Crazy for Swayze

234 Episodes

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North and South: Book II, Chapter IV (1986) Rewatch w/ Jo and Mal

2025-10-2901:33:17

It's an animal-news heavy What's Old Is New Again, with a carve-out for The Fenian Brotherhood. Also, Dick Cheatham goes to war. The gang reviews their US History education, and, as always, Jo knows the most. All that to say, this episode of everyone's favorite Civil War propaganda piece has way too much sexual violence, and we would rather talk about nearly anything else. And finally, introducing: The Cuck-o-meter.

S. Darko: A Donnie Darko Tale (2009) [Swayze Adjacent]

2025-10-2201:32:12

It's a sequel that absolutely no one asked for. Except us. It's for us, I guess.

The Mummy (1999) [Swayze Adjacent]

2025-10-1501:33:54

IT'S THE FIRST OF EPISODE OF CRAZIER FOR FRASER, which can mean only one thing: Danny and Pickle are here together and again. Josh has never seen this movie, and everyone refuses to believe it. Check out Patreon.com/NoOneWorkHere for episodes of THAT'S MY MONSTER: DRACULA, hosted by Danny himself.

Child's Play 2 (1990) [Swayze Adjacent]

2025-10-0801:36:08

Child's Play 2 (1990) [Swayze Adjacent].It's another Slimeball Cinerma collaboration! AJ is back and we're ready to get Charlesed. Featuring: general Child's Play and Chucky talk, the unexpected return of L.O.W.E.R.O.B., and the voice of Rog (and also Gene!)!

The Substance (2024) [Swayze Adjacent]

2025-10-0101:43:25

Frankie and Doran, from Occult 83 video store in Dearborn [the last movie store in Michigan, and the best fetish store in the Midwest], bring their film expertise to our humble podcast. We all had a great time watching and talking about another girl power romp. This time, it's French! It's more perfect than Perfect (1985)!!!https://occult83.com/

North and South: Book II, Chapter III (1986) Rewatch w/ Shane Stroud and Mal.

2025-09-2402:12:16

We welcome back Shane with an Amrrican Flag jumpscare and some sort of ... proclamation of .... emancipation. It's a great one, folks

The Quick and the Dead (1987) [Swayze Adjacent]

2025-09-1701:13:06

The Quick and The Dead (1987) [Swayze Adjacent]. Not THAT The Quick and The Dead (1995)!!! Is it a Road House? Only sorta, but Sam Elliott is there, and that goes a long way toward checking our boxes. Spoilers for The Rehearsal, I guess? Which was totally robbed of an Emmy.

Road House (1989) Rewatch Live at The Lager House

2025-09-1059:36

It's got everything! Live music, crowd participation, even a drinking game!! Plus opinions from Erin Hill, Mike Smyth, Tyler Adams, then Erin again, and then Mike again, and Mal, too. You shoulda been there.

Road House (2024) [Swayze Adjacent]

2025-09-0301:25:05

Mike Smyth, remake expert, is back for our final remake (so far!): Jake Gyllenhal's take on Elwood Dalton in Roadhouse. Fresh off our live show at The Lager House (releasing next week!), we're all loaded up with original Roadhouse opinions and ready to talk about the 2024 version. It's DEI (and that's a good thing!)!!! It's sexless (not so good!)!! It's begging to be talked about through a Patrick Swayze lens! We are truly the exact guys to be talking about this movie.

North and South: Book II, Chapter II (1986) Rewatch w/ Danny Bolterstein and Mal

2025-08-2701:51:34

DAN IS BACK for more Civil War fun. Mal reveals a little backstory. George and Orry hang out with their Presidents, then, briefly, each other. Charles makes a new friend. Bent and Ashton finally hook up. Virgilia finally meets Olivia Soprano. Justin meets his maker.

Lost Highway (1997) [Swayze Adjacent]

2025-08-2001:18:57

Andrea Kaminski and Alicia Massey are back again, but not for the movies they thought they were watching! Somehow we have a harder time with this movie than we did with Inland Empire, but we all agree that the Mystery Man is pretty freaky deaky. Ultimately, it's a movie about pornos, folks.

Inland Empire (2006) [Swayze Adjacent]

2025-08-1301:26:57

Ian Spratt is back and we're going to tackle what is possibly David Lynch's strangest film. It feels like a culmination of all of his films - a magnum opus before finally getting another crack at Twin Peaks. This one is kinda about the SWAYZE Method, but applied to acting instead of policing!

Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me (1992) [Swayze Adjacent]

2025-08-0601:29:22

"What's the heaviest thing you've ever covered on the podcast?" That's the question AJ, AKA Slimeball Cinerama, asked while Bob crawled through Laura Palmer's window. So far, this is probably it. It's a prequel to the 90s' weirdest TV show, but you don't have to have seen the show to enjoy the film [according to David Lynch]. Probably because it's difficult for anyone at all to "enjoy" this film. Be warned, there's some terrible shit to behold in this one. LET'S ROCK.

North and South: Book II, Chapter I (1986) Rewatch w/ Pickle and Mal

2025-07-3001:39:44

The Civil War has finally begun! Pickle Fritz is back! New, updated theme song! New MOUSTACHE drop! And tell us, folks, did ladies really wear tiny cowboy hats during the Civil War?

Good Morning Vietnam (1987) [Swayze Adjacent]

2025-07-2301:45:04

Whitaker Watch and Vietnam Month both continue (and conclude?) with Shane Stroud. We finally sort out the "win condition" of Vietnam and Red Dawn's place in the history of Vietnam films. Mo' propaganda, mo' problems.

Full Metal Jacket (1987) [Swayze Adjacent]

2025-07-1601:34:32

Film guy and returning guest Andrew Snyder knows a thing or two about war film propaganda, so he's natural choice for the insanity that is Full Metal Jacket. He tells us about his personal Vietnam, and we all learn a little bit about Marine culture. Another masculine romp for the books!

Green Dragon (2001) Rewatch w/ Shane Stroud and Bud Koltys

2025-07-0901:14:29

Shane Stroud - witting or unwitting Forest Whitaker expert - and surprise guest [Patreon Executive Producer] Bud Koltys watch a Vietnam refugee story about art crossing the imperial divide. Shane makes us all feel bad - on purpose - and claims a classic segment from the pod's early days: WHITAKER WATCH. Bud reveals his [REDACTED] Personal Vietnam and then withdraws until the end of the podcast, where he really nails the Swayze Scale. Thanks to our sponsor: Gordon Food Services (when you need hundreds of cups [or chicken fingers], you know who to call: GFS)

Born on The Fourth of July (1989) [Swayze Adjacent]

2025-07-0201:26:06

Bill Kahler joins to the Swayze Boys to watch a movie about Tom Cruise's dick not working after Vietnam. Yeah, war is hell, but what about surviving war?

North and South: Book I, Chapter VI (1985) Rewatch w/ Jo Burke and Mal

2025-06-2501:17:56

Hello! Goodbye. Hello again! And also goodbye, once more. Jo Burke returns with her hot takes and to finish off Book I, kicking the Civil War we've all been waiting for. George and Orry reunite only to be ripped asunder. Babies - Bret and Billy - get married. Madeline escapes her laudanum fugue, and Justin gets what's coming to him. Ashton gets the election results she wanted, but is bad at calling a hit. Virgilia attempts mob justice.

To Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything! Julie Newmar (1995) Rewatch w/ The Fosters

2025-06-1801:44:19

Not even DTE can stop Danny and Katie from returning for unfinished business and watching To Wong Foo. It's a movie that gets some things hilariously wrong, but other things .... just .... so right.

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