'The body is a doorway', and Martha Beck and Rowan Mangan's podcast 'Bewildered', which is bewilderingly funny. I recommend giving all three a follow.  About me: My name is Sage Freda and I'm a storyteller and journeyer who currently lives on a farm in South Africa with my dog and too many books. I am setting out on some new adventures soon and hope you'll come along for the ride! Send me questions, comments, or voice messages at sagefreda@gmail.com. My website is www.sagefreda.com, or find me on social media: Instagram and Facebook. Cover art done by my talented sister, Hannah. Music by Lesfm on Pixabay.
Grief caught me unawares this past month, and it's been a strange and beautiful journey. In this episode I talk about my grandpa, who passed away recently, about my forefathers, and about grappling with my heritage. I explore the aloneness I have been sitting with recently, and the joy I have somehow experienced in this process. I also read you a piece of my writing that was recently published in The Dark Mountain Project's annual publication (Issue 20: Abyss), titled 'Do not avert your eyes'. About me: My name is Sage Freda and I'm a storyteller and journeyer who currently lives on a farm in South Africa with my dog and too many books. I am setting out on some new adventures soon and hope you'll come along for the ride! Send me questions, comments, or voice messages at sagefreda@gmail.com. My website is www.sagefreda.com, or find me on social media: Instagram and Facebook. Cover art done by my talented sister, Hannah. Music by Lesfm on Pixabay.
I've spent most of my life either feeling ashamed of or resolutely ignoring my body. However, over the past few years I've come to integrate more and more my physical being into my sense of self, and have learned that my body holds a lot of truth. I am still relearning how to honour myself through honouring my body, and this is taking me into scary new adventures. In this episode I give you an update on these new adventures, both physical ones (quitting my job, aaargh!) and inward ones.  I quote Clementine Morrigan in this episode, a writer who writes mainly about trauma-informed polyamory and cancel culture. You can follow her on Instagram at @clementinemorrigan.  About me: My name is Sage Freda and I'm a storyteller and journeyer who currently lives on a farm in South Africa with my dog and too many books. I am setting out on some new adventures soon and hope you'll come along for the ride! Send me questions, comments, or voice messages at sagefreda@gmail.com. My website is www.sagefreda.com, and my social media: Instagram and Facebook. Cover art done by my talented sister, Hannah. Music by Lesfm on Pixabay. Song at the end: 'Hello my old heart' by The Oh Hellos.
#5 Intimacy and shame

#5 Intimacy and shame

2021-09-1555:07

Recently I've been thinking about how intimacy often goes hand in hand with searing vulnerability and even shame. So in this episode I explore that experience; I ask what intimacy really is, and play a message from a friend about conflating intimacy with sex, and relearning intimacy in adulthood. I share some recent embarrassing moments from my life, and the fears those awoke in me. I also talk about the heritages of shame and self-denial that are passed on to us from our ancestors, and discuss how I have witnessed that in my own family. About me: My name is Sage Freda and I'm a storyteller and journeyer who currently lives on a farm in South Africa with my dog and too many books. I am setting out on some new adventures soon and hope you'll come along for the ride! Send me questions, comments, or voice messages at sagefreda@gmail.com. My website is www.sagefreda.com, and my social media: Instagram and Facebook. Cover art done by my talented sister, Hannah. Music by Lesfm on Pixabay.
The dream of finding The One has been with us since at least the story of Adam and Eve, and for most of us it touches on some of our most fundamental beliefs. In this episode I look at the effect that Christianity had on my childhood romantic dreams, and at how it shapes society at large's monogamous ideals. I chat about how we might reimagine relationships if we stopped viewing them in a moralistic light; and I play a voice message by a listener, James, which delves into loneliness, religion, and connectedness. I end off by reading listeners' moving definitions of 'being in love'.  Podcasts mentioned: The art of asking everything, and Tara Brach. Books mentioned: Sex at dawn, and Untrue. About me: My name is Sage Freda and I'm a storyteller and journeyer who currently lives on a farm in South Africa with my dog and too many books. I am setting out on some new adventures soon and hope you'll come along for the ride! Send me questions, comments, or voice messages at sagefreda@gmail.com. My website is www.sagefreda.com, and my social media: Instagram and Facebook. Cover art done by my talented sister, Hannah. Music by Lesfm on Pixabay.
In this episode I have a rant about menstruation and birth control - and people's opinions about that - and then another rant about using antidepressants - and people's opinions about that. I also talk about the difference between feeling resistance and feeling a clear 'no'. Finally I wonder what it actually means to be 'in love', and expand on some of my recent experiences with relationship anarchy.  If you're interested, here are some posts I've written about non-monogamy: here, and here. My Instagram handle is @sagefreda89, and my Facebook page is sagefreda89. Or send me an email at sagefreda@gmail.com  Podcast cover art was done by my talented sister, Hannah.  Music by Lesfm on Pixabay.
#2 Strange Beginnings

#2 Strange Beginnings

2021-08-1548:33

I start this episode off by telling you about some of the doubts and fears I've been experiencing recently, and what resources I am using to support me in this time. I discuss the use of antidepressants, EMDR, and reference Bessel van der Kolk's book 'The body keeps the score'.  I then open up about my childhood, starting with when my parents met, moved to France and had me and my siblings there. I talk about my developmental and religious trauma, listing some of the negative beliefs I have internalised as a result, and how they have impacted my relationships.  About me: My name is Sage Freda and I'm a storyteller and journeyer who currently lives on a farm in South Africa with my dog and too many books. I am setting out on  some new adventures soon and hope you'll come along for the ride! Send me questions or voice messages at sagefreda@gmail.com. My website is at www.sagefreda.com, and social media: Instagram and Facebook.  Cover art done by my talented sister, Hannah.  Music by Lesfm on Pixabay.
#1 First Reflections

#1 First Reflections

2021-08-1529:03

Welcome to the very first episode of Case Files of a Fool for Love! In this episode I introduce myself and chat about what I hope to do with this podcast: To share about my colourful journey from fundamentalist Christianity all the way through to practicing relationship anarchy today. I start the conversation in the hopes that you'll soon join with your questions and stories too. I define relationship anarchy, and then tell you a little bit about my own life and mental health journey too.  About me: My name is Sage Freda and I'm a storyteller and journeyer who lives on a farm in South Africa with my dog and too many books. I am setting out on some new adventures soon and hope to bring you along for the ride! Here are the links to my website: www.sagefreda.com And to my social media: Instagram and Facebook.  You can find Andie Nordgren's Manifesto for Relationship Anarchy here. Cover art done by my talented sister, Hannah. Intro song by Lesfm on Pixabay.
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