Claim OwnershipChaos to Connected - Helping Parents Navigate Challenging Behavior with Connection; Christian moms, behavior management, positive parenting, discipline, tantrums, aggression, biblical parenting
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Do you feel like your child’s whining and tantrums are out of control? Are you wondering if what you’re seeing is actually normal? Do you feel like you are at your wits end, walking on eggshells, and/or just don’t know what to do anymore? Or maybe you feel exhausted and frustrated trying to manage your own triggers because you keep repeating the same yelling and lecturing cycle over and over again. Are you desperately trying to get your child to use a calming strategy but he/she refuses or it’s just not working? If you nodded along with any of that, you’re in the right place!
Hi, I’m Kaili, pediatric occupational therapist, connection focused parent coach, and momma to 3 sweet littles. Back in 2020, I started an in-home daycare so I could stay home with my kids while making an income and let’s just say it didn’t go as planned. My oldest became very aggressive, something he had never been before. I tried all of the calming strategies and creating different spaces for him and NONE of it worked. I was really struggling because that is all I had been teaching other families to do for the last decade and to find out it wasn’t helping left me feeling even more hopeless.
When I finally found the solution that transformed our family’s lives, I knew I needed to share it with other families in hopes they wouldn’t feel alone, emotionally exhausted, and spend their days wishing for naptime/bedtime like I had been.
I created this podcast to give you tangible strategies to decrease your child’s behavior and also help you to learn to manage and resolve your own triggers. This podcast will help you gain more awareness and insights into child development and the root cause of your child’s behavior as well as help you break generational patterning that isn’t serving you.
Inside this podcast you will find episodes filled with tips, tools, perspective shifts, and biblical truth to help you throughout your motherhood journey. Most of what I share is going to go against your natural responses and what mainstream will tell you to do, but that is because it includes what most of society is missing when they look at children and their behavior…CONNECTION. It is a vital necessity for all of us to operate out of our thinking brains and use logic, problem solving, reasoning, judgment, and impulse control, specifically when it comes to our responses and behaviors. While these strategies can be implemented for all ages, I focus primarily on 1-10 year olds since that is what I have most personal and professional experience with.
If you want to stop feeling overwhelmed, stuck, and on the verge of your breaking point and truly make shifts in your parenting, your actions, thoughts, and responses, to gain more clarity, peace, and joy in your home, then let’s get to it!
I know it can feel hard to step into the unknown, especially because you feel like you’ve tried it all, and honestly sometimes it feels easier to stay in a harder place because it’s familiar. But it’s not what God has for you or your child(ren). So take a minute, breathe deeply, and then join me as we jump into managing behaviors with connection!
XO Kaili
Connect with me: hello@kailizcoaching.com
Join my weekly newsletter: https://chaostoconnected.myflodesk.com/cvuin24b94
Website + Coaching Opportunities: https://stan.store/KJZ112815
Hi, I’m Kaili, pediatric occupational therapist, connection focused parent coach, and momma to 3 sweet littles. Back in 2020, I started an in-home daycare so I could stay home with my kids while making an income and let’s just say it didn’t go as planned. My oldest became very aggressive, something he had never been before. I tried all of the calming strategies and creating different spaces for him and NONE of it worked. I was really struggling because that is all I had been teaching other families to do for the last decade and to find out it wasn’t helping left me feeling even more hopeless.
When I finally found the solution that transformed our family’s lives, I knew I needed to share it with other families in hopes they wouldn’t feel alone, emotionally exhausted, and spend their days wishing for naptime/bedtime like I had been.
I created this podcast to give you tangible strategies to decrease your child’s behavior and also help you to learn to manage and resolve your own triggers. This podcast will help you gain more awareness and insights into child development and the root cause of your child’s behavior as well as help you break generational patterning that isn’t serving you.
Inside this podcast you will find episodes filled with tips, tools, perspective shifts, and biblical truth to help you throughout your motherhood journey. Most of what I share is going to go against your natural responses and what mainstream will tell you to do, but that is because it includes what most of society is missing when they look at children and their behavior…CONNECTION. It is a vital necessity for all of us to operate out of our thinking brains and use logic, problem solving, reasoning, judgment, and impulse control, specifically when it comes to our responses and behaviors. While these strategies can be implemented for all ages, I focus primarily on 1-10 year olds since that is what I have most personal and professional experience with.
If you want to stop feeling overwhelmed, stuck, and on the verge of your breaking point and truly make shifts in your parenting, your actions, thoughts, and responses, to gain more clarity, peace, and joy in your home, then let’s get to it!
I know it can feel hard to step into the unknown, especially because you feel like you’ve tried it all, and honestly sometimes it feels easier to stay in a harder place because it’s familiar. But it’s not what God has for you or your child(ren). So take a minute, breathe deeply, and then join me as we jump into managing behaviors with connection!
XO Kaili
Connect with me: hello@kailizcoaching.com
Join my weekly newsletter: https://chaostoconnected.myflodesk.com/cvuin24b94
Website + Coaching Opportunities: https://stan.store/KJZ112815
142 Episodes
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Don't forget to get my Chaos to Calm: Conquering Aggressive Behavior course (currently $197) for FREE!! Here's what to do: leave a rating and review, screenshot it and email it to hello@kailizcoaching.com. That's it!
Do you ever struggle with what you should say to your child? Maybe it's during a meltdown or a difficult situation and you want your child to feel heard and validated.
Have you seen the posts all over IG and FB telling you what to say when...?
Today, I'm here to tell you while it can feel like a good starting point, you don't need any scripts because:
1. You likely won't remember them anyway
2. There won't be a post/script about every situation you encounter.
Tune in to hear how you can use this one simple strategy, conversation, to determine what the "right" thing to say is for whatever situation, scenario, or behavior you encounter!
I'd love to hear from you and connect! Email me and let's chat! hello@kailizcoaching.com
For more info re: 1:1 coaching options on a budget, check out the details here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/16t3FiRw4n8to4bMEreC_jLgYZJo4VWtsyyd_8iVnX6g/edit?usp=sharing
Hey there, I'm so excited to announce that the Chaos to Connected podcast is coming back!!!
I took a break about 6 months ago and had no idea whether I'd be back or not, but I'm making some big pivots and wanted to share them with you today.
New episodes will begin airing in September when I re-launch, but in the meantime I would LOVE to hear from you! What questions do you have? What topics do you want to deep dive into? What's your biggest struggle right now?
I also wanted to do something fun before episodes resume; if you write a review over on apple podcasts, take a screen shot and send it to me (hello@kailizcoaching.com) I am going to send you my Chaos to Calm: Conquering Aggressive Behaviors course for FREE! (currently $197)
This course dives into why physical behaviors are actually occurring, gives you a step by step guide on what to actually do about them, and FAQs that families have consistently asked me to help you even more!
And you can, of course, binge past episodes.
I'm going to be doing some extra fun things inside of my emails too because I really want to be able to create more community and a place where you feel safe and seen. So if you'd like to subscribe and get weekly insights, encouragement reminders, AND bonus sneak peaks/mini coaching insights and be the first to actually hear the podcasts each week, you can do so here: https://chaostoconnected.myflodesk.com/cvuin24b94
I can't wait to be back each week walking this motherhood journey with you!
XO
Kaili
It can be really easy, especially when you are parenting a child who is struggling with behavior or lots of strong emotions, to forget that your child is just a mini version of you. While life experience and higher level executive functioning skills aren't the same, the way the brain processes and responds to hurts is.
It can be easy to forget this when you are triggered from behavior so today, I want to share how parents/caregivers are more like their child than not.
Ep on Apologizing: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/chaos-to-connected-helping-parents-navigate-challenging/id1609008872?i=1000613660033
Tame Your Triggers Masterclass: https://chaostoconnected.myflodesk.com/mju18pgf63
Connect with me here: https://www.instagram.com/kailijozeiher/ or kjzeiher@gmail.com.
XO
Kaili
One of the most common questions I get asked is what types of deep input activities I would recommend for a child who acts or plays aggressively (hitting, kicking, throwing, etc). Previously, I would go into detail on how to incorporate into a sensory diet, but now, through additional training and experience I recognize that this alone isn't the answer.
Today, I share how sensory processing works and how to bridge the gap effectively AND efficiently between the behaviors you are seeing and improved regulation!
*If you have any questions as to if your child has a true sensory processing disorder, email me or seek out a local OT for assessment.
Tame Your Triggers Masterclass: https://chaostoconnected.myflodesk.com/mju18pgf63
Connect with me here: https://www.instagram.com/kailijozeiher/ or kjzeiher@gmail.com.
XO
Kaili
If you're a mom to more than one child you've probably experienced one child's excitement over a birthday while another child was less than happy about it. Having to wait for all of the attention and presents can be a big challenge for kids and it does matter how you handle it.
If you are someone that gets the other child a present too or you wonder if that's the "right" thing to do, I wanted to shed some connection focused perspective light on the situation!
Tame Your Triggers Masterclass: https://chaostoconnected.myflodesk.com/mju18pgf63
Do you want help managing your triggers in the heat of the moment: https://chaostoconnected.myflodesk.com/r49k9ws9dp
Connect with me here: https://www.instagram.com/kailijozeiher/ or kjzeiher@gmail.com.
XO
Kaili
Do you ever feel like the attitudes, the whining, and the fighting sometimes just really over take your entire home?
That's how I felt 2 weeks ago. I decided something needed to change and I discovered ONE thing that makes all the difference.
We moved from constant sibling fighting, frequent whining, hitting/kicking/pinching to try and solve problems, and me feeling a lot of annoyance, anger, and frequently triggered to so much peace, more self control and regulation, and best of all more fun and enjoyment just being together!
Today I dive into what changed and how you can replicate it in your home too!
Do you want help managing your triggers in the heat of the moment: https://chaostoconnected.myflodesk.com/r49k9ws9dp
Connect with me here: https://www.instagram.com/kailijozeiher/ or kjzeiher@gmail.com.
XO
Kaili
Last week, I asked what was the hardest thing about connection focused parenting; one of the responses I received was that when feeling exhausted it was especially hard to try to respond to behaviors positively or with connection.
I. Hear. That.!!!
Today, I wanted to share what to do if you're finding yourself in this same situation...and you might be surprised by my recommendation!
If this episode, or any episode you've previously listened to you has blessed or helped you, would you be willing to go and leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts? I know mommas all over the world are searching for tangible, simple strategies to help improve behavior without using punishments, rewards, and manipulation to achieve it. Your willingness to take a minute to share will help other mommas find this information easier!
Connect with me here: https://www.instagram.com/kailijozeiher/ or kjzeiher@gmail.com.
XO
Kaili
Do your kids struggle to get along? It can be really disheartening, patience testing, and frustrating when your kids just can't seem to figure out how to play together for 5 minutes!
But the good news?! You can help! Today, I dive into 3 keys to approaching sibling conflict in a connection focused way that will help model and reinforce this approach for them in future scenarios that involve disagreements!
If you have found this episode, or any episode, helpful, I'd love if you'd be willing to take just 1 minute and go leave a rating or review!
Connect with me here: https://www.instagram.com/kailijozeiher/ or kjzeiher@gmail.com.
XO
Kaili
There is so much out there when it comes to how you "should" respond to your child's behavior or the "right" thing to say for xyz situation. But who can remember all of that?
Plus, what if said account or expert never told you what to do for the specific situation you are dealing with? Let the panic set in!
No, don't do that.
Instead, listen in today as I share one piece of advice that will transcend all behaviors and situations to help you figure out what it is that feels aligned with how YOU want to manage whatever attitude or button pushing behavior comes your way! No scripts needed!
Connect with me here: https://www.instagram.com/kailijozeiher/ or kjzeiher@gmail.com.
XO
Kaili
One of the biggest challenges I continue to hear over and over from moms is that the behavior can be a struggle, yes, but overall it's figuring out how to stay calm through that behavior that poses the biggest obstacle.
Today, I wanted to share some insights with you! If you are aware of what your triggers are but haven't yet processed them, or even know how to do that, I am walking you through the 4 things I have done (and still occasionally do) to help me come with more love, empathy, and understanding to those challenging and button pushing behaviors.
I was reading a book recently and the author talked about ruts and trenches. The ruts being our automatic responses; your reaction to your child (one you likely feel guilty or upset about later but can't seem to change). The trenches being your conscious choice to do something different. A rut is something you get stuck in but a trench is something you dig. Let's start digging those trenches!!
And if you want some help and encouragement along the way, join my monthly membership The Motherhood CONNECTION: https://view.flodesk.com/emails/65977fa029eaba0244c4dd66
Affiliate link (25% off) for oil + capsule: https://doterra.me/H1ZS3U
Magnesium: https://www.pureencapsulationspro.com/magnesium-glycinate.html?size=90%20capsules
XO
Kaili
I hosted a challenge last weekend called 3 Building Blocks to Better Behavior and it was so much fun! If you weren't able to join and you want to get the replays + resources, send me an email or DM me over on IG. Only available through January 21st!
Today, I wanted to share one of those trainings with you because I think it's a key factor in your child's ability to learn to self-regulate (well, they all are, but this one I think is very misunderstood).
Tune in as I walk you through the progression of a child learning to regulate and how you can actually, successfully begin the process of teaching your child how to adjust his/her regulation based on state of arousal and taking into consideration his/her unique sensory preferences.
The Motherhood CONNECTION: a monthly membership for moms who want to break generational patterning, parent from connection, and have the support of other moms in the trenches. (first 10 receive a FREE behavior strategy call; $50 off through January 31st!) https://view.flodesk.com/emails/65977fa029eaba0244c4dd66
Connect with me here: https://www.instagram.com/kailijozeiher/ or kjzeiher@gmail.com.
XO
Kaili
Happy New Year!
Even though everyone is talking about goals and resolutions for the new year I do think it's a great natural time to evaluate a few things in motherhood...
*how do you feel like you're managing your triggers?
*are you feeling overwhelmed, emotionally exhausted, and/or struggling regularly with more frustration than enjoyment in motherhood?
*is your child struggling with behavior or attitude?
*do you feel like you are connecting regularly with your child? or is it lacking because your schedule is really busy?
*does your home feel chaotic?
*do you feel like you have good rhythms in place?
*are you regularly practicing soul care vs only selfcare?
Tune in today as I chat what we are going to be focusing on this year!
Free 3 Day Behavior Challenge: https://lively-acorn-593.myflodesk.com/v2dcr5625t
Connect with me here: https://www.instagram.com/kailijozeiher/ or kjzeiher@gmail.com.
XO
Kaili
Do you ever feel like sometimes you'd just rather not go and do the things because you know the behavior that will happen afterwards?
Or do you ever struggle to know what to do when your child has a tantrum in the middle of the holiday gathering?
Or do you find it really challenging to manage your child's behaviors and your responses to them when you are also overwhelmed or overtired?
Today, I talk through 3 strategies, tips, and perspective shifts you can rely on during these times of heightened excitement and stimulation to combat that holiday behavior hangover.
If you enjoyed this episode or found it helpful, I'd love if you would take a minute to leave a rating and review!
3 Ways You Might Be Unintentionally Stopping Your Child From Releasing Big Feelings: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/chaos-to-connected-helping-parents-navigate-challenging/id1609008872?i=1000565110255
Free 3 Day Behavior Challenge: https://lively-acorn-593.myflodesk.com/v2dcr5625t
Chaos to Calm mini course: A Step by Step Guide to Aggressive/Physical Behaviors https://dawn-term-318.myflodesk.com
Schedule a behavior strategy call here: https://calendly.com/kjzeiher/behavior-call
Connect with me here: https://www.instagram.com/kailijozeiher/ or kjzeiher@gmail.com.
XO
Kaili
Today, my chat with Maureen from Yes Peas Nutrition continues!
We cover:
-strategies to make meal planning and meal prep less overwhelming
-tips to encourage your child to eat a wider variety of food during your meal planning and prep
-holiday food
-navigating sugar with your child(ren) during the holidays
**and MORE!
Find her at: @yespeasnutrition over on IG or her website: https://www.yespeasnutrition.com/
Grab her free resource - 5 Tips for Busy Parents: Decrease Stress and Increase Family Connection When Making Meals From Home here: https://pages.maureenclilly.com/guide-1
Join her facebook group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1088016261913914/
______________________
Free 3 Day Behavior Challenge: https://lively-acorn-593.myflodesk.com/v2dcr5625t
Chaos to Calm mini course: A Step by Step Guide to Aggressive/Physical Behaviors https://dawn-term-318.myflodesk.com
Want to schedule an info call and see if 1:1 coaching is right for you?? https://calendly.com/kjzeiher/behavior-call
Connect with me here: https://www.instagram.com/kailijozeiher/ or kjzeiher@gmail.com.
XO
Kaili
Do you ever struggle with a child who refuses to eat what you've made for supper?
Have you tried the..."eat x amount of bites before you can..." either have more of something already finished or something else entirely?
Today, I chat with Maureen, a mom and nutritionist who breaks down mealtimes for us in a way that perfectly parallels the way in which I encourage you to respond to behaviors...with safety and connection.
Tune in as she talks about the normal "picky eating" phase of development, tips and strategies to implement, and how to navigate it all while helping your child create a healthy relationship with food!
Find her at: @yespeasnutrition over on IG or her website: https://www.yespeasnutrition.com/
Grab her free resource - 5 Tips for Busy Parents: Decrease Stress and Increase Family Connection When Making Meals From Home here: https://pages.maureenclilly.com/guide-1
Join her facebook group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1088016261913914/
______________________
Chaos to Calm mini course: A Step by Step Guide to Aggressive/Physical Behaviors https://dawn-term-318.myflodesk.com
Want to schedule an info call and see if 1:1 coaching is right for you?? https://calendly.com/kjzeiher/behavior-call
Connect with me here: https://www.instagram.com/kailijozeiher/ or kjzeiher@gmail.com.
XO
Kaili
Have you heard of Elf on the Shelf??
What am I saying? Of course you have!
Are you currently doing it? Or Shepherd on the Search?
Last year, my thoughts were completely different so today I wanted to dive into the topic a little further.
Tune in as I share 2 things you should stay away from if you are going to participate! As well as modifications if you are needing something extra simple this year!
Are you using Santa to manipulate behavior? https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/chaos-to-connected-helping-parents-navigate-challenging/id1609008872?i=1000589024177
Google doc with ideas: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1aytCkf_KlB0i7L9RxuSfYpS_X-MiDPeI0QvOInfgAOg/edit?usp=sharing
Chaos to Calm mini course: https://dawn-term-318.myflodesk.com
Want to schedule an info call and see if 1:1 coaching is right for you?? https://calendly.com/kjzeiher/behavior-call
Connect with me here: https://www.instagram.com/kailijozeiher/ or kjzeiher@gmail.com.
XO
Kaili
If you're like me, you are in a current season of motherhood overwhelm; whether it's due to behaviors or life circumstances there are a few strategies I've been working on implementing that I hope will bless you too!
Do you have any other recommendations? Share them here: kjzeiher@gmail.com
Chaos to Calm mini course: https://dawn-term-318.myflodesk.com
Want to schedule an info call and see if 1:1 coaching is right for you?? https://calendly.com/kjzeiher/behavior-call
Connect with me here: https://www.instagram.com/kailijozeiher/
XO
Kaili
Timeouts are such a common practice when parents are trying to get their kids to listen; I would even venture to guess it's a recommendation from professionals and something regularly talked about as a helpful behavior strategy on the internet.
But, did you know that sending your child off to a timeout is creating more disconnection. When there is disconnection, your child's "thinking" brain is inaccessible. This creates MORE of the unwanted behavior.
Instead, get CONNECTED! Connection = better behavior.
Tune in today as I share your child's perspective on timeouts and 2 strategies you can utilize instead that creates connection.
Chaos to Calm mini course: https://dawn-term-318.myflodesk.com
Stay Listening episode: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/chaos-to-connected-helping-parents-navigate-challenging/id1609008872?i=1000554474011
Are you really okay with crying episode: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/chaos-to-connected-helping-parents-navigate-challenging/id1609008872?i=1000565110255
Want to schedule an info call and see if 1:1 coaching is right for you?? https://calendly.com/kjzeiher/behavior-call
Connect with me here: https://www.instagram.com/kailijozeiher/ or if you'd prefer email at kjzeiher@gmail.com.
XO
Kaili
If you need a step by step guide to (nearly) eliminating your child's aggressive/physical behaviors, check the show notes.
If you're not ready to jump all in or you don't feel like you can maintain your cool, try the strategy I share about in today's episode.
It may push you outside of your comfort zone or the societal norm for managing this kind of behavior, but I guarantee you'll get results AND it's fun! It builds connection, helps process emotions/big feelings and improves behavior!
Aggression Mini Course waitlist -- join waitlist and you will have the opportunity for a FREE week of voxer following purchase of the course! only available to those on the waitlist!
Add your email here:
https://lively-acorn-593.myflodesk.com/izgtp1vnyk
Flip the Switch Ideas: file:///Users/kailizeiher/Downloads/FLIPTHESWITCH%20(1).pdf
Want to schedule an info call and see if 1:1 coaching is right for you?? https://calendly.com/kjzeiher/behavior-call
Connect with me here: https://www.instagram.com/kailijozeiher/ or if you'd prefer email at kjzeiher@gmail.com.
XO
Kaili
Do you struggle to bring your child out in public because he/she runs from you?
Do you get frustrated and try to utilize manipulation strategies (consequences/threats, bribes) to get the behavior you want and find it doesn't work? Or not consistently anyway?
Have you or have you thought about buying a "leash" for your child because you just need to be sure your child is safe while you are out in a parking lot or public space?
If you said yes to any of these, then be sure to tune in to today's episode; I walk you through a step by step process of what to do if you have a runner.
Plus, you will get 2 BONUS tips that will help your child develop impulse control and safety awareness.
Aggression Mini Course waitlist -- join waitlist and you will have the opportunity for a FREE week of voxer following purchase of the course! only available to those on the waitlist!
Add your email here:
https://lively-acorn-593.myflodesk.com/izgtp1vnyk
Want to schedule an info call and see if 1:1 coaching is right for you?? https://calendly.com/kjzeiher/behavior-call
Connect with me here: https://www.instagram.com/kailijozeiher/ or if you'd prefer email at kjzeiher@gmail.com.
XO
Kaili
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