Thanks to those of you who joined me day-to-day, or from time-to-time, during my 25 days of listening to the loving voice of wisdom. When I set out with that commitment—not only to do the listening, but also to share what I heard here—I did it in part in hopes that a number of the folks who follow my Substack would unsubscribe.Let me explain.I am very interested in having hosts of you out there regularly reading what I offer through writing. I am not, however, interested at all in anyone coming along for the ride or cluttering up their inboxes with the things that I’m writing if the things that I’m writing are not the sort of thing that—at least from time-to-time—serves them in their growth.We all have worlds to explore and worlds to make. No one owes you or me or anyone else their attention. And you sure as hell don’t owe your attention to anybody. That s**t’s yours to dole out as you wish. (The barons of distraction aren’t making that easy on you. But your humanity depends on keeping a good grip on what you lend your curiosity to.)That’s why, when I say thanks, it’s more than sentimental.It’s an honor and privilege to have every one of your sets of eyes and/or ears and individual hearts giving me heed here.With my loving voice of wisdom series it was my hope to allure a few more readers, and it was my goal to lose about 50. (I only got half-way there, but it was worth a shot.) I hoped that, in posting more regularly and having the audacity to take up a bit more space, those who didn’t really want my reflections dropping into their sightline in the first place (or who thought they might at first, but upon inspection decided otherwise) would take the necessary action to filter me out.When we filter one thing out it makes room for another. Our most enthusiastic “yes’s” are the direct offspring of our most clear-eyed “no thank you’s”. Everything is a tradeoff, dear hearts. That’s the way it is. And it’s glorious, once you truly get a handle on it.You have my blessing (which you don’t need, by the way, but there you go) to cease, pause, or be sporadically engaging with anything that I write here going forward. More than I want more readers, I want those who are my readers to be giving themselves to the world in all the ways (and, as close to possible, in only the ways) that are right for them.Some of the growth and learning for me, in this process, has been letting go of the illusion that the work I do in the world is meant for everyone. I’ve been learning this as much strategically as I have spiritually.It’s a marketing insight: Better to offer something specific that is carefully designed to provide value for some people, than it is to try and Frankenstein together a supposedly all-pleasing-monster-of-an-offering that doesn’t really end up being for anybody.I write the things I write hoping that they support you in your growth, which is to say, your journey of becoming ever and more fully who you are. I figure that’s at least somewhat specific. Confounding as it is to me, it seems that not everyone is interested in spiritual growth.There’s another angle that I aim to play at, too. It’s not just your growth that I’m writing for, but your growth for the sake of your contribution to the common good.I don’t want to help anyone grow who isn’t already committed to that. I’ll not be expending my energy trying to convince anyone that the common good is a worthy endeavor. (And if you’ve slipped through the cracks somehow, you’re reading this with an eye out only for your own growth and not for bettering the world to boot, then now’s your chance to graciously head for the exit.)Alright, so it’s decided: You’re interested in your own spiritual growth and you’re committed to making your particular contributions to the common good.Here’s one more angle, to really tighten up the Venn diagram and be clear about what it is that I’m up to. It’s been sneaking into my posts occasionally, but it’s something that I’m going to really focus on here for the next little while:I’m writing for those of you who want to specifically contribute to a vision for a world where men embody a more mature form of masculinity than the one that’s been dominating our culture for far too long.I’m writing for the men who are scrapping like warriors to break out of the oppressive chokehold that patriarchy has on their lives. I’m writing for the men who, like kings and mages, are alchemizing the chaos of their days into fresh creations and good medicine. I’m writing for the men who, with fire in their bellies and hearts aflame, are sparking deep love.And I suspect that it will resonate too with those of you who don’t identify as men, but who nevertheless believe in and accompany those of us who are doing the sacred work of striving to embody personal, loving, and liberating forms of masculinity.This isn’t for everyone. But it’s for all of you who are nodding emphatically right now, who see that such efforts to make such a world will benefit people of all genders, not to mention the other wild creatures with whom we all live and the habitats that we all share.In the soil of these fresh intentions for my writing on Substack, I’m also planting a new offering that is specifically for men: A coaching and support group for men who give a s**t about such matters, that’s focused on spiritual growth and taking action in personal ways to make the change that our relationships and our world needs us to make.I’ll share more details about that soon.In the meantime, it would support me to hear from you:* If this is something that you personally would like to participate in.* If there is someone in your life who you would like me to invite into this.You can send me an email, or set a time to talk with me about maturing masculinity.And please share this with the men in your life who are willing to change. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit arammitchell.substack.com
Everyday I ask the loving voice of wisdom, which dwells in our hearts and in this world: “What would you have me know today?” And then I listen. This is what I heard one day, not long ago…From elsewhere:“Well I’m damned, this is the end.”“We could probably make it farther if we wanted to.”(Terry & Renny Russell, On the Loose)From my heart:I would go, and have gone, to the end for you. And by “the end” we both know I mean “the edges”. And by “for” we know I mean “with”. I love to travel with you to the edgiest places. The places where life screeches like a banshee, where paradise sloughs its sheer golden facade and basks in the soft pervasiveness of dusk. Still gold, but better. I am your companion. Nearest to you when you’re on the road. And when you’re off the maps. And waiting for you, as often as you need, whenever you need, to root back home to the hearth. Wherever you are, I’m always near. Keep listening… This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit arammitchell.substack.com
Everyday I ask the loving voice of wisdom, which dwells in our hearts and in this world: “What would you have me know today?” And then I listen. This is what I heard one day, not long ago…From elsewhere:“By keeping in touch with wildness we preserve our sanity, and our world’s health.” (Scott Russell Sanders, Staying Put)From my heart:Which is a thing you do so well, dear one, and often—touch the wildness. But those cracks in your sanity, those wounds on the world, body, and soul—all that that means, all that it urges is to let more wildness in. If not more frequently, if not greater volume, then touch it more thoughtfully, with greater attention. And always remember: You are the wildness that you touch. You are wounded by the same world wound. And healed in the same wild ways. And healing. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit arammitchell.substack.com
Everyday I ask the loving voice of wisdom, which dwells in our hearts and in this world: “What would you have me know today?” And then I listen. This is what I heard one day, not long ago…From elsewhere:“There is a creative, life-sustaining, life-enhancing place for the masculine in a nondominator culture. And those of us committed to ending patriarchy can touch the hearts of real men where they live, not by demanding that they give up manhood or maleness, but by asking that they allow its meaning to be transformed, that they become disloyal to patriarchal masculinity in order to find a place for the masculine that does not make it synonymous with domination..” (bell hooks, The Will to Change)From my heart:Be disloyal to patriarchy, dear heart. Don’t go in for models of manhood that appeal to subjection. With your strength serve, listen and love. Be emotional when you need to. Cry those tears, my child, that you’ve been holding on to for dear life. I don’t mean only be disloyal to patriarchy in a grand and glorious save-the-world-systemic sort of way. I mean be free right now, yourself, this moment from all that binds you. Refuse the bondage that masquerades as power. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit arammitchell.substack.com
Everyday I ask the loving voice of wisdom, which dwells in our hearts and in this world: “What would you have me know today?” And then I listen. This is what I heard one day, not long ago…From elsewhere:“True transformation of persons happens largely, if not exclusively, through contact with images.” (Richard Rohr, summarizing Jung)From my heart:The symbols that we employ in our hearts shape the trail that we walk with our lives. It’s the contact that really makes them stick. You’ve got to put them to work. You can invoke archetypes all day, everyday with your lips. You can give names to every single layer of the collective unconscious. You can theologize and analyze and discuss the symbols from 360 different angles. But it’s when you put them to work on your imagination, give them shovels and pick axes, and lunch boxes full of ham sandwiches and red crispy apples—that’s when they start to shape you. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit arammitchell.substack.com
Everyday I ask the loving voice of wisdom, which dwells in our hearts and in this world: “What would you have me know today?” And then I listen. This is what I heard one day, not long ago…From elsewhere:“Hope is one thing, gratitude another and sufficient unto itself.” (Mary Oliver)From my heart:You have learned a lot about hope, dear one. You have studied it, and written about it, garnered degrees by studying and writing about hope. You know its nuance, its anatomy. Just as you did the fetal pig that you dissected in high school physiology class. “I praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made” they taught you there. You have learned more about hope from losing it, than you ever did from dissecting it. A couple of significant losses, at least. But they weren’t wrong about praise—which is gratitude in another form—and how it can resurrect the will to change—which is hope in another form. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit arammitchell.substack.com
Everyday I ask the loving voice of wisdom, which dwells in our hearts and in this world: “What would you have me know today?” And then I listen. This is what I heard one day, not long ago…From elsewhere:“We need this life of practical romance; the combination of something that is strange with something that is secure.” (G.K. Chesterton)From my heart:You do that, I see you, everyday when you invoke the energy of the hermit and the energy of the pilgrim, together. Your heart stirred, when you were young and unmarried, at the idea of wedding two pulls within you—the vagabond and the homesteader, together. You have longed for a life—long been faithful to the life—of practical romance. But do you see, even now, how you grip that longing? how you are grasping after life? You need not grip or grasp. What you long for is how things are. And it’s yours to simply receive. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit arammitchell.substack.com
Everyday I ask the loving voice of wisdom, which dwells in our hearts and in this world: “What would you have me know today?” And then I listen. This is what I heard one day, not long ago…From elsewhere:“Tolerance and openness are virtues in the life of one with clear authority; they are sad excuses in the lives of those afraid of their own authority.” (Richard Rohr)From my heart:I know, you preached about self-righteousness. And those who know you most closely see that vice in you. And I know, you yourself are torn between confident knowing and humble curiosity. You fear the passivity that childs within you, even while shying away from the strength of purpose that anchors your heart. No time here to sort it all out for you. But walk with this today: Clear authority of self is not torn. There is power, as well you know, in the confluence of humble courage. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit arammitchell.substack.com
Everyday I ask the loving voice of wisdom, which dwells in our hearts and in this world: “What would you have me know today?” And then I listen. This is what I heard one day, not long ago…From elsewhere:“In my house there are a hundred half-done poems. Each of us leaves an unfinished life.” (Mary Oliver, Thinking of Swirler)From my heart:Isn’t that glorious, beloved one? You fill your days with purpose and your nights with reaching out—with arms and dreams—to the life you love living, and still more time flows in behind you. More days flow in from the expanse of what hasn’t been. And they will keep flowing long after your days flush through this world, like a bubbling in a mossy wood, perhaps, or like a mighty river, or a waterfall. All of them heading to the ocean. And whatever you don’t complete, whatever you leave unfinished —so long as you truly started it— will get picked up again, after you, by the clouds, and cycled back into life. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit arammitchell.substack.com
Everyday I ask the loving voice of wisdom, which dwells in our hearts and in this world: “What would you have me know today?” And then I listen. This is what I heard one day, not long ago…From elsewhere:“How many times have you noticed that it’s the little quiet moments in the midst of life that seem to give the rest extra-special meaning?” (Fred Rogers)From my heart:That’s where you’ll find me, as often as not. That’s where you’ll find what you need. And not that you have to go hunting for them, those little quiet moments. Really you just need to notice them. And then notice your own sweet heart when you notice them; what happens there. You don’t have to wait until later. The chittering of the birds just now… The velcro crash of the waves over your shoulder… The way that the shoes are piled up by the front door over there… This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit arammitchell.substack.com
Everyday I ask the loving voice of wisdom, which dwells in our hearts and in this world: “What would you have me know today?” And then I listen. This is what I heard one day, not long ago…From elsewhere:“The fourth myth is the belief that it is possible to be totally logical, rational and objective.” (I forget where I read this)From my heart:The challenge for you, my darling, is to live among men who are deeply invested in the fourth myth, and to see the harmful effects of that myth on your own heart, while also continuing to believe that it is sometimes possible to benefit from trying to be partially logical and rational and objective. Absolutism is the spectre that hovers over and in any totalitarian belief. The very exciting challenge is to be whole, rather than ever totally anything. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit arammitchell.substack.com
Everyday I ask the loving voice of wisdom, which dwells in our hearts and in this world: “What would you have me know today?” And then I listen. This is what I heard one day, not long ago…From elsewhere:“The professional masters how, and leaves what and why to the gods.” (Steven Pressfield, The War of Art)From my heart:You aren’t alone, there, scraping your every effort against every day, vying of your own will for results that’ll amount to something. The gods are there too. It’s actually quite beautiful if you believe in the gods, which is to say, if you believe that you are not alone in your longing and your efforts to make of this world something awesome, something worthy to pass along. Believe that you’re alone, and you’ll run ragged with unnecessary struggle. Believe in the company that is available to you, and you’ll rest from time to time in the joyful grace of the work. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit arammitchell.substack.com
Everyday I ask the loving voice of wisdom, which dwells in our hearts and in this world: “What would you have me know today?” And then I listen. This is what I heard one day, not long ago…From elsewhere:“We do not think ourselves into a new way of living, but we must live ourselves into a new way of thinking.” (Richard Rohr)From my heart:You can sit there in that rocking chair and run your thoughts through your head all morning until the soles of their feet bleed, but they’ll still have miles to run, and it’ll be circles they’re running in, until you give yourself something to act on. You can do the same with your fears, your doubts, your worries—and I’m not saying you never should take those things for a run around the block—but taking an actual step, out here in this world of constraints and hardship—taking an actual step, often precisely in the direction that you’re dreading the most—will free your mind to help you make new worlds. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit arammitchell.substack.com
Everyday I ask the loving voice of wisdom, which dwells in our hearts and in this world: “What would you have me know today?” And then I listen. This is what I heard one day, not long ago…From elsewhere:“Every step and every strain and hard breath and heart pump is an investment in tomorrow morning’s strength.” (Terry & Renny Russell, On the Loose, I think)In my mind, I responded:Ok. Then I’ll walk on. Though I’m done living for perpetual tomorrows. I need to be absolutely clear what it is that I’m up to, because doubts creep and there is no such thing as a clear path. Only the path as it is. Often jumbled. And knowing why I’m walking helps. Are you there, my why? From my heart, I heard:I am the walk.My mind:So, tomorrow’s strength isn’t the why that I’m after? So, strength is a by-product then?My heart:Yep. Strength is a by-product. And a young man’s game. You’re already strong. Whenever you’re doing what you’re here to do—no matter your pace, no matter the stretch of your stride—you’re moving with strength. Trust that your heart will pump, your blood will flow, to feed the next step you need to take. And take it. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit arammitchell.substack.com
Everyday I ask the loving voice of wisdom, which dwells in our hearts and in this world: “What would you have me know today?” And then I listen. This is what I heard one day, not long ago…From elsewhere:“...men of intelligence who formerly possessed an ordinary amount of refinement.”From my heart:And what is the ordinary refinement that you are shedding? I know you care a lot, my hearty soul, about the hopes and dreams, desires and priorities, the wants and needs of others in your near orbit; of those especially who, through admiration and gratitude for your gifts, stake some claim on your time and your attention. But care a little bit less today. Give more thought to what is yours to make and offer, and do that a little bit more today. No one has a viable claim on your time, unless you elect to give it to them. Give your time and your care to whom and what you wish. Trust that. This is your next level of growth. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit arammitchell.substack.com
Everyday I ask the loving voice of wisdom, which dwells in our hearts and in this world: “What would you have me know today?” And then I listen. This is what I heard one day, not long ago…From elsewhere:“It’s giving until the giving feels like receiving.” (Mary Oliver, To Begin With, the Sweetgrass)From my heart:Like the rough Father says, though a little bit gentler. Like Jesus said, more or less. Like the Mother does, when the babe screams. Like I’ve shown you all along. Like you yourself recite everyday: “...to freely give themselves to the world.” Eventually no sacrifice remains. Eventually I’ve consumed all sacrifice in the fire of my truth: That when you give, in just such a way, you will receive it back. I love the sound of your cries, my beloved. I love your protestations, my darling. They tell me of your heart and of your appetite—and there is nothing more that I would rather know. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit arammitchell.substack.com
Everyday I ask the loving voice of wisdom, which dwells in our hearts and in this world: “What would you have me know today?” And then I listen. This is what I heard one day, not long ago…From elsewhere:“Rest thee by many brooks and hearthsides without misgiving.” (Henry David Thoreau, Walden)In my mind I responded:But I don’t feel okay. I don’t feel at rest, at ease. Everything’s just a little bit uphill.From my heart:It’s been that way ever since you started walking uphill, hasn’t it? What’s up there, do you think? What’s up there worthy of the slog? Is there any other route to the magic? I hear you thinking: “If it’s going to be like this, then I don’t want to do it.” So: Do it different. And I know. I know you’re trying to. I see your efforts, dear heart. You’re doing great. And don’t forget: You can do better without having been bad. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit arammitchell.substack.com
Everyday I ask the loving voice of wisdom, which dwells in our hearts and in this world: “What would you have me know today?” And then I listen. This is what I heard one day, not long ago…From elsewhere:“For afterwards a man finds pleasure in his pains, when he has suffered long and wandered long.” (Homer, the Odyssey)From my heart:I know, my love, you think of others first when you read of the hope that pain may amount to life, even pleasure. But you see it for yourself as well, don’t you? You see it, and can barely begin—but surely must begin—to see that it is actually so. Your pains tinge your life with growth, which gives life its arch and its hues, which is pleasant to behold. “Afterwards,” the young man says. While: “Now,” is the utterance of the elder. You, my child, are somewhere in between. You have not been long enough at anything to know its culmination. But you will. You will. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit arammitchell.substack.com
Everyday I ask the loving voice of wisdom, which dwells in our hearts and in this world: “What would you have me know today?” And then I listen. This is what I heard one day, not long ago…From elsewhere:“We aim a black box and scratch on beaten wood pulp.” (Terry & Renny Russell, On the Loose)From my heart:I put that smile there, my darling. And it delights me. If I had a black box to aim, I’d aim it there, at that smile, to freeze your happiness in time. But I don’t deal in boxes. And happiness that is frozen is a prison along with any other static state. So scratch on, my darling. Scratch your way through the infinite of your thoughts, your emotions, your ambitions. Scratch as a practice to orient you to the immediacy of your experience. And then step away from the pulp, and into the action. The action is where happiness goes to live free. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit arammitchell.substack.com
Everyday I ask the loving voice of wisdom, which dwells in our hearts and in this world: “What would you have me know today?” And then I listen. This is what I heard one day, not long ago…From elsewhere:“Now we know what is trivia and what is real.” (Terry & Renny Russell, On the Loose)From my heart:It might take you a while to discern between the two, beloved. And it won’t come without mistaking one for the other on more than one occasion. And then—even after knowing the difference—mistaking them still from time to time. It might take a while to discern between trivia and what is real. Especially when it comes to love, to sex, to religion, to family, to faith; to any good means of occupying your time. But in time, gradually—you might even say progressively—when you’re willing and heeding—then you will see what is real. You’ll see it. You’ll experience it. And you’ll know it. Like an old friend. Like a child of your own. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit arammitchell.substack.com