Composed

A frayed cord upgrade, driving around in silence, time is an illusion plus remembering a raspberry vanilla swirl frozen yogurt. You know, the usual.  https://www.patreon.com/composedwithchasebernstein

An exhilarating trip to Staples, making eye contact with James Harden, plus forgiving everyone except James Harden for being so iconic. Nothing but the best for episode 149. https://open.substack.com/pub/chasebernstein/p/as-it-were?r=19m396&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true

A Duolingo math confession, an external hard drive purchase, a hike in the rain, terabytes. Episode 148, anyone?  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l0biIAApETo   https://www.patreon.com/composedwithchasebernstein/membership    

The altitude is high and so is my opinion on mini altoids. My journey with gum is assessed as well as a brief thought on fiberglass. No words were minced or diced in episode 147. 

If it seems like I just found an injured woodpecker and drove it to a rehabilitation center in Calabasas it's because I just did. 

Recorded on the brink of purchasing a dry brush from Etsy, episode 145 delves into habits, water fountains, warped floors and Denver Nuggets parallels. MVP me.  https://www.patreon.com/composedwithchasebernstein https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n1jG09cGjM8

Need I say more?  https://www.patreon.com/composedwithchasebernstein https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wAdlxSbmTRc

Three unearthed crystals. Two hike related narratives, one glistening black Italian greyhound plus a ladybug inundation. Como se dice, we're back. 

Slipping into the new year equipped with Super Duolingo, and two days of French under my belt... truly a high like no other. A tiktok shop hesitation, a free croissant from Starbucks, plus a Pinkberry Rite/Aid dissertation. Typing this having read 46 books last year and sans a shred of jewelry, you'll understand soon enough. 

I've recovered from an illness just in time to enjoy the exotic festivities of Hanukkah as well as partake in an unhinged bagel exchange whilst knee deep into a migraine. The aforementioned carbohydrates undoubtedly gave me the fuel I needed to cover such topics as: Going to a party alone, a candle miscalculation, and a vicious tirade against footnotes and technology. They say people start slowing down in December, which is funny... because I'm just starting to ramp up.   

Sipping a glass of frothy chocolate milk, as I put the finishing touches on episode 140, in which Black Friday is ripped to shreds, my digital vision board is live, a sub par Thanksgiving salad plus "the vanilla to end all vanillas." Don't fight it. 

What am I grateful for? Well, let's see... I'm grateful to be celebrating my one year Duolingo anniversary, I'm grateful for the woman at the grocery store who was on my level, and I'm grateful for my hair length epiphany. What I'm not grateful for is the fact that I was never a camp counselor, that I don't actively own a clipboard, and Nikola Jokic being ejected before halftime of the Nuggets Pistons game. Happy Thanksgiving everyone, please pass the crescent rolls. 

By the time you read this there will be 47 days left in the calendar year, and unlike Marie Condo, we're not jumping ship. Rather, we're emulating the Nuggets in their jaw dropping win over the New Orleans Pelicans last week. If the Pelicans weren't on the endangered species list, they're all but extinct now. Typing this with the freshest hair trim this side of the Mississippi... the other side as well.    

Halloween etiquette, a car wash, a dog at the door, a fabric shaver, John Steinbeck, dolphins, turtles and my dad's Barnes and Noble gift card... which of these things don't belong? Trick question, they all do, to episode 137. Enjoy.   

Comedian Chase Bernstein tackles the minutiae of everyday life in a stream of consciousness filled with humor, observation and a splash of rage. While we love to think life is defined by the big events, ultimately it's the trips to CVS, Trader Joe's, and the special yet forgotten interactions in between that comprise our days. Chase is here to celebrate the subtleties through a genuine and hilarious lens. As one listener put it, "What's the show about? Nothing. Everything. Wow." While another said, "This podcast is ridiculous and I cannot stop listening!" So what do you have to lose? Nothing. Everything. 

This week's installment was recorded with extra eyelashes from my sister's wedding, a place where my mom lost an earring... or did she? All this plus, doing things poolside, nightmares and corn pancakes. Honestly unreal I'm still recording episodes.     

Absolutely needed to be said.    jolieskinco.com/chasebernstein

Recording episode 134 from the depths of my dad's gazebo, sans my glass coffee table (you'll understand soon enough) was not for the faint of heart. Then again neither were the topics touched upon: an excruciating post office experience, surprise parties plus a recounted Trader Joe's interaction that will leave you shaken.   

Plus the emotional rollercoaster of meeting Bill Simmon's during the peak hours of the Lions Gate portal.  Uni Body Serum Code: CHASEBERNSTEIN weareuni.com/CHASEBERNSTEIN  

Recorded in a red cashmere sweater and driven by the momentum of rising in the ranks of Duo Lingo's obsidian league, episode 132 has arrived. Suitcase regrets, bracing for Disneyland, plus a shocking live reaction that will shake you to your very core. Grab some headphones, lay down in a dark room, and enjoy.