Connection Codes

Episode 188: Identity Over Truth - Why We're All Desperate to Be SeenIn this powerful episode, Tera Wages and Dr. Glenn and Phyllis Hill explore why humans prioritize identity over truth—and how this fundamental need shapes everything from our marriages to the polarizing world we see online.What You'll Learn:Why identity is your #1 human need (backed by the Still Face Experiment)The 5 critical questions your brain is constantly askingHow identity loss makes us do things we'd never recommend to othersWhy "calling someone back to truth" never works in relationshipsThe real reason people stay in lower-paying jobs (it's not about money)How to recognize when someone is losing identity—and what to do insteadWhy the "us vs them" narrative is more dangerous than you thinkPractical tools to give identity instead of stripping it awayKey Topics Covered:Emotional health and regulationMarriage communication and conflict resolutionLeadership development and team cultureMental health and depressionIdentity formation and validationConnection vs disconnectionEmotional intelligence in relationshipsWorkplace culture and employee retentionResources:Get the FREE Core Emotion Wheel: www.connectioncodes.co/podcastBook a Connection Codes Coach: https://connectioncodes.co/coachesLearn about Connection Codes training for businesses and leaders: https://connectioncodes.co/at-workFollow Connection Codes:Instagram: @connectioncodesFacebook: Connection CodesWebsite: www.connectioncodes.co

In this deeply vulnerable episode, Dr. Glen and Phyllis continue their real-time conflict from last week, diving into the messy reality of what it looks like when one partner is thriving while the other is just beginning to recover from burnout. Recorded just moments after a morning conflict, this episode captures the raw, unscripted reality of navigating relationship pain when one person has no reserves left and the other is wondering when things will feel "normal" again. Glen and Phyllis, along with host Tera Wages, explore the invisible weight of mental and emotional labor in relationships, how partners experience the same events differently and arrive at different emotional places, the fear and uncertainty of not knowing how long a partner's pain will last, identity crisis and what it means to feel completely empty of reserves, the importance of getting curious instead of trying to fix, why processing pain 10,000 times is actually healthy (not a problem), how to support a partner who is in a season of deep transition, and the power of doing the Core Emotion Wheel regularly, especially during hard seasons. You'll learn why one partner can feel like they "sprinted" across the finish line while the other "crawled," how to recognize when mental/emotional labor is just as taxing as physical labor, the difference between desire and capacity in your body, why it's crucial to turn toward your partner and share your emotions in the moment, how to invite your partner back into connection when they miss with you, why identity pain is the greatest pain and requires the most patience, and the importance of slowing down and asking "Ooh, tell me more" instead of problem-solving. Whether you're the partner crawling across the finish line or the one wondering when your spouse will "bounce back," this episode offers permission to feel all of it, process it together, and remember that you're not broken—you're just human.Chapters:00:00:00 - Disclaimer00:02:30 - "I Don't Know If This Is a 5 Year or 25 Year Plan"00:05:50 - Phyllis's Perspective: "I'm Still Discovering Me"00:10:40 - The Identity Crisis: Selling the Company and Losing a Lane00:13:00 - Learning to Feel Emotions for the First Time: "Oh, That's What Burnout Feels Like"00:21:05 - "I Have No Reserves": A New Experience00:22:10 - Desire vs. Capacity: Learning to Listen to Your Body00:24:10 - Different Experiences at the Finish Line: "I Crawled, You Sprinted"00:40:00 - Identity Pain Is the Greatest Pain00:42:00 - "I Just Want You to Turn to Me"00:47:20 - The Lifeline: Using the Core Emotion Wheel in Hard SeasonsLinks and Resources:Connection Codes WebsiteTake the Connection Codes AssessmentConnection Codes CoachingWatch previous episodes on navigating conflictConnect with us on Instagram: @connectioncodes

Tera, Dr. Glenn, and Phyllis dive into the powerful interplay between vulnerability and safety in relationships. Drawing from personal stories, cultural examples, and decades of work with Connection Codes, they unpack how many of us were raised to silence emotions—and how this creates barriers to intimacy. The hosts explore why vulnerability is not weakness but the very act that creates safety, and how micro-moments of authentic sharing lay the foundation for trust. With practical insights, like using the Core Emotion Wheel and reframing fear, this conversation equips you to transform your relationships into safe spaces where real connection can thriveChapters:- 00:00:00 - TV shows and vulnerability- 00:01:20 - Introducing core concepts- 00:04:51 - Childhood lessons on suppression- 00:07:51 - The vulnerability paradox- 00:11:12 - Unfamiliar territory- 00:15:30 - Foundation-building moments- 00:19:24 - Recognizing safe people- 00:23:30 - Fear vs. safety- 00:28:39 - Everyday vulnerability- 00:35:26 - The cab story- 00:41:42 - Authenticity without guarantees- 00:47:35 - Losing and finding relationships- 00:53:01 - The Core Emotion Wheel- 00:58:04 - Starting your journeyLinks and Resources:- https://connectioncodes.co/- https://connectioncodes.co/get-the-cew- https://www.amazon.com/Connection-Codes-Blueprint-Creating-Relationships-ebook/dp/B093TLDT71

In this episode Tera, Dr. Glenn, and Phyllis take on one of the most misunderstood and weaponized words in relationships: forgiveness. They unpack why simply saying “I forgive you” rarely brings peace, and how unprocessed pain lingers in the body long after conflict. Through personal stories, faith reflections, and the practical tools of the Connection Codes, they reveal why true healing comes through release—acknowledging, voicing, and processing hurt in safe spaces. Listeners will learn how to move beyond judgment, create authentic emotional connection, and experience freedom without erasing their pain or enabling harmful dynamicsChapters:00:00:00 - Setting the Stage for Authentic Healing00:02:09 - Rethinking Forgiveness: Moving Beyond Traditional Approaches00:04:26 - How Forgiveness Gets Weaponized in Relationships00:11:04 - The Compassionate Truth About Forgiveness in Faith00:15:47 - Creating Safety to Process Pain Together00:29:34 - Why Simply Saying "I Forgive You" Doesn't Heal the Hurt00:36:53 - Embracing Emotions as Pathways to Deeper Connection00:47:42 - Real-Life Example: Using the Emotion Wheel in Relationships00:54:55 - Practical Next Steps for Your Relationship JourneyLinks and Resources:- Connection Codes Emotion Wheel - https://connectioncodes.co/wheel-download- Connection Codes Book - https://www.amazon.com/Connection-Codes-Blueprint-Creating-Relationships/dp/B093QCHZ76- Become a Connection Codes Coach - https://connectioncodes.co/certified-coaching#certifiedcoachingtopofhome

In this vulnerable and empowering conversation, host Tera Wages sits down with Ally Bullock — licensed marriage and family therapist, Head of Relationships at Paired, and creator of Relationships with Ally. Together, they unpack the realities of sex and intimacy after parenting. From mismatched desire and the weight of invisible labor, to the science behind stress and sexual satisfaction, Ally shares practical strategies couples can use to reconnect. Listeners will hear real-life stories, expert insights, and powerful tools — like co-regulation rituals, responsive desire reframes, and scheduling intimacy — that can transform the way partners approach connection in the busiest seasons of life.Chapters:00:00:00 - Welcome to Connection Codes Podcast00:00:27 - Meet Aly Bullock00:01:50 - 45% of parents report less intimacy00:03:58 - Aly's Background: A marriage and family therapist with the Paired app00:05:48 - Aly's Personal Story: Marriage, three kids, and "chaotic" life00:07:28 - How does sex change after kids?00:08:13 - Why Intimacy Decreases00:09:00 - Feeling "touched out" after 10 years of pregnancy/nursing00:10:17 - Desire Types: Spontaneous vs. responsive desire explained00:12:55 - Use a shared note to "brain dump" the mental load00:15:47 - Reframing Expectations: Embrace a new normal post-kids00:17:45 - Why to Schedule Sex00:19:06 - Study: A mother's stress predicts lower sexual satisfaction for both partners00:20:00 - A New Approach: Schedule "intimacy time," not just sex00:24:08 - A Moment of Empathy: Tera's husband experiences overstimulation00:25:37 - Tip for Overstimulation: Co-regulation with back-to-back breathing00:28:03 - Use AirPods with relaxing music during sex00:28:53 - Study: Small, daily intimate acts boost satisfaction00:30:18 - Identity Matters00:31:21 - Tip on Identity: Separate your "parent" and "partner" roles00:32:21 - Intimacy can get better with time00:41:41 - Recap: A summary of the episode's key tips00:42:13 - Resource: The Paired app's "Recharge Your Sex Life" course00:42:57 - How to Connect with AlyLinks and Resources:Relationship with Aly Website:Aly on InstagramAly on ⁠LinkedIn⁠:⁠ Aly BullockGet Paired at 25% off: http://www.paired.com/alypodcastDownload the Core Emotion Wheel: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://youtube.com/@connectioncodes?si=phORYBsGMOOrj9mA⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find out how to become a Certified Coach:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://connectioncodes.co/certified-coaching⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find a coach:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://connectioncodes.co/coaches#find-a-coach-menu⁠

In this powerful conversation, Dr. Glenn and Phyllis talk with Paul and Hannah McClure—musicians, parents, and certified Connection Codes coaches—about the journey of learning to process emotions instead of drowning in them. The McClures share openly about walking through miscarriage, facing parenting challenges, and breaking free from long seasons of disconnection. They describe how simple tools like the Core Emotion Wheel gave them language for their feelings, transformed their marriage, and reshaped the way they connect as a family. This episode is an invitation to slow down, honor what you feel, and discover how vulnerability can lead to lasting healing and deeper relationships.Chapters:00:00:00 – Welcome to the Connection Codes Podcast00:00:57 – Meet Paul & Hannah00:01:34 – Story of meeting as teens and family background00:02:41 – Discovery of the program in 2020 through webinars00:03:15 – How the tools helped process miscarriage00:04:44 – Reflection on “choose joy” culture and parenting impact00:05:31 – Childhood experience of suppressing emotions00:07:23 – Demonstration of the Core Emotion Wheel00:09:27 – Feelings of anger, guilt, and loneliness in friendships00:11:16 – Fear about an album release and hurt from a trip00:13:00 – Key victories and struggles with the tools00:14:23 – Resolving conflict in Hawaii by naming hurt00:17:30 – How minutes of processing prevent days of disconnect00:19:51 – Example of using the wheel during a cancer diagnosis00:25:00 – Motivation for becoming coaches00:27:18 – Coaching removed the pressure of having all the answers00:30:04 – How unprocessed joy can lead to poor choices00:32:04 – The wheel as a manual for navigating trauma00:37:29 – Fear of drowning in emotions00:40:10 – Seeing past anger to identify underlying hurtLinks and Resources:Download the Core Emotion Wheel: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://youtube.com/@connectioncodes?si=phORYBsGMOOrj9mA⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find out how to become a Certified Coach:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://connectioncodes.co/certified-coaching⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find a coach:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://connectioncodes.co/coaches#find-a-coach-menu⁠

Tera Wages sits down with Dr. Glenn and Phyllis Hill to unpack the heart behind launching the School of Connection. Together, they explore why disconnection is one of the most dangerous forces in marriages, families, and workplaces, and how community becomes the missing piece for lasting transformation. With real stories of parents using the Core Emotion Wheel, couples breaking the cycle of conflict, and individuals rediscovering hope, this conversation reveals a clear path from isolation to authentic connection. If you’ve ever longed for deeper relationships or wondered how to move from surviving to thriving, this episode offers practical tools and an inspiring vision for healing through connectionChapters:(00:00:00) - Welcome to Connection Codes Podcast(00:02:12) - The Big Announcement(00:03:12) - Identifying the Need for Human Connection(00:04:20) - Announcing the "School of Connection"(00:05:01) - Why Everyone Needs This(00:06:17) - Phyllis on the Power of a "Deep Dive"(00:07:19) - A Health Journey vs. Relational Health(00:09:07) - The Pain of Loneliness When Success Isn't Enough(00:11:58) - Why Handing Someone a Chainsaw Doesn't Make Them an Ice Sculptor(00:13:46) - Phyllis on the Burden of Meeting the Community's Needs(00:17:44) - The Unexpected Transformations: Restored Marriages and Found Voices(00:19:30) - "People are Dating Robots"(00:23:14) - My 6-Year-Old Coached Me Through Conflict(00:25:09) - Aiming to "Freak Out Over a 10-Minute Conflict"(00:28:20) - "We Did the Book, But That Wasn't Enough"(00:33:19) - Who This Is For: Breaking Free From Walking on Eggshells(00:35:08) - Discovering a Spouse's Hidden Pain(00:40:47) - How to Join: Announcing the First Cohort Start Date(00:43:43) - The Team's Core Emotions About the New School(00:44:03) - Fear and Joy of Launching the Program(00:47:23) - The Anger of Financial Limitations(00:50:48) - The Rarity of Hearing the Real Story Behind a Business(00:52:45) - The Path to Becoming a Certified CoachLinks and Resources:Download the Core Emotion Wheel: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://youtube.com/@connectioncodes?si=phORYBsGMOOrj9mA⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find out how to become a Certified Coach:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://connectioncodes.co/certified-coaching⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find a coach:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://connectioncodes.co/coaches#find-a-coach-menu⁠

For nearly two decades, Zephan and Sarah's marriage was in "survival mode". On the surface, everything seemed "fine," but underneath, a painful disconnect was growing—one partner felt "particularly lonely," while the other "had no idea". A pivotal moment during a podcast recording led to an emotional "dam break," forcing them to confront years of unspoken pain. In this episode, Zephan and Sarah share their powerful journey of moving beyond a "people pleaser" dynamic and ineffective relationship "rules". They discuss navigating the chaotic first six months—a period they call "Pandora's Box"—to build a foundation of true emotional safety and transform their communication, learning how to become a true "witness for your life".Chapters:00:00:00 - Welcome to the Connection Codes Podcast00:03:16 - Meet Zephan & Sarah00:04:12 - Why Connection Codes Was Different: How it became a "way of life," not just a quick fix.00:05:13 - The First 10 Years: Reflecting on the intensity and "survival mode" of early marriage.00:06:11 - The Turning Point: A failed podcast recording reveals one partner's hidden pain.00:08:43 - Defining Connection: The pain caused by differing views on what connection looks like.00:09:36 - The People-Pleaser Dynamic: How managing a partner's emotions prevents intimacy.00:10:30 - The Problem with "Rules": Why rule-based methodologies for relationships often fail.00:11:08 - The Core Principle of Safety: The commitment to "be safe for one another."00:13:37 - The "Dam Break" of Loneliness: Finding the language to define loneliness within the marriage.00:15:12 - Learning to "Ooh" a Partner's Pain: Validating a partner without taking on their pain as shame.00:15:53 - Seeing "Micro-Resisting": Noticing the pattern of people resisting each other's emotions.00:16:56 - The Journey of Oohing Yourself: Not resisting your own emotions as a path to self-discovery.00:22:39 - Finding Your Voice: How a safe group environment helps in sharing difficult emotions.00:23:58 - A New Way to Argue: Moving from "I'm not enough" to "I'm feeling lonely."00:29:41 - The "Pandora's Box" Phase: The scary and difficult first six months of doing the work.00:31:05 - How to Navigate Early Stages: Advice on staying curious to find connection at the bottom of the pain.00:36:40 - The Vital Role of Community: How supportive friends were essential to their journey.00:38:43 - A Partner as a "Witness": The profound purpose of a committed partnership.00:41:31 - Core Emotion Wheel Practice: The couple shares their current emotions using the wheel exercise.00:45:55 - Connecting with the Guests: How to find Zephan and Sarah for coaching.Links and Resources:Download the Core Emotion Wheel: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://youtube.com/@connectioncodes?si=phORYBsGMOOrj9mA⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find out how to become a Certified Coach:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://connectioncodes.co/certified-coaching⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find a coach:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://connectioncodes.co/coaches#find-a-coach-menu⁠Haven Coaching Website: https://www.havencoaching.net/homeHaven Coaching on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thehavencoaching/

Dr. Glenn and Phyllis Hill welcome their grandson, Asher Hill, to share his journey of learning and practicing the Connection Codes Core Emotion Wheel from a young age. That foundation became life-saving when, at just 14 years old, he was hit with the emotional weight of his mother’s cancer diagnosis. Now 16, Asher reflects on how this tool has carried him through high school pressures, football struggles, panic attacks, and family conflicts—and even how he uses it with his girlfriend to build a safe, honest relationship. His story proves that emotional intelligence isn’t just for adults—no one is too young to learn it—and that authentic communication and safe spaces for vulnerability can transform every relationship, from family to friendships to future partnerships.Chapters:(00:00:00) Introduction & Disclaimer(00:02:59) Meet Asher(00:05:14) Why Asher is on the Podcast(00:06:59) Early Memories of Connection Codes(00:08:06) Cousin Conflict(00:10:38) The "Three Sentences" Rule(00:12:56) The Core Emotion Wheel as a "Game Changer"(00:15:56) Learning as We Go(00:19:12) A Cousin-Led Resolution(00:21:44) Navigating a Mother's Illness(00:26:28) Emotional Suppression as a Coping Mechanism(00:27:32) Inhale, Exhale: The Flow of Emotions(00:29:07) The Gym Analogy for Emotions(00:30:44) The Weight of Unprocessed Feelings(00:36:11) Asher's Core Emotion Wheel(00:38:23) Using the Wheel in a RelationshipLinks and Resources:Download the Core Emotion Wheel: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://youtube.com/@connectioncodes?si=phORYBsGMOOrj9mA⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find out how to become a Certified Coach:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://connectioncodes.co/certified-coaching⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find a coach:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://connectioncodes.co/coaches#find-a-coach-menu⁠⁠⁠

In this heartfelt episode, we explore the transformative power of vulnerability in personal growth. Join us as Hannah Droll shares her journey of embracing vulnerability through Connection Codes, revealing how it reshaped her relationships and self-awareness. Discover the challenges and triumphs of staying present in moments of emotional intensity, and learn how vulnerability can lead to deeper connections and personal transformation. Tune in to uncover the profound impact of being open and authentic in your own life.

What if processing emotions could be simple, kind, and transformative? In this conversation, Dr. Glenn sits down with Jonathan Hernandez — psychology student, Certified Connection Codes Coach, and creative visionary bringing the Connection Codes to nearly a billion Spanish speakers. Speaking from his own dating relationship, Jonathan shares how processing emotions like fear, joy, and shame without judgment has deepened connection and reduced conflict — and how these same tools are transforming marriages around the world. Together, they explore why emotions “happen to us,” how resisting them keeps us stuck, and practical ways to experience emotional safety in real time. Whether you’re dating, married, or somewhere in between, this episode offers hope, humor, and actionable insight for anyone ready to strengthen their emotional health and relationships.Links and Resources:Download the Core Emotion Wheel: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://youtube.com/@connectioncodes?si=phORYBsGMOOrj9mA⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find out how to become a Certified Coach:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://connectioncodes.co/certified-coaching⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find a coach:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://connectioncodes.co/coaches#find-a-coach-menu⁠⁠Jonathan Hernandez on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/jonathan-hernandez-b16070188⁠Chapters: 00:00:00 - Welcome & Why This Conversation Matters00:00:38 - Finding Joy in Fully Feeling00:01:35 - Meet Jonathan Hernandez & His Mission00:03:13 - The Moment Connection Codes Changed Everything00:07:22 - How Emotions Shape Every Connection00:10:50 - Processing Feelings That Once Felt Impossible00:21:06 - Turning Shame into a Bridge for Closeness00:24:34 - Trauma Responses and the Path to Healing00:27:23 - Experiencing Emotions in a Whole New Way00:28:43 - Using Emotional Processing to Truly Heal00:29:55 - Why Sadness Deserves a Seat at the Table00:32:09 - Applying Connection Codes in Real-Life Dating00:42:20 - Bringing Connection Codes to Millions of Spanish Speakers00:48:02 - The Transformative Power of Emotional Coaching00:49:58 - Walking Through the Emotional Wheel in Action

After 30 days apart, Tera and Wes Wages reunite in this raw and reflective episode to walk through the Core Emotion Wheel—live and unscripted. They process everything from the guilt of missed connections to the joy of being truly seen, showing just how powerful emotional honesty can be. Along the way, they model how to use this tool in real-time, talk through what’s really driving their behavior, and explain how diving deeper into core emotions has helped them move from disconnection to intimacy. If you've ever felt stuck in surface-level conversations, this episode shows how to break through and build meaningful connection—one emotion at a time.Links and Resources:Download the Core Emotion Wheel: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://youtube.com/@connectioncodes?si=phORYBsGMOOrj9mA⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find out how to become a Certified Coach:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://connectioncodes.co/certified-coaching⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find a coach:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://connectioncodes.co/coaches#find-a-coach-menu⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Chapters: 00:00:00 - Welcome, Warm-Up & Quick Heads-Up00:00:49 - Summer Stories & Reuniting on the Mic00:01:10 - Unlocking Connection with the Core Emotion Wheel00:03:33 - Putting the Wheel to Work in Real Life00:05:24 - Peeling Back Layers: Emotions That Shape Relationships00:12:00 - Wes Opens Up: Honest Feelings on the Table00:17:14 - Big Life Shift: Saying Goodbye to the RV00:18:41 - The Emotional Weight of Letting Go00:19:08 - Adventures, Solitude, and Summer Reflections00:20:06 - Joy, Dreams, and What’s Next00:20:35 - Breaking Down the Core Eight Emotions00:22:02 - Chasing Parks, Memories, and Milestones00:23:37 - Why Our Feelings Drive the Choices We Make00:30:52 - The Highs and Hiccups of Life on the Road00:33:04 - How Core Emotions Keep Us Connected00:35:06 - Final Encouragement & Invitation to Join the Conversation

Phyllis and Dr. Glenn Hill sit down with Elijah Runyan, Director of Certified Coaching for Connection Codes, to dive deep into the world of neurodivergence and emotional connection. Both Elijah and Dr. Glenn share personal stories of what it’s like to live with unique emotional wiring—where everyday experiences, like dishes left undone or mismatched hangers, can trigger intense pain experiences. Through candid reflections, they reveal how shame and loneliness can take hold when these experiences go unseen or misunderstood, and how learning to process pain instead of judging it opens the door to authentic connection. This episode highlights how the Connection Codes framework—centered on regard, curiosity, and emotional awareness—has transformed their relationships, helping them move from miscommunication to genuine closeness with their families and partners.Links and Resources:Download the Core Emotion Wheel: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://youtube.com/@connectioncodes?si=phORYBsGMOOrj9mA⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find out how to become a Certified Coach:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://connectioncodes.co/certified-coaching⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find a coach:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://connectioncodes.co/coaches#find-a-coach-menu⁠Connect with Elijah here: https://www.runyanstronghealth.com/Chapters: 00:00:00 - Opening Up: Why This Conversation Matters00:00:56 - What Neurodivergence Really Feels Like00:04:22 - When “Different” Becomes a Daily Struggle00:07:41 - From Shame to Identity: The Pain Behind Control00:12:14 - Why Being Seen Is More Powerful Than Being Helped00:21:15 - Raising Kids While Feeling Misunderstood00:22:22 - Making Room for Everyday Pain00:22:33 - Teaching Compassion Through Lived Experience00:25:10 - Travel, Triggers, and When Systems Break00:26:57 - Navigating Marriage with a Neurodivergent Lens00:29:13 - How We Learn to Speak Each Other’s Language00:30:19 - The Great Hanger Debate (Yes, Really)00:32:37 - Celebrating the Things That Set Us Apart00:35:10 - Final Thoughts on Connection, Curiosity, and Courage

Tera, Phyllis, and Dr. Glenn dive into the deeply human instinct to stay hidden—especially when emotions like shame, sadness, or anger begin to rise. Whether it's saying “I’m fine” when we’re not, or disconnecting to avoid discomfort, the episode unpacks how hiding becomes a form of emotional protection that ultimately costs us connection. Drawing from personal stories and the Connection Codes framework, the hosts reveal how early life messages taught us to suppress emotion rather than engage with it—and how staying hidden, even from ourselves, creates internal dissonance. Through honest reflection and practical tools, they guide listeners toward emotional safety and deeper intimacy by asking the core question: “What’s firing in me right now?” If you've ever shut down, avoided vulnerability, or longed to feel more seen in your relationships, this episode offers a compassionate and powerful path back to connection.Links and Resources:Download the Core Emotion Wheel: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://youtube.com/@connectioncodes?si=phORYBsGMOOrj9mA⁠⁠⁠⁠Find out how to become a Certified Coach:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://connectioncodes.co/certified-coaching⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find a coach:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://connectioncodes.co/coaches#find-a-coach-menu⁠⁠⁠⁠Chapters: 00:00:00 – When You Say “I’m Fine”… But You’re Not00:00:38 – Caught Hiding in the Pantry00:01:38 – The Emotional Weight of Disappearing00:02:34 – Wellness, Vulnerability, and Hidden Triggers00:05:55 – What Hiding Really Does to the Heart00:08:35 – The Silent Disconnect in Relationships00:11:26 – Why Hiding Becomes a Habit00:15:02 – What Happens When You Finally Speak It00:24:25 – The Emotion Wheel That Changed Everything00:25:20 – Saying the Thing You've Never Said00:27:33 – You Deserve to Be Seen00:30:48 – Finding Your Safe People00:33:04 – When Judgment Shuts Us Down00:38:11 – Using the Core Emotion Wheel in Real Life00:43:47 – Wrapping Up: Your Next Step Toward Connection

In this powerful episode of the Connection Codes podcast, Tera and Phyllis sit down with trauma-informed coach Echo Hill Vetter to break open what happens when we let go of punishment and choose connection over consequence. Together, they unpack why punishing our kids “into good behavior” often fails — and how to replace control with curiosity, repair, and true partnership. Echo shares how dance and movement are medicine for kids’ big feelings and how parenting leadership really means supporting our kids from beneath, not controlling them from above. If you’ve ever wondered, “If I don’t punish, what do I do instead?” — this honest conversation shows the way forward.Links and Resources:Download the Core Emotion Wheel: ⁠⁠⁠https://youtube.com/@connectioncodes?si=phORYBsGMOOrj9mA⁠⁠⁠Find out how to become a Certified Coach:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://connectioncodes.co/certified-coaching⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find a coach:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠https://connectioncodes.co/coaches#find-a-coach-menu⁠⁠⁠Chapters: 00:00:00 - Welcome + Why This Conversation Matters00:00:38 - Echo’s Raw and Real Parenting Story00:01:10 - When Parenting Feels Like Constant Friction00:01:24 - What It Means to Parent Through Trauma00:03:21 - Why Culture Taught Us to Punish00:05:04 - Dance, Movement & Emotional Survival00:08:28 - The Truth About Traditional Parenting Struggles00:09:22 - Choosing Connection Over Consequence00:18:13 - Leadership Reimagined: Parenting from Beneath00:21:40 - How Our Kids Mirror Us (Literally)00:22:10 - What to Do When Kids “Act Out”00:23:01 - Regulating Ourselves Before Reacting00:23:25 - Is Talking Back Actually a Good Sign?00:24:20 - Seeing the Need Behind the Behavior00:27:27 - Real-Life Tools for Collaborative Parenting00:28:57 - When Your Kid Is Wild (And Wonderful)00:34:51 - Curiosity and Compassion: The Game Changers00:36:13 - Echo’s Parting Encouragement to All Parents

If you are in a happy, loving relationship where you feel safe but have moments that suddenly your partner feels like the enemy... Ooooo... you aren't alone. It is easy to feel like they are the ones in the "wrong." Today, we talk about reframing our thoughts and having deep conversations to experience new depth and peace in your relationship.Links and Resources:Download the Core Emotion Wheel: ⁠⁠⁠https://youtube.com/@connectioncodes?si=phORYBsGMOOrj9mA⁠⁠⁠Find out how to become a Certified Coach:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://connectioncodes.co/certified-coaching⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find a coach:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠https://connectioncodes.co/coaches#find-a-coach-menu⁠Chapters:00:00:00 - Emotional Struggles And Communication Breakdowns00:03:52 - Dr. Glenn & Phyllis: Dedication To Helping Others00:07:40 - Importance Of Deep Connections In Relationships00:18:34 - Power Of Vulnerability In Relationships00:22:48 - Partnering Against The Cyclone: Unity And Protection00:27:55 - Building Deep Connections Through Connection Codes00:31:16 - Effects Of Physical Pain On Behavior And Parenting00:42:31 - Three Steps To Connect And Communicate00:46:02 - Power Of Consistency In Improving Relationships00:50:45 - Emotional And Physical Pain: Loneliness, Guilt, And Fear

When did motherhood start to mean sacrificing your whole self? In this honest episode, No Guilt Mom founder JoAnn Crohn joins Tera to unmask the hidden expectations that keep moms overwhelmed and stuck in cycles of guilt. JoAnn shares how a single permission slip — and a head of cabbage — helped her break free from the “selfless mom” myth, reclaim her identity, and build a thriving community where moms stop doing everything alone. If you’re ready to rewrite the good mom story and trade guilt for real connection, this episode is your sign to start now.Links and Resources:Download the Core Emotion Wheel: ⁠⁠⁠https://youtube.com/@connectioncodes?si=phORYBsGMOOrj9mA⁠⁠⁠Find out how to become a Certified Coach:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://connectioncodes.co/certified-coaching⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find a coach:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠https://connectioncodes.co/coaches#find-a-coach-menu⁠Website: noguiltmom.com JoAnn on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/joanncrohn/⁠⁠Chapters: 00:00:00 - Opening Thoughts & Gentle Disclaimer00:00:38 - Meet JoAnn: The Voice Behind No Guilt Mom00:02:49 - From “No Kids Ever” to Motherhood00:04:25 - Surviving Postpartum: The Turning Point00:06:58 - Why Moms Need Real Self-Care00:12:29 - Journaling: A Safe Space for Truth00:19:11 - Smashing the “Good Mom” Expectations00:22:43 - How Moms Cope (and Why It Changes)00:23:12 - Choosing Sobriety: What It Reveals00:23:40 - Why We All Need Community00:24:15 - Can AI Help Us Connect Better?00:26:05 - The Social Skills We’re All Relearning00:28:17 - Building Real Friendships (Not Just Playdates)00:30:30 - JoAnn’s HAPPY Framework in Action00:35:15 - Using the Core Emotion Wheel at Home00:41:03 - Final Takeaways & Resources You’ll Love

In this powerful episode, coach Echo Hill Vetter invites us into the often-ignored conversation between our minds and our bodies. With deep vulnerability and insight, Echo shares her transformative journey of realizing that trauma isn’t always dramatic—it’s often stored in the quiet, unmet needs of the body. From the radical idea of going to the bathroom when you need to, to learning how to “feel your feelings” physically, she offers a compassionate, body-first approach to emotional healing. This episode challenges the cultural narrative of self-abandonment and gives listeners practical tools to rebuild trust with themselves—one sensation at a time.Links and Resources:Download the Core Emotion Wheel: ⁠⁠https://youtube.com/@connectioncodes?si=phORYBsGMOOrj9mA⁠⁠Find out how to become a Certified Coach:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://connectioncodes.co/certified-coaching⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find a coach:⁠ ⁠⁠https://connectioncodes.co/coaches#find-a-coach-menu⁠⁠Chapters: 00:00:00 - Welcome + Why This Matters00:00:38 - Trauma Isn’t Just in Your Head00:01:57 - What Sent Echo Searching for Answers00:02:55 - The Moment Everything Shifted00:06:36 - Learning to Trust the Body Again00:09:48 - How to Actually Listen to Your Body00:12:26 - What Happens When You Meet Your Needs00:15:12 - Echo Gets Real About Her Past00:29:24 - When Your Body Is Screaming and You Still Ignore It00:30:23 - Emotions Are Physical—Here’s Proof00:32:09 - Small Changes That Change Everything00:33:43 - Mental Health Starts in the Body00:34:46 - Healing Ourselves to Heal Society00:36:25 - “Feel Your Feelings” — What That Actually Looks Like00:46:05 - The Tool That Changed How I See Emotions00:46:46 - Echo’s Honest Moment With Guilt + Shame00:52:47 - Final Thoughts + Where to Go Next

Dr. Glenn and Phyllis Hill welcome back Chris Cruz—Managing Director at Harbor + Union- for a powerful conversation on leadership, action, and emotional clarity. With refreshing vulnerability, Chris shares how the phrase “clarity is found in motion” transformed his approach to decision-making, leadership, and connection. Listeners will hear how fear often paralyzes us into waiting, but motion—taking a first step—can lead to surprising clarity. Tying this into the Connection Codes framework, Chris explains how emotional insight comes not from planning but from engaging—especially in conversation. This is a must-listen for anyone navigating fear, change, or relational stuckness and looking for practical tools to move forward with authenticity.Links and Resources:Download the Core Emotion Wheel: ⁠⁠https://youtube.com/@connectioncodes?si=phORYBsGMOOrj9mA⁠⁠Find out how to become a Certified Coach:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://connectioncodes.co/certified-coaching⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find a coach:⁠ ⁠⁠https://connectioncodes.co/coaches#find-a-coach-menu⁠LinkedIn – Chris Cruz: https://www.linkedin.com/in/chrisjosephcruz/Chris’s Instagram : @chriscruzThe Practice of Being with Jesus: https://tinyurl.com/4zzddd89⁠Chapters: 00:00:00 - A Warm Welcome + Why This Conversation Matters00:00:38 - Meet Chris Cruz: Storyteller, Pastor, Creative Voice00:00:55 - When Desire Isn’t Enough—Why Action Changes Everything00:01:36 - Life Lately: Chris Reflects on the Journey00:02:54 - “Clarity is Found in Motion”—The Quote That Sparked It All00:09:52 - Sitting with Fear, Moving Anyway00:14:19 - Processing in Real Time: What Happens When We Don’t Have it All Figured Out00:22:34 - Why Imperfection Might Be the Key to Starting00:23:09 - When Learning Becomes a Hiding Place—And How to Step Out00:25:12 - What Therapy Taught Me About Growth and Patience00:25:54 - Getting Honest About What’s Really Underneath: Fear, Shame, Guilt00:33:29 - Motion Brings Clarity: Why We Can’t Stay Still00:36:37 - Behind the Mic: Chris Shares His Podcast Journey00:39:33 - A Quiet Nudge Forward: Encouragement to Move Gently

In this powerful episode, certified Connection Codes coach Bridgett Blood shares her raw and transformative journey through 12 weeks of deep emotional work that redefined her understanding of peace, connection, and faith. Joined by Phyllis, Dr. Glenn, and Tera, she unpacks the shift from peacekeeping to peacemaking—revealing how naming harm, confronting emotional pain, and embracing core emotions like anger and sadness led to true restoration. Most profoundly, Bridgett reimagines her relationship with God—not as someone who rushes to fix, but as a presence who grieves with her. If you’ve ever longed for honest healing and a deeper spiritual connection, this episode offers both reflection and renewal.Links and Resources:Download the Core Emotion Wheel: ⁠https://youtube.com/@connectioncodes?si=phORYBsGMOOrj9mA⁠Find out how to become a Certified Coach:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://connectioncodes.co/certified-coaching⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find a coach:⁠ ⁠https://connectioncodes.co/coaches#find-a-coach-menu⁠Chapters: 00:00:00 - Welcome Back: Kicking Off a Deeply Personal Conversation00:00:17 - When Peace Demands More Than Quiet00:01:51 - Bridgett’s Journey Through Trauma and Truth00:03:21 - The Risk and Courage of Naming the Pain00:04:53 - What Real Peace in Relationships Actually Looks Like00:07:23 - Texts, Therapy, and Truth-Telling: Taking Brave Steps00:18:14 - When God Doesn’t Fix It—He Sits With You00:21:30 - Choosing Wholeness in the Middle of Family Tension00:21:59 - A Love That Stays: God’s Presence Without Conditions00:22:50 - Rethinking Miracles: It Doesn’t Always Look Like Rescue00:23:56 - How Owning Your Part Opens the Door to Healing00:24:33 - Partnering with God, Not Waiting for Magic00:25:42 - What Happens When You're Emotionally Honest with God00:30:04 - Feeling It All: Using the Core Motion Wheel00:37:24 - The Hard Work Is Worth It: Final Reflections