Coming Up for Air — A Toolkit to Help with Your Loved One's Recovery from Addiction & Mental Illness

In this closer look at Module 5, you’ll learn a tenet of CRAFT – rewarding positive behavior and removing rewards for negative behavior. When it comes to “using,” the moment-by-moment details become important. Your job is increasing your awareness by witnessing and noticing your loved one’s behavior. “Using” is really a larger term including before, during, and after interacting with a substance. Everything else is “not using.” When there are periods, maybe tiny ones, of not using, move in with gentle, quiet rewards of connection. It’s important, too, to learn how to calm your system enough to do this process. It’s all trial and error, so don’t judge yourself for not doing it right. But do notice how what you’re doing makes an impact. Check out Module 5 for more.

The rest of our interview with Jaclyn Brown, a podcast host and voice  for advocacy. In part 1, she discussed losing her brother to addiction.  In part 2, she discusses the aftermath, and what she does to create  space in her own life for her ongoing grief.

Kayla asks the Families Speak podcasters to look back at their entire journey. Where did they begin this journey, where are they now, how would they describe their journey, what has changed, what have they learned? The family members who speak to you via the Families Speak series are people on a journey with Loved Ones who struggle with addiction and mental health. Listen to them as they reflect on the up’s, the down’s, and the learning curve of the Love Warriors path they’ve taken. What qualities have they cultivated throughout the journey, and what do we have to learn from them?** The support group that Kayla facilitates is now offered on a sliding scale. • Wednesdays at 6:30pm ET • Email kaylacraftgroup@gmail.com to join or learn more(Cost should not be a barrier— please reach out if you're interested)In our FAMILIES Speak series, psychotherapist Kayla Solomon invites members from the support group she facilitates for Allies in Recovery to share their experiences navigating addiction in the family. These parents have faced similar struggles to so many others—but with Allies in Recovery, they’ve found a new way forward.

Worry is universal, yet it’s also damaging to ourselves and our relationships. Suzanne aptly refers to the “chem trails” we put out when we’re in a state of anxiety-fear-worry. Jody remarks that worrying and the energy it gives off “is the biggest repellent… when I’m in that state, I am sending all the wrong signals out… .” She shares that realizing this was “one of the initial catalysts to say, I really need to work on this.” But how do we unlearn these ingrained habits and behaviors? The Families Speak co-hosts do a deep dive into worrying, and share their experience with worry as the parents of Loved Ones with substance use and mental health struggles. Hear how CRAFT helped them put new patterns into place.Read Isabel's 2018 post entitled "Does Worry Prove I Love You." https://alliesinrecovery.net/does-worrying-prove-i-love-you/** Starting in August of 2025, the support group that Kayla facilitates will be offered on a sliding scale.Wednesdays at 6:30pm ETEmail kaylacraftgroup@gmail.com to join or learn more(Cost should not be a barrier— please reach out if you're interested)  **In our FAMILIES Speak series, psychotherapist Kayla Solomon invites members from the support group she facilitates for Allies in Recovery to share their experiences navigating addiction in the family. These parents have faced similar struggles to so many others—but with Allies in Recovery, they’ve found a new way forward.A membership at Allies in Recovery provides: ✔ A structured online platform to learn CRAFT skills step by step ✔ Support groups and a community that truly understands ✔ A Q&A blog with expert advice ✔ And much more! Start today—visit Allies in Recovery to begin creating change in your family.  

Are you a "YES person" or a "NO person?" According to Kayla, each of us has a tendency in one direction or the other. Find out what practice she recommends for "YES people" and why. But why is it so hard for so many of us to say "no" to people we love? Bridget, one of our co-hosts, admits that in her relationship with her Loved One, she used to operate from a place of fear. "I thought if I said 'no', I'd never see him again." Join us for a pertinent exploration of a laden subject. "YES" and "NO" often happen automatically for us, but what would start to shift for the better if we became more mindful of why we're answering that way?The support group that Kayla facilitates is now offered on a sliding scale.Wednesdays at 6:30pm ETEmail kaylacraftgroup@gmail.com to join or learn more(Cost should not be a barrier— please reach out if you're interested)In our FAMILIES Speak series, psychotherapist Kayla Solomon invites members from the support group she facilitates for Allies in Recovery to share their experiences navigating addiction in the family. These parents have faced similar struggles to so many others—but with Allies in Recovery, they’ve found a new way forward.

This topic came up organically when we came together to record and most of the team admitted they were in a strange place. We decided to explore just that – those moments when you realize you’re just not on your game (feeling off, disconnected, out of it, tired, not quite right… know what I mean?). Whether the cause is related to your Loved One’s substance use or mental health struggles, or any other stressor, how do you identify what you’re feeling, and move into a more balanced place? As always, the Families Speak team dives deep and shares in a generous, wise and pertinent manner.The support group that Kayla facilitates is now offered on a sliding scale.Wednesdays at 6:30pm ETEmail kaylacraftgroup@gmail.com to join or learn more(Cost should not be a barrier— please reach out if you're interested)In our FAMILIES Speak series, psychotherapist Kayla Solomon invites members from the support group she facilitates for Allies in Recovery to share their experiences navigating addiction in the family. These parents have faced similar struggles to so many others—but with Allies in Recovery, they’ve found a new way forward.

Words are important. But what may be even more important than words is the energy behind them. How do our body language, the tone of our voice, the thoughts we’re thinking, the feelings we’re feeling, and what we’re grappling with in any moment, affect things with others around us, for example with our Loved One? As we reorient and become more aware of our energy, it’s astounding what we’re able to heal in our relationships. Learn some simple ways to diffuse the tension and clean up your side of the street.** Starting in August of 2025, the support group that Kayla facilitates will be offered on a sliding scale.Wednesdays at 6:30pm ETEmail kaylacraftgroup@gmail.com to join or learn more(Cost should not be a barrier— please reach out if you're interested)  **In our FAMILIES Speak series, psychotherapist Kayla Solomon invites members from the support group she facilitates for Allies in Recovery to share their experiences navigating addiction in the family. These parents have faced similar struggles to so many others—but with Allies in Recovery, they’ve found a new way forward.A membership at Allies in Recovery provides: ✔ A structured online platform to learn CRAFT skills step by step ✔ Support groups and a community that truly understands ✔ A Q&A blog with expert advice ✔ And much more! Start today—visit Allies in Recovery to begin creating change in your family.  

A message from Isabel Cooney about some podcast changes.** Starting in August, the support group that Kayla facilitates will be offered on a sliding scale.Wednesdays at 6:30pm ETEmail kaylacraftgroup@gmail.com to join or learn more(Cost should not be a barrier— please reach out if you're interested) **At Allies in Recovery, we know that change starts with us. When we learn to self-regulate, it transforms our relationships with our Loved Ones struggling with addiction. Visit ⁠⁠Allies in Recovery⁠⁠ to start your new path towards healing addiction in your family.

“Humor is a release,” insists Kayla Solomon. If you can laugh, the perceived danger dissipates. Co-host Suzanne shares, “Even in the face of total darkness, we can laugh at the insanity. I think the line between humor and tragedy is very, very fine indeed.”In this lighthearted episode, our team offers deep thoughts about humor, including how to access it… as well as some unexpected tips such as co-host Elizabeth’s “viking horns” recommendation. Find out which caveat Kayla warns about as you pursue your quest to bring more humor into your world.Starting in August, the support group that Kayla facilitates will be offered on a sliding scale.Wednesdays at 6:30pm ETEmail kaylacraftgroup@gmail.com to join or learn more(Cost should not be a barrier— please reach out if you're interested)In our FAMILIES Speak series, psychotherapist Kayla Solomon invites members from the support group she facilitates for Allies in Recovery to share their experiences navigating addiction in the family. These parents have faced similar struggles to so many others—but with Allies in Recovery, they’ve found a new way forward.

Those of us who’ve been learning and practicing CRAFT as taught by Allies in Recovery tend to agree: this stuff should be taught in schools! All parents should know about this! All humans would benefit!As co-host Kenny explains, “In this journey, I’ve come to understand that the CRAFT skillset is really about relationships, generally, as much as it is how you maintain or develop a relationship with someone who’s in the throes of a substance use disorder.”Not to mention, as Kayla points out, “It’s a massive growth opportunity for the person practicing it.” Practicing CRAFT in our daily lives not only heals relationships in general but also prepares us to act more skillfully with our struggling Loved Ones. Listen in and see if we convince you.Starting in August, the support group will be offered on a sliding scale.Wednesdays at 6:30pm ETEmail kaylacraftgroup@gmail.com to join or learn more(Cost should not be a barrier— please reach out if you're interested)Alliesinrecovery.net

Isabel Cooney interviews her beloved colleague, Kayla Solomon. Kayla admits that when she was first trained in CRAFT, the 12-week framework of the method felt artificial — "It got stuck in my craw," she says. You'll hear the myriad ways that Kayla, through her work with families at Allies in Recovery, has tweaked and embellished the approach.Kayla Solomon, a regular co-host of this podcast, is a psychotherapist with broad experience in the world of addiction and recovery. She instigated the creation of the Allies support & skills training group for family members, and continues to facilitate this transformative group every week. ** Starting in August, the support group that Kayla facilitates will be offered on a sliding scale.Wednesdays at 6:30pm ETEmail kaylacraftgroup@gmail.com to join or learn more(Cost should not be a barrier— please reach out if you're interested) **At Allies in Recovery, we know that change starts with us. When we learn to self-regulate, it transforms our relationships with our Loved Ones struggling with addiction. Visit ⁠Allies in Recovery⁠ to start your new path towards healing addiction in your family.

When accumulated trauma and worry have our anxiety levels running high, we are often in a place where we simply expect that (more) bad things are going to happen—even when, objectively, things seem to be going well. It can actually be just this, things going well, that feel so out of the ordinary that we assume it won’t last and start to live in a state of suspension. This in-between state prevents us from living in the moment, from celebrating even small successes or positive steps. Our team looks at how they’ve managed to combat this life-sucking tendency.At Allies in Recovery, we know that change starts with us. When we learn to self-regulate, it transforms our relationships with our loved ones struggling with addiction.A family member (whose loved one is currently in recovery for over a year) recently said this about joining Allies: “I would say, just do it! It’s like the Bible of Healing Ourselves. It truly has changed the way I look at people, the way I see the world.”Visit Allies in Recovery to start your new path towards healing addiction in your family.

Though designed for families to help shepherd Loved Ones into treatment and recovery, CRAFT turns out to be a versatile framework that you can use anywhere, with anyone. And since our relationship with our Self is foundational for all the rest, it’s only logical—essential, Kayla says—that we’d find ways to practice CRAFT on ourselves.Does this sound confusing and strange? Let our families explain how they've approached this. Our Families Speak series features a wonderful team of people navigating life with an addicted Loved One. They are all members of Allies in Recovery, an online platform providing proven, research-based training, guidance, support and resources for families with a Loved One struggling with substance use.Alongside psychotherapist Kayla Solomon, they openly share their experiences, insights, and the CRAFT-based tools that have helped them shift the dynamic at home.Join Allies in Recovery today to access expert guidance, support, and resources that help families create real change.

What are the pitfalls of comparing your story and situation to that of others? How do you live in the world where not everyone is experiencing or expecting substance use or mental health issues, where people more readily discuss their Loved Ones' celebrations, accomplishments, and milestones? Our co-hosts talk about their own frustrations with comparing their situations to those of others, and how they've learned to handle it over time. A membership at Allies in Recovery provides: ✔ A structured online platform to learn CRAFT skills step by step  ✔ Support groups and a community that truly understands  ✔ A Q&A blog with expert advice  ✔ And much more!Start today—visit ⁠Allies in Recovery⁠ to begin creating change in your family.

Dads come together for a fascinating chat about the work they're doing around their children's substance use/recovery. What's different about how Moms and Dads approach the work? They suggest that the love felt for their Loved One is equal, but the interactions are quite different. James,a father of four, points out that Dads are often focused on detaching from their young adult sons, in order to let them become more independent—and this can also be exacerbated by the contrast of Moms being more involved. Dads and Moms might have completely different approaches to parenting their addicted adult children, but this is OK. Learning the CRAFT method and the Allies in Recovery toolkit has given parents common language and references that facilitate their own communications and dynamics around their approaches with their Loved Ones. The more we stay curious, interested and non-judgmental, the more power we have to positively impact the situation. These fathers lay it all out for us and help us to better understand their internal journeys.A membership at Allies in Recovery provides: ✔ A structured online platform to learn CRAFT skills step by step ✔ Support groups and a community that truly understands ✔ A Q&A blog with expert advice ✔ And much more!Start today—visit Allies in Recovery to begin creating change in your family.

Responding to a question from an Allies member, our co-hosts tackle a tough situation. Our member fears her adult child will be triggered to drink at their sibling’s upcoming wedding. Things could really get out of hand. Mom's trying to anticipate things CRAFTily, but there are many people involved. Worry and high expectations tend to be baked into weddings. Tune in to hear our team brainstorming in real time and listen to the guidance they offer up.At Allies in Recovery, we know that change starts with us. When we learn to self-regulate, it transforms our relationships with our loved ones struggling with addiction.  A family member (whose loved one is currently in recovery for over a year) recently said this about joining Allies: “I would say, just do it! It’s like the Bible of Healing Ourselves. It truly has changed the way I look at people, the way I see the world.”  A membership at Allies in Recovery includes: ✔ Step-by-step training in the CRAFT approach ✔ Support groups and a compassionate community ✔ A Q&A blog with personalized guidance ✔ And more! Visit Allies in Recovery to start your new path towards healing addiction in your family.  

How did Casie Fariello and Liz Reitman come to build Other Parents Like Me (OPLM), an impressive network of worldwide support meetings, expert talks and much more? Kayla speaks with Casey and Liz of OPLM, who describe themselves as "two moms determined to make a difference." The organization supports and educates parents with kids going through mental health challenges of all kinds, often including substance use.For more about OPLM, visit oplm.com.At Allies in Recovery, we train, guide, and support families using the CRAFT method—an evidence-based approach that helps families shift the dynamic with a loved one struggling with addiction. Self-care is a cornerstone of this process, but for many, it’s something we have to learn from scratch. A membership at Allies in Recovery gives you unlimited access to:  ✔ Step-by-step CRAFT training through our online learning platform  ✔ Support groups and a community that understands what you're going through  ✔ A Q&A blog with expert guidance  ✔ And much more! Visit Allies in Recovery to start your new path towards healing addiction in your family.  

Though it seems intuitive and important to avoid black and white thinking, what do you do instead? There are shades of gray, but our host Elizabeth suggests that a rainbow spectrum is really where complexity can live, a world where color, acceptance, softening, connection, and recognition of micro-successes are the path leading away from the contraction and defensiveness of black and white thinking.Visit Allies in Recovery to start your new path towards healing addiction in your family.  

The team weighs in definitively on the question, Is Everyone Creative? They share with us some key ways to get your creative juices flowing and move past blockages, and point to creative outlets you may not have considered.The Families Speak team is comprised of mothers and fathers on a journey with an addicted loved one. These family members have encountered the same struggles as anyone else with substance use in the family, but the journey they’ve embarked on is exceptional. They generously share their experience and tools with us, along with their ongoing challenges.One Families Speak family member recently referred to Allies in Recovery as “the Bible of Healing Ourselves.” VisitAllies in Recovery today and see why.⁠Suzanne Jarvie on spotify⁠ Song featured on part 2: "You Shall Not Pass"

Creativity has been a central element of healing for many of our Families Speak cohosts. For some, it arrived like a lifeline when their family was in crisis. For others, creativity remained frustratingly out of reach during the lowest point of crisis. The team dives into the countless ways we can access creative energy, and how it helped them. "Creativity is in everything if you're paying attention," affirms Allies in Recovery parent, Suzanne. (See below to find her music online)The Families Speak team is comprised of mothers and fathers on a journey with an addicted Loved One. These family members have encountered the same struggles as anyone else with substance use in the family, but the journey they’ve embarked on is exceptional. They generously share their experience and tools with us, along with their ongoing challenges.One Families Speak family member recently referred to Allies in Recovery as “the Bible of Healing Ourselves.” Visit Allies in Recovery today and see why.Suzanne Jarvie on spotify Song featured on part 1: Angel of Light