Critical Arcade

This week on Critical Arcade, Nick and Dave must grab their pocket knives, practice their Sicilian and pour themselves a glass on wine because they are taking on the role of Enzo Favara, an escapee of the Sicilian sulphur mines who trespasses onto the lands of Don Bernardo Torrisi the head of the local Mafia and a man who values trust above all else. Their lives become entwined with forbidden love, horrific betrayal, and family values that rival the great Dominic Toretto. Can Nick stop saying everything in the style of Sicilian Vampire? And can Dave stop drifting around corners and actually finish the game? With a game dripping with atmosphere and narrative that grabs you by the moustache, does this game live up to its predecessors? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week on Critical Arcade, Dave and Nick dust off their PS1 nostalgia goggles and dive headfirst into the wonderfully weird and rhythmically chaotic world of PaRappa the Rapper. Released in 1996, this cult classic rhythm game has players rapping their way through everything from martial arts lessons to cake-baking catastrophes—all in the name of love. Our hero, PaRappa, may be made of paper, but his heart is all in, and so are our hosts... kind of.Join Dave and Nick as they try to help PaRappa win the affections of the sunflower-haired Sunny Funny by proving he can drive, cook, and hold his own in a freestyle battle with a moose in a bathroom line. (Yes, really.) Along the way, they’ll meet an unforgettable cast of characters including the wise and aggressive Chop Chop Master Onion, the laid-back moose, Instructor Mooselini, and the hilariously unhinged Master Baker Cheap Cheap.But not everything goes smoothly. Dave struggles to stay on beat and ends up rapping like a confused metronome, while Nick becomes dangerously obsessed with the flea market level and refuses to stop quoting it at every opportunity. Can they both “kick, punch” their way into the coveted "Cool" rating, or will they end up hopelessly stuck in “Awful” territory, forever doomed to repeat verses with zero swag?From its infectious soundtrack to its bold, cut-out animation style, PaRappa the Rapper is a quirky reminder of a time when video games were allowed to be unapologetically weird—and our hosts wouldn’t have it any other way. So grab your beanie, warm up your vocal cords, and remember: you gotta believe! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week on Critical Arcade, Nick and Dave don their finest velvet cloaks, pack an unreasonable number of throwing axes, and descend into the shadowy halls of Dracula’s castle in Castlevania: Symphony of the Night. Released in 1997, this genre-defining Metroidvania dropped players into a haunting, labyrinthine fortress as Alucard—Dracula’s half-human, half-vampire son who’s way too cool to run and instead dramatically glides everywhere he goes.As they explore the eerie corridors of the castle, they’ll face off against possessed suits of armor, bone dragons, cursed books, and whatever the hell a Scylla Wyrm is. Armed with swords, spells, and a voice performance that can only be described as “nobly confused,” Dave and Nick will attempt to piece together the bizarre plot, unlock secret passageways, and probably argue about whether the inverted castle is brilliant game design or the work of a sadist.Will Nick finally admit he’s completely lost without a walkthrough? Can Dave go five minutes without turning into a wolf by accident? And what exactly is a man, anyway—just a miserable little pile of secrets, or something more?Tune in as the boys dive fang-first into one of gaming’s most stylish, spooky, and iconic adventures. Just don’t forget to bring a library card—this castle has a lot of reading. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week on Critical Arcade, Dave and Nick slip into their cyber-sneakers, juice up their Boost Packs, and plunge headfirst into the gravity-defying, tag-spraying, rhythm-blasting world of Bomb Rush Cyberfunk. Set in the vibrant, cel-shaded sprawl of New Amsterdam, this spiritual successor to Jet Set Radio throws our duo into a chaotic turf war between graffiti crews, corrupt cops, and one seriously shady megacorp. With style as their weapon and music as their heartbeat, they’ll race across rooftops, grind rails, and wall-run their way through rival territory — all while trying to uncover the truth behind the mysterious events surrounding the death of Red’s original head… yes, actual head.As they recruit new crew members, tag over enemy graffiti, and unlock secret parts of the city, the stakes start to rise — not just in the game, but in their ability to remember which button does what.Will Nick finally land that combo after 27 failed attempts? Can Dave figure out how to manual without launching himself into traffic? Strap in, turn the volume way up, and join the boys as they bring the funk, defy the law of gravity (and common sense), and ride the rails of rebellion in this high-octane, paint-splattered journey through one of the most stylish games in recent times. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week on Critical Arcade, Nick and Dave reunite with their favorite melancholic porter in Death Stranding 2: On the Beach, Hideo Kojima’s latest delivery of mind-bending narrative, cinematic excess, and very, very complicated backpacks. The world is still broken, the skies are still crying, and now—somehow—the ocean is even weirder. Sam Porter Bridges is back, but this time he’s not just delivering packages. He’s confronting haunting truths from his past, unraveling mysterious threads about Higgs’ return, and leading a new crew on a mission that may determine the fate of both the living and the dead. As they trek through deserts of bone, cities of light, and beaches that stretch into other dimensions, the boys grapple with questions like: Why is everyone bleeding from the eyes? And is it possible to cry this much and still have fun?So load up your cargo, chug a can of Timefall Porter, and tune in as Dave and Nick attempt to decipher Death Stranding 2—one haunting song, terrifying handprint, and existential whale at a time. This isn’t just a sequel. It’s a vibe. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week on Critical Arcade, Dave and Nick must strap on their badass welding masks, sign NDA papers, and grab the biggest squirt gun they can find because they are jumping into the shoes of the FBC's first responders. Tasked with keeping the endless paranormal threats under control and its never-ending deluge of spontaneous fires, overwhelming Post-it Notes, and aggressively growing pink stuff (we think it might be bubblegum). Will Dave go mad shooting yellow squares of paper? And will Nick find out why Sony doesn't want him to matchmake with someone? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week on Critical Arcade, Dave and Nick tap into their inner chakras and dive headfirst into the gorgeously animated, spirit-infused world of Indivisible. When teenage hothead Ajna finds her village burned to the ground and a mysterious power awakened within her, she does what any emotionally stable protagonist would do—she sets off on a globe-spanning quest for vengeance and self-discovery. Along the way, she accidentally starts collecting souls like they're Pokémon, storing an increasingly chaotic cast of characters in her mind palace like it's a supernatural Airbnb. Can Dave survive the spiritual and emotional growth demanded by Ajna’s quest, or will he be too distracted by the fact that one of the party members fights with a giant living yo-yo? And will Nick ever stop trying to perfect-parry everything, including environmental hazards? Join them as they punch gods in the face, question cosmic morality, and try to remember which button makes you slide. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week on Critical Arcade, Dave and Nick descend into Elden Ring: Nightreign—FromSoftware’s latest reminder that joy is fleeting and bosses have no chill. Set in the hauntingly beautiful Limveld, the duo trades the sunny plains of the world they used to know for a realm now soaked in gloom, grief, and gravestones. As they chase down and destroy the nightmare-fuelled Nightlords (Except for Augur, he’s just a blue floating manatee.) They must adapt to the rapid roguelike gameplay, wish for decent RNG loot drops, and overlook the Pepe Le Pew-inspired janky jumping. Can Dave overcome the pressure of letting his team down? And can Nick add another Fromsoft Platinum trophy to his collection? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week on Critical Arcade, Dave and Nick find themselves waking up in the worst Airbnb in Tamriel—a damp prison cell with rats, bad lighting, and a suspicious lack of exit strategy. That’s right, it’s Oblivion Remastered, the shiny, modded, and lovingly overhauled return to Bethesda’s iconic 2006 open-world RPG. As Emperor Uriel Septim shows up in their cell to tell them they're the chosen ones—because of course they are—the duo is thrust into a sprawling adventure across Cyrodiil filled with political intrigue, demonic invasions, and some of the jankiest NPC dialogue animations this side of the White-Gold Tower. Will Dave finally figure out how to level efficiently without accidentally making the world impossibly difficult? Can Nick resist the urge to Fus Ro Dah someone into a lake—even though, yes, that’s Skyrim and no, it doesn’t work here? And most importantly, how many times will they get derailed by side quests before remembering there’s, you know, an actual Oblivion crisis happening? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week on Critical Arcade, Dave and Nick trade space marines for medieval mayhem as they dive headfirst into Doom: Dark Ages—the blood-soaked prequel we never knew we needed. Set centuries before the events of the modern Doom series, this brutal reimagining throws the Doom Slayer into a world of stone castles, haunted cathedrals, and hellspawn in chainmail. Armed with a fist forged in demonic fire, a flail that probably violates several Geneva Conventions, and yes, a medieval chainsaw shield, our hosts hack, slash, and shoot their way through a kingdom that desperately needs a hero.As they unravel the ancient lore behind the Slayer's origins. Expect intense boss fights, heavy metal Gregorian chants, and enough gore to repaint the castle walls several times over. Grab your gauntlets and grit your teeth—because this week, it's not just about ripping and tearing... It’s about doing it with medieval flair. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week on Critical Arcade, Dave and Nick grab their retro-futuristic cameras and slip on their skater shoes to explore the neon-lit, decaying world of Umurangi Generation—a first-person photography game where the apocalypse isn’t coming… It’s already here. Set in the last city standing after a slow-motion global collapse, they take on the role of a courier-slash-shutterbug tasked with documenting the final days of humanity through the lens of Gen Z cynicism and lo-fi aesthetic grit.As Dave frantically searches for the right angle to capture a giant mech looming over a dance party, Nick becomes weirdly obsessed with snapping pictures of pigeons in gas masks and spray-painted slogans that hit a little too close to home. The vibes are immaculate, the worldbuilding is environmental, and the political commentary is sharp enough to cut through a hazmat suit.Will they unlock every lens, find every hidden photo op, and interpret the unspoken poetry of a dying world? Or will they just take blurry shots of their own feet and call it art? Either way, this week’s episode is a gritty, melancholic love letter to rebellion, expression, and taking one last beautiful picture before the lights go out. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week on Critical Arcade, Dave and Nick pack their best magical brushes and step into the hauntingly beautiful, surreal nightmare that is Clair Obscur: Expedition 33. In a world where death comes not from war or plague, but from a woman with a paintbrush and a god complex, they join the 33rd Expedition—one of humanity’s last desperate hopes to break a deadly cycle. Every year, the Paintress awakens and paints a number onto the monolith. Everyone of that age is instantly erased from existence, memories and all.As they traverse crumbling cities frozen in time, twisted dreamscapes, and melancholic ruins of civilizations of old, Dave tries to keep up with the fast-paced, reflex-based combat while muttering “this is turn-based?!” every few minutes. Meanwhile, Nick gets distracted mid-battle by the fact that every enemy looks like a tragic French oil painting that just came to life and wants to kill you. With the clock ticking and only one year left before humanity is fully erased, our duo must master the art of dodging, parrying, and emotionally processing existential horror in real time. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week on Critical Arcade, Dave and Nick polish up their lightsabers and take on Star Wars: The New Droid Army, a Game Boy Advance title that boldly asks the question: “What if Anakin Skywalker had a bad day, bad intel, and a worse run animation?” Set between Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith, this pocket-sized adventure drops Anakin onto Tatooine with a mission to investigate a new kind of droid that, somehow, completely ignores lightsabers, which seems like something the Jedi Council probably should've mentioned before deployment.As Anakin, the boys battle through wave after wave of robotic enemies, shady bounty hunters, and the occasional “wait, where am I supposed to go?” moment, all while navigating levels that look like someone spilled Star Wars onto a spreadsheet. But hidden beneath the crunchy graphics and suspicious hitboxes is a story filled with betrayal, double-crosses, and enough lightsaber swinging to qualify as cardio. Can Dave's Nostalgia goggles find any redeeming qualities in a game as complex as Jar Jar Binks? Will Nick ever remember the name of Liam Neeson’s character in the Phantom Menace? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week on Critical Arcade, Nick and Dave have to grab their notebooks, hold onto their rabbits' feet, and dive headfirst into the twisted, ever-changing corridors of Blue Prince. In this rougelike puzzle game, they play the role of Simon P. Jones, a young boy who is to inherit the estate of his great uncle Herbert S. Sinclair, but it comes with one catch: they must locate a hidden 46th room within the mansion in order to secure his inheritance. Failure to reach that room within the span of a single day means Simon must start the search fresh the next day, as the house's architecture is rearranged overnight.  Can Dave stop barreling ahead with all the strategic grace of a caffeine-fueled raccoon? And will Nick's vast board gaming experience mean nothing will be left undiscovered? (Except maybe the sprint button!) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week on Critical Arcade, Nick and Dave put away their weapons, slow down time, and step into the beautiful, contemplative dreamscape of The Gardens Between. In this surreal puzzle adventure, they join childhood friends Arina and Frendt as they explore a string of mysterious island gardens, each one crafted from fragments of their shared memories. With the power to control time itself, Nick and Dave will have to guide the pair through shifting pathways, manipulate objects frozen in moments, and unlock the quiet stories hidden within the scenery.As they venture deeper into this emotional journey, they’ll encounter oversized swings, glowing lanterns, and long-forgotten treasures from the friends’ past. Why does Dave think every game like this must have some dark twist at the end? And can Nick put on monetary value to the warm fuzzies this game give you? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.