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Cinephobe

Author: Count The Dings

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Welcome to Cinephobe: The Podcast where Zach Harper, Amin Elhassan and Anthony Mayes review movies that are poorly rated on Rotten Tomatoes, and try to ascertain whether or not those movies are accurately poorly rated, or maybe just didn’t get a fair shake. Cinephobe! Wherever you get Podcasts!
105 Episodes
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Zach, Amin and Mayes have been recruited into the League of Expository Podcasters for this turn of the century dieselpunk superhero romp. Whether you're invincible, invisible, a blood thirsty vampire or just keeping the demons inside of you at bay, board the Nautilus and see just how deep we can dive into the depths of terrible movies before we never come back up.
Zach, Amin and Mayes are breaking out the 2,000 year old bottles of wine and french accents for the first sequel in Cinephobe history where we actually watched the original first. The boys are back in the Cage to team up with a black french alcoholic priest that's kind of a dick to help the devil's baby mama save her son.
Zach and Amin's segment from last weekend's LeBatard Show 24 hour live stream marathon. First they interviewed Method Man about How High and more, then Adam McKay and Neal Brennan chatted about politics and comedy, while occasionally discussing the 2009 film The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard with the guys.
Zach, Amin and Mayes are joined by comedian Erin Darling Torralva to discuss blind dating (dating actual blind people), comic con culture, romantic rooftops and orphans to see if Justice really is Blind after all.
Cinephobe Ep 85: Daredevil

Cinephobe Ep 85: Daredevil

2021-06-0201:48:48

Zach, Amin and Mayes are the finest blind podcasters in Hell's Kitchen. They'll tangle with an accurate irishman employed by a burly businessman and find love on a see saw along the way. Also there's a whole director's cut featuring Coolio! Justice is blind, but it can be heard.
Zach, Amin and Mayes are joined once again by the Draft Queen Valerie Le Batard to play darts and work out our glamour muscles while planning the greatest Christmas heist in movie history.
Zach, Amin and Mayes are fresh out of the joint and headed straight to a casino for the heist of the holiday season. Grab your goddamn hot chocolate and some pecan fuckin pie, raid the mini bar, order some pay per views and listen to the only podcast that has both Coke AND Pepsi.
Zach, Amin and Mayes continue to search for the kryptonite that will weaken this podcast enough to kill it. This foray into the Snyderverse may well be our Doomsday, so grab your mason jar of granny's peach tea, jump in the bath fully clothed, and settle in for the ultimate edition of this podcast. Am I too soon?
Cinephobe Ep 82: Armageddon

Cinephobe Ep 82: Armageddon

2021-05-1201:49:44

Zach, Amin and Mayes are deep core podcasters charged with blowing up an asteroid the size of Texas before it destroys the Earth. They'll have to overcome an unhinged Russian cosmonaut, Space Dementia, a sentient growling asteroid, Explosition and Ben Affleck to complete their mission before the countdown clock runs out. Baysplode!
Zach, Amin and Mayes are podcast assassins after Jeremy Piven's heart for the punchline of $1 million. It's a death race to the penthouse of a Lake Tahoe hotel, where coke addicted magician Buddy 'Aces' Israel is waiting to get smoked. Will anyone make it out of the elevator alive?
Zach, Amin and Mayes are joined by the Draft Queen Valerie Le Batard on her birthday to review the exhibits and pass final judgment on the landmark sexual harassment case between Michael Douglas and Demi Moore.
Cinephobe Ep 80: Disclosure

Cinephobe Ep 80: Disclosure

2021-04-2801:53:50

Zach, Amin and Mayes were expecting a promotion in the wake of an impending merger, but are passed over for an old flame looking to rekindle their explosive relationship. Will they resist temptation and remain faithful, or succumb to their patriarchal urges and exercise their dominance, destroying their families in the process? We can't disclose the outcome, listen to this podcast recorded on a random answering machine to find out.
Zach, Amin and Mayes strike back just in time for the release of the new Mortal Kombat reboot, bringing in Mike Ryan, Executive Producer of The LeBatard Show with Stugotz to unlock fatalities. Half the actors are different, the special effects are more like conventional effects, the costumes come from the bargain bin and it's only a ninety minute movie, but somehow we spent over two hours breaking it down.
Cinephobe Ep 79: Hook

Cinephobe Ep 79: Hook

2021-04-2101:57:44

Zach, Amin and Mayes sprinkle themselves with pixie dust for the flight back to Neverland, where the food is imaginary but the stakes have never been higher. Captain Hook is having an identity crisis, Peter Pan is an absentee father, Tinkerbell has been harboring obsessive feelings for nearly a century and Rufio is the first emo kid ever. This podcast can fly, fight and crow. Bangarang!
Cinephobe Ep 78: Envy

Cinephobe Ep 78: Envy

2021-04-1401:19:591

Zach, Amin and Mayes are back with a revolutionary new invention: Va-Pod-Rize, the podcast that makes all other podcasts disappear. Whether you dream of running for the little congress, finishing every meal with delicious flan, or building the white house in your cul de sac, c'est la vie, as the Romans say.
Cinephobe Ep 77: Anaconda

Cinephobe Ep 77: Anaconda

2021-04-0701:27:081

Zach, Amin and Mayes are failed Paraguayan priests who have found a new calling: podcasting about snakes. In their quest to find the lost Shirishama tribe along the Amazon river, they must survive poisonousss waspsss, urethral catfish, jungle horniness and gigantic spring loaded anacondas. Five Whiskeys? That's breakfast on the river.
Zach, Amin and Mayes are running barefoot through Times Square to catch your chariot and deliver this podcast. Hercules leaves Mount Olympus for Spring Break and hits the town with the help of a humble pretzel salesman. We close out Arnold month with Arnold's first movie ever to show just how far his accent has come, and boy is Arnold a comer.
Zach, Amin and Mayes return to Gotham City to find out if the Iceman really cometh after all. Will Poison Ivy push the Green New Deal through congress? Can Batgirl crack Alfred's three letter password? Is Bane capable of stringing a sentence together? What song sent Amin down a youtube rabbit hole? The answers to all those questions and more in the thrilling conclusion to this two parter.
Zach, Amin and Mayes are rubbing ice cubes on their bat nipples to prepare for the onslaught of ice puns unleashed by Arnold as Dr. Victor Fries terrorizes Gotham. This movie put the Batman Franchise into cryogenic sleep for 8 years until Christopher Nolan found the cure for Schumacher Syndrome. Assemble your own Un-United Nations and hit Bane's turbo button, you've only got eleven minutes to thaw this podcast and listen before it's frozen forever.
Zach, Amin, Mayes and special guest JuJu Gotti usually work alone, but they've burned their credit cards and random baby photos in order to record this episode incognito. Arnold month continues with this movie overflowing with outrageous stunts, James Caan's smugness, light speed bullets and voracious luggage. Hurry up and listen to this podcast before it gets Erased.
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Comments (1)

Neil Lewis

IMPORTANT CORRECTION: G-Force is NOT a movie about hamsters in space. It is, however, a movie about guinea pigs in space, hence the G in the title. Thank you for your understanding.

Jun 10th
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