Conversations That Don't Suck

The podcast is taking an indefinite break, because the world is hard and weird and I need to hermit. I love you each. Listen for an explanation. I'll be back!

Sasha Raskin is on the podcast this week! Sasha and I met through the magic of Facebook (mild sarcasm, but also, amazing). In this episode, we discuss: - How she started her community A Beautiful Mess, her mental health journey, her experience checking herself into a mental hospital, paradoxes in emotions, the impact of vulnerability, the difference between real vulnerability and oversharing in leadership, and “safe spaces”. Sasha Raskin is the Founder of A BEAUTIFUL MESS (ABM), a mental health organization that runs corporate talks and events to combat loneliness, depression and stigma. Before that, she was a Hollywood literary agent representing dozens of bestsellers across the globe and even briefly ran a tech company, all the while struggling with debilitating depression. She started ABM to be the resource she wished she had when she was struggling the most. Additional links: Check out the COLLECTIVE UNKNOWN here: www.collectiveunknown.com Website: www.abeautifulmess.org Facebook Group (private and confidential) https://www.facebook.com/groups/3261029013925953/ Subscribe to her email list here https://rb.gy/4kd1tr Instagram https://www.instagram.com/abeautifulmess_org/ Follow Sasha’s Writing on Medium: https://blog.usejournal.com/@sashaalexraskin DONATE: No one is turned away for lack of funds to our events so many people attend for free. Please support our mission financially. Tax Deductible Donations can be made here https://abeautifulmess.gvng.org/ You can book a free exploratory call here: https://calendly.com/sraskin/15min

My roommate, dear friend, and fellow connection lover Jordan is on the podcast this week. And we’re using Convers(ate) cards! Convers(ate) Conversation Cards spark conversation about an interesting and universal topic using a unique set of question prompts. I LOVE these cards and highly recommend checking them out. Shout out to Taylor at Convers(ate) for reaching out and for enlightening me to these amazing cards! In this episode, we discuss: tattoos, relishing change vs resisting it, death and how memories last, responsibility in being free, how we understand the passing of time, the Backstreet Boys (always), and much more. I love doing these friendcasts and being able to hit record while having an amazing conversation with someone I love. Enjoy, y’all. A bit about Jord: Jordan Edelheit believes in the power of a story and that conversations that change perspectives have the ability to change the world. She became a TEDx organizer nearly a decade ago and has spent the time since often at the intersection of storytelling and exploring ideas that are central to our humanness. Alongside a talented team of incarcerated men, she co-produced the first major TEDx event in a correctional facility, TEDxMarionCorrectional, using the TEDx platform to promote conversations on justice and social change. Always fascinated by the human experience, her work has now led her to be both a birth doula and working with the nonprofit You're Going to Die, launching a program in prisons centered around creative expression and conversations surrounding death and our shared mortality. www.collectiveunknown.com www.convers-ate.com

Episode 5 of 5 in the series on under-felt, under-appreciated, under-processed emotions. Sensitivity is a big one, y'all. It's one that most people think is bad, too much, too unpleasant... but I think it's a huge gift (like all five of the emotions I've talked about these last episodes!) In this episode, I get into what sensitivity is, why it's challenging, and how we can become more attuned and discerning sensitive beings. Enjoy! As always, I love to hear your thoughts on these things. You can reach out to me via my website: www.kylasw.com The Collective Unknown is now live! www.collectiveunknown.com votesaveamerica.org nextgenamerica.org The Highly Sensitive Person by Dr. Elaine Aron

This is episode 4/5 of under-felt, under-appreciated, under-processed emotions. Heartbreak is my favorite thing to talk about, second to loneliness ;) and in this episode I dive into a few of the toughest experiences I've had with heartbreak, why I think it's so important to fully feel heartbreak, and how it expands our capacity for more love. This is a juicy one, and I hope y'all love it. You can also listen to episode 11 where I share some poetry on an experience of heartbreak I had had at that time. Check out my NEW PROJECT The Collective Unknown: www.collectiveunknown.com

This is episode 3 of 5 in a series on emotions that are often under-felt, under-appreciated, and under-processed. RAGE is a big one!! If you're not feeling rage this year, I'm not sure where you're living, but if you're anything like me, rage is a feeling that has followed you for more than a year. Especially for people socialized as women, rage is something we're rarely permissioned to experience, let alone actually embody or express. But there is SO MUCH WISDOM in rage, and in this episode I dive into some of my own experiences with it (just a lifetime or more), what we think rage is based on how it typically gets expressed (through aggression or violence), and how to move rage through the body in a healthy and clean way. Much love!

NEEDINESS - Does this word make your skin crawl the way that mine does?! This is part 2 of 5 in a series on difficult or under-processed emotions, and neediness is one of the most rejected feelings I've ever known, both in myself and others. I dive into what neediness is, the many ways it gets experienced, and what you can do to get more in touch with your neediness (and... dare I say... make friends with it?!) I hope y'all love this one. It's fun to deep-dive into some tough emotions with you. As always, I'd love to hear what you think - about this episode, or about other emotions you'd like to hear about over the next 3 episodes. www.theschooloflife.com

I'm lonely, you're lonely, we're all lonely. I'm back with another solocast. For the next 5 weeks, I'll speak to 5 different challenging emotions/emotional experiences, my thoughts on them through my research with loneliness and connection, and a few vulnerable shares of my own experiences with them. Y'all have been loving the solocasts, and I'd love to hear more of your feedback, thoughts, ideas, musings, questions. Much love!

Simone Humphrey and Signe Simon, the co-founders of LOVELINK, are on the pod this week! LOVELINK is a podcast, workshop series, and hosts other resources to help people connect more deeply to themselves and others. Simone Humphrey, PsyD, currently works at Therapists of New York, a private practice in midtown, Manhattan. She has a passion for developing creative and unconventional ways to promote mental health and wellbeing. Signe Simon, PhD, teaches graduate students and works with individuals, groups, and couples, and is committed to focusing on the healing power of relationships. I LOVED this conversation. It was so nourishing to have such a candid emotional and intellectual conversation around the difficulties of communicating during sex and in relationship. Y’all will love this one. In this conversation, we discuss: the #1 issue they see in their offices as therapists, why people feel lonely in partnerships, how younger generations experience more rejection, “vulnerability”, sexual trends over generations, communication in sex, and tolerating awkwardness. lovelink.co https://www.instagram.com/lovelinkco/ https://www.eventbrite.com/e/dating-during-covid-psychotherapy-group-tickets-116363234567

Gary Ware is on the podcast this week! Gary Ware, the Founder of Breakthrough Play, is a sought-after Corporate Facilitator and Keynote Speaker with nearly a decade of experience as a performer in improv theatre. He assists teams with unlocking creativity, confidence, and sparks collaboration with experiential methods proven to drive peak performance. Gary spent over a decade in the corporate world and originally pursued improv to master public speaking. He quickly discovered that combining improv and play could be a powerful solution to achieve various business challenges. Naturally, he created workshops for his team and other executives in his network to deepen relationships and improve creativity. Gary became obsessed on learning how to use play as a transformational tool and as a result, happily transitioned from marketing to pursue facilitation full time. Gary was also recently featured as one of the Top 100 HR influencers for 2020 by the Engagedly HR software platform. In this conversation, we discuss: how to bring play into corporate environments, the science behind play, creating safety in facilitation settings, the broadening definition of games and play, the different play personalities, and the different paths to play. https://www.breakthroughplay.com/playpersonalities

Casper ter Kuile is on the podcast this week, and this episode is just beautiful. Casper has been such a huge inspiration for me and I think is one of the most important current voices in the conversation around community and belonging. In this conversation, we discuss: ritual and meaning outside of religion, how ritual creates reminders of interconnectedness, Shabbat and Abraham Joshua Heschel, creating our own blessings for sacred moments, how individualizing our spirituality creates more loneliness, and creating a shared meaning of G-d and why this word feels unsafe to some. Casper ter Kuile is a researcher at Harvard Divinity School and the co-founder of Sacred Design Lab, and one half of the duo who created the popular podcast “Harry Potter and the Sacred Text” which goes by the motto “Reading fiction doesn’t help us escape the world, it helps us live in it”. Casper is the co-author of How We Gather, a cultural map of Millennial communities, and the co-founder of the UK Youth Climate Coalition and Campaign Bootcamp. A graduate of Harvard’s Divinity and Kennedy Schools, his work has been featured in The New York Times, The Boston Globe and on NPR.   He lives in New York City with his husband Sean. www.caspertk.com

Kasley is on the pod this week! Kasley was introduced to me by a mutual friend and let's just say it was intellectual love at first sight. Kasley specializes in the science of and strategies for social well-being: the dimension of health that comes from connection and community. She holds a master's in public health from Harvard University and is a writer, speaker, consultant, and member of local, state, and national coalitions working to address the loneliness epidemic. Based in San Francisco, Kasley led community engagement and strategic partnerships at Verily, the spin-out of Google focused on health tech, and previously conducted research on mental health and positive psychology. In this conversation, we discuss: loneliness stats in the pandemic (that you may be surprised to hear), the importance of relationships on our physical health, our experiences with loneliness and connection, Kasley’s public health research on social health, chronic vs. situational loneliness, why more friends is not the answer to loneliness, the shifting needs of social capital, and the future of loneliness and connection with physical distancing. Website: http://kasleykillam.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/KasleyKillam Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/killam.with.kindness/ Scientific American articles: https://www.scientificamerican.com/author/kasley-killam/ Psychology Today blog: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/social-health

The second solocast is here, and it's been a long time comin'. The first one that I released back in March (the heartbreak episode) is the most downloaded episode I've ever released. I've hesitated to reveal more of myself in this highly personal way but then I sat down and read you a journal entry so... oops. I think there are many more to come, because uh, I haven't been around enough people lately and I have a lot of thoughts and feelings. Enjoy! PS - like these solocasts? What else do you want to hear about? I can muse on just about anything. Fill out my contact form at www.kylasw.com and let me know.

We've got Jacques Martiquet on the pod this week! Jacques is an international party scientist who has facilitated ecstatic celebrations at Envision Festival, Shambhala Festival, LUSH Cosmetics, and Lululemon. Jacques has been interviewed by VICE media about his mission to bridge public health and party culture. Jacques' current focus is working within the events industry to address the loneliness epidemic, by offering new entertainment experiences founded on fun and social connection. In this conversation, we discuss: weirdness, party science, how celebration can lead us to more fulfilling, healthy lives, how alcohol and tobacco industries have commodified the act of celebration, our perceptions of other people’s perceptions, sober vs. drunk connection, how to source joy, and the co-creation of celebration. VYVE: vyve.life My sister's fashion company: www.quellnyc.com

Alisha Yi and David Xiang are on the podcast this week - the first DOUBLE GUEST episode in the podcast's short history. Alisha and David are the creators of the Hope Storytelling Project, a virtual series of poetry workshops designed to discuss themes of hope and vulnerability. Alisha M. Yi is a rising junior at Harvard University, studying History and Science and is a 2018 U.S. Presidential Scholar in the Arts for Writing. David Xiang graduated this year magna cum laude from Harvard University with a degree in History and Science, and is an incoming medical student at Harvard Medical School. In 2015, he was selected as a National Student Poet, the nation’s highest honor for youth poets. In this conversation, we discuss: How poetry helps make vulnerability accessible, how intergenerational spaces create more opportunities for connection and empathy, what we don’t know about others, how Alisha and David each got started writing poetry, loneliness, competition, and connection on college campuses, coming to terms with leaving college during the pandemic, AND POETRY SHARES!!! Scientific American article: https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/using-poetry-to-combat-loneliness-and-social-isolation/ Join their last session of the storytelling project here!: https://www.cambridgema.gov/en/cpl/calendarofevents/2020/05/27/thehopestorytellingprojectfindingcomfort https://lvccld.bibliocommons.com/events/5ec41a3e171b7a24001534e1

Melanie Aronson is on the podcast this week, and we get into a super juicy conversation about the ways that our culture and societal norms affect the loneliness of its inhabitants. Melanie is US-born but currently living in Sweden and we get into all the nuances of what is considered "normal" in connection and our own experiences with loneliness. In this conversation, we discuss: Melanie’s research on middle eastern integration in Sweden, her app Pinion aimed to connect people with similar interests, how individualistic societies breed socially isolated people, why Scandinavian countries are both the happiest and most lonely countries on earth, hardship as connection, and the nuances of loneliness and connection. Melanie Aronson is the founder and CEO of Panion, an app for connecting like-minded people and building community around common interests. She has a bachelors in anthropology from Columbia University and a masters in documentary filmmaking from the School of Visuals Arts in NYC. Melanie worked in sales for Apple for almost 3 years and for more than 10 years as a freelance filmmaker, photographer and designer. She moved from NYC to Sweden on a Fulbright grant in 2014 and has lived there ever since. https://www.panion.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/getpanion/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/panion.app/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/panionapp Melanie's Twitter: @melaniearonson

Jan Keck is on the podcast this week, and it was such a joy to speak with someone who has an equal love for deep questions and deeper conversation. I hope you enjoy it! Jan Keck is a community addict. He is the creator of ASK DEEP QUESTIONS, which started out as a deck of cards to help his friends connect on a camping trip and is now being used to facilitate meaningful conversations through sharing personal and vulnerable stories on every continent around the globe. Jan’s mission is to help people feel less alone, so by creating experiences, workshops and programs he is fueling the movement for deeper human connection. His work has been featured on CBC News, Breakfast TV, Cityline and HuffPost and he is currently working on his first TEDx Talk on how to turn shallow conversations into deep connections. www.jankeck.com www.askdeepquestions.com White allyship resources: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1bUJrgX8vspyy7YttiEC2vD0DawrpPYiZs94V0ov7qZQ/htmlview?fbclid=IwAR3OetQxGpN9_9-58ZqlWoG3TRRiZW-bNUThue9WeWA624NA9j1sIxDYmL0&pru=AAABcpUTjc0*mLgUvt8ezoIeNASzOBamKw

The Friendcast is back! This week I'm sitting down with my sassy, gorgeous, divine feminine friend Georgia and we talk about allll the things. We get into: the story of how Georgia and I met in Tel Aviv, our bond over shared experiences with food and body image, the ritual of women gathering under the moon, the grey area of healing, the beautiful, healing, catalytic power of women, and dealing with body image during a pandemic. It was truly so beautiful and refreshing to sit down (virtually, across the world) with a dear friend, hit record, and talk so honestly about our struggles with body image. I love you Georgia, thank you for doing this! The Goddess Temple: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1500569626930385/

A.J. Bond is on the podcast this week, and it's an eddddggyyyy oneee! A.J. is a writer, filmmaker, and shame educator based in Toronto. He is the host of the podcast Discomfortable and is currently completing his certification with the Center for Healing Shame in Berkeley. In this episode, we discuss: A.J.’s journey with discovering his own shame, the process of learning to work with shame, how to differentiate between our own shame and that of others, how my shame presents itself around arrogance, our shame as it relates to our bodies, aging, and sexuality, why acceptance and compassion are powerful shame antidotes, and how healing shame changes our quality of communication. www.discomfortable.net Twitter: @discomfrtble

Kyle Zamcheck, my sister from another mister, is on the podcast this week! Kyle is truly a remarkable human being and I'm so super duper grateful for this epic, raw conversation we had. In this episode, we discuss: the death of Toni Lane Casserly, how to make an impact, femininity in intellectual spaces, the humanity in Zoom calls, intimate communication in everyday life, the ego in altruistic work, the dark side of caregiving and “showing up” for others, healing our wounds through our work, my own shadow side with my work and my fears of judgement in that, and the Enneagram (duh). Kyle Zamcheck is the co-founder of Listenly, teaching cutting edge communication tools and matching people for listening sessions through a digital platform, in-person meetups, and remote workshops. She is a technology industry leader and an executive communication coach with the Speech Improvement Company. She is the former COO of Jackrabbit Mobile, where she led the team to become one of Inc’s 5000 fastest growing companies. She is currently working on healing the world through impactful communication. She trains leaders, startup CEOs, fortune 500 companies such as Google, and main stage speakers from Silicon Valley to the National Security Agency. Her work focuses on the intersection of humans and technology. Listenly website: www.listenly.co The Connection Institute open house 5/18-5/24: http://www.theconnectioninstitute.net/open-house-week?fbclid=IwAR1CZfzNZmN8edGVzx0rySAXXAdP6v_da3Qq4qDZnNuY6wTOTEfZ7OWxGQQ