Conversations with Annalisa Barbieri

Welcome back! This is episode 1 of Series 10. Here I'm in conversation with UKCP registered psychotherapist and author Julia Bueno (who joined us in Series 4 talking about the Inner Critic, so do have a listen to that one, too).I get a lot of letters asking either 'should I have a/nother baby' full stop or 'I want one/another one but my partner doesn't'. Julia and I explore what issues come up around this question, what those issues can tell you about yourself, your partner and your relationship and how to go about dealing with them. We also explore going it alone - and whilst we can't tell you what to do, we suggest questions you can ask yourself and things to think about that may help you get there. It's a huge question and one that deserves a lot of thought.Julia has a particular interest in our reproductive lives, her first book The Bring of Being explored the varied experiences of miscarriage. Her second book was called Everyone’s a Critic and explored our own self criticism.  Find out more about her: juliabueno.co.uk, Instagram: @julia_bueno_therapist.Everyone’s A CriticThe Brink of BeingIf you'd like to support us you can leave a one off donation here: https://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieriIf you'd like to listen to this episode, past or future ones, ad free then consider becoming a Substacker: https://pocketannalisa.substack.com/. From £5 a month or £50 (2025 rates) a year you'll get access to all new podcasts as soon as they are available and before general release and ad-free.You can also support us by sharing this podcast far and wide, it's available wherever you listen to your podcasts. And leaving a review if you can. Thank you so much.Produced by Hester Cant. Art work by Lo Cole. Music by Toby Dunham.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This podcast was inspired by Graham Music's book of the same name, Womb Life which is the best book on pregnancy I've ever read.Graham and I talk about the secret life of twins in the womb and how their observed behaviour (via ultra sound) can translate to life outside the womb, too. Why did one little boy shake all his toys? What was he looking for? Do babies really cry in the womb? We find out in this episode.What can affect a foetus? How much does stress and nutrition matter? Does it matter if your grandmother was stressed whilst she was pregnant with one of your parents?How and why do some of the baby's cells end up in the mother way after birth?I found this a fascinating episode and Graham's book (which is a strong recommend) goes into even more detail and scientific research.If you'd like to support us you can leave a one off donation here: https://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieriIf you'd like to listen to this episode, past or future ones, ad free then consider becoming a Substacker: https://pocketannalisa.substack.com/. From £5 a month or £50 a year you'll get access to all new podcasts as soon as they are available and before general release and ad-free. Plus subscriber exclusive newsletters.You can also support us by sharing this podcast far and wide, it's available wherever you listen to your podcasts. And leaving a review if you can. Thank you so much.Produced by Hester Cant. Art work by Lo Cole. Music by Toby Dunham.Find out more about Graham and buy his books: https://nurturingnatures.co.uk/Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this, the penultimate episode of Series 9, I talk to UKCP accredited psychotherapist Lisa Bruton who is also a guest tutor at the University of Oxford. We talk about the Parentified Child. Which is? A child who has been given too much responsibility - either physical or emotional - too young. The impact of this is interesting. Do you often find yourself being the most responsible person in the room? Do people look to you for advice (ahem) and guidance? It may be because you are used to performing this role, from way too young. Parentified children can grow up to be exhausted adults. Who looks after them? And why the phrase "my child is my best friend" gives Bruton and I pause.In this episode we look at what exactly being a parentified child looks and feels like, from both the child and adult’s POV. What you can do if you recognise yourself as one and how to avoid doing that to your own children. More about Lisa here: https://www.lisabruton.comIf you'd like to support us you can leave a one off donation here: https://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieriIf you'd like to listen to this episode, past or future ones, ad free then consider becoming a Substacker: https://pocketannalisa.substack.com/. From £5 a month or £50 a year you'll get access to all new podcasts as soon as they are available and before general release and ad-free. Plus subscriber exclusive newsletters.You can also support us by sharing this podcast far and wide, it's available wherever you listen to your podcasts. And leaving a review if you can. Thank you so much.Produced by Hester Cant. Art work by Lo Cole. Music by Toby Dunham.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, an idea suggested by my conversationalist, clinical psychologist and psychoanalyst Dr Stephen Blumenthal, we explore the big, painful emotion of loss.We tend to body swerve feeling or thinking about loss, and who can blame us? It hurts, it’s horrible. But loss is essential to growth - think of a snake shedding its skin. In order to go onto the next stage we need to leave the one we’re at.But there’s normal loss such as leaving school or a job, and traumatic loss where everything comes at once, like an unexpected or early death or devastating news. This takes far longer to process. Note: process not get over.The loss I’ve noticed most people don’t want to talk about is death, dying, illness and the accompanying grief and yet, as Dr B tells us, if it’s managed ‘well’ post traumatic growth can be rich. But where would loss be without hope? There has to be hope to make loss’s losses easier to bear. Have a listen and be kind to yourself if you find this tough.If you'd like to support us you can leave a one off donation here: https://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieriIf you'd like to listen to this episode, past or future ones, ad free then consider becoming a Substacker: https://pocketannalisa.substack.com/. From £5 a month or £50 a year you'll get access to all new podcasts as soon as they are available and before general release and ad-free. Plus subscriber exclusive newsletters.You can also support us by sharing this podcast far and wide, it's available wherever you listen to your podcasts. And leaving a review if you can. Thank you so much.Produced by Hester Cant. Art work by Lo Cole. Music by Toby Dunham.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Increasingly I get asked this question a lot in my Guardian column. Not from a financial POV but the 'should I retire and what will life be like afterwards?' question. Welcome to episode 3 in this series. It's all about a word that has rather negative associations- retirement - but after listening to this hopefully you'll look at it differently.Once upon a time when we retired was dictated by our work place and/or pensions. Or people were so exhausted by their physically demanding jobs they were totally spent by the time they got to 55. But things have changed. The state pension age has shifted upwards in the UK and for more people it's now a choice. Work can define many of us, so what happens when work stops? Chris Mills, a regular conversationalist and guest in my Guardian column, casts a beautiful new light on what retirement might look like and why we might consider it. Lots to think about here even if you're nowhere near retirement age. I hope you enjoy it!Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to episode 2 of Series 9 (Series 9 will be released sporadically). Should We Move?This has always been a question I've been asked a lot via my Guardian column (and in real life) but after the pandemic it was a question that reached, dare I say it, epidemic proportions. It's a simple enough question but the reasoning behind it can really tell us a lot about ourselves. Many people move to get away from problems, not realising that the problems go with them. This is why a few well aimed questions are worth asking of yourself before you move.There are some very boring things to consider, too which we run through in this episode. Look out for anything that makes you feel defensive, either in this episode or when people mention certain things to you - those are the very issues you should be digging down into. I've known people who've maxed out their London homes to stretch themselves to buy a huge country pile - with no financial buffer. People who've moved to the middle of nowhere even though they can't drive. Or not considering schools/transport links/hospitals. These are the things that can make or break a successful move. I**************If you'd like to support us you can leave a one off donation here: https://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieriIf you'd like to listen to this episode, past or future ones, ad free then consider becoming a patron on Patreon, from just £3 a month. You also get early access to episodes. For £5 a month you get them as soon as they are produced: https://www.patreon.com/c/annalisabarbieriYou can also support us by sharing this podcast far and wide, it's available wherever you listen to your podcasts. And leaving a review if you can. Thank you so much.Produced by Hester Cant. Art work by Lo Cole. Music by Toby Dunham.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I'd been wanting to do this podcast for a while. Professor Alessandra Lemma is one of the most experienced, and insightful, specialists I work with. Every word she shares is a gem. But Pr Lemma's diary is packed and so this took a while to organise. I hope you think it was worth it.The idea for this episode - the first in Series 9 - came to me last year but in reality, it had probably been bubbling away for some years. Alessandra and I were working on a problem for my Guardian column. The problem was from a reader who said that, despite them being an adult, they were still being body shamed by their parents for being overweight, this is sadly by no means an unusual problem to arrive on my desk. In our chat Alessandra said a line which stayed with me all of last year. It was this: you can’t delete developmental history it is always there even if you change the surface of the body. From this we went off topic a little, as my chats with my specialists sometimes, to talk about how - with some caveats - people who modified their bodies through things like cosmetic or plastic surgery, often didn’t feel happier because whatever developmental history that had led them to be unhappy with themselves, lay within then and beyond the reach of any sort of body modification. It got me thinking about how our body image is arrived at. Do we make it, or do others shape it? Why are so many people unhappy with they way they look? In this episode we look at how our body image is formed, who shapes it and how we can try to change our internal dialogue about it. A very useful listen, also, if you are a parent as we often help shape what our children feel about their bodies. **************If you'd like to support us you can leave a one off donation here: https://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieriIf you'd like to listen to this episode, past or future ones, ad free then consider becoming a patron on Patreon, from just £3 a month. You also get early access to episodes. For £5 a month you get them as soon as they are produced: https://www.patreon.com/c/annalisabarbieriYou can also support us by sharing this podcast far and wide, it's available wherever you listen to your podcasts. And leaving a review if you can. Thank you so much.Produced by Hester Cant. Art work by Lo Cole. Music by Toby Dunham.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This is the last episode, episode six, in Series 8 and in it I talk to UKCP registered family and systemic psychotherapist and John Cavanagh who is also a registered mental health nurse. John specialises in child and adolescent mental health.Often children will manifest with a mental health problem that is indicative of what's going on in the family. We talk about this, what those problems might look like, why it's important to treat children as part of the family unit. John also talks us through the CAMHS system which I know some people find very difficult to navigate. We also talk about common adolescent and child problems and how to manage them if your child comes to you with them. Useful links we talk about in the podcast: YoungMinds | Mental Health Charity For Children And Young People | YoungMinds Information for 11-18 year olds on understanding CAMHS - Mind Stay Alive App: 'a suicide prevention app for the UK, packed full of resources, useful information, and tools to help you stay safe or help someone else'.StayAlive - Essential suicide prevention for everyday life CalmHarm (https://calmharm.co.uk/)DistrACT (https://www.expertselfcare.com/health-apps/distract/) NHS England » NHS Mental Health Apps Library to increase access to psychological therapies and help to improve mental health outcomes www.psychotherapy.org.uk (Registered psychotherapists search by specialism or area) www.aft.org.uk***************If you'd like to support us you can leave a one off donation here: https://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieriIf you'd like to listen to this episode, past or future ones, ad free then consider becoming a patron on Patreon, from just £3 a month. You also get early access to episodes. For £5 a month you get them as soon as they are produced.Produced by Hester Cant. Art work by Lo Cole. Music by Toby Dunham.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Very early on in my career as The Guardian's Agony Aunt the letters started coming in about family estrangements - the "should I cut X out of my life" style questions. Back then, cutting a family member out was anathema to me but over the years, i came to understand why some people sought it out. The thing is, cutting someone out is rarely the end of the problem. Sometimes it's only the beginning.In this episode I talk to long-time conversationalist psychotherapist Chris Mills about why some situations become so bad that estrangement seems like the only answer - indeed is it the only answer? What it can mean and how to try to build bridges after an estrangement (maybe one not of your making) if that's what feels right. If you'd like to support us you can leave a one off donation here: https://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieriIf you'd like to listen to this episode, past or future ones, ad free then consider becoming a patron on Patreon, from just £3 a month. You also get early access to episodes. For £5 a month you get them as soon as they are produced.Produced by Hester Cant. Art work by Lo Cole. Music by Toby Dunham.IG: @annalisabarbieriLinks to further work: linktr.ee/annalisabarbieriSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What is attachment and how does attachment theory different from the primary real-life attachment we learnt as babies? The two often get confused. In this episode I talk to child, adolescent and adult psychotherapist Dr Graham Music who has been described as "one of the most deep thinking child psychotherapists in the world."We talk about these differences, plus the concept of attachment which is how secure we feel with our primary care given and how our needs were met, and the impact that can have on our later life. Attachment is at the core of every letter I get, ergo every problem I think we come across in our daily lives. How we relate to others can very often lead back to our early attachment figures. Dr Graham Music is registered with the Association of Child Psychotherapists and the UKCP. He is also the author of some amazing books such as Respark, Nurturing Natures and Nurturing children. We talked together in Series 4 on How to Motivate Your Child.You can find out more about Graham from his website: https://nurturingnatures.co.uk/If you'd like to support us you can leave a one off donation here: https://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieriIf you'd like to listen to this episode, past or future ones, ad free then consider becoming a patron on Patreon, from just £3 a month. You also get early access to episodes. For £5 a month you get them as soon as they are produced.Produced by Hester Cant. Art work by Lo Cole. Music by Toby Dunham.IG: @annalisabarbieriLinks to further work: linktr.ee/annalisabarbieriSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Forensic psychotherapy is psychotherapy with people who have committed criminal offences. In this episode I talk with clinical psychologist and psychoanalyst Dr Stephen Blumenthal who is registered with the British Psychoanalytic Council and has over thirty years experience in treating people. Stephen started his professional life as a clinical psychologist in a secure unit with offenders. Stephen has also written a couple of books on forensic psychotherapy, the latest of which is called Assessing Risk, a Relationship Approach.I was in conversation with Stephen in Series 7, talking about shame, which would make a good companion listen to this one.In this episode we talk about what forensic psychotherapy is, what it can tell us about the person committing the crimes, as well as society in general and why talking groups, such as the one Stephen presides over, can radically diminish re-offending. All crime has a meaning. This would make a particularly interesting listen to those who are fascinated by true crime podcasts.If you'd like to support us you can leave a one off donation here: https://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieriIf you'd like to listen to this episode, past or future ones, ad free then consider becoming a patron on Patreon, from just £3 a month. You also get early access to episodes. For £5 a month you get them as soon as they are produced.Produced by Hester Cant. Art work by Lo Cole. Music by Toby Dunham.IG: @annalisabarbieriLinks to further work: linktr.ee/annalisabarbieriSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Did you know that procrastination, risky behaviour, blaming others and even infidelity may be a sign of self-sabotage? There are a host of other symptoms, too. In this, episode 2 or Series 8, I discuss with psychotherapist Ryan Bennett-Clarke why we might self sabotage, what it tells us about ourselves and of course, what we can do about it. If you'd like to support us you can leave a one off donation here: https://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieriIf you'd like to listen to this episode, past or future ones, ad free then consider becoming a patron on Patreon, from just £3 a month. You also get early access to episodes. For £5 a month you get them as soon as they are produced.Produced by Hester Cant. Art work by Lo Cole. Music by Toby Dunham.IG: @annalisabarbieriLinks to further work: linktr.ee/annalisabarbieriSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to series 8 of Conversations with Annalisa Barbieri. This episode was Professor Lucy Easthope's idea as it’s something she really wanted to talk about and I’m honoured she has trusted me with this delicate subject. In this episode Lucy talks openly about her very personal five baby losses by miscarriage. Lucy is Professor of Practice of Risk and Hazard at the University of Durham and a Professor in Mass Fatalities at the University of Bath. She studied law at university and has a masters in disaster management and a pHD in medicine.Lucy is a UK Expert and advisor on emergency planning and disaster recovery and a world authority on these subjects. She works with governments, emergency services and communities and families who have been affected by disaster. She’s advised on almost every major disaster that’s happened in the last two decades.She is also the author of the best seller: When the Dust Settles, Searching for Hope after disaster. Her baby losses are talked about candidly throughout the book but in particular in Chapter Seven, Little Losses.Links listeners may find useful:https://www.tommys.org/https://www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/https://www.sands.org.uk/If you'd like to support us you can leave a one off donation here: https://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieriIf you'd like to listen to this episode, past or future ones, ad free then consider becoming a patron on Patreon, from just £3 a month. You also get early access to episodes. For £5 a month you get them as soon as they are produced.Produced by Hester Cant. Art work by Lo Cole. Music by Toby Dunham.IG: @annalisabarbieriLinks to further work: linktr.ee/annalisabarbieriSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This is the final episode in Series 7. It's about birth trauma and I speak with journalist, author and CEO of The BTA, Kim Thomas.We talk about what birth trauma is, what can cause it (we do not go into graphic detail), how it can manifest and how to get help. We discuss the difference between Post Natal Depression and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder brought on by birth trauma. We also discuss the impact of birth trauma on birthing partners.May 2024 update: Parliamentary report.Some organisations we talk about in the episode:The Birth Trauma Association.Kim Thomas's book on PTSD and Birth Trauma.Masic: https://masic.org.uk/about-masic/Magnolia midwives: https://www.instagram.com/magnoliamidwives/?hl=enDoula UK: https://doula.org.ukTommy's: https://www.tommys.orgNice Guidelines: https://www.nice.org.uk/guidanceRoyal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists: https://www.rcog.org.ukhttps://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/postnatal-depression-and-perinatal-mental-health/useful-contacts/If you'd like to support us you can leave a one off donation here: https://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieriIf you'd like to listen to this episode, past or future ones, ad free then consider becoming a patron on Patreon, from just £3 a month. You also get early access to episodes. For £5 a month you get them as soon as they are produced.Produced by Hester Cant.IG: @annalisabarbieriAll links to pretty much everything else I do: linktr.ee/annalisabarbieriSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Interviewing Ryan Bennett-Clarke for my Guardian column - about something else entirely - we got talking about envy. And what he had to say fair blew my mind.What is envy? How does it differ from jealously? Where does it come from and how does it manifest? If you've ever left a person feeling like little bits of you have been taken away, well envy may be the answer. We talk about how envy feels, why people get jealous or envious, how it's on the rise with social media; and we also talk about some nifty ways to 'interrupt' envy. How to answer back to those barbs. I found this one of the most thought-provoking episodes I've ever done and I have to admit I looked at certain people in a different way. Dare I say this is life-changing? I think it might be.Ryan Bennett-Clarke, né Marjoram is a UKCP accredited psychotherapist. He has written two papers for The Journal of Psychodynamic Practice:The Insidious Dance of Love and Hate: An examination of Envy and Greed in the Stalker-Victim Dynamic: Part One - Theoryhttps://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/14753634.2022.2039880 The Insidious Dance of Love and Hate: An examination of Envy and Greed in the Stalker-Victim Dynamic: Part Two - Clinical Applicationhttps://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/14753634.2022.2039881  and you can read more about Ryan here:Let us know if you feel this episode has brought up any thoughts, or if you have ideas for other episodes: conversationswithannalisa@gmail.comIf you'd like to support us you can leave a one off donation here: https://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieriIf you'd like to listen to this episode, past or future ones, ad free then consider becoming a patron on Patreon, from just £3 a month. You also get early access to episodes. For £5 a month you get them as soon as they are produced.Thanks so much for listening and please remember to share with friends and if you feel able to, leave a review, it really helps.The producer is Hester Cant, the music is Toby Dunham and our artwork is by Lo Cole.IG: @annalisabarbieriAll links to pretty much everything else I do: linktr.ee/annalisabarbieriSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Although unresolved grief can hit us at any stage in our lives, this episode specifically talks about childhood bereavement and the impact it can have on adulthood. My guest is UKCP and BACP registered psychotherapist and researcher Mandy Gosling who, as we shall hear, has personal experience of early bereavement.An early bereavement can lodge - if not processed - and be carried into adult hood, manifesting as inability to hold down jobs or relationships, feelings of loneliness or depression (of course you can feel all these things without having been bereaved). Mandy talks about her personal experiences, how they impacted and how we can help children process grief and if that's now you as an adult, what you might consider doing to lighten your psychological load.You can learn more about Mandy and her work here: www.abcgrief.co.uk or www.mandygosling.co.uk Some useful bereavement websites:https://www.winstonswish.orghttps://www.childbereavementuk.orghttps://www.cruse.org.ukLet us know if you feel this episode has brought up any thoughts, or if you have ideas for other episodes: conversationswithannalisa@gmail.comIf you'd like to support us you can leave a one off donation here: https://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieriIf you'd like to listen to this episode, past or future ones, ad free then consider becoming a patron on Patreon, from just £3 a month. You also get early access to episodes. For £5 a month you get them as soon as they are produced.Thanks so much for listening and please remember to share with friends and if you feel able to, leave a review, it really helps.The producer is Hester Cant, the music is Toby Dunham and our artwork is by Lo Cole.IG: @annalisabarbieriAll links to pretty much everything else I do: linktr.ee/annalisabarbieriSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dr Stephen Blumenthal returns (catch him in Series 2 talking about Intimacy and Trust in Series 5) and this time we're talking about shame. What it is, how it differs to humiliation and embarrassment or even guilt. Shame can make people act differently - either because they are avoiding shame or trying to cover up the shame they already feel. Where does shame come from? And why is some shame useful to society?If you’d like to learn more about Dr Blumenthal and his work you can do so at https://stephenblumenthal.com.Let us know if you feel this episode has brought up any thoughts, or if you have ideas for other episodes: conversationswithannalisa@gmail.comIf you'd like to support us you can leave a one off donation here: https://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieriIf you'd like to listen to this episode, past or future ones, ad free then consider becoming a patron on Patreon, from just £3 a month. You also get early access to episodes. For £5 a month you get them as soon as they are produced.Thanks so much for listening and please remember to share with friends and if you feel able to, leave a review, it really helps.The producer is Hester Cant, the music is Toby Dunham and our artwork is by Lo Cole.IG: @annalisabarbieriAll links to pretty much everything else I do: linktr.ee/annalisabarbieriSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Professor Lucy Easthope is a UK expert and advisor on emergency planning and disaster recover. A world authority on recovery and disaster planning and its aftermath. She’s Professor of Practice of Risk and Hazard at the university of Durham and a professor in Mass Fatalities at the university of Bath.Lucy studied law at university and has a masters in disaster management and a pHD in medicine.In 2022 Lucy published a best selling book that talks a lot about her work and a little about her life called When the Dust Settles, Searching for Hope after disaster. It’s a must read and one that I recommend to all who will listen. If anyone knows about planning it’s Lucy and in this episode we talk about how she takes her incredible experience into every day life. Can we ever plan too much? Why is planning a good idea but how we should also leave a little room for spontaneity. Perhaps. And one of the most important take aways for me - look after the planner in the familyYou can find her website here: http://whatevernext.info/Let us know if you feel this episode has brought up any thoughts, or if you have ideas for other episodes: conversationswithannalisa@gmail.comIf you'd like to support us you can leave a one off donation here: https://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieriIf you'd like to listen to this episode, past or future ones, ad free then consider becoming a patron on Patreon, from just £3 a month. You also get early access to episodes. For £5 a month you get them as soon as they are produced.Thanks so much for listening and please remember to share with friends and if you feel able to, leave a review, it really helps.The producer is Hester Cant, the music is Toby Dunham and our artwork is by Lo Cole.IG: @annalisabarbieriAll links to pretty much everything else I do: linktr.ee/annalisabarbieriSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Where to die? Not everyone gets that choice but you or a loved one might and that choice may be to go home from a hospice or hospital or care home, or go into one. In this sensitively handled but hugely informative episode, I talk again to Dr Kathryn Mannix, palliative care doctor and author of two excellent books: With the End in Mind and Listen. We talk about what to think about: care, equipment, environment, all things that need to be carefully considered and weighed up. When my own mother was dying and she wanted to go home, I was tortured by what to do and doing the Right Thing. Dr Kathryn Mannix held my hand through this process and lessened some of the pain. Despite the subject matter we end the episode on a really poetic, positive takeaway from Kathryn which should soothe even the most troubled of souls.A few links we refer to and which you may find useful:https://eol-doula.uk/https://www.kathrynmannix.com/Let us know if you feel this episode has brought up any thoughts, or if you have ideas for other episodes: conversationswithannalisa@gmail.comIf you'd like to support us you can leave a one off donation here: https://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieriIf you'd like to listen to this episode, past or future ones, ad free then consider becoming a patron on Patreon, from just £3 a month. You also get early access to episodes. For £5 a month you get them as soon as they are produced.Thanks so much for listening and please remember to share with friends and if you feel able to, leave a review, it really helps.The producer is Hester Cant, the music is Toby Dunham and our artwork is by Lo Cole.IG: @annalisabarbieriAll links to pretty much everything else I do: linktr.ee/annalisabarbieriSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Not what makes a relationship real vs fantasy or made up, but the nubbins of relationships, the reality. Many people seem unprepared for what a real relationship looks and feels like, and this might be because of how they are portrayed on TV and on social media where many times it's only the polar opposites which are show: either people talking about how fantastic their relationship is or how terrible. Real relationships are quite ordinary. But what should they be like? Is it okay to argue? When do you know if your relationship has tipped from 'real' to dysfunctional or even abusive? If relationships are such hard work why do we even bother to have them?Joanna Harrison is the author of an excellent book called Five Arguments All Couples Need To Have, but she was also a divorce lawyer in a former life, and is now a senior clinician at Tavistock Relationships and a consultant to parents and separating couples at the law firm Family Law in Partnership. You can read more about her and her work at joannaharrison.co.uk. She's on Instagram as @joannaharrisoncoupletherapy.Let us know if you feel this episode has brought up any thoughts, or if you have ideas for other episodes: conversationswithannalisa@gmail.comIf you'd like to support us you can leave a one off donation here: https://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieriIf you'd like to listen to this episode, past or future ones, ad free then consider becoming a patron on Patreon, from just £3 a month. You also get early access to episodes.Thanks so much for listening and please remember to share with friends and if you feel able to, leave a review, it really helps.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.